Jessica Fairfax, LMFT

06/30/2022

In my first sessions with couples, it’s often assessment- learning about their relationship and how it has changed over time. Every single time, I find myself feeling grateful that they have allowed me to witness their story. 💕

Something that sticks with me often is the joy I see- how their faces light up when they recall their first experiences together.

It’s as if, for a moment, their pain of a present hurt is ever so slightly lessened by the recollection of their love for each other.

So why don’t we reflect on these things more often?

Try today to ground yourself in the security of your commitment with your partner.
Spend a few minutes reflecting on your early memories together. Allow yourself to breathe in the joy you first felt. As you inhale, let your heart and your gut feel the love that exists within you. As you exhale, breathe out today’s stressors. Remind yourself of the deeper connection that pulls you through when daily tension builds.

Let your body remember the feeling of holding hands with your partner. Find them today, in the midst of chaos. Sit in a moment of connection together. ❤️

08/24/2020

It's hard for me to step back from this. I love this podcast, and I'm so thankful for all the guests who took time to share their insights and experiences with me. I'm forever grateful for everyone who listened, downloaded episodes, and supported the podcast so well. It has been a humbling, rewarding experience.⠀
⠀
But if I've learned anything from 2020, it's that I need to slow down. The podcast was so exciting to work on each week, but it was also very time-consuming. ⠀
⠀
2020 has been challenging for me, as I'm sure it has for most people. My family and I have had to work through grief and loss, illnesses, and many other changes.⠀
And if I encourage others around me to take a break when possible, to truly do self-care, to get away from the screen and spend more time with loved ones, then I know I need to do the same. ⠀
⠀
So, for now, I will not be releasing any new episodes. Maybe one day I will come back to it, or start something new. I've learned we all have to go with the flow and work with what life brings. ⠀
⠀
However, I will be leaving all of the current episodes up! I'm so proud of the valuable information and relationship support already existing through the podcast. So please feel free to always go back and listen to any episode that speaks to your needs. It has always been my goal to help relationships become strong, steady, and secure. My hope is that you continue to have the resources to support your relationship and your journey with your partner. ⠀
⠀
Thank you again for going on this journey with me. I hope you find peace, rest, and secure love as we continue through this year.

05/05/2020

Hey everyone!! Big announcement! If you haven’t already listened to the episode this week, or read the weekly email, then you may not have heard that the podcast is now on a break!⠀⠀
🌼⠀⠀
⠀
So much has changed in the past few months, so I decided to take a break from producing weekly episodes for now. This summer, I’m spending time exploring how I can better serve you, and continuing to create more meaningful ways to support you and your relationship. ⠀⠀
💛⠀⠀
⠀
So stay tuned here on social media to see what’s next, and to continue getting helpful tools for your marriage. ⠀⠀
📱⠀⠀
⠀
And if you haven’t already, head over to my website marriagingpodcast.com to download some free resources! You can also sign up for the email list, where I send out weekly marriage challenges.⠀⠀
🧡⠀⠀
⠀
Thank you for supporting me these past few months, and for allowing me to be a part of your relationship growth. I’m so excited for all the possibilities of how I can get to know you more, work with you, and support you wherever your journey towards authentic connection takes you.

05/04/2020

Adventure. Connection. Excitement. ⠀
We all want thrill. We seek meaning in what we do.⠀
⠀
But sometimes life feels boring. The daily routine is mundane. We lose a sense of adventure when we feel stuck in the boring. We lose connection with the partner we most want to share adventure with. ⠀
• ⠀
• ⠀
• ⠀
So what next? What do we do to find meaning, to feel motivated to take on the day?⠀
• ⠀
• ⠀
• ⠀
In this episode, I talked with Jason Frishman, a psychologist who loves helping families connect and find meaning and adventure every day.
⠀
This interview moved and challenged me, and I’m excited for you to grow from it as well.⠀
• ⠀
• ⠀
• ⠀
And if you enjoy what you hear, be sure to connect with Jason, or share this with your partner for them to get connected! Jason has a 12 week JourneyMen coaching program for fathers of sons. You can find him at Nourished Connections or at http://drjasonsfrishman.com/⠀
• ⠀
• ⠀
• ⠀
And you can listen to this episode now on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, and more!

https://marriagingpodcast.com/episodes/marriaging-podcast-episode-36-finding-adventure-and-connection-in-the-ordinary-with-jason-frishman-psyd/

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/finding-adventure-connection-in-ordinary-jason-frishman/id1480583462?i=1000473505922

Finding Adventure and Connection in the Ordinary, with Jason Frishman, PsyD. Jason shares how you can create meaningful connection in your daily routines.

