mxdflz

04/25/2020

"we live in a country where if you are different in any way then people code that and they say that one way is right and one way is wrong. that's problematic because you start to rank certain people's experiences over others and it's often the case that eurocentric perspectives win out compared to people of color's perspectives. change is possible and i think that marginal communities have demonstrated time and time again throughout history that they're the ones who are making change happen. folks in power do not make change happen. so i think that would be my message, let's try to get more expansive and creative about who we think of as experts when it comes to identity." - .phd
our convo with dr. ocampo covers a wide range of relevant topics pertaining to the politics of race in the united states through the filipino-american experience. we talk about the fluid and contextual nature of race, shared panethnic experiences between ethnic groups, fictive kin and family, the intersection between the mixed-race and filipino experience, social power and whiteness, knowledge production in academia, and much more. dr. ocampo also gives us a preview of his next book, "to be brown and gay in LA".
this episode is packed with knowledge and wisdom, be sure to check it out on our website mxdflz.com/podcasts/ocampo
***rauthors

04/23/2020

"[filipino studies] are not driven by numbers because there's a ton of filipinos but it doesn't necessarily merit them as a focus of study so i think when a group doesn't fit people just don't want to deal with it because career wise 'this is not gonna get me anywhere'. and for the folks that actually do care about it they have to– and this was the case for me– they have to go above and beyond to try to convince people by any means necessary that this s**t matters. like, when i was doing my research i had to figure out ways to get people to give a s**t about filipinos and i used everything at my disposal. i wasn't able to just study what i was interested in and have people automatically care...it's fu**ed up but thats the reality i was dealing with on an everyday basis when trying to write this book. at the end of the day i made a choice: i was like, 'why did i go into this career?' i went into this career because i was that kid in college that never had a chance to read about myself and i wanted to write the book that i should've been able to read." - .phd
our convo with dr. ocampo covers a wide range of relevant topics pertaining to the politics of race in the united states through the filipino-american experience. we talk about the fluid and contextual nature of race, shared panethnic experiences between ethnic groups, fictive kin and family, the intersection between the mixed-race and filipino experience, social power and whiteness, knowledge production in academia, and much more. dr. ocampo also gives us a preview of his next book, "to be brown and gay in LA".
this episode is packed with knowledge and wisdom, be sure to check it out on our website mxdflz.com/podcasts/ocampo
***rauthors

04/20/2020

***new podcast, link in bio***

in this episode we sit down with dr. anthony ocampo who is a professor of sociology, native los angelino, son of immigrants, q***r, and a dog dad whose work focuses on race, immigration and lgbtq issues. we discuss his book "the latinos of asia: how filipino americans break the rules of race".
"filipinos break the rules of race because they're not just one thing, because of the history of colonialism, the history of immigration, they have overlapping experiences with several different boxes and i think that this country doesn't know how to grapple with that and i hope that focusing on the filipino case gives people a template for how people who fit multiple categories navigate that in everyday life." - .phd
this episode is packed with knowledge and wisdom, be sure to check it out on our website mxdflz.com, link in bio! @ Pomona, California

11/28/2019

***in the mix spotlight*** with jeff cooper

– What are some challenges you have faced when it comes to navigating personal identity?

Growing up black and mixed in a city with so few black people created an isolating experience. In the 90s and early 2000s there were so few black people in Surrey that it was common to go weeks without seeing another black person besides your family. At the same time we were inundated with black culture through our TV's, radios and fashion. This was a time when rap music, R&B, black sitcoms and clothing labels were becoming mainstream for the first time. People in my city ate it up entirely. Kids were affecting "blaccents", speaking in ebonics, wearing baggy jeans and learning to breakdance. It's hard to overstate how deeply it influenced us. Being one of the only black kids around they all turned to me as a point of reference but in reality I was no different than they were. I wasn't African American and was arguably just as guilty of appropriating a one dimensional idea of blackness as they were. But, suddenly my ethnicity gave me a cool factor, a cachet and as a teen, cool is all you want to be. So I'd say I leaned into this pretty hard.

