09/04/2021
LONG POST. MY GRAMMAR AND PUNCTUATION SUCK HAHA. BUT WRITING THIS THE BEST I CAN.
So after 2 months I finally got to talk to elliana's doctor and go over her MRI results. Elliana's seizures have been getting bigger and lasting longer. So I had so many questions and wanted them answered and told them I'm not waiting til her November appointment to figure this all out. At this point the doctor said we can try anything for her at this point to try to maximize her quality of life. We are winging her off one of her medications and upping her other medications to try and help with her seizures. I want to try the CBD but I don't want to try it at the same time of us decreasing some and increasing because how would we know what's working? She is trying to get her more alert she said to give her a better quality of life. She said her brain is shrinking everywhere throughout her head. I just finally started working a month ago I feel I need to quit again and spend as much time as possible with Elliana. Elliana's nurse then asked me the hardest question I never thought I would have to answer is she a DNR? When I first started a home nurse I said yes but after finding out how serious she is I have decided she is probably going through enough now I don't want to put her through that. Here is what the doctor write in her after report notes
Reviewed head MRI report which showed progressive advanced atrophy. Progressive atrophy can be seen in SPTAN1 mutations. Patients with severe neurodevelopmental outcomes and progressive atrophy associated with SPTAN1 can heave early mortality including SUDEP (Sudden Unexpected Death in Epilepsy). I'm a hot mess right now I don't know why this had to happen to us. I'm not over my brother yet at all. It has been bothering me bad this last month. I'm hurt, sad, confused I don't know how anyone can prepare for this or what to do. If anyone has any suggestions on how to handle this please let me know. Everyone know my anxiety is all ready threw the roof and I already have a fear of dying and thinking about it so I have so much going on in my little brain. Lbs.