SCENE Vegas, Las Vegas, NV (2024)

01/03/2024

Journey Of Trust

My feelings are too loud for words and too shyly strong for the world.

It is beautiful to express love and even more beautiful to feel it. Don’t allow your mind to tell your heart what to do. The mind gives up easily. If you spend your life sparing people’s feelings and feeding their vanity, you get so you can’t distinguish what should be respected in them. To hide feelings when you are near crying is the not the secret of dignity but the polar opposite. Never apologize for showing your feelings. When you do, you are apologizing for the truth. Sensitive people usually love deeply and hate even deeper. They don’t know any other way to live than by extremes because their emotional thermostat is broken. A feeling is no longer the same when it comes the second time. It dies through the awareness of its return. We become tired and weary of our feelings when they come too often and last too long. Our feelings are our most genuine paths to knowledge.

Is it really possible to tell someone else what one feels? We try so hard to hide everything we’re really feeling from those who probably need to know our true feelings the most. People try to bottle up their emotions, as if it’s somehow wrong to have natural reactions to life. Everyone is afraid of something. We fear things because we value them. We fear losing people because we love them. We fear dying because we value being alive. Don’t wish you didn’t fear anything. All that would mean is that you didn’t feel anything. That was one of the saddest things about people their most important thoughts and feelings often went unspoken and barely understood. Smiles and tears are so alike with me, they are neither of them confined to any particular feelings: I often cry when I am happy, and smile when I am sad.

Because I trust in the ever changing climate of the heart. I think it is necessary to have many experiences for the sake of feeling something; for the sake of being challenged, and for the sake of being expressive, to offer something to someone else, to learn what we are capable of. There’s nothing more inspiring than the complexity and beauty of the human heart. You learned to run from what you feel, and that’s why you have nightmares. To deny is to invite madness. To accept is to control. Feelings do not grow old along with the body. Feelings form part of a world I don’t know, but it’s a world where there’s no time, no space, no frontiers. What man ever openly apologizes for slander? It is not so much a feeling of slander as it is that of a massive lie, a misdeed not only to the slandered but also to those manipulated in the process.

Over the years, I have come to realize that the greatest trap in our life is not success, popularity, or power, but self-rejection. Success, popularity, and power can indeed present a great temptation, but their seductive quality often comes from the way they are part of the much larger temptation to self-rejection. When we have come to believe in the voices that call us worthless and unlovable, then success, popularity, and power are easily perceived as attractive solutions. The real trap, however, is self-rejection. We experience ourselves our thoughts and feelings as something separate from the rest. A kind of optical delusion of consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us.

The belief that unhappiness is selfless and happiness is selfish is misguided. It’s more selfless to act happy. It takes energy, generosity, and discipline to be unfailingly lighthearted, yet everyone takes the happy person for granted. No one is careful of his feelings or tries to keep his spirits high. He seems self-sufficient; he becomes a cushion for others. And because happiness seems unforced, that person usually gets no credit. Traumatized people chronically feel unsafe inside their bodies: The past is alive in the form of gnawing interior discomfort. Their bodies are constantly bombarded by visceral warning signs, and, in an attempt to control these processes, they often become expert at ignoring their gut feelings and in numbing awareness of what is played out inside. They learn to hide from their selves.

Emotions come and go and can’t be controlled so there’s no reason to worry about them. That in the end, people should be judged by their actions since in the end it was actions that defined everyone. If you’re searching for a quote that puts your feelings into words you won’t find it. You can learn every language and read every word ever written but you’ll never find what’s in your heart. Inside of all of us there is the need and the desire to be heard, to have our innermost thoughts, feelings and desires expressed for others to hear, to see and to understand. We all want to matter to someone, to leave a mark. Ask yourself, does this person make me feel good about myself? Do I feel safe, strong and free with this person? Those are the questions you need to ask.You have to be strong to truly be open. And empty words are evil

Feelings are never stupid, they just make us feel stupid sometimes.