It was a confusing time and what compounded it was the fact that I was q***r and in the closet. In this one dimensional understanding of what black was, the black male was meant to be hyper masculine. I had to police by body very very hard to hide my q***rness and hold onto the social capital this stereotype was affording me.

It took me into my mid-20s to start to really let go and be a more authentic version of myself
***rcreators ***r

11/27/2019

***in the mix spotlight*** with jeff cooper

jeff cooper is a creative from vancouver, who is currently traveling across north america while working on his project themixdproject.com.

– tell us a little bit about yourself. where did you grow up and how were you raised?

i grew up in a pastel pink stucco home in the suburbs of vancouver, a place called surrey. it's a place that's hard to explain. it's a mix of working class, middle class and some very wealthy folks, often all living within blocks of each other, sometimes on the same street. i was raised alongside my sister who's only a year older than me, my irish settler mother and trinidadian father. it was a quiet upbringing in a suburb that was boring in the same gnawing way that most suburbs are. you grow up being desperate to leave.
***rcreators ***r

09/14/2019

***update: new mxdflz podcast episode***
"I see my relationship to landscape as something that's very inward, internal. My body has physically traversed many different spaces. I'm interested in the kind of residue of those spaces that still resonate within my spirit and even beyond that, but perhaps the spirit that I carry from the landscapes that my ancestors have traversed before me…

That's a foundation. There's a reflection in a history but just as important is the agency that I claim in creating an entirely new space, a space that only I can invent and a space that hasn't existed yet." - Camille Hoffman Studio
it was such a pleasure to sit down with a person as thoughtful, kind and eloquent as camille. a big takeaway from our conversation was learning to see immersive art as an extra-lingual form of expression, particularly useful for those whose mxd experiences cannot be easily labeled or categorized.
take a listen to camille's episode, learn more about her journey and who she is: https://mxdflz.com/posts/2019/9/8/podcast-ep-5-breaking-down-layers-of-contradiction-w-camille-hoffman

09/12/2019

***update: new mxdflz podcast episode***
"What does it mean to be an artist living in the 21st century in the United States? What does it mean to be an artist who comes from...a particular socio-economic cultural background and what are the materials of my day-to-day life and and how can those be unfolded into a narrative that speaks to this history but is also something that's more current?

That kind of led me on this path of exploring and experimenting...with different kinds of things and thinking about what...materials are already in my life. What are the materials I've grown up with? What are the materials that I absorb and also the kind of waste that I create as a human...what is my footprint, you know? And I start to find that those materials began...this organic dialogue where they start to tell me what they want to do and how they want to be a part of the work." - Camille Hoffman Studio
for the full episode, please visit: https://mxdflz.com/posts/2019/9/8/podcast-ep-5-breaking-down-layers-of-contradiction-w-camille-hoffman

09/10/2019

***update: new mxdflz podcast episode***
"...to give a specific example, a lot of it kind of came together for me when I was in art school…

I started looking at these paintings...you familiar with Casta paintings? Casta painting emerged...when Spain was establishing their new colonies in Mexico and the Philippines...all over South America and this...portraiture painting...was a way by which the Spanish were able to document the kind of mixed-race families that were expanding...within the colony. 'Casta' actually translates to caste. So, it was a way to reinforce colonial ideas and impose...caste structures on particular mixes of people and really favoring the more European.

