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Homer Gossip Girl

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Homer Gossip Girl

Send in your juicy tips. Please do not use names. This page is meant for fun, or is it? Xoxo G.G.

11/23/2023

hey fellow gossipers, just a few minutes shy of the day we call thanks. in great tradition I’ll start. if it walks like a duck. Nuff said. Yes, you are a w***e. Nobody likes you. we have all slept with him. You’re a drunk. ulmers is unsure they want you as a customer. Three coffee drive thrus hate you. Your washer can’t get the stain of your life out of your clothes. Yet, in light of the times… I’ll give you this. You are worthy of me. At least I can rely on you for all you do. I hope you don’t get food poisoning. It would kill me. Xoxo. G.G.

11/08/2023

Sometimes in life we take things too far. We realize we’ve had too much risk and too little reward, and that we have pushed the limits between wrong and right. Because here‘s the problem with pushing limits…. You don’t know your own limits until it’s too late. I’m just a friendly reminder, I KNOW every limit and boundary you possess. I see you for who you are, not who you pretend to be.
And here’s another dark truth you don’t want to admit to. You can’t change who you are. You never could. You are simply becoming more and more of yourselves everyday. The worst versions I might add. But I won’t let you you get away with it, and like it or not, there’s nothing you can do to stop me. I can’t even stop myself. Happy Holidays. XOXO. G.G.

09/29/2023

Word has it the g**s are coming in hot this weekend. I expect assless chaps, sweat, and broken hearts. But as we slide into wintertime at least we know that there is plenty of wood around. you can almost smell it, or is that the g**s? Careful of the splinters… or not. XOXO. G.G.

09/23/2023

Just when you think I’m not here..hey gossipers… now that we can’t wear white after Labor Day. One must wonder, who might be in Labor(say 7 months from now). Looks like April showers to me. Xoxo G.G.

09/05/2023

A hurricane passed though the town of hope. Bleach blonde and awful. Hurricane Chelsea Jones 2023.

08/27/2023

As the summer winds down and your loins flare up. Remember, they call it Labor Day for a reason. Put in the work boys n girls. It’s not like your jaw and ability to speak is why any one hangs with you. Xoxo. G.G.

08/22/2023

Word on the street a certain local bartender just finished their reassignment surgery!!
Let’s hear it for them!!!👏👏👏
Xoxo G.G.

*** correction it was a reconstructive surgery…***

08/16/2023

What a sad crowd. The dinngly dangly things got y’all worked up. Clean your sheets bi***es. We have work. Sue Butler is gettin Hitched. I think desserts are in in order. 2 pm. Saturday. Get your preggo ass off of Amazon n a**l and bake something. Sadly there are no horses in the matriarchy or patriarchy. Say what you will. But this party is going to the top. Xoxo.GG

08/09/2023

Hey my fellow gossipers. I’ve been out of commission for a bit. I’m not Ill…Let’s just say sickened. You all have been bad. As for me? Let’s just say I couldn’t be happier. Oh, where to start? You’ve heard of dirty dancing. But have you heard of dirty tenting? Salmonfest had an outbreak. May I suggest get your cranberry juice now. Xoxo.G.G.

08/01/2023

So the government admitted to UAPs, UFOs, and even non human biologicals.I’m more concerned about a certain guy. Can we say STD much. Not even a nuclear attack can stop that. Xoxo. G.G.

07/31/2023

Many years ago I happened upon a little space next to a bar. starts with a K and ends in a haracters. P*e wees bike was chained up. Word has it someone else might have been looking for the Alamo there.. I hope there were wet naps. Xox G.G.

07/30/2023

A certain restaurant owner called some one out. Shame silly guy. My full attention is guided towards you. And I know your Nannies. Truth be be told, it’s not looking good. This will unwind in itself. xoxoG.G.if you want to soar, you must wake up at dawn on the”homestead”

07/30/2023

Somehow, i don’t believe you.. from now on you’ll just believe me. And the truths are coming. A certain establishment out of town is on the rocks. Or is it just him on a rock..xoxo. You know you love me.G..G

07/29/2023

Hey there. The thing is. It’s not. Slut it up, drunk it up. S*x it up. I don’t care. But you do. So I’ll give you this, looks like someone may be chewing at the bit. You know the corner boy. He knows more about you than your best friend. Not going to say cover your drink, but maybe lock your doors. Xoxo. G.G.

07/24/2023

And who am I? Gossip girl

07/23/2023

Looks like a wiener is trending. Well,, well, well. Seems like a restraining order is in line. Might I get a hot dog with a bit of stalker and a side of desperation. Hot dog guy. You’re ugly. You don’t attract any of us. Fresh buns mean nothing. Xoxo G.G.

07/22/2023

Good morning gossipers. Here’s a lil tip from the expert. Actually, it’s more of a warning. Be careful of what you say, especially when you use names. lll be blunt. If you use names, I guess I can too. gossip is not a right it’s a time honored tradition. I have eyes everywhere. So I will leave you with this…. I’m watching. Xoxo G.G.

07/20/2023

Careful friends. When it comes blow to blow, I might have you beat. Careful what you wish for. You don’t hear the truths like I do. It’s from your friends and enemies. They don’t even know me, but they tell me everything. Good luck out there.. some of you are going to need it. Xoxo G.G.

07/19/2023

Word on the street… The Cougars are in town… Ho, meow!!
Xoxo
G.G.

07/14/2023

To be honest, I have to say this warm weather has got me moist. From what I hear its got your lil spaces a rumbling too. Pretty sure more than two handfuls were digging dirt…. and dirty boys n girls. I just hope no one got sandboxed. Maybe the washboard has a special on showers. You need it. Xoxo.G.G.

07/14/2023

Being the bad bearer of bad news is a problem. Not finishing consigned art for a client is worse… sure, the ravens will attack the eagles, but we see you and how you are. Parading a new person doesn’t help. Xoxo G.G.

07/12/2023

Word on the street.. there’s a shapeshifter on the spit.. watch out for those witchy thighs!!!
Xoxo
G.G.

07/12/2023

Fame, fame, fatal fame. A certain group here allows me to post but no one can comment and they decide what gets said. You may have more followers, but I’ve been at this longer than the man bun trend, avocado toast, and homer dreads. Careful haters. The haters are gonna hate. I can shake it off. Can you.? I’d say see you in the comments but you turned them off. Wonder why?

07/12/2023

Sometimes in life the tables take a turn. From what I hear, a certain off duty bartender became the barfly. One that normally doesn’t partake in the sauce. Looks like our summer isn’t the only thing wet. lets give our thoughts and prayers that she sees it through today. Xoxo G.G.

07/11/2023

word on the street is there is a new epidemic… it’s called pink eye. Some of you are running around like it’s allergies. Well we all know a bu****le is hardly allergic. Do what you will, say what you want, fodder your story. one in the pink and two in the stink has come full circle. I’m choosing orange this summer. Maybe you should consider other options. Xoxo G.G.

07/10/2023

Spotted: wynn nature trail. A certain raven haired reality tv star playing some Star Wars with a young fair haired obi wan kenobi. Too bad we don’t have trains to spot here, if we did I’m sure that the spirit of the moulin rouge could be set free. Careful, raven… the big fish aren’t always a catch. Or are they. Xoxo G.G.

07/09/2023

Spotted: Down East Saloon. Let’s just say a certain someone may have been a bit too lovey dovey with a friend. I’m sure it seemed like nothing… and maybe it wasn’t. But like the bartenders breasts, this story will break out sooner or later. I hope it’s not a total bust. Xoxo. G.G.

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