
03/12/2025
SO, I WENT ON A STAR TREK CRUISE…
1. It’s 2024 and I’m trying to find Steve the perfect birthday gift. He’s a big Star Trek fan, but I’m starting to run short on ideas having already gotten him several pajamas, toy sets, and books on the theme. Just last Christmas, I actually found a book of Star Trek music for trombone, his instrument.
As I am looking online for ideas, I come across an entry that catches my attention.
“STAR TREK CRUISE VIII: The Un-Conventional Voyage.”
Steve and I both love cruises and it had been a while since we have gotten to take a vacation given how much our responsibilities have increased with the business, so I smile and bookmark the page. Two days later, I purchase us a room for the cruise.

2. We are standing in line at the terminal in Miami, Florida, waiting to get on the ship. There are hundreds of people in line, most dressed in some type of Star Trek T-shirt, and some with vulcan ears. We even spy one with andorian antennae. Some cast members from the various shows have started to arrive, each greeted with an enthusiastic cheer from the gathering crowd. 
We’ve been up since 3:00am central time to fly in that morning, and I am very tired. This is why it takes me a moment to notice something about all of the people.
There are no kids. Not one that I can spot, anyway.
I ask the person in front of us about this.
“Oh yeah,” he says. “This cruise is 14 and up.”
I can already tell I’m going to like this cruise very much.
3. We are exploring the ship prior to debarkation, and both Steve and I are delighted to find that they have overlayed a lot of the decorations on the ship with various Star Trek characters and locations.
The Schoonover Bar has becomeme “Gorn’s Bar.” Giovanni’s Table has become “Pike’s Kitchen.” The casino has posters and cardboard standups of Quark, the Ferengi from DS9, everywhere. Even the elevators have been made to look like the turbo lifts on a federation starship. This theme continues throughout the ship and we keep finding surprising little details throughout the week.
The captain signals to speak to the ship, and the familiar whistles of an incoming announcement from The Next Generation sounds.
As the ship gets underway, they play the “Leaving Spacedock” music from The Motion Picture.
I glance over at Steve and he is smiling so severely I fear his face will split open. He raises his drink to me and raises his hand in the familiar “Live Long and Prosper” salute. He then changes it to the sign language symbol for “I love you,” which he and I do anytime we want to say it silently.
I sign it back, then extend my index and middle fingers. “I love you, too.”
4. We are having coffee on the promenade. It’s a sea day, and we are taking it easy, people watching from a table off to the side. It’s 10:00am, and there are some people already in full costume wandering up and down the main area , stopping for pictures and sharing trade secrets. These are not cheap, Halloween affairs, but rather a full-blown cosplay, which are simultaneously amusing and impressive. A klingon walks by…then a vulcan…then two vulcans…then a Bajoran. I am suddenly stunned to find that I can name almost all of the species parading through the ship. Up until then I would have described myself as a casual fan, but through Steve’s tutelage, perhaps I am at least a low-grade Trekkie as well. 
5. Nightly on the cruise, there is a meeting for LGBTQIA+ travelers in the “Stardust Bar.” Steve and I have been on mini cruises, and usually there are anywhere from 10 to 20 travelers he’ll gather, drink, and make some friendships.  it always makes us feel a little safer and a little bit better knowing that there are other people from our community on the ship.
We arrive at the bar, expecting a small gathering, and it is wall to wall people. I tried to count, but stop at 70. On guess, I would imagine there were 150 or more. There are rainbow colored Federation symbols, Star Trek, and planets on T-shirts as far as the I can see. 
I nudge Steve.
“Did we accidentally go on a gay cruise?”
“Maybe,” he says.
We get drinks and start the laborious process of trying to make friends.
6. The entertainment for tonight is a set of opera performances, featuring Robert Picardo (better known as the holographic doctor from Voyager) and world reknowned tenor,  Arturo Chacon-Cruz. I was expecting it to be fairly dry, but they interject enough humor and stories inbetween the arias to make it really interesting, plus they both perform beautifully.
At the height of the concert, another lady joins them on stage in full Klingon cosplay and sings a Klingon opera.
I will never be able to look at Carmen the same way again. 
7. We are sitting in Gorn’s Bar, having drinks and planning our day when I notice the music being piped through the speaker. It is a discount beat with an early 80s synth pop feel, and the singers keep singing two phrases over and over:
“Star Trek….Star Trek Cruuuuuise…Star Trek….Star Trek Cruuuuuise…”
I start laughing uncontrollably. Our cruise has its own theme song.
I freaking love it.
8. Another entertainment night, and this time several Star Trek actors are doing a live reading of a script. I was actually expecting it to be fairly dry and straightforward, but they turn it into an improv comedy riot.
Afterwards I’m heading up in one of the turbo lifts to go to the  top deck, when Denise Crosby jumps in the elevator with me. She played Lieutenant Yar on the first season of Star Trek the next generation, and was absolutely hilarious in the performance we just saw.
There is a moment of awkward silence as we were the only two people in the elevator. I don’t want to bother her, but I am a big fan. She was in one of my absolute favorite horror, movies of all time. 
“I loved you in Pet Sematary ,” I say.
She smiles and thanks me. “Nobody ever mentions that one,” she laughs.
She pops out, and I leave smiling as well. She was just as nice and I had always hoped she would be.
9. It is the big costume contest night, and the passengers went all out. I had always seen pictures of Star Trek cosplay from conventions, but seeing it live is something else entirely. For a little while, you might really believe you were walking amongst aliens and people from another world.  and they also just happened to be some of the nicest people I’ve ever met.
10. It is close to the end of the cruise, and we receive a notice about booking for Star Trek the cruise IX. I ask Steve if he wants to go again next year.
He smiles.
“Make it so.”
EPILOGUE: so for anyone, wondering, we had an absolute blast on this trip. It was honestly one of the most fun cruise experiences I have ever had. If you are a hard-core Star Trek fan or even a casual one, or just enjoy being in an environment with creative, geeky people, and no kids, you would have a blast on this trip.
As for me…
I have been walking around my house for a week now, softly singing to myself…
 “Star Trek….Star Trek Cruuuuuise…Star Trek….Star Trek Cruuuuuise…”
Peace Love and Music…and Live Long and Prosper