So...for me...as a Filipina who is also mixed...I was really interested in looking at these paintings [and] thinking about...how these structures that have been used in art to reinforce or delineate certain kinds of identities are ultimately a part of the history that I inherit and can critically look at." - Camille Hoffman Studio
if you're someone who is interested in the complex processes involved in creating art (particularly as a multiethnic/multicultural individual) then this is an episode you will not want to miss. we sat down with camille to talk about her own artistic process, which draws inspiration from the philippine and jewish traditions of her ancestors, and disrupts visual perception.
for the full episode, please visit: https://mxdflz.com/posts/2019/9/8/podcast-ep-5-breaking-down-layers-of-contradiction-w-camille-hoffman

09/05/2019

***in the mix spotlight*** with clarissa blau
what are some challenges you have faced when it comes to navigating personal identity?
"Being biracial, often comes with the territory of having to explain yourself. People take a look at you and automatically want to figure you out. I always sense this underlying frustration when people can’t get it. And to make matters more complicated, I’m also bisexual. So you could say the notion of “bi” has always meant a great deal to me. Because of my personal identity, I’ve certainly felt fetishized. On numerous occasions, people have described me as “interesting” once I told them about my background. What’s so interesting about your truth right?" - clarissa blau
To read more, visit https://mxdflz.com/posts/clarissa-blau

09/04/2019

***in the mix spotlight*** with clarissa blau
Have you ever experienced someone making assumptions about your background (race, ethnicity, culture, nationality, etc.). If so, what kind of assumptions were made and how did you deal with this?
"Constantly! People are convinced I’m Puerto Rican or Colombian. When I tell them I don’t speak spanish, there’s this “oh my god no way” moment that I’ve grown accustomed to. I realize this isn’t so far fetched, when you look at the history of the Philippines (being colonized by Spain), but it’s still frustrating to feel like your identity is in question like someone could know you better than you?! I like to believe I’ve gotten to a place where these assumptions don’t bother me, you have to put one foot forward and take charge with this decisiveness that no one can mess with." - clarissa blau

check out her spotlight on our site mxdflz.com, link in bio!

09/03/2019

***in the mix spotlight*** with clarissa blau
clariss blau is a badass queens native and a commercial producer who works primarily in the fashion and beauty world. when we asked clarissa where she felt most comfortable doing a photoshoot, she suggested flushing meadows corona park. growing up, clarissa would visit the park just to skate or hang out with friends, so we decided to take a trip down memory lane and get a few shots of her skating around the park on her sweet unity board.
tell us a little bit about yourself. where were you born and how were you raised?
"I was born and raised in Queens to a Filipino mother and a native New Yorker Jewish father with European ancestry. Both my parents embodied hard work, my mother a nurse and my father worked in the post office.

So many of my friends growing up had different ethnic backgrounds, a lot of them were half and half like me. At the time, I didn’t feel like that had a great significance, but in retrospect I’m so thankful for that experience. But of course I’ve had many moments of feeling like an other, when you’re the only person in the room with such a specific ethnic background." - clarissa blau
To read more, visit https://mxdflz.com/posts/clarissa-blau

08/09/2019

IN THE MIX SPOTLIGHT with Pearl Low

spotlight is a new section we've recently launched on mxdflz that serves as a growing list/directory of [mxd] creatives. it is our hope that over time as we grow the [mxd] community, that 'spotlight' can be a hub for collaboration among [mxd] creatives. it gives us so much joy to empower and connect people who otherwise would've never found each other.
pearl is a story artist, illustrator and animator currently based in vancouver BC. she's worked extensively with kickstart entertainment on their shows, as well as on mega man, the iconic video game character. follow her
on our website we define, in-part, [mxd] subjects as being "in perpetual flows and shifts between a multiplicity of personas, positions, and points of interconnection". we asked pearl in what way she considers herself to be a [mxd] subject?
"What a lovely definition! I guess I consider myself a mxd subject based on how I constantly shift between my two cultural worlds and points of interconnection between the Black and Asian community. The only thing that I don't identify with *anymore* is when it comes to shifting between personas. That's something that I'm trying to do less of. In Vancouver, Black and Asian communities do not interact very much and because of that, I find it easier to participate in both my communities separately. In the past, whenever I interacted with the Chinese community, I always heavily adjusted myself and became a different person. Presenting myself as Asian along with being Black had been difficult for me in the past-- because of anti-Blackness in the Chinese community-- so I just participate in the Chinese community within a Chinese cultural context. On the flip-side though, I find it easier to authentically express myself as an Asian and Black person within the Black community. I'm now trying to take the attitude of how I navigate through the Black community and apply that to how I interact with my Chinese community. Not going to lie it's still hard, awkward and scary but I'm trying to lean into the stance of being your authentic self unapologetically." –
for more of pearl's thoughtful words, accompanied by illustrations and art just as thoughtful, follow her on instagram
To read more, visit https://mxdflz.com/fumichun