01/03/2024

The Gospel Truth

People will reveal who they are if you just pay attention.

Society cannot function if it is every man for himself. By definition, civilization cannot survive that. Those in authority must retain the public's trust. The way to do that is to distort nothing, to put the best face on nothing, to try to manipulate no one. We Have wasted a fair portion of our life trusting the untrustworthy and paying respect to the ones who hate us the most and loving the wrong ones .and staying away from the opposite of that. We humans are always seeking inspiration, motivation, and strength from outside elements, which actually takes us away from our inner strengths and abilities. When we try to develop an understanding of things we can do and the powers we have, we will have several revelations about our real self. If you take a chance, so will others on you.

Pride and shame are two sides of the same coin, a coin which is only issued by "The Bank of Fear", a coin to be used in the singular purpose of purchasing chains that would imprison one’s Soul and delay inevitable perfection. Even the most vulnerable person can come across as intimidating, it all depends on how one carries themselves. A bully can be quite intimidating, even though they are really acting out from insecurities. Challenges come unannounced and uninvited. They often catch us by surprise. They may even take our breath away and cause confusion. But they can also help us develop perseverance, determination, courage, optimism, trust, and faith; none of which will grow without some serious obstacles. For what it's worth, you're about as much of a figurehead CEO as the man behind the curtain in Oz. I don’t trust anyone who hides in the light denying darkness exists.

The most empowering act we can do is to be real ,to tell the truth and to be free of anything that holds us back. That freedom unburdens our shoulders and allows us to move forward in our journey to greatness. Not all your family or friends will be happy when you succeed, nor will everyone be saddened when you lose; so, be careful with whom you're sharing your personal business. Encouragement makes us believe we can move forward, but it also gives us the power to help others move forward. Sometimes we can only find our true direction when we let the wind of change carry us. Life isn't about winning or losing; it's about getting up and trying again.

How do you know that you're a person, distinct from other people? By keeping certain things to yourself. You guard them inside you, because, if you don't, there's no distinction between inside and outside. Secrets are the way you know you even have an inside. True freedom is the willingness for life to be as it is, no matter how it appears. The you must be there for the I to find itself. Trust in you gives me trust in myself. In the encounter between the you and the I, faith is born. I am so truly I because I have faith in you. Only the I that comes about through faith can have faith. Operate less from a place of force and more from a place of trust. Trust the unknown. Trust yourself. Let go of searching for answers and the answers will appear.

It is the wise man who can thoroughly examine and entertain a thought without feeling required to act on it. There is only one way for a man to truly fail, and that is by blaming his setback on another man. Only myself and my Creator knows when I've done my best. Anyone else that tries to judge on that matter is a fool. We all have an innate desire to feel important, be special, and feel appreciated. Considering the universal drive to have those needs met, it is one of your best ways to move past making a positive first impression and turn it into a lasting one.

In the grand scheme of things, everything has a tendency to fall back in place eventually. So just trust the process and know that when it seem to be falling apart, it is actually falling in place. People generally cannot be trusted, especially in my profession where trust is such a rarity that it’s not worth wasting the time and effort searching for it. Even when told to trust no one, the truth is no one is comfortable around people they cannot trust.

Like a tiger trapped in a cage that has no bars, so I am held captive by my imagined scars. — at SCENE Chicago.

01/03/2024

Laughter Coach, What A Joke

Anger, resentment and jealousy doesn't change the heart of others-- it only changes yours.

I am convinced that the jealous, the angry, the bitterly racist and the egotistical are the first to race to the top of mountains. A confident person enjoys the journey, the people they meet along the way and sees life not as a competition. They reach the summit last because they know God isn’t at the top waiting for them. He is down below helping his followers to understand that the view is glorious where ever you stand. Insecure people only eclipse your sun because they’re jealous of your daylight and tired of their dark, starless nights. Jacci, Jealousy’s a weaker person's emotion. Envy is for people who don’t have the self-esteem to be jealous. There will always be haters. And the more I grow the more they hate; the more they hate the more I grow.

