“Don’t you remember?” They are three common words. Yet, when spoken too often, they’re cause for alar Yet, when spoken too often, they’re cause for alarm.
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When your loved ones begin their journey into dementia, your own life-altering pilgrimage is set in motion. The path holds countless challenges including grief, despair, and joy: often all in a single day. The fear of not knowing what to do first can be overwhelming. For me, being proactive instead of reactive was empowering. Through these podcasts, I hope to give you tools in the form of resource
s and shared experiences, so that you realize you’re not alone. I’m Theba. For the past 25 years, I have worked in TV News. I’m also the daughter of parents who lived in two different states, Illinois and Arkansas, when each were diagnosed with dementia in the same year. I entered into a season of intense anxiety and helplessness. I’d seen a few movies about older adults having memory problems and the sadness and difficulties their families faced, but I felt far removed from that reality. In my family, cancer and old age claimed my relatives. The word dementia was new to me until an aggressive form of the disease took my father. Today I am the sole caregiver for my mother who is living with Alzheimer’s. Though very difficult, the struggles of caring for parents with dementia have also revealed great joy! I started sharing my experiences on television during the pandemic of 2020. In my heart, I knew there were many just like me, trying to understand and adapt to caring for a loved one. The people I’ve met along the way have offered life-changing advice and support. My mission now is to encourage you on your journey. I know God has been my strength and hope along the way and has led me to this new season of sharing so that you too can find comfort from those who do remember.
Though I'm taking a break from recording my podcast - there are 60+ episodes on my website to choose from. I know many are experiencing family concerns and it is scary when you don't know what to do first. I always say first, reach out to Alzheimer's Association - Arkansas Chapter or Alzheimer's Arkansas. The podcast has a wide variety of subjects of support for caregivers. https://www.dontyouremember.net/
Informative article for caregivers. I do identify with the confusion of my own behavior. Trying to be patient and cooperative with my mom's inability to be a normal communicative adult. And, I do understand the NEED to connect with others on a regular bases. When I do, it's as if I'm learning how to communicate with normality and sensibility. But my friends understand and just let me chatter away sharing this and that - trying to be relatable. I can feel myself struggling at the beginning of interactions. I do this quick download of information as if time is running out. Thankfully, they offer me grace and I eventually settle down and feel normal, somewhat.
"Most caregivers of people with Alzheimer’s find themselves behaving in ways they know are counterproductive. The disease affects their brains, too."
"Cathy knew, of course, that she shouldn’t argue, that it was pointless to use logic and contradict her husband, but she couldn’t help herself."
"The vast majority of caregivers know full well that their spouses or parents are ill, yet they still behave in ways they know are counterproductive: arguing, blaming, insisting on reality, and taking symptoms personally."
Most caregivers of people with Alzheimer’s find themselves behaving in ways they know are counterproductive. The disease affects their brains, too
Yesterday at the Alzheimer's Arkansas Caregivers Workshop I sat through an hour and a half of Dr. Pippenger's presentation. It was packed with heady valuable info about the complexities of dementia. He was at UAMS and now works at Baptist Health Memory Clinic in NLR. He is considered one the leading behavior neurologist in the state. He diagnosed my dad with lewy body dementia. A couple of things really stood out for me - making sense. One was a shock and the other was clarification of what I suspected. First, mom had Alzheimer's years prior to her diagnosis in 2017 - could be up 10 years prior. Amyloid plaques are forming way before you start start noticing weird and scary things. Meaning Alzheimer's doesn't happen suddenly. Second, he answered a question I had about trauma escalating the disease. In 2016, mom's sister died suddenly crushing mom with deep sadness. That's when the symptoms I already noticed over the years advanced substantially. He confirmed, it can. Heck I remember telling my co-workers and friends concerns I had about mom's behavior and memory probably around 2014ish. Anyway, presently I'm working on editing video for Youtube of Dr, Peppenger's presentation to help you understand some of the explanations and challenges of diagnosing the diseases caused by the syndrome of dementia.
