Sober Shepherds

11/13/2025

🕊️ Hope doesn’t knock loud — sometimes it whispers.

11/13/2025

🕊️ If you can’t change your situation, change the way you see it.

and should I say if you can’t change your situation change the way you say it or if you cannot change a situation I like your cause it’s personal

11/12/2025

🕊️ Surviving the holidays sober is the quietest kind of victory.

11/11/2025

Gratitude doesn’t change your past — it changes your perspective. 🕊️

11/08/2025

🕊️ The Miracle of Humility

After years of being defined the black sheep, we are offered a gift many fear they don’t deserve. The turbulence of our once horrible existence inverts into a pink cloud we float on a while through the persistence of firm determination to stay sober. The roughest times with substances always on our minds soon become a memory of our jaded past. A new way to cope with life becomes foreign territory. Fear still lives on the edge of our existence as we are formally introduced to life on life’s terms for the first time as adults. We accept the good news once the obsession has been lifted; that we will survive the beating that almost took our life. However, what isn’t apparent is how long we have been absent from reality.

For a period of time, we try to impress our new peers with our ability to seem friendly even though we still despise the world and everyone in it. People pleasing can turn from a seemingly good deed into resentment almost instantly. So soon into reaching for tags of accolades we may find ourselves in debt, quickly thinking maybe we can shop our way into positive decision making. Newcomers shack up with others blinded by low self-worth only to find out that water seeks its own level. The custom-tailored idea we have penciled out for ourselves is an impossible recovery to those who want this à la carte. Many cease to realize that if we can survive staying sober long enough without relapsing we reach the bottom of a new mountain and begin to climb our way out of hell. Every other attempt at healing other than what is suggested is just a lure to try and divert us.

We want this new way of life so badly that we think maybe elbow grease will carry us to where we witness others in their recovery. Some of us get the idea that with enough service and hard work we might receive an Oscar for best effort. We spend so many years as the pincushion to the world around as permanently damaged, when we do arrive and awaken to this opportunity, all we want is to get it perfect.

Humility is the key that opens the door to accepting ourselves as we are and not for the illusion we play to the rooms to how it is we’d like to be seen. Those who think their past is unique are convinced that others who share the same space stand in judgment as they plan to run from public ex*****on. However, it’s the very same people who reach for our chins to level our eyes we later define as real friends. They dust us off and share their experience with common miscalculations everyone experiences as newcomers.

Our new existence can only be taught to us by others who set the example. It is only through personal strife that we produce the very mortar needed to build a foundation powerful enough to withstand human error shared with others so publicly. The strength required to accept all that’s packaged with life’s disappointments redefines our thought process as we develop blind faith and continue to stay sober despite all current circumstances. As we build our new selves, we begin working with others proudly living the good advice fed to us few will ever find the courage to swallow. We pray daily to keep an open mind. Willingness becomes the inner strength needed to use these permanent tools for everlasting change. Within such priceless principles, we slowly evolve into a spiritual example for those who follow after us. Then, we freely give away this knowledge to someone who once stood in our shoes and pray that they too can survive the miracle of humility.

11/07/2025

Sober Shepherds® Podcast: "Growing up in Public"

Growing up in Public is a raw, funny, and heartfelt look at what it means to grow in recovery for the world to witness.

11/06/2025

Don’t survive in the shadows of addiction — live life fully in the light of sobriety 🕊️

11/05/2025

Tears of Joy 🕊️

A Sober Shepherds® Documentary

Journey into one women's truth — told through love, loss, and the power of redemption.

If one heart feels less alone it was worth every tear.

Send a message to learn more

11/04/2025

There is no greater feeling than the freedom from the bo***ge of self.

11/02/2025

Taking Your Time 🕊️

I’ve often heard it said along my journey in sobriety that those who claim time means nothing are usually those who don’t have any. Time, it seems, becomes our first major accomplishment after losing so many years to its relentless passing. The great starter but terrible finisher begins life anew by achieving the seemingly impossible mission of staying sober from time up until bedtime. Then, they are reborn on a fresh calendar date, all of it beginning with a singular moment in time.