Jealousy is a disease, love is a healthy condition. The immature mind often mistakes one for the other, or assumes that the greater the love, the greater the jealousy - in fact, they are almost incompatible; one emotion hardly leaves room for the other. When emerging from humble beginnings, those around you tend to underestimate your authenticity because they knew you before you were 'somebody'.Love" is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own Lady J Andersen. Humans are suspicious and jealous creatures. When they see something perfect, they want to find a flaw. In jealousy there is more of self-love than love. Beware of those who criticize you when you deserve some praise for an achievement, for it is they who secretly desire to be worshiped.

Gossip is just a tool to distract people who have nothing better to do from feeling jealous of those few of us still remaining with noble hearts. The only thing more frustrating than slanderers is those foolish enough to listen to them. A lot of people get so hung up on what they can't have that they don't think for a second about whether they really want it. Most haters are stuck in a poisonous mental prison of jealousy and self-doubt that blinds them to their own potentiality.

Jacci, A person shows signs of clutching on too fast, of being needy, of not hearing the word "no," of jealousy, of guarding you and your freedom. But the signs can be so small they skitter right past you. Sometimes they dance past, looking satiny, something you should applaud. Someone's jealousy can make you feel good. Special. But it's not even about you. It's about a hand that is already gripping. It's about their need, circling around your throat. Jealousy is never satisfied with anything short of an omniscience that would detect the subtlest fold of the heart. The moment you have to recruit people to put another person down, in order to convince someone of your value is the day you dishonor your children, your parents and your God. If someone doesn't see your worth the problem is them, not people outside your relationship.

There will always be someone willing to hurt you, put you down, gossip about you, belittle your accomplishments and judge your soul. It is a fact that we all must face. However, if you realize that God is a best friend that stands beside you when others cast stones you will never be afraid, never feel worthless and never feel alone.If you swim effortlessly in the deep oceans, ride the waves to and from the shore, if you can breathe under water and dine on the deep treasures of the seas; mark my words, those who dwell on the rocks carrying nets will try to reel you into their catch. The last thing they want is for you to thrive in your habitat because they stand in their atmosphere where they beg and gasp for some air.

Jacci, The number of chances you give someone doesn't tell the world how loving you are without telling them how desperate you are to believe they care as much as you. True love resides in the first chance, stupidity in the second, opportunists in the third and scoundrels in the fourth. Trifles light as air are to the jealous confirmations strong as proofs of holy writ. Whenever you should doubt your self-worth, remember the lotus flower. Even though it plunges to life from beneath the mud, it does not allow the dirt that surrounds it to affect its growth or beauty. I am certain, Jealousy has always been your cross, the weakness and woundedness in you that has most often caused one to feel ugly and unlovable, like the Bad Seed you are. Jealousy is an ugly emotion that makes people such as yourself do some seriously whacked s**t and when a Andersen is experiencing it, it's worse.

I refused to believe that love could take any other form than mine: I measured love by the extent of your jealousy, and by that standard of course she could not love herself at all. One of the most powerful lessons in life is to recognize that no one can give you power, and many people don’t want you to have it. You have to find the courage to seize it, own it and hold on. Jacci, Jealousy, hate, and vindictiveness blurs the focus. Beware of those who are bitter, for they will never allow you to enjoy your fruit. Envy suggests and solidifies your inferiority.

The lovesick, racist, those who pretend to have been betrayed, and the jealous all smell alike.

01/03/2024

Rise To The Occasion

The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.

When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy. Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy. Sorrow prepares you for joy. It violently sweeps everything out of your house, so that new joy can find space to enter. It shakes the yellow leaves from the bough of your heart, so that fresh, green leaves can grow in their place. It pulls up the rotten roots, so that new roots hidden beneath have room to grow. Whatever sorrow shakes from your heart, far better things will take their place. Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity. It is the source of hope, empathy, accountability, and authenticity. If we want greater clarity in our purpose or deeper and more meaningful spiritual lives, vulnerability is the path.