Taking time off from recording my podcast to focus on momma. But, there are 60+ episodes for you on my website.
"Don't you remember?" They are three common words. Yet, when spoken too often, they’re cause for alarm. When your loved ones begin their journey into dementia, your own life-altering pilgrimage is set in motion. The path holds countless challenges...
Day 5 of Dementia Awareness Week. I've been sharing each day an incident/event at the very early stage of our journey, before Alzheimer's diagnoses, that caused intense anxiety and fear for the both of us. Today to end the week, I wanted to share the most important thing I learned attending caregiver support group. It is why I named my podcast Don't You Remember?, which I'm not recording presently. "Don't you remember?" They are three common words. Yet, when spoken too often, they’re cause for alarm. When your loved ones begin their journey into dementia, your own life-altering pilgrimage is set in motion. If you can limit saying this and "I've already told you," you can create a less stressful atmosphere for you and your loved one. It will take some time, so give yourself some grace. It's understandable you'll find yourself saying this a lot out of your own fear and confusion regarding your loved ones changes. But, it reenforces anxiety for them and they may not share much needed info with you. They already know something is not right. Reality is they don't remember, so work on answering them as if you haven't already done so with kindness and patience. If interested in previous episodes of my podcast go to https://www.dontyouremember.net/.
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A new study in worms reveals a core set of insoluble proteins linked to both aging and Alzheimer's disease.
Day 4 of Dementia Awareness Week. I'm sharing each day an incident/event at the very early stage of our journey, before Alzheimer's diagnoses, that caused intense anxiety and fear for the both of us. I mentioned panic attacks and the inability to maintain check book and paying bills. My mother's sister - her bestie - died in 2016. They were about to go on a trip together and she died after a blood clot issue. Grateful mom was with her, but it was a massive hit to mom emotionally. After this loss mom's confusion and disorientation increased. Yes, I could gather because of intense grief, but couldn't just leave it there based on other issues I'd experience years before. One day in 2017, mom asked me, "Theba, is Faye dead?" This was the point that I knew something more substantial was happening to mom. Mom's dementia symptoms increased dramatically after this loss. An exhilaration of events would follow, so I was to I began a more aggressive plan to get her tested for an official diagnosis, so could begin a plan of action. I signed up for Alzheimer's classes and got into support group. What I instinctively knew is I needed to limit her anxiety about JUST living. I would need to make personal life changes that would help us both. If you have concerns about a loved a one, reach out to Alzheimer's Arkansas or Alzheimer's Association - Arkansas Chapter.
Day 3 of Dementia Awareness Week. I'm sharing each day an incident/event at the very early stage of our journey, before Alzheimer's diagnoses, that caused intense anxiety and fear for the both of us. Mom, Saturday and her check book. She prided herself on balancing her check book every Saturday - never late on paying bills either. But, Saturday's were beginning to be filled with tantrums, cause she couldn't do it and would give up angry. Soon I started to print out her statement to assist her, but to no avail. This concerned me so I started looking through her stack of bills and noticed some weren't even opened and close to being late. I told her we could start paying online - it was the new way! She was reluctant and paranoid, but surrendered slowly. This gave me the opportunity to gain control over something she was apparently losing control over. I stopped bills from being sent to the house. This was so helpful. Out of sight - out of mind. Now, it took some time to free her from this burden, but overtime she appeared relieved and I certainly was. I would say this was the most telling situation for me to realize this was more than cognitive memory impairment. Thus, it began my research into possible dementia, which scared me to death. If you have concerns or questions concerning a loved ones behavior or personality changes call Alzheimer's Association - Arkansas Chapter or Alzheimer's Arkansas. They will help you start the conversation.
