Comedy Jokes

Laugh Everyday with Jeff Dunham & Puppets

12/09/2024

MY MIL MISTREATED MY SON FROM A PREVIOUS MARRIAGE WHEN I WASN'T AROUND – WHEN I FOUND OUT, I TAUGHT HER A PROPER LESSON

I've got two sons — one's 12 from my previous marriage, while the other's 6 from my current one. My older son's dad passed away, and four years later, I married my now-husband.

So, the other day, I decided to drop by my MIL's house (my current husband's mom) unannounced to bring some food and toys and spend a little time with my boys, who were staying there for summer break.

I walked in without knocking, thinking I'd surprise them, but what I heard froze me in my tracks. "PETER! I TOLD YOU TO STAY IN THE ROOM AND NOT COME OUT, YOU UNDERSTAND? YOU'RE PUNISHED, AND YOU'LL BE IN THAT ROOM ALONE UNTIL NIGHTFALL!"

"Grandma, please, I'm sorry!" I heard Peter cry.

"I'M NOT YOUR GRANDMA AND NEVER CALL ME THAT AGAIN!" she screamed.

I was stunned and furious. This woman always smiled at me like butter wouldn't melt when I saw her.

I had an idea in my head on how to take revenge for my son and teach this woman a lesson once and for all! Without a second thought, I reached into my bag for MY PHONE. ⬇️

12/09/2024

Grace's day at the shop was flawless, until "SHE" appeared. Picture this: a woman in her 60s, draped in elegance, perfumed like a high-end boutique, yet emanating the warmth of a glacier. Her goal? To get a gift for her soon-to-be daughter-in-law, who she was meeting for the first time the next day. Sweet, right? NO. She dismissed every suggestion like clockwork, capping it with the cutting line, “THIS GIRL DOESN’T DESERVE SUCH GIFTS.”

Grace’s inner cringe hit hard. After a painstaking tour of Grace’s “useless shop,” the woman left with a lukewarm, “I might come back.” But Grace wished she didn't.

By the next evening, this rude customer was history—Grace was on a perfect dinner date with Ethan, her boyfriend. Then, he unexpectedely blindsided her, “Surprise! My mum’s joining us. Oh, there she is now!”

Grace turned, and there she stood—the icy woman from the shop. Her cheery smile vanished the second their eyes locked.😳👇

12/09/2024

It was unbearable! For years, my husband insisted we spend Thanksgiving and Christmas with HIS family, never mine. Every single year, the same fight — I'd suggest taking turns or coming up with something fair, but nope, Peter refused to budge about going to my parents' place. This year, I'd had enough. My parents are older and can't travel, so I told him it was happening. No excuses.

He finally agreed but spent days sulking like a kid. When we got there, he was the WORST — being rude to my family, sitting there with this grumpy face like it was torture. I begged him to act normal, and my parents bent over backward to make him feel welcome, but he ignored them. When I saw my mom's eyes welling up, I lost it.

Me: "What's your problem?! Seriously, WHAT is going on?!"
Peter: "NOTHING IS RIGHT! THOW IS THIS EVEN THANKSGIVING WITHOUT MY MOM'S CHOCOLATE PUDDING? That's it, get up, we're leaving. I'm done!"

And then, from across the table, came a voice: "NO, YOU LISTEN!"👇

12/09/2024

Celine Dion and her late husband's son had long hair as a child and WENT BALD at 23 — Photos from before and after his TRANSFORMATION are in the comments.👇

12/09/2024

MY LITTLE DAUGHTER WROTE A LETTER TO SANTA, BUT HER WISH MADE ME QUESTION MY MARRIAGE.

This year, my 5-year-old daughter, Lily, was excited to prepare her letter to Santa. Usually, I write it for her, but this time, we worked on it together, starting a month before Christmas so we could sort through the realistic wishes and make it special.

Her: I want a kitchen set, a camera like James has, a smartwatch like Pam’s, and… oh, I want Grandma to play with me, not with Dad.

I froze, “My mom or Dad’s, hon? And what do you mean, with Dad?”

Her: Yours. She comes when I’m usually asleep, around 3 p.m. One time, I woke up and heard something. I saw Grandma’s bag and heard her voice in your bedroom. When I went in, Daddy was putting on his shirt. When I ask Grandma to play, they said they’d already played, so Grandma was leaving.

It all felt surreal. My mom and...my husband? No, it couldn’t be. I shook off the thought. But as the days passed, I couldn’t ignore the unease.