They say a person needs just three things to be truly happy in this world: someone to love, something to do, and something to hope for. Without pain, how could we know joy?' This is an old argument in the field of thinking about suffering and its stupidity and lack of sophistication could be plumbed for centuries but suffice it to say that the existence of broccoli does not, in any way, affect the taste of chocolate. If we can just let go and trust that things will work out they way they're supposed to, without trying to control the outcome, then we can begin to enjoy the moment more fully. The joy of the freedom it brings becomes more pleasurable than the experience itself. When you are joyful, when you say yes to life and have fun and project positivity all around you, you become a sun in the center of every constellation, and people want to be near you. Stress isn't only a joy stealer. The way we respond to it can be sin. The essence of life is not in the great victories and grand failures, but in the simple joys.

It’s important that what thoughts you are feeding into your mind because your thoughts create your belief and experiences. You have positive thoughts and you have negative ones too. Nurture your mind with positive thoughts: kindness, empathy, compassion, peace, love, joy, humility, generosity, etc. The more you feed your mind with positive thoughts, the more you can attract great things into your life. We are not going to change the whole world, but we can change ourselves and feel free as birds. We can be serene even in the midst of calamities and, by our serenity, make others more tranquil. Serenity is contagious. If we smile at someone, he or she will smile back. And a smile costs nothing. We should plague everyone with joy. If we are to die in a minute, why not die happily, laughing? Happiness is part of who we are. Joy is the feeling.

The life of Man is a long march through the night, surrounded by invisible foes, tortured by weariness and pain, towards a goal that few can hope to reach, and where none may tarry long. One by one, as they march, our comrades vanish form our sight, seized by the silent orders of omnipotent Death. Very brief is the time in which we can help them, in which their happiness or misery is decided. Be it ours to shed sunshine on their path, to lighten their sorrows by the balm of sympathy, to give them the pure joy of a never-tiring affection, to strengthen failing courage, to instill faith in times of despair. When we lay the soil of our hard lives open to the rain of grace and let joy pe*****te our cracked and dry places, let joy soak into our broken skin and deep crevices, life grows. How can this not be the best thing for the world? For us?

If the doom of failure stifles some time the path of our life, it can pin us down like downtrodden aliens, while, meanwhile, the world around is erupting in joy and contentment. Let's go back then to the nuts and bolts and consult the core of our inner self. You push the truth off a cliff, but it will always fly. You can submerge the truth under water, but it will not drown. You can place the truth in the fire, but it will survive. You can bury the truth beneath the ground, but it will arise. truth always prevails. Embrace fanaticism. Harness joy by pursuing insane interests, consuming passions, and constant sources of gratification that do not depend on the approval of others. For one wild, glad moment snap the chain that binds us to earth, and joining hands with the winds we felt ourselves divine. Imagination doesn't always make you long for what you cannot have, but rather thrive in what you do not have. Your pain is a school unto itself and your joy a lovely temple. Joy is the realest reality, the fullest life, and joy is always given, never grasped. God gives gifts and I give thanks and I unwrap the gift given joy.

As you change your point of view, your views bring about a change in you.

01/03/2024

Flirty

I always have many roads to travel, but I take the one which leads to you.

Life is impoverished, it loses in interest, when the highest stake in the game of living, life itself, may not be risked. It becomes as shallow and empty as, let us say, an American flirtation. Charm is the ability to insult people without offending them; nerdiness the reverse.