Day 2 of Dementia Awareness Week. I want to share each day an incident/event at the very early stage of our journey, before Alzheimer's diagnoses, that caused intense anxiety and fear for the both of us. Again, not sure, but could have been 2014 or 2015 - I was at work when mom called from her car in a panic, cause she was lost going to doctor office. A city she's lived in for over 40 years. It upset her so bad she just went home and I drove home to meet her to help calm her down and try and figure out what happened. As I mentioned yesterday, you have to assume at this point of stress they're struggling in more ways than letting on. The point of this example is accept - this is probably not a one-off, and that the only reason you know about it is the intensity of the event. Once you have a couple of these episodes you start to really pay attention to the smallest of hiccups and mishaps - they will add up. If you have concerns about your loved ones behavior and or personality changes call either Alzheimer's Association - Arkansas Chapter or Alzheimer's Arkansas. They will help you begin the conversation with your loved one, other family members and their doctor.
Day 1 of Dementia Awareness Week. I want to share each day an incident/event at the very early stage of our journey, before Alzheimer's diagnoses, that caused intense anxiety for mom and great fear for me. Maybe it was 2014 or 2015, but one day while I was at work she called in a panic saying someone broke into the house and drank a coke. She had just gotten out of the shower walked into the kitchen to find a coke can on the table, but all the doors were locked. Mom was having a full blown panic attack. I did not believe someone had broke into the house, and it was obvious she did not believe it either. As I tried to calm her down she kept saying. "Theba what is wrong with me?" I raced home having my own panic attack. There had been odd things prior, but this one raised her awareness to such a level - she had to involve me. To be honest, I thought she'd had a stroke and so we went that direction with the doctor and got a scan etc. Nothing wrong there, so I was scratching my head - what is happening to mom? This incident highlighted how Alzheimer's was effecting her short term memory. And in the beginning these particular events will have your loved one really scared, cause they know somethings not right. Many times they will not share things with you out of fear. Be as patient and calm as you can be - I was not, but then again I was clueless about dementia. If you have questions - reach out to Alzheimer's Arkansas and Alzheimer's Association - Arkansas Chapter.
Next week is Dementia Awareness Week - May 13-19. Starting Monday I will post a few events/episodes early on in our journey that caused intense anxiety for mom and alarmed me greatly. The point is to highlight some issues that at first her doctor termed - Cognitive Memory Impairment before leading to our final diagnoses of Alzheimer's. Everyones experience is different, but the misunderstandings and fears are relatively the same. If you suspect a loved one might be having cognitive memory troubles - share your concerns with Alzheimer's Association - Arkansas Chapter or Alzheimer's Arkansas. They have the insight and advice and how to approach your loved one and their doctor. It is a bumpy ride at the beginning, but gets a tad easier with knowledge
Revisiting a story from May 2023, mom's birthday month. While watching this again, I can see how she's physically changed in a year. She would not be able to navigate the backyard today and has lost a bunch of weight. BUT, her joy for life is still if not more vibrant. If you are a caregiver, please know there is support for you and your family. Alzheimer's Association - Arkansas Chapter, Alzheimer's Arkansas, Hospice Home Care, First Choice Senior Care and more.
Alzheimer’s is slowly starting to take over Barbara Lolley’s life. Her routine is changing, and her memories are slowly slipping away.
I'm taking the summer off from recording podcast. Here are all my episodes thus far.
"Don't you remember?" They are three common words. Yet, when spoken too often, they’re cause for alarm. When your loved ones begin their journey into dementia, your own life-altering pilgrimage is set in motion. The path holds countless challenges...