I found out that she comes day after day. So, yesterday, I came home earlier than usual and a few minutes later, I heard my husband's voice and strange sounds. I rushed up and saw my mom! ⬇️

12/09/2024

A ROOFER DISCOVERED A SECRET STASH HIDDEN IN THE CHIMNEY OF AN ELDERLY POOR WOMAN.

Nancy, 72, lived in a rundown neighborhood in an enormous old house. Decades ago, the house belonged to her father, once one of the wealthiest and most respected men in the area. He was known for being an honest and kind businessman. But after his passing, his business partners swindled the company away, leaving his family with nothing.

Years later, Nancy was the only one left in the big, crumbling house. She struggled financially and couldn't afford the upkeep of such a large property.

One day, a kind neighbor noticed Nancy complaining about her leaky roof and offered to help fix it. She was touched by his generosity and immediately agreed, grateful for any assistance.

While working on the roof, the neighbor accidentally knocked against the old brick chimney. Suddenly, one of the bricks came loose, revealing an empty space behind it. Curious, he leaned in to look and froze, his eyes widening. Without saying a word, he reached into the hole with his hand.

12/09/2024

I FOUND OUT MY HUSBAND WAS CHEATING ON ME BECAUSE OF A SIMPLE BOX OF PIZZA

I'm the breadwinner in our family, working long hours while my husband stays home. I was fine with it—I wanted to believe he appreciated everything I did for us. But then I found out he's been having his mistress over every time I'm away! The kicker? I discovered it through his frequent pizza orders for her.

So, I decided to teach him a lesson in a genius way. I disguised myself as a pizza delivery person, complete with a helmet and uniform. When he opened the door, he didn't even recognize me. He looked confused and asked why the box was so light. Just as I was about to answer, his mistress appeared behind him, and I froze.

I knew her. She wasn't just anyone—she was someone I thought I could trust. My stomach dropped, but I kept my cool. Taking off my helmet, I glared at him and said, "Enjoy your slice of reality!" His face turned ghostly pale, and as he opened the box, he grew even whiter.👇

12/09/2024

After a tough divorce, I hadn't seen my son, Justin, in years. So when my ex-wife finally agreed to send him to visit me, I was over the moon. I pictured us having the best time together and even went all out preparing his favorite snacks for when he arrived.

I waited at the airport, heart racing, watching passengers pour out of the plane. But Justin wasn't there. At first, I figured maybe he was delayed — bathroom break, maybe? But as time ticked by, the crowd thinned, and still no sign of him.

Starting to panic, I approached a flight attendant and asked if there had been a boy named Justin on the flight. Her answer hit me like a ton of bricks: "No, there wasn't."

I immediately called my ex-wife, trying to stay calm. She picked up, and when I told her Justin hadn't arrived, her response made my blood run cold: "What are you talking about?! I handed him over to the flight attendant myself. Are you saying… our son is missing?"

12/09/2024

BEFORE THANKSGIVING DINNER, I GOT A TURKEY FROM A STRANGER WITH A NOTE INSIDE

I'd been up since 6 a.m., prepping Thanksgiving dinner while Ryan lounged on the couch, yelling at football.

Around noon, the doorbell rang. A delivery guy handed me a beautifully roasted turkey in a fancy box.

"I didn't order this," I said, confused.

"Special delivery," he replied, smiling.

I thought, "Wow, did Ryan actually do something thoughtful?" But when I opened the box, my stomach dropped.

Inside was a note: "THANK YOU for sharing your husband with me!"

My hands shook as I reread it. While Ryan cheered at the TV, I grabbed his phone. ⬇️

12/09/2024

I RECEIVED A "LETTER FROM THE PAST" — INSIDE WAS A NOTE FROM MY HUSBAND SAYING, "I DID THIS FOR US, BUT YOU MUST STAY SILENT."

My husband and I have been together for 15 years and have two teenagers. Recently, I received an envelope postmarked 20 years ago. It was addressed to me from my husband, Ernest, back when we were teenagers. I felt a rush of excitement at the idea of receiving a "letter from the past."

But that excitement faded fast. Inside was a note that read: "I DID THIS FOR US, BUT YOU MUST STAY SILENT." Along with it were 10 small photos. Some showed kids from our school, including me, classmates, and a few I didn't recognize. Then I noticed a photo that sent chills through me — a picture of my friend who drowned at 16. He had gone to the lake alone and never came back.

As I examined the photos, the door swung open. Ernest walked into the kitchen, sweaty from working in the yard. My heart pounded as his eyes fell on what I was holding. His face turned pale.