– Tell us a little bit about yourself. Where did you grow up and how were you raised? Hi! My name is Pearl Low and I identify as Blasian. My mother comes from Guangdong, China and my father from Kingston, Jamaica. I grew up in the Eastside in Vancouver, BC. and was raised by my single mother. Alth...

08/09/2019

IN THE MIX SPOTLIGHT with Pearl Low

pearl low is a talented story artist currently working in vancouver, BC. her latest work, "Tension", explores themes of acceptance, self love and identity through the perspective of an afro-asian woman. "Tension" is currently available for purchase on etsy.
we met up with pearl during her visit to nyc and had a blast hanging out. we asked her what challenges she faced when navigating her personal identity:

One of the biggest challenges for me was learning to define and explore what it means to be Black, and specifically, Jamaican. Growing up with my mom's side of the family in Vancouver-- where 27.7% of the population is Chinese and only 1% of the population is Black-- I was immersed in Cantonese culture but Black culture... not so much. What I knew Blackness to be was whatever I saw in the media. Oftentimes it was stressful and confusing seeing these depictions of Black people because they never resonated with my character in an authentic way and worse, tons of people around me had the expectation that I was supposed to embody that persona. Of course, learning to navigate my identity when it came to being Asian was also a challenge, but because I was exposed to so much more Cantonese culture, it was easier to ground myself with a firm sense of knowing that I was undoubtedly, Chinese. That being said, it was still difficult and disheartening at times to claim being Chinese. My Blackness is always put at the at the forefront when I navigate Chinese spaces. I am a visible minority in my own community and when no one looks like you in your own community, there's tends to be a strong sense of exclusion that you experience from members who so visibly fit in. It's dealing with that, that made claiming my Chinese identity so difficult. The constant push and pull from two sides of the Chinese community telling you you'll never be Chinese and the others who do say you belong. It all forces you to come back to yourself and ask the question, "So which one is it?"
for more of pearl's thoughtful words, accompanied by illustrations and art just as thoughtful, follow her on instagram
To read more, visit https://mxdflz.com/fumichun

08/09/2019

IN THE MIX SPOTLIGHT with Pearl Low

pearl low is a talented story artist currently working in vancouver, BC. her latest work, "Tension", explores themes of acceptance, self love and race through the lens of an afro-asian woman. "Tension" is currently available for purchase on etsy. we met up with pearl during her visit to nyc and had a blast hanging out. pearl always has fun sketches and great thoughts to share on her ig so be sure to follow her!
here's pearl sharing about where she grew up and how she was raised:

Hi! My name is Pearl Low and I identify as Blasian. My mother comes from Guangdong, China and my father from Kingston, Jamaica. I grew up in the Eastside in Vancouver, BC. and was raised by my single mother. Although I was primarily brought up in Cantonese culture-- since my mother is Chinese-- my mother tried her best to cook some Jamaican food at home so I at least had some Jamaican influence in my life. In the Eastside at the time, all sorts of folks from Filipinx, Vietnamese, and Indian communities lived in the neighbourhood. Friends I had made from all said communities had a huge impact on how I became the person that I am today. On top of that, the neighbourhood I grew up in had tons of immigrant families. The culture that I found myself in as a whole was rooted in immigrant experiences where you were taught to work as hard as you can, be humble, and no matter your circumstances, be resourceful and try to make-do with what you got!
check out her spotlight on our site mxdflz.com, link in bio!