04/27/2020

Maybe you want to talk about it, or maybe you don’t. Either way, you and your partner need to talk about it. ⠀
😬⠀
S*x. Maybe you don’t really have a desire for it. Or you might be the one in the relationship who wants it more, better, or different. ⠀
• ⠀
• ⠀
• ⠀
If you’re both on the same page about s*x, that’s great. But, couples do often go through seasons of changes in s*xual desire. You and your partner face differences in your desire. It leaves you feeling alone, wanting connection, and unsure how to be close. ⠀
• ⠀
• ⠀
• ⠀
S*x isn’t everything, but it is an important part of physical intimacy in a safe and loving relationship. So, in this episode, I talked with Jessica Cline, a s*xologist who specializes in helping couples with desire differences. She is giving you some great things to examine and explore to improve intimacy and work through s*xual desire differences in your relationship. ❤️⠀
⠀
The episode is out now on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher and more!
https://marriagingpodcast.com/episodes/marriaging-podcast-episode-35-desire-differences-with-jessica-cline-msw-lcsw/

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/desire-differences-with-jessica-cline-msw-lcsw/id1480583462?i=1000472763367⠀
• ⠀
• ⠀
• ⠀
*xologist *xtherapy

Desire Differences. Jessica Cline, LCSW, shares about s*xual desire differences in couple relationships, and how you and your partner can improve intimacy.

04/22/2020

Now, maybe more than ever, we need connection. We need an accepting love. We need an authentic lifeline we can trust. ⠀
• ⠀
• ⠀
• ⠀
So often, couples think that if they aren’t having loud fights, the relationship is ok. But then they start to notice the distance. And the distance can be just as painful as hurtful words in a fight.⠀
• ⠀
• ⠀
• ⠀
💛What would it be like to reach out, to share your inner self- your thoughts and feelings that get buried and tucked away- with your partner? ⠀
🧡What would happen if you had the courage to step into the disconnect and seek to heal it?⠀
❤️What if you told your partner how much you miss them in those silent, distanced moments?⠀
• ⠀
• ⠀
• ⠀
Can you trust that your partner will accept you? Today, can you ask for that authentic acceptance, love, and connection? ⠀

04/20/2020

Love languages. You’ve probably heard of them. Maybe you think you know what yours is, and you sometimes find yourself frustrated that your spouse isn’t loving you in that way.⠀
• ⠀
• ⠀
• ⠀
Or maybe you’ve been stuck in quarantine together and though you’d typically like some quality time, you’re finding you’ve had enough of that. 😂 Could your love language be changing?⠀
• ⠀
• ⠀
• ⠀
In this week’s episode, I talked with Bridget Boursiquot, LICSW. She dove into all of Gary Chapman’s love languages, what they actually mean, how they can change, and how you can grow your understanding of love languages to strengthen your relationship, instead of getting stuck in a rut with your partner.⠀
• ⠀
• ⠀
• ⠀
And on top of all that good stuff, Bridget got into John Gottman’s research to help you learn about his predictors of divorce and ways you can be aware and avoid the pitfalls (hint: it goes along with how you can speak to each other’s love languages).⠀
• ⠀
• ⠀
• ⠀
Y’all, this episode is great. I’m excited to share it because Bridget does a great job of taking something you’ve probably heard about and helping you have a full understanding of it, in ways that can truly benefit your marriage. ❤️⠀
• ⠀
• ⠀
• ⠀
You can listen now on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, Google Play, and on the website:
https://marriagingpodcast.com/episodes/marriaging-podcast-episode-34-love-languages-with-bridget-boursiquot-msw-licsw/

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/love-languages-with-bridget-boursiquot-msw-licsw/id1480583462?i=1000472033765

Love Languages, developed by Gary Chapman, are vital to the foundation of your relationship. Bridget discusses love languages, combined with John Gottman's research, to help you create a strong and connected relationship.