"Where did you get this?" he asked, looking me straight in the eyes.⬇️

12/09/2024

At 62, I found a boyfriend. His name was Peter, and like me, he was single. From our very first date, we hit it off instantly. He was so confident and gallant—almost too good to be true! I couldn't believe someone like him had come into my life. Before long, we started dating, and everything felt like a whirlwind of happiness. I even invited him to spend Thanksgiving with my family.

That day, while I was in the kitchen cooking, he hummed my favorite songs, glancing over occasionally with that charming smile of his. My heart swelled. I thought to myself, this is it. This is going to be the best day.

But then, out of nowhere, he disappeared. One moment he was there, and the next, he was gone. I tried not to panic, but a sense of unease crept in as I searched the house for him. When I finally found him, I froze.

He was whispering to my daughter-in-law, their heads close together. At first, I told myself it was nothing—maybe just a friendly chat. But as I leaned in to listen, the truth hit me like a punch to the gut. I stood there, feeling like a complete fool, the reality of it sinking in.👇

12/09/2024

This song was recorded in 1955, today it is considered as one of the best songs ever! Watch the video in the first comment…When Righteous Brothers covered it a decade later? WOW!

12/09/2024

MY MIL BOUGHT A HOT DOG COSTUME FOR MY ELDEST DAUGHTER, WHILE HER BIO GRANDDAUGHTERS GOT PRINCESS DRESSES.

I'm still in shock and angry as I write this. I have three daughters: Mabel, my eldest from a previous marriage, and my two younger daughters from my current marriage. Last week, my mom passed away, and I had to leave for her funeral in another state. My biggest worry was the girls' upcoming school ball — I hadn't bought their dresses yet.

My MIL assured me, "Don't worry. I'll handle everything. You go."

I trusted her.

On the day of the funeral, I got a message from my MIL. I opened it, hoping it would brighten my spirits. But instead, it was a punch to the gut. My younger daughters were dressed in beautiful princess gowns while Mabel stood there in a ridiculous hot dog costume, looking humiliated.

To make it worse, MIL's caption read, "Every princess needs a sidekick, right? Here's ours!"

I was shaking with anger. And my husband was fuming even more. So, he didn't let it slide for my MIL. ⬇️

12/09/2024

You are not big enough for her!" They all laughed at him for marrying her! Years later, they all wish they hadn't 😱💔 look what happened in first comments below👇

12/09/2024

I've lived a long honest life, but at 75, I'm completely alone. The only legacy I have left is a guitar, the last item from my music shop that I dedicated my life to. I dreamed of finding someone to pass on my legacy to before I leave this world.

So, I made friends with the neighbor kid, Tommy. He dreamed of playing like I did but couldn't afford his own instrument—his parents had died, and he only has an older brother. I started teaching him, and then... I gave him my last savings so he could buy a guitar. He had a light, a talent.

And then he disappeared. I found out his brother, Jason, had forbidden him from playing music. Not understanding why he was so harsh with little Tommy, I offered to help and went to talk to him.

But just five minutes into our heated conversation, Jason smashed the guitar. He shattered Tommy's only joy and left him sobbing over the broken instrument.

That's when I realized there was one thing I had to do.👇

12/09/2024

Caleb was sitting in his office, looking through his company's annual report on his laptop. Suddenly, a janitor, a woman likely in her late 50s, walked in with cleaning supplies.

"Excuse me, sir…I'm extremely sorry…I didn't mean to disturb you. I'll just mop up the floor in five minutes," she said as Caleb looked up and experienced the massive shock of his life. The woman standing in front of him bore an uncanny resemblance to his… But it's impossible!

"Oh my God...it's unbelievable," Caleb gasped. "It's okay…please come in," he said, his gaze stalking the woman as she marched across the office. "Uh, I don't think I've seen you around before…but your face looks so familiar."

The woman smiled and turned around. "My name is Michelle, sir. I started working here recently. This town is quite small…maybe you saw me somewhere. But I just moved here two weeks ago."

"I'm Caleb," he said as his brows furrowed with suspicion. "Michelle, I don't understand why I get this strange feeling when I see your face…but maybe you're right," he added as he reached for his cup of coffee, only to accidentally spill it on his laptop.

"Damn…not again!" Caleb leaped back.

"Don't worry, sir…I'll clean it up for you." Michelle dropped the mop and hurried to Caleb's table to clean the mess. She rolled up her sleeves and started wiping the laptop with a cloth. That's when Caleb's eyes fell on a peculiar scar on her left arm.

"There you go...your laptop is clean!" Michelle said as she turned to Caleb.

"This scar... How did you get it?"👇

12/09/2024

DEADLY FALL 😭💔 Prince Harry is devastated with grief. With heavy hearts, we announce the passing. Check the first comment ⤵️⤵️

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