The hardest part about Alzheimer's disease is the ups and downs they have both physically and mentally. One day they can't leave the bed or walk straight, cause they're so wiped out and confused - then next day, "Hey, I've got to go outside and pick up leaves," with joy in her heart. The emotional shift for the caregiver...well...can wipe me out too somedays. But, I have friends who've been through the process like Betsy Broyles Arnold that I can lean on for guidance. She gave me some great insight, clarity and support today, cause the problem for caregivers is second guessing their decisions. There was not one thing I shared with her today that she could not relate to and had a suggestion or encouragement. Most important was prayer. Betsy has a great resource for caregivers - https://broylesfoundation.org/playbook/
Recorded my last podcast for my Youtube channel where I store some of my fun and significant memories. Carolyn and I discuss why I'm pausing the Don't You Remember? Podcast for a season or two. And, we celebrate the start of her new podcast for Alzheimer's Arkansas - "I Didn't Sign Up For This." Life is full of shifts/transitions and I have and will fully trust in God's leading, but will always be full of nervous inquires, but He's use to that. ☺
This is my last podcast for a season or two as I focus more on my mom's needs and care. Of course, I wanted my last episode to feature my mentor and friend C...
I asked Hospice Home Care to do a podcast takeover because this is such an important subject - understanding hospice and palliative care. I recently signed mom up for palliative care as her Alzheimer's progresses and is now experiencing some physical complications. Sam and Jared do a great job explaining the positive aspects and misunderstandings about hospice. Thank you to them both for their passion and service. https://www.buzzsprout.com/1824623/14557302
WOWZA! Thank you for sharing this info with me Lara Woloszyn. I sure would love to have someone talk about this on my podcast - can you make that happen young lady? 😍
LITTLE ROCK — A potential new drug to prevent Alzheimer’s disease in people with the so-called Alzheimer’s gene has been discovered by a University of Arkansas for Medical Sciences (UAMS) research team led by Sue Griffin, Ph.D. The findings were published Jan. 8 in Communications Biology and i...
Last week on my podcast we touched on the subject of hospice and when to engage when a loved one enters last stage of Alzheimer's. Understand the last stage can last years - depending on the kind of dementia. When caring for our father my brother and I were not aware of the hospice role. Not until dad was in a "terminal agitated" state - a term we were not as familiar with either - did we learn of how important hospice expertise was. Now dad had a very aggressive form of dementia (lewy body), so end of life came dramatically sudden. If I had understood hospice and palliative care I would have had them engaged a lot sooner for dad. Nevertheless, I understand now, so that is why I have mom signed up to receive palliative medical care. It is meant to enhance a person's current care by focusing on quality of life for them and their family. The reason this is so important to me is I can focus on mom's behavior changes as it relates to Alzheimer's and the nurse who visits mom once a month can focus on her physical changes due to medical issues related or unrelated to her disease. Obviously, focused on things I'm not equipped to do or recognised. Having this partnership is so comforting to me, and less trips for mom to doctors office, cause I'm in a panic about something. My upcoming Don't You Remember? Podcast (the week of Feb 12th) will feature two representatives from Hospice Home Care who will go into detail about how palliative care works and when to move into hospice care. The more you know about the resources available the more empowered and calmer you are. And for me, who leans toward being hyper anxious is a major blessing
The word hospice conjures up all sort of hard emotions, but it is an important part of care, not only for your loved one but you. It's never too early to incorporate their expertise, because as Carolyn Berry shares, "they see and understand things you cannot in the last stages of Alzheimer's." If I had understood their role when caring for dad we would have called them a lot sooner. Now that I know I will begin hospice care engagement for mom, so we have all fronts covered to assure the best quality of care. In this episode of my Don't You Remember? Podcast we talk about hospice care, mom's significant changes, my personal responses and adjustments to the disease, and the importance of respite care for caregivers. Hear conversation here and share - https://www.buzzsprout.com/1824623/14417144
Support groups for caregivers is a lifeline you must do for yourself and your loved one. Sandra Gearing Rogers was one of the facilitators of my group and we've remained friends ever since. Just like many do, I walked into my first meeting scared and desperate when both my parents were diagnosed with dementia and just in my first meeting I left empowered. You can reach out to both Alzheimer's Arkansas and Alzheimer's Association - Arkansas Chapter for a list of support groups. Latest Don't You Remember? Podcast here - https://www.buzzsprout.com/1824623/14288290
A good, but difficult discussion about the last stage of Alzheimer's. Where you go from dealing with memory issues affecting daily decisions and needs to debilitating physical issues. Carolyn Berry with Alzheimer's Arkansas always so tender with painting a picture about this hateful disease. New Don't You Remember? Podcast here - https://www.buzzsprout.com/1824623/14170350
If you like to watch my Don't You Remember? Podcast on Youtube then you got to enjoy some surprise appearances by the mischievous momma Lolleygagger. Thank you David Cook for all the hard work you do for Arkansas caregivers of loved ones living with Alzheimer's. Alzheimer's Association - Arkansas Chapter.