I’ve been looking at all the ordinary staples of flirting,” ,”like biting your lip and looking away just a second too late, and laughing a lot and finding every excuse to touch, light fingertips on a forearm or a thigh that emphasize and punctuate the laughter. I’ve been thinking about what a comfort these things are, these textbook methods, precisely because they need no decoding, no translation. Once, a long time ago, you could probably bite your lip and it would mean, I am almost overcome with desiring you. Now you bite your lip and it means, I want you to see that I am almost overcome with desiring you, so I am using the plainest and most universally accepted symbol I can think of to make you see. Now it means, Both of us know the implications of my biting my lip, and what I am trying to say. We are speaking a language, you and I together, a language that we did not invent, a language that is not unique to our uttering. We are speaking someone else’s lines. It’s a comfort.

There might have been prettier women in the room but, when she turned those babies on, fluttered her eyelashes, I was hers. It had taken me nearly fifteen years to extinguish their light. Now, when she looks at me, it’s a vacuum. I had drained so much from her over the course of our marriage that every glance rips a little bit of my soul away to fill the void I had whittled within her. You don’t have to be worried, okay? You don’t have to be scared.” Her voice is twinkling again. “I’m not flirting with you.” Embarrassment sweeps through me. Flirting. A dirty word. He thinks I think he’s flirting. “I’m not—I don’t think you were—I would never think that you—” The words collide in my mouth, and now I know there’s no amount of darkness that can cover the rush of red to my face. He c***s his head to the side. “Are you flirting with me, then?” “What? No,” I splutter. My mind is spinning blindly in a panic, and I realize I don’t even know what flirting is. I just know about it from textbooks; I just know that it’s bad. Is it possible to flirt without knowing you’re flirting? Is he flirting? My left eye goes full flutter.

There is always the risk: something is good and good and good and good, and then all at once it gets awkward. All at once, she sees you looking at her, and then she doesn’t want to joke around with you anymore, because she doesn’t want to seem flirty, because she doesn’t want you to think she likes you. It’s such a disaster, whenever, in the course of human relationships, someone begins to chisel away at the wall of separation between friendship and kissing. Breaking down that wall is the kind of story that might have a happy middle— oh, look, we broke down this wall, I’m going to look at you like a girl and you’re going to look at me like a boy and we’re going to play a fun game called Can I Put My Hand There What About There What About There. And sometimes that happy middle looks so great that you can convince yourself that it’s not the middle but will last forever.

There is no compromise when it comes to someones delicate feelings, the only way out is to stop pretending and set yourself free from someones life. You are adorable, mademoiselle. I study your feet with the microscope and your soul with the telescope.

A woman’s dress should be like a barbed-wire fence: serving its purpose without obstructing the view.

01/02/2024

Endless

I would rather die while living for my dream than live while dying for no reason.

The only thing standing between you and your dreams is reluctance. No matter how bad things get in life, no matter how many times things change, hang onto your ability to dream. Those dreams may well take you further than you could have ever believed. A dream is not to be taken lightly. A dream is a powerful ally, coming to your aid. A magic tale, written in invisible ink. A golden thread, tying together the worlds. You already have inside of you what you need to prevail, you only need to believe that is true. Sleep frees the soul from the fetters of latent terrors and from the dreariness of material reality. Guiding dreams provide us with a forecast of the future. An optimistic dream or a frightful nightmare can manifest from suppressed ambition, a vivid daytime experience, a repressed memory, an undeveloped or unheeded thought, an ignored sensation, or an overlooked occurrence

It’s very hard to have ideas. It’s very hard to put yourself out there, it’s very hard to be vulnerable, but those people who do that are the dreamers, the thinkers and the creators. They are the magic people of the world. Patience is not passive waiting. Patience is active acceptance of the process required to attain your goals and dreams. Dreams, my mother always told me, represent part of our unconsciousness the place where we store the true parts of our soul, away from the rest of the world. Thinking is a form of action, a means of activating our most cherished dreams. We can dwell in a negative world of grief, sadness, and misery or positively transform our patterns of thinking in order to dwell in a world of joy, gratitude, and wonder. Without thoughtful action we are inert beings cast amongst the living dead. Only our minds can drive us, only our dreams can open the map. Sometimes dreams are fertilized in unfamiliar situations or territories that is why success will show up dressed in overalls. All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them.

