07/22/2022
A wee back story for everyone who follows Ms. Wong.
“Sure.”
“What do you do with your broken places?”
“I’m not sure I know what you mean.” “Well I figured this out at the library.”
“Not at school?”
“You are getting to be quite the joker.” Esperanza looked D in the eye. He recognized how serious she was. The smile had disappeared. She continued, “I was at the library yesterday and I found this thing Hemingway wrote in his novel Farewell To Arms and I wrote it down. Would you read it out loud for me?”
“I guess. Why?”
Esperanza handed him a crumpled paper.
D looked at it. “So, why?”
“I want to hear it out load. That’s all.”
“Well here goes. The world breaks everyone and afterword many are strong at the broken places.”“Thanks”“Sure”“You know that got me to thinking, stuff breaks, toys, cars, bones.... and that hurts. But there’s a different kind of hurt. I think deep inside everybody, even mean people, they’ve got broken places too. Maybe that’s what makes them so mean.” Esperanza stopped and gathered herself as if she needed to gain some strength to go on. “So, are you my friend?” “Yes.... I’m your friend.”
“Well, I’m gonna tell you a secret, ok?”
“Okay.”
“I’ve never told no one. So.. It will be our secret.”
“I promise.”
Esperanza drew a deep, hardest thing you’ll ever ever do, deep breath. She looked at D and for the first time he could see in her eyes not the fire he was used to seeing, that wild child, Muhammed Ali, I can take what ever life dishes out fire, instead he recognized pain. She exhaled and whispered, “I’ve got broken places. I’ve got broken places and they hurt.” She made a fist with her right hand and hit her chest. “It hurts here.”D was silent.Esperanza was fighting back tears, “What do you do with them, your broken places?” D looked at Esperanza.“I hate them.”
Me too. I want to scream sometimes it hurts so bad.”
D stood up so suddenly it startled Esperanza. He then let out the loudest scream she’d ever heard. Esperanza instinctively stood and followed suite. She screamed her biggest scream ever. Her scream carried with it the pain of knowing her parents did not want her, the unspeakable horror of always being the new kid at every school, being the kid with no friends, the little girl who defended herself by becoming smarter than everyone else and having that turned against her, she even screamed at her unruly hair that had been the butt of countless taunts, she screamed at always trying to be one step ahead of the bullies and the bureaucracy that moved her from one loveless foster home to another. She screamed with all the rage that had boiled inside her for all of her eleven years. Then they screamed together. They raged even more at their broken places. Jonah and the kids on Kite Hill turned and stared in bewilderment and everyone on the playground stopped and watched. In that moment they didn’t see or hear anyone else, they just screamed. It was over rather quickly. They both sat back down in the swings exhausted, wiping away tears, they looked at each other, smiled, and without saying a word they understood that they made each other stronger in their broken places. The next day they had decided to meet at the swings. It was Sunday and D wasn’t working because he’d been fired and of course no school for Esperanza. D had gotten there first and when Esperanza plopped down she said, “ Solved any mysteries Mr. Kite Detective.”
“I’m working on one.”“
‘Yeah?”
“I’ve been thinking.”
“I knew I smelled smoke.” they both laughed.
“You like picnics?”“
“I don’t know. You mean like Yogi and Boo Boo?”“
“Again with the ancient knowledge! You don’t know? “
“I’ve seen ’em but I haven’t ever done one.... why?”
Well, see those folks over there at the tables?”
“Yeah?”
“They’re friends of mine.”
You got friends? Just kidding.”
“Don’t be serious.”
“Now who’s being a wise guy?”“
“They’re having a picnic.”“
“Sweet. You going?”
“Not unless you come with me.” D held out his hand and Esperanza took it. They started walking towards the picnic table. Alfonso was barbequeing, the Aoki’s were busy setting the table, Gracie was laughing with her new shrink boyfriend, and Mort was reading a newspaper. Lola waved and began walking towards them. “
It’s Lola! You ever heard of the Kinks Mr.D?” D nodded but he was thinking of another song. She let go of his hand and ran towards her Big Sister. As Esperanza ran the sunset created a halo around that massive head of hair. For a moment time stopped.
For the rest of his life Dimitri Ouspenskaya would remember that day at the swings. He thought about it when he and Lola were married and Esperanza was the bridesmaid. He thought about it on the day that Lola and he signed the papers to make their adoption of Esperanza official. He thought about it the first time Esperanza's heart was broken and he had to talk Lola out of breaking someone’s legs. There were many many days and many times that he thought of that day on the swings when they had screamed at there broken places.
Though D never really thought of the Hemingway quote, instead he thought of a song by Leonard Cohen called Anthem.
Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in.