To read more, visit https://mxdflz.com/fumichun

– Tell us a little bit about yourself. Where did you grow up and how were you raised? Hi! My name is Pearl Low and I identify as Blasian. My mother comes from Guangdong, China and my father from Kingston, Jamaica. I grew up in the Eastside in Vancouver, BC. and was raised by my single mother. Alth...

06/22/2019

IN THE MIX SPOTLIGHT with Christine Vartoughian

christine is a queens native and a first-generation american. she was raised by armenian parents who were also refugees from communist romania. christine now works as a writer/actor/director based in new york city.
we asked her: have you ever experienced someone making assumptions about your background (race, ethnicity, culture, nationality, etc.). if so, what kind of assumptions were made and how did you deal with this? .
"When I first visited Savannah, Georgia to see if I wanted to attend film school there, I got into a cab to take me downtown and the driver asked me where I was from. “New York!” “But where are you from?” And I thought he just wanted me to be more specific so I said, “I’m from Queens,” and he goes, “No- where are you FROM? What nationality?” I told him I’m Armenian and I got the response I often get which is, “What’s that?” “Umm, it’s a small country next to Greece.” And the driver just goes, “Oh, yeah, I could tell by looking at you that you were some kind of Middle Eastern.” It was said in a cold, aggressive way and he didn’t ask me any other questions after that so I remained quiet for the rest of the ride, which thankfully wasn’t long. I try not to take these things personally and brushed it off as unintentional ignorance. As they say in the South, “bless his heart.”

To read more, visit https://mxdflz.com/vartoughian

06/20/2019

welcome to the MXDFLZ page!

mxdflz (mixed-feels) is an intimately collaborative effort between artists and thinkers to creatively honor, respect, and express the unique stories of those who are [mxd].

to find out more, please visit our website at https://mxdflz.com/

for all collaboration inquiries, please send us a DM or an email here: https://mxdflz.com/contact

-kruze and unco dan

06/20/2019

IN THE MIX SPOTLIGHT with Christine Vartoughian

christine is a native and a first-generation american. she was raised by parents who were also from communist . christine now works as a / /
based in new york city.
we asked her: what are some challenges that first and second generation americans face when it comes to navigating personal ? and what challenges did you face personally? .
"I never really felt completely American or completely Armenian, and I still don’t. I still feel a little strange saying that I’m American because I feel like that’s leaving out a huge part of my foundation which is Armenian, but then people challenge me when I say I’m Armenian by saying that I am a US so that makes me American and not Armenian. Figuring out how to combine and navigate and be tolerant of the Armenian and Romanian with the “American” culture is sometimes tricky for me, especially when it comes to people expectations or preconceived ideas about me."
To read more, visit https://mxdflz.com/vartoughian

06/19/2019

IN THE MIX SPOTLIGHT with Christine Vartoughian

christine is a / / . her first , "living with the dead: a love story" is on amazon prime and itunes. it touches on the experience and the pressure parents put on their children to succeed.
on our website we define [mxd] subjects as being "in perpetual flows and shifts between a multiplicity of personas, positions, and points of interconnection". in what way do you consider yourself to be a [mxd] subject? in other words, how does complexity fit into your personal identity? or, how do you dis-identify with labels that people impose on you?:
"I love this description you use and I think that this ties in to my challenges because there are values and traditions that are instilled in me that are uniquely , but then growing up in and especially New York, made me the independent, progressive, uncensored person that I truly am. Certain Armenian don’t fit me- I’m not religious, I’m not in an LA gang, and I’m not great at chess. The thing about being Armenian though, is that so few people even know Armenia exists, much less the stereotypes for that .
To read more, visit: https://mxdflz.com/vartoughian