04/13/2020

Ok, let’s talk about COVID-19. Who’s worried? 🙋🏼‍♀️⠀
Maybe you’ve been worried, or maybe you are just starting to notice occasional glimpses of worry. Either way, it’s getting to you somehow.⠀
• ⠀
• ⠀
• ⠀
And who has been stuck at home with their partner more? ⠀
🙋🏼‍♀️⠀
Maybe one or both of you is still going to work, but beyond that there isn’t much you can do. You’re noticing little frustrating things more often and you’re starting to get on each other’s nerves.⠀
• ⠀
• ⠀
• ⠀
We’re all in a chaotic, stressful time. This is new, unexpected, and scary for everyone. ⠀
• We all need hope.⠀
• We all need love.⠀
• We all need security.⠀
• We all need connection. ⠀
🌎⠀
⠀
I hope you’re able to find some peace and support this week, so I recorded this episode with the goal of doing just that.⠀
• ⠀
• ⠀
• ⠀
You can find it now on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher and more.
https://marriagingpodcast.com/episodes/marriaging-podcast-episode-33-worry-covid-19-and-your-relationship/

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/marriaging-the-marriage-podcast-with-jessica-fairfax/id1480583462

Worry, COVID-19, and Your Relationship. Our world is filled with uncertainty and worry right now. Find peace and support in your relationship.

04/06/2020

You’ve been in a significant relationship, but now that it’s ended, you aren’t sure how to start over. You weren’t planning to have to date again, and the thought of it is intimidating.⠀
• ⠀
• ⠀
I know this podcast is usually geared toward couples- already in a relationship and wanting to make it thrive. But this week, I’m sharing an interview with Kelly Lynch from The Unapology Project, who has so much insight and support to offer when it comes to dating after divorce.⠀
• ⠀
• ⠀
Regardless of whether you’re already in a relationship or not, this episode is incredible. Kelly shares factors that help us enter into relationships while truly caring for ourselves. This really is an episode about your inner work before dating, and it’s a huge support as you start your journey (again) into the dating world.⠀
• ⠀
• ⠀
You can find it now on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, Google Play and the website: marriagingpodcast.com

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dating-after-divorce-kelly-lynch-emt-lcsw-cpt-pn-1/id1480583462?i=1000470623205

https://marriagingpodcast.com/episodes/marriaging-podcast-episode-32-dating-after-divorce-with-kelly-lynch-emt-lcsw-cpt-pn-1-life-coach/

‎Show Marriaging: The Marriage Podcast with Jessica Fairfax, Ep Dating after Divorce with Kelly Lynch, EMT, LCSW, CPT, PN-1, Life Coach - Apr 6, 2020

04/02/2020

We often struggle to share the parts of ourselves that most need connection.⠀
• ⠀
• ⠀
It’s easy to show frustration. It’s easy to distance ourselves.⠀
It’s much more difficult to share how afraid we are. It’s difficult to truly say “I need you” or “I miss you.”⠀
• ⠀
• ⠀
Yet here we all are, in a world that now, more than ever, needs connection, needs hope. Our souls long for company as we physically distance ourselves. ⠀
• ⠀
• ⠀
And if you’re stuck in quarantine with your spouse, it’s easy to start getting frustrated and annoyed by little things. Yet, now is the time you could spend deepening your connection, bonding together in the midst of fear and uncertainty.⠀
• ⠀
• ⠀
So whatever you’re going through in this season, let’s remember what our hearts need, and seek to embrace vulnerability and authenticity with our safe loved ones.⠀
• ⠀
• ⠀

⠀
⠀

03/30/2020

You’ve just brought your newborn baby home, and you’re realizing you and your partner have no idea what you’re doing. You’re tired, stressed, and in survival mode.⠀
• ⠀
• ⠀
• ⠀
It’s a tough season of life, and a very rewarding one. When you look back on this time, I hope you’re able to look at it with gratitude. Gratitude for your partner, for the family you created, for getting through the challenging times together.⠀
• ⠀
• ⠀
• ⠀
This week’s episode is finishing our mini-series on parenthood. It’s all about the challenges you and your partner face when bringing your baby home, and what you both can do together to support and care for yourselves and each other.⠀
• ⠀
• ⠀
• ⠀
You can listen now on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Spotify and more! And if what you hear is helpful for you, feel free to share it with your friends, too!

