12/20/2023
One aspect that I find particularly disheartening about my experience with bipolar disorder, or simply having a mental illness, is the unfortunate tendency of individuals such as my grandfather and mother to exploit it as a means of punishing me. They resort to fabricating falsehoods about me to law enforcement authorities, resulting in my confinement either in a mental health facility or in jail. Regrettably, the police consistently lend credence to their claims over my own. I cannot begin to express the frequency with which this distressing scenario has unfolded in my life. In fact, it occurred once again today, as a consequence of my efforts to instill honesty in my child. My grandfather consistently interferes with my parenting, making subtle remarks designed to provoke my agitation or anger. He then exacerbates the situation and attributes it to my bipolar disorder, labeling it as a manifestation of mania. I am perpetually placed in a precarious position, where my freedom is at stake, simply because he disagrees with my approach to a particular situation involving my daughter. I must exercise great caution, for any reaction or action that fails to meet his approval is met with threats of dire consequences. The challenges I confront on a daily basis, coupled with the lack of understanding and support from my family, engender a profound sense of injustice in my life. I feel utterly alone and misunderstood, a sentiment that only serves to compound my frustration. My family, regrettably, fails to grasp the true nature of my illness, choosing instead to attribute my behavior to it only when it suits their purposes. My grandfather, in particular, never assumes responsibility for his hurtful words or actions against me; he consistently seeks to rationalize them. This constitutes a form of mental abuse, one that my family manages to perpetrate with impunity.