Do you know what the devil fears much? Strong faith and belief. So, belief is the best friend for your mind. The terrible fact about holding onto something tightly, is that, holding on tightly is the opposite of dreaming. When do dreams happen? Dreams happen when we are not trying, when we've had enough, when we hope for something more. "Holding on" is trying, is denial, is not wanting to place hope into any other direction except the one thing that you decided to grasp onto. And so... you forget to dream! You lose the magic of what it means to live! They always tell you to hold onto your dreams, they'll always tell you that. But they'll forget to remind you of how dreams happen. Dreams happen when you're not holding onto anything, when you're lost, when you're in freefall... when you're asleep. Don't forget how to dream, don't forget how the magic of being alive first happens. Dreams must be bigger than the chances of achieving them.

The excitement of dreams coming true is beyond the description of words. Not much changes if sleep is where you live out your dreams. Start living your dreams out in the day and sleep becomes a time of rest from living rather than an escape from life. Everyone we meet has wounds upon their heart. Everyone is waiting for someone to scatter the seeds of love amongst their tears and to be patient enough to wait for their beautiful fragrance of dreams to awaken once more. One day you feel this feeling: it emanates from your soul. It is the feeling of struggle. It is the feeling of courage. It is the feeling of self-belief! It is the feeling of chasing your dreams. It is the feeling of trying harder. It is the feeling of never ever giving up. This feeling emanates from the fire burning within your soul. Never ever give up this feeling. When your dreams get fulfilled in dreams, wouldn’t you rather skip reality? Sight is seeing what's there, vision is seeing what's possible.

I admire people who have dared to take one step more than the rest. There is always a voyage to our dreams and ambitions; a passage of ascension with many stops and starts along the way. In utilizing all that we have from within we become more skillful through any struggle to get to our place of passion and peace. The beauty of our mind lies in its resources as our creative organizer toward our higher hopes and dreams. On the one hand it is the home of our rational and logical thought, yet on the other it is the birthplace of our creativity, where our imagination floats freely in limitless lands. When you can filter your thoughts through a lens of possibility rather than certainty, freedom instead of fear, belief over doubt, then a powerful inner magic is born. Dreams are like seeds, which won't become actual fruit-bearing trees until someone stands up to sow those seeds with care. In order to attain extraordinary greatness, first you need to be drowned in the deepest fathoms of helplessness, misery and heartache.

If you are committed with all of your being to the pursuit of your dream to the unearthing of your true self and potential you will be blinded by the brilliant light that emerges when you are cracked open. The more you follow others the further you will walk from your own destiny. Follow your own star and illuminate the world in your own way. Stay true to yourself, yet always be open to learn. Work hard, and never give up on your dreams, even when nobody else believes they can come true but you. These are not clichés but real tools you need no matter what you do in life to stay focused on your path. Ever had a dream of flying? Being something more? For me, it is an endless objective. A welcomed reverie. No one else knows exactly what the future holds for you, no one else knows what obstacles you've overcome to be where you are, so don't expect others to feel as passionate about your dreams as you do. Dreams are born from the Rubbles of Pain. Don’t expect the world to dish you your wishes, go out and serve yourself.

Life without dreams is a voyage without a SCENEry

01/02/2024

New Flame

Man may have discovered fire, but women discovered how to play with it.

The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed. I no longer believed in the idea of soul mates, or love at first sight. But I was beginning to believe that a very few times in your life, if you were lucky, you might meet someone who was exactly right for you. Not because he was perfect, or because you were, but because your combined flaws were arranged in a way that allowed two separate beings to hinge together. When someone loves you, the way they talk about you is different. You feel safe and comfortable. I’ve been fighting to be who I am all my life. What’s the point of being who I am, if I can’t have the person who was worth all the fighting for? I want to be in a relationship where you telling me you love me is just a ceremonious validation of what you already show me. Our wounds are often the openings into the best and most beautiful part of us.

