15/11/2025
I got baptized (again) today⌠but this time, I understood it.
When I got baptized at 17, I meant well, but I didnât grasp the weight of what I was doing. I hadnât lived enough life to understand my own sin nature, what needed to die in me, or what it truly meant to surrender. Honestly, I just didnât want to feel left out while everyone else was doing it.
Then in 2020, right in the middle of the pandemic, I rededicated my life to God and the last five years have changed me. I went from memorizing scripture to actually living it. From knowing of Jesus to knowing Him personally. And if Iâm being real⌠I didnât come willingly. Iâm a recovering control freak who really thought I could do life on my own terms. But life humbled me, and God kept loving me. I realized I couldnât do life without Him and now I donât want to.
I didnât think I needed to get baptized again, but one day as mentioned it, conviction hit me. I knew this time had to be for me. Not for people. Not for appearances. Not for pride. My thoughts tried to talk me out of it, but God reminded me: HIS voice is the only one that matters. The enemy has had too much room in my mind, and that ends today.
So I went into that water and left EVERYTHING behind â the guilt, the shame, the perfectionism, the version of myself I kept trying to cling to that was quietly killing me. Jesus already put all of it to death on the cross. And when He rose, we rose with Him⌠with power and victory.
But the moment that really broke me⌠was when I came up out of the water and saw my 4-year-old baby jumping up and down, yelling, âMommy you did a great job baptizing!â The excitement on his face was justâŚđĽš
In that moment, I realized this wasnât just about me. This is about my son. His children. And their children. This is about breaking cycles. This is about building a legacy of faith. This is about showing him what a real walk with Christ looks like, so he doesnât have to fight the same battles I did.
And the whole time, I kept hearing the words spoken over Jesus: âThis is my beloved son, in whom I am well pleased.â Except today, I felt God whispering it over me. â¤ď¸âď¸