11/02/2025
Forgiveness. Forgiveness of your enemies, forgiveness of friends & family, forgiveness of those who have wronged you. These virtues we are instilled by the most important commandment: To love your neighbor as you would love yourself. But this year there is a new lesson I’ve learned, one that I never came to terms with and always had forsaken: To also learn to forgive oneself.
How many of us are our own worst enemies? How many of us battle with our minds more than the world, as our battle is not an outwardly one but a spiritual one? We are our own worst critics, our own crowd ready to stone us for our errors and our wrongs, as this is the curse of those of us who have rarely had a kind word to lift us up in endless misfortune. This is why kindness changes lives. In a place of darkness, one kind gesture gives the little spark of hope that perhaps there are those who do have faith in us in this dreary world. That spark of hope leads to inward inflection, to measure our hearts and see the severity of our own inflicted lashings, and we start to seek the better parts of ourselves and learning to forgive the others. This skill is something that few people ever come across, those who simply live in misery and also those too blind to ever notice the inward measurements that make them better leaders, leading to arrogance.
There is a splitting road that comes when life comes into focus, when we come face to face with our own mortality and no longer drift in this world, when we’re no longer witnesses, but now players in this game called Life and can now have a direct impact on the course of history. When this choice comes, it leads to one simple truth: To turn back to the life you knew in nothingness, or decide to become a better version of yourself that can find the good in life, and w**d out the darkness and muck that has tainted our souls for so long, to be cleansed in the light of faith and salvation. The first rule is always to forgive each other, but it’s a difficult thing to see yourself and see it for all that it is, good and bad, and realize that you would have never discovered the good if it wasn’t for the darkness that pushed you that direction. We can think that changing the past would lead to a better and quickened future, but if we pull on those strings, you’ll see the unwinding of a perfect tapestry that made you in this very moment. The past, present and future are often said to be folded on top of one another, all culminating in one perfect vision if you let it work on you. For all the good and bad, there is a path being forged that we cannot see yet but it was always there, and therefore time is our most precious resource. Forgiving oneself then means to forgive us of our own missteps and our faults, and realize that we would have never grown if it wasn’t for the calling to change those things. We cannot hold onto the past but use it as an inspiration to see how far we’ve come and keep marching towards a brighter future in the light of renewed visions, and forgiving our faults to give way to life pouring back into our souls, like water from a spring to renew us. Jesus said that “I am the wellspring of life, those who drink will never go thirsty again” (John 4:13), which fulfills my metaphor that life is ready to pour into you and be manifested in you, but you must forgive yourself to let it come in. Do not punish yourself, do not hide from yourself, let it be changed and embrace the goodness of the future to come. There is good and it’s worth fighting for, this is what we were born for and it’s what past generations have invested in us to fulfill as the new generation. Time is now, purpose is being fulfilled, and truth will reveal itself in time for those willing to see it.
But first, let me tell you one small truth: You are perfect just the way you are. Not to mean to remain static and unchanging in that way, but perfect in realizing that it will lead you to the road you were always meant to find, you are human and to find a reason to change is called growth. Imperfection is the perfection of perseverance. You will be made perfect in time, so be repentant and learn to forgive oneself as God has already forgiven you. Life is waiting for us.
Isaiah 58:8-12
Then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear; then your righteousness will go before you, and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard. Then you will call, and the Lord will answer; you will cry for help, and he will say: “Here am I.
If you do away with the yoke of oppression, with the pointing finger and malicious talk, and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed, then your light will rise in the darkness, and your night will become like the noonday. The Lord will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail. Your people will rebuild the ancient ruins and will raise up the age-old foundations; you will be called Repairer of Broken Walls, Restorer of Streets with Dwellings.”