A guy and a girl can not be just friends, at one point or another, they will fall for each other.\Maybe temporarily, maybe at the wrong time, maybe too late, or maybe forever. Every couple needs to argue now and then. Just to prove that the relationship is strong enough to survive. Long-term relationships, the ones that matter, are all about weathering the peaks and the valleys. It hurts to let go. Sometimes it seems the harder you try to hold on to something or someone the more it wants to get away. You feel like some kind of criminal for having felt, for having wanted. For having wanted to be wanted. It confuses you, because you think that your feelings were wrong and it makes you feel so small because it's so hard to keep it inside when you let it out and it doesn't coma back. You're left so alone that you can't explain. Damn, there's nothing like that, is there? I've been there and you have too. You're nodding your head.

I will find that special person who is wrong for me in just the right way. When we're incomplete, we're always searching for somebody to complete us. When, after a few years or a few months of a relationship, we find that we're still unfulfilled, we blame our partners and take up with somebody more promising. This can go on and on series polygamy until we admit that while a partner can add sweet dimensions to our lives, we, each of us, are responsible for our own fulfillment. Nobody else can provide it for us, and to believe otherwise is to delude ourselves dangerously and to program for eventual failure every relationship we enter. People like to say love is unconditional, but it's not, and even if it was unconditional, it's still never free. There's always an expectation attached. They always want something in return. Like they want you to be happy or whatever and that makes you automatically responsible for their happiness because they won't be happy unless you are

We’re all seeking that special person who is right for us. But if you’ve been through enough relationships, you begin to suspect there’s no right person, just different flavors of wrong. Why is this? Because you yourself are wrong in some way, and you seek out partners who are wrong in some complementary way. But it takes a lot of living to grow fully into your own wrongness. And it isn’t until you finally run up against your deepest demons, your unsolvable problems the ones that make you truly who you are that we’re ready to find a lifelong mate. Only then do you finally know what you’re looking for. You’re looking for the wrong person. But not just any wrong person: it's got to be the right wrong person someone you lovingly gaze upon and think, This is the problem I want to have. Even though you may want to move forward in your life, you may have one foot on the brakes. In order to be free, we must learn how to let go. Release the hurt. Release the fear. Refuse to entertain your old pain. The energy it takes to hang onto the past is holding you back from a new life. What is it you would let go of today? When you don't talk, there's a lot of stuff that ends up getting said.

Maybe its like you said before, all of us being cracked open. Like each of us starts out as a watertight vessel. And then things happen these people leave us, or don’t love us, or don’t get us, or we don’t get them, and we lose and fail and hurt one another. And the vessel starts to crack in places. And I mean, yeah once the vessel cracks open, the end becomes inevitable. Once it starts to rain inside the our vessel, it may never be remodeled. But there is all this time between when the cracks start to open up and when we finally fall apart. And its only that time that we see one another, because we see out of ourselves through our cracks and into others through theirs. When did we see each other face to face? Not until you saw into my cracks and I saw into yours. Before that we were just looking at ideas of each other, like looking at your window shade, but never seeing inside. But once the vessel cracks, the light can get in. The light can get out.

Relationships are mysterious. We doubt the positive qualities in others, seldom the negative. You will say to your partner: do you really love me? Are you sure you love me? You will ask this a dozen times and drive the person nuts. But you never ask: are you really mad at me? Are you sure you’re angry? When someone is angry, you don’t doubt it for a moment. Yet the reverse should be true. We should doubt the negative in life, and have faith in the positive. We die to each other daily. What we know of other people is only our memory of the moments during which we knew them. And they have changed since then. To pretend that they and we are the same is a useful and convenient social convention which must sometimes be broken. We must also remember that at every meeting we are meeting a stranger. We have to recognize that there cannot be relationships unless there is commitment, unless there is loyalty, unless there is love, patience, persistence.

Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them.