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bringing-your-baby-home/id1480583462?i=1000469937402

https://marriagingpodcast.com/episodes/marriaging-podcast-episode-31-bringing-your-baby-home/

‎Show Marriaging: The Marriage Podcast with Jessica Fairfax, Ep Bringing Your Baby Home - Mar 30, 2020

03/23/2020

Pregnant and stressed? I chatted with two absolutely phenomenal women about their pregnancies, their relationships, and everything they learned about themselves while being pregnant.⠀
• ⠀
• ⠀
• ⠀
With all the fear, isolation, and uncertainty we’re all facing now, being pregnant may bring even more uncertainty at this time. This interview was recorded before COVID-19 was happening here, but I think everything we talked about still applies to you, your pregnancy, and your relationship. And these women have a way of bringing joy and love even in the hard stuff.⠀
• ⠀
• ⠀
• ⠀
So my hope is that this episode brings you encouragement, hope, a laugh, and maybe even some challenges for how you can strengthen your connection with your partner while also caring for yourself and your pregnancy. ⠀
• ⠀
• ⠀
• ⠀
The episode is out now on and more!

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/pregnancy-and-your-relationship/id1480583462?i=1000469211042

https://marriagingpodcast.com/episodes/marriaging-podcast-episode-30-pregnancy-and-your-relationship/

‎Show Marriaging: The Marriage Podcast with Jessica Fairfax, Ep Pregnancy and Your Relationship - Mar 23, 2020

03/16/2020

If you and your partner are thinking about growing your family and trying to conceive, you probably expect there to be some challenges along the way. ⠀
• ⠀
• ⠀
• ⠀
Maybe you’re feeling nervous or worried, or unsure of what will happen. ⠀
Maybe you’re excited, but this is beginning to look like you over-stressing, over-planning, and trying to make this process go just as you wanted, on your timeline. ⠀
• ⠀
• ⠀
• ⠀
Whatever your experience is on this journey, I know that one of the most important things you can do is to prioritize your relationship with your partner, and keep a steady connection through all the ups and downs of trying. That’s why this week’s episode is all about your relationship when you’re trying to conceive.⠀
• ⠀
• ⠀
• ⠀
You can listen now on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Play, Stitcher, and more!

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/trying-to-conceive/id1480583462?i=1000468522084

https://marriagingpodcast.com/episodes/marriaging-podcast-episode-29-trying-to-conceive/

‎Show Marriaging: The Marriage Podcast with Jessica Fairfax, Ep Trying to Conceive - Mar 16, 2020

03/12/2020

Let’s stop for a minute and think. Have you ever gotten super frustrated and set off about some small things? You know, you get home and one sock on the floor or one piece of trash on the counter is just the thing to set you spiraling down into frustration.

For you, it might look like anger and harsh verbal attacks toward your partner.
But on the other hand, it might also look like you get quiet, wall off, and shut them out.
🙄

▫️Forgiveness▫️


We all need it. We all mess up. We all make mistakes. We all want to be loved unconditionally.

So maybe it’s something small like I just talked about. Or maybe it’s something a little bigger.

But either way, how can you start forgiving today?
💕

(And let me clarify that forgiveness can come with boundaries, and if you’re in a toxic relationship, it doesn’t mean that you have to stay and accept being hurt (emotionally, physically, etc.). Yes, forgiveness is good. And if you have questions about the difference between healthy relationships with issues, and unhealthy and harmful relationships, let’s chat.)

03/09/2020

Infertility. So many couples experience this, yet it’s so hard to open up about and seek help. Whether you and your partner have been dealing with fertility issues for a month, a year, 5 years, or even more, the pain is still real.
•
•
•
In my work with couples, I see how important it is to care for your relationship when you’re dealing with infertility. If your relationship suffers, everything else is more difficult. So this week, we’re talking about the issues your relationship might experience with infertility, and what you and your partner can do to care for yourselves and your relationship.

