10/18/2024
So it beginsâŚ
As I sit on the couch reading a book, B is unloading the dishwasher. He is chatty, telling me stories about schoolmates misbehaving.
At first, Iâm irritated, because Iâm having to reread the same page, not able to focus while heâs talking.
Then it dawns on meâŚhe wants to talk to me, without my provoking a conversation. I quickly put the book down, turn toward him and fully engage in what heâs saying.
I ask probing questions, nod my head and say, âYeah. Then what?â
Iâm interested and hanging on every word.
Then he says, âMom,â
âYeah,â replying as though itâs another schoolmate story and having no idea whatâs really in store.
âA girl asked me to the dance.â
My breath stops, as I gasp for air from being startled. Not what I was expecting him to say.
In the most unlike-Jessica manner, my voice has an even tone when I reply, âDo you want to go?â (If you know me, you know my voice has tons of inflections, I easily get excited, and my voice is rarely ever even toned đ)
He says, âYes.â
Keeping my cool demeanor, âThen you can go.â
He replies, âThis is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. No one else asked me.â
I pause then say, âBeing asked the first time is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, but itâs not a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity overall. Others will ask you. Youâre funny, fun, handsome, smart, friendly, and likeable. Youâll be asked again, and youâll ask others. Plus, you can always go with your friends. I always went with friends, and it was a lot of fun. Whatâs the name of the girl who asked you.â
Iâm on pins and needles waiting for the details. He replies, âAt lunch. Well actually her friend asked me for her. Her friend says, âBrenda (not her real name) wants to go to the dance with you.â I said, âOkay.â Then her friend said, âIs that a yes or no.â I said, âYes.ââ
He pauses and then continues, âThen I didnât know what to do, so I asked my friend who has a girlfriend. He told me what to do and wear, but I donât remember anything of what he saidâ
âWell, youâre not having a girlfriend until youâre 21.â I always make up random high age numbers when I donât want him to do something (date, ride a motorcycle, etc).
âWhat?! Thatâs ridiculous.â
âMaybe, but still. Okay, when is the dance?â
âNext Friday. Iâm thinking I can ride my scooter.â
âNo, Iâll drop you off. Youâre only 11.â
âWhat about when Iâm 12?â
âDo I look dumb?â
âWell, yeah, butâŚâ
I cut him off, âI look dumb?!â
âOh, no! Thatâs not what I meant.â
âB, thatâs only a two-week difference. You turn 12 in two weeks. You can either accept a ride from me or not go. Are there chaperones?â
He lets out a big grunt with a sigh and says, âFine, but you canât stay. Yes, there are.â
âI donât want to...â
Then again, maybe Iâll volunteer to chaperone đ
Iâm open to any and all advice or suggestions on this new phase with B. Oh, and Iâll definitely be taking my own stress management advice to keep stress at bay during this phase.