In recovery, time takes on countless forms—it comes in all shapes, colors, materials, and even adornments. Some of us carry our time on a necklace or a keychain, while others tattoo it to their skin. For some, it’s worn proudly on their sleeve, while others take advantage of those who haven’t yet discovered its meaning. Time is celebrated and revered, especially by those who fear losing it. Time transforms into a responsibility, a reputation, an education, and a meaning that far transcends the ticking of a clock on the wall. It becomes a teacher—one that leads by example, where those with more time show those with less time how to make the most of their time.

From day one, we are reminded that time takes time. Along the way, we learn that one bad decision can sn**ch time away as quickly as it’s gained. Time can heal all wounds, but it can also lead us to the grave. The recovery date we cling to this time may not be the last time. Through the lessons of others who stumble, we learn that time is fragile—realistically, it lasts only twenty-four hours at a time. Time in is time earned, and it’s earned by showing up again and again, one day at a time.

11/01/2025

When freedom calls – take the invitation.

10/31/2025

The Me I Don’t Want You To See

For the past twenty-four years, I have been in and out of recovery in five states. Throughout that era, I have painfully graced countless psychiatric institutions wherein each of them I was diagnosed with numerous emotional and mental disorders. I have been prescribed dozens of mind and mood-altering medications in desperate measures to heal a wound that no pill could ever repair. Even up until recently, and after having worked all twelve steps to the best of my ability I still sensed that something was absent. Even while involving myself in service and selflessly helping others, there still remained a part of me that felt deficient. Therefore, I abstained from allowing anyone in too close; manipulating myself over a lifetime into a much deeper denial than I ever was while drinking and using drugs.

It’s far from a comic tale when I reflect on my upbringing. The domestic dysfunction I was born into I never dreamed could have such an impact on my life as an adult. As a child, I learned to hide within myself to shield my innocence to survive the unbearable trauma I could shake off. I hadn’t a clue that as I grew older, parts of me would remain trapped in the earliest stages of human development, and as an adult, permit fear to rule my existence. Throughout my life whenever anyone expressed deep feelings of love for me, subconsciously, my inner child would surface and begin to manipulate and extract affection from the other party until they could no longer provide what I still longed for from my parents. Eventually, I got the same reaction I feared the most as a child – abandonment.

I don’t believe for a second that I was born this way. Sure, there are still parts of me that are incapable of being honest with myself, but it’s not because I am the unfortunate one. It’s not because I don’t speak my mind in a crowded meeting with as much validity as my heart can lend in three to five minutes. It’s certainly not because I lack courage or integrity or haven’t been willing to go to any and all lengths. It’s not because I am a bad person or because my intentions aren’t sincere when it involves matters of the heart. It’s not because I don’t deserve what I envy when I see families united as one unit or feel shame when my own mother or father tries to show me affection. It’s merely because there are parts that make up my person I have never quite understood; issues deep within me I could never quite resolve; always allowing others to define me. I was raised feeling so inadequate that I eventually branded myself incapable of nurturing the adult in me that still reacts to intimacy like an infant. My own conclusions to my inability to form a true partnership with another human being I have always viewed as a handicap. Isolating the frightened child inside of me was the safest way to survive in this world. However, the new freedom and new happiness I have heard in the promises can only be obtained if I am willing to set my sail a little further. Contentment behind the internal freedom I have always dreamed of owning requires much more courage than just the supply of basic tools I was given to stay sober.

I think I’ve always wanted to be the student, but I’ve executed every teacher. I wasn’t able until this very moment in time to distinguish the reality between who I perceive myself to be versus this character I play to the world as a wonderful, stable and capable being. I work hard at playing it safe and get very comfortable for years at a time until I forget about the horrors that come along with getting too close to the roots that make up my tree. I fantasize that every heart that strolls into my world for is for a lifetime. Nevertheless, maybe they are just angels in disguise pulling me closer to the promises I have always feared will come to fruition for everyone except me. Perhaps I am justifying the excruciating pain of having to let someone I adore depart my life in order for me to journey into a piece of myself I know I can only face with a higher power. And even Him I still question because I trust no one! I wish a spiritual big shot could provide me the answers as quick as I can open a bag of dope and recipe myself into an immediate fix. I’ve always been more willing to evade the throbbing process that’s required to address such frightening topics. Subsequently, it may just be another clout of painful optimism that is shedding light to the darkest side of hope to begin a new chapter into rewriting the book of me.