While this episode might not fully speak to your experience, I encourage you to use it as a starting point to open up some lines of communication with your partner and begin hearing each other more and offering support through the hurt.

Sending love and hugs your way. 💕

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/infertility-and-your-relationship/id1480583462?i=1000467847959

https://marriagingpodcast.com/episodes/marriaging-podcast-episode-28-infertility-and-your-relationship/

‎Show Marriaging: The Marriage Podcast with Jessica Fairfax, Ep Infertility and Your Relationship - Mar 9, 2020

03/04/2020

Simple, yet important.
▪️We often get stuck in comparison mode. We see beautiful, perfectly edited pictures of couples on dates, vacations, and other fun activities, and we think “That would be so nice....Why can’t I do that with my spouse?...I don’t have the time or the money.”
▪️Social media leads us to believe we’ll only really experience “love” if it looks that perfect.
▪️So we build up frustrations and resentments at our partner. We want perfection in ourselves, our partner, our relationship.
👏🏼LOVE
👏🏼IS
👏🏼NOT
👏🏼THE
👏🏼INSTAGRAM
👏🏼EXPERIENCE

▫️What if we got realistic about what love looks like? Yes, sometimes you do get nice vacations together and you should have date nights. But love, daily love, is in the small things.
▫️You can love your spouse through helping with some housework.
▫️You can love your spouse with a simple, encouraging text.
▫️You can love your spouse with a hug and nasty-morning-breath-kiss when you wake up.
▫️There are thousands of moments each day that you can choose to think about your spouse and love them in the small, meaningful, consistent ways.

💕So take your fun vacations and get the cute insta picture, but at the end of the day, remember that your spouse will be there long after you stop getting new likes on your post. And you can choose a love that exists and grows daily.

03/02/2020

Addiction, whether it’s alcohol use, substance use, or something else, can deeply impact a relationship. If you or your partner is struggling with an addiction of any sort, you need support, healing, and true change, to be able to move forward.

In this week’s episode, I talked with my friend and colleague, Ross Hill, LMFT, CAC-P, about addiction and relationships. He specializes in working with alcohol and substance use disorders. He shares how you can learn warning signs, ways to manage these issues in your relationship, and how to gain support.

Whether or not you think this is a struggle in your relationship, this episode is definitely worth a listen.

It’s available now on and the link in bio!

If you like what you hear, please leave a rating and review and share it with your friends!

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/addiction-and-relationships-with-ross-hill-mmft-lmft-cac-p/id1480583462?i=1000467187984

https://marriagingpodcast.com/episodes/marriaging-podcast-episode-27-addiction-and-relationships-with-ross-hill-mmft-lmft-cac-p/

‎Show Marriaging: The Marriage Podcast with Jessica Fairfax, Ep Addiction and Relationships with Ross Hill, MMFT, LMFT, CAC-P - Mar 2, 2020

02/27/2020

It’s hard to be real, isn’t it? We want our spouse to read our minds, to know our hearts and what we need. Yet so often, we don’t share these real needs. We put up walls, we block, we hide. 🟥

We expect them to know when we’re hurting, yet we don’t really show that. Maybe I’m generalizing here, but I know I’m at fault for hiding the hurt. Or at least I think I hide it. It shows up in defensiveness and frustration, when what I’m really trying to tell my husband is how much I love him, miss him, or want to be near him. Anyone else with me on this? 🙋🏼‍♀️

So how do we get real? How do we ask our partners for what we truly need? We have to look within. Stop drawing attention the list of wrongs you want to throw at your spouse, and start recognizing what’s going on inside of you. That’s where the real work needs to happen. When you can express yourself and your needs with clarity, patience, and love, your spouse will be able to hear you, listen, and respond with care. 💕

I hope you’re met with authentic love today.

02/24/2020

We all go through seasons of stress, change, and growth. But when we’re in these seasons, we sometimes forget to put in the work of keeping our relationship strong. It gets moved lower on the priority list and we work on just getting through whatever stressful thing we’re dealing with.

