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04/03/2024

“And the last thought he had that morning as he closed his eyes was: I hope the tornado hit the moose.”

04/03/2024

“Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.”

04/02/2024

“If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the up button.”

04/02/2024

“She's strong! And scary...I bet she's single...I'd put money on it..”

04/02/2024

I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.”

04/02/2024

“If you’re too open-minded; your brains will fall out.”

04/02/2024

"Are you really living life or just paying bills until you die?"

03/28/2024

"In your arms, I've found my home. 🏡💕"

03/26/2024

"Every setback is a setup for a comeback. Keep going! 💫"

03/26/2024

"If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito."

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