A look back at the 2023 successes. David Cook is the Public Policy Director at the Alzheimer's Association - Arkansas Chapter. In this role, he oversees the ...
I talk with Alzheimer's Association - Arkansas Chapter Director of Public Policy, David Cook, about 2023 successes and the priorities for 2024. David is very passionate about this health crisis, because his father has dementia. He knows first hand what we are all dealing with, so be assured caregivers, we're not alone.
Latest episode here - https://www.buzzsprout.com/1824623/14102932
Join us for an important discussion regarding how to handle the holiday excitement when caring for someone with Alzheimer's. Carolyn Berry with Alzheimer's Arkansas
On this segment, Carolyn and I talk about how important it is to have a holiday plan. Carolyn Berry currently serves as the Director of Education at Alzheim...
Prepare for the holidays now!
#056. On this segment, Carolyn and I talk about how important it is to have a holiday plan. Carolyn Berry currently serves as the Director of Education at Alzheimer’s Arkansas. Her experience has been shaped through working with ...
Caregiving support.
Join Carolyn Berry and I for a very important conversation about your mental health as a caregiver. Alzheimer's Arkansas
#054. On this segment, Carolyn and I talk about how important it is to take care of your mental health and lowering expectations. Carolyn Berry currently serves as the Director of Education at Alzheimer’s Arkansas. Her experience has been sh...
Your loved with Alzheimer's might act like a toddler, but remember they're emotionally intelligent. New episode. https://www.buzzsprout.com/1824623/13550563
Important to process this question and then answer for yourself.
#052. On this segment, Carolyn and I talk about trying to describe yourself as a caregiver. It's complicated. Carolyn Berry currently serves as the Director of Education at Alzheimer’s Arkansas. Her experience has been shaped through ...
Join me as I chat with my mentor and dear friend Carolyn Berry with Alzheimer's Arkansas.
#050. On this segment, Carolyn and I talk about a dangerous tree that I was angry about revealing something more about my caregiving anxiety. Carolyn Berry currently serves as the Director of Education at Alzheimer’s Arkansas. Her experienc...
Little Rock, AR
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It was a good year. God is faithful. https://www.dontyouremember.net/
Latest podcast guest Kayla Thomas Bogle with First Choice Senior Care.
Join my podcast discussion with David Cook. This is a tease on some of what you'll hear. And please visit my website for more resources www.dontyouremember.online
If you or someone you know is embarking on caring for a loved one with dementia then my hope is this podcast will be helpful, encouraging or comforting.
These lovely ladies of Hospice Home Care will be featured on The Vine Monday.
Listen to the latest podcast right here on this page. Here is a sneak peek of my guest David Cook - Public Policy Manager for Alzheimer's Association - Arkansas Chapter.
Once my parents were diagnosed with dementia I was a scared little girl who needed her Heavenly Father desperately. Listen to full podcast episode here - https://www.dontyouremember.net/.
If you or someone you know is caring for a loved one with dementia then I hope my new podcast can help ease some of the fear and confusion. https://www.dontyouremember.net
Sips On The Rock - Podcast - Little Rock, AR
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