If we’re not careful though, we end up losing sight of the one we love the most. Sure, you get through that stressful thing, but you didn’t support each other along the way.

So how do we change this? How do we work with our partners, stay close and connected, and thrive through all the changes we face in life? Whether it’s a new job, a loss, a big move, a child, a medical issue, or anything else- how do we keep the relationship together so that our partner is there when we need them the most?💕

That’s what this week’s episode is all about. I know change is hard. Sometimes it’s good, sometimes it feels bad. But it’s almost never easy. That’s why it’s so important to have your relationship with your partner strong, to have them as a support for you, and for you to support and love them too. So this week, I’m helping you understand your responses to stress and take specific steps in improving and strengthening your relationship for all the changes you’ll face. ❤️

You can find it now on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, and more!

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/how-you-and-your-partner-can-cope-with-big-life-changes/id1480583462?i=1000466490109

https://marriagingpodcast.com/episodes/marriaging-podcast-episode-26-how-you-and-your-partner-can-cope-with-big-life-changes/

‎Show Marriaging: The Marriage Podcast with Jessica Fairfax, Ep How You and Your Partner Can Cope with Big Life Changes - Feb 24, 2020

02/20/2020

Sometimes it’s a challenge to prioritize our marriage. We get stuck in stress, in the daily routines. Time goes by and we forget to remind our spouse how much we love them. ⏳

I know I’m just as much at fault for this. It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking if we can’t do something big we shouldn’t do it at all- why try if it would just be disappointing. The little things won’t really make an impact. But👏🏼that’s👏🏼not👏🏼the👏🏼truth👏🏼

Love grows in the small daily actions that maintain a lasting connection. Love stays in the little things that show your spouse you’re thinking of them. So today I challenge you (and I’m challenging myself, too) to love well in the small, meaningful ways. How are you going to remind your spouse you love them today? ❤️

02/17/2020

Ever talked with your partner about something important to you, and you left the conversation feeling unheard or even dismissed?
Or maybe your partner has tried to talk with you before, but you were busy. You quickly told them how to solve the problem and then moved on from it.

I bet you can think of times this has happened in your relationship, and you know it can be frustrating, and even pretty hurtful.

That’s why we need to stop those kinds of conversations, and start creating real connection when we talk with our partners.

In this week’s episode, we’re talking all about validation- what it means and how it can improve the loving connection in your conversations.

You can listen now on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, and Google Play. And if you like what you hear, subscribe and share so more couples can find the podcast!

https://marriagingpodcast.com/episodes/marriaging-podcast-episode-25-validation-and-your-relationship/

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/validation-and-your-relationship/id1480583462?i=1000465807905

How to make your partner feel loved. You and your partner can both experience validation and understanding. It's what you need in your relationship.

02/12/2020

We all tend to argue about the little things way too much. We want to be right. We want our partners to see it our way. And when they don’t, we get upset. We feel unheard, unseen, misunderstood. 🙁

Here’s the thing though: they won’t always see it our way. We won’t always be right. And we can choose to spend our time dwelling on this, but it only leads us down a path of negativity and disconnection. ◽️

Or we can choose love first. We can pick our battles. We can accept that we won’t always get along or agree with our spouses, and that we can choose to love instead of argue. 💕

What do you need to let go of today to love your spouse better? ❤️

02/10/2020

You want to feel connected with your spouse. But what does that really mean, and how can you make it happen?
Everyone talks about seeking closeness and connection. You probably even know how it feels to be connected.

I want to help you and your partner achieve meaningful, lasting connection. And I know that takes work. Lots of work over time.

That's why I'm excited for you to hear this week's episode. I interviewed Dr. Rebecca Jorgensen and she shared such helpful and encouraging insight into connection- how our bodies and hearts need it and achieve it.

You can listen now on most major podcast players! Please share it and leave a rating and review to help more couples find it!

https://marriagingpodcast.com/episodes/marriaging-podcast-episode-24-attachment-and-the-physiology-of-connection-with-dr-rebecca-jorgensen/

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/marriaging-the-marriage-podcast-with-jessica-fairfax/id1480583462