Struggle Well School

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Struggle Well School

Podcast: Struggle Well School

04/01/2024

The boy was baptized on Easter by our pastors and his dad who has faithfully discipled him for 12 years. My heart is full.

03/04/2024

My son hates sand with the vigor of a thousand suns. I hear about it every time we go to the beach. 🙄 I was AMAZED to hear him volunteer to be buried today. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Watching him relaxing in a situation I know makes his skin crawl, I was convicted about how I’m handling uncomfortable situations in my own life.

AND the fact that he couldn’t see (sand on his goggles) brought to mind that the only time we actually NEED faith is when we can’t see what’s next.

The last 4 months have been remarkably difficult for my family and we have had to make heartbreaking choices we never saw coming. For some reason this moment at the beach was a great reminder of what God calls his people to: endurance in hardship and faith when you can’t see what’s next. Be encouraged. 💕

11/27/2023

This is my least favorite text to date. 🐜

11/16/2023

GIVING ME LIFE RIGHT NOW:
Reading dead people refreshes my soul. My favorite at the moment is Elisabeth Elliot. She talks about the joy she finds at having a "laid-down life."

As Christ-followers we can completely trust God. He has never failed us yet and He isn't about to start.

Some questions to ponder:
✨ How would I show up if I believed a joyful, laid-down life was
possible?
✨ What can surrender right now to experience that joy?
✨ Do I trust God enough to lay down my biggest concern?

What author makes you stop and think?
Leave it in the comments below!

11/14/2023

MOMS OF LITTLES:

Encourage your kids to solve their own problems instead of dictating how it's done or even doing it for them. If we're honest, sometimes our "helping" is actually us controlling the situation so it's done faster and better (am I right?!).

When kids find their own solutions they grow in confidence AND learn they are able to do hard things. PLUS YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO IT! Everybody wins.

The boy child vomits at the drop of a hat. When he needed to clean something gross today, he felt a bandanna and goggles would help him get the job done without all the throwing up. 🤷🏽‍♀

✨ Did it take longer than I think it needed to? Absolutely.
✨ Did he do it so quickly it might have been done poorly? Yep.
✨ Did he use creativity to solve his problem and get another rep
in realizing he can do hard things without vomiting? Yes and
yes!

Comment below with the thing you have the hardest time letting your kids do on their own!

11/14/2023

This morning I was all “beach hair don’t care.” In the cold hard light of the workplace I think I might could’ve cared a touch. 😂

11/13/2023

HOW MANY OF THESE DOORS DO YOU HAVE?

Having places in our minds we "just don't go" is not a neutral choice. Even if we stuff or ignore painful thoughts, we are still affected.

When we tamp down the negative emotions 2 things happen:
🛑 we are exhausted because stuffing our emotions is a lot of work! It's like trying to hold a beach ball under water- a lot of energy spent and it still pops up!
🛑 we squash our ability to feel all the good emotions when we are afraid to feel the negative ones. We end up living in the middle "meh" place.

Strategy to struggle well:
When an uncomfortable emotion comes up today, excuse yourself to go be with it for a moment. Don't eat chips or pull out your phone or do the dishes. Get really crazy and JUST SIT THERE and give your feelings a friend. Be with yourself and be still. It will pass and you will live through it.

The more you do this, the less you will need to overeat, overspend and use substances because you are learning to be WITH yourself instead of abandoning yourself.
It's a process.
It's not fast.
It's 100% worth it.

Bravely try it and come back and tell me how it went!

In this with you! 🤟🏼
-Em

11/10/2023

HOW MANY OF THESE DO YOU HAVE?

Having places in our minds we "just don't go" is not a neutral choice. Even if we stuff or ignore painful thoughts, we are still affected.

When we tamp down the negative emotions 2 things happen:
🛑 we are exhausted because stuffing our emotions is a lot of work! It's like trying to hold a beach ball under water- a lot of energy spent and it still pops up!
🛑 we squash our ability to feel all the good emotions when we are afraid to feel the negative ones. We end up living in the middle "meh" place.

Strategy to struggle well:
When an uncomfortable emotion comes up today, excuse yourself to go be with it for a moment. Don't eat chips or pull out your phone or do the dishes. Get really crazy and JUST SIT THERE and give your feelings a friend. Be with yourself and be still. It will pass and you will live through it.

The more you do this, the less you will need to overeat, overspend and use substances because you are learning to be WITH yourself instead of abandoning yourself.
It's a process.
It's not fast.
It's 100% worth it.

Bravely try it and come back and tell me how it went!

In this with you! 🤟🏼
-Em

11/09/2023

DEAR MOMS OF TEENS:

When your kids were tiny, you took one million pictures of them because they were adorable and happy and you couldn’t help it.

The game changes a little when they get bigger. They are moody porcupines and awkward.

My advice: continue to take pictures of your kids.
👉🏼They will roll their eyes.
👉🏼They will complain.
👉🏼They will secretly love that you want to remember moments
with them. 💕

📸

11/09/2023

Why don't we read the Bible as if it was real?! It's not a fairytale or a bedtime story for kids

I challenge you to ponder the implications of what Ephesians 2 means for you personally. Think on that and it will give you a different day!

11/06/2023

we forget to try new things as adults

11/06/2023

DO YOU QUIT ON YOURSELF? 😬

My best teacher always told me to "stick with it a little longer." I hated it then but it's served me well.
✨
Renewing our minds is a slow process and you might not know if you're making any progress.
✨
Stick with it a little longer! The alternative is staying where you're stuck and that's no fun.
✨
COMMENT BELOW with what you're sticking with a little longer!

11/02/2023

Message version about love not noticing other people doing it wrong

11/01/2023

WANT A BETTER MARRIAGE? 🛑

Hands down the best advice we have gotten:
During a disagreement, remind yourself your spouse is not your problem.

2 truths about the situation:
💕 we have an enemy who hates your marriage. HE is your problem. 1 Peter 5:8
💕 we are fighting spiritual forces way scarier than your husband. Ephesians 6:12

This is such good news because it means you get your teammate back! You are in charge of YOUR thoughts, feelings and actions. He is in charge of his.

When we assign meaning to their behavior (like this proves "he doesn't love me" or "now we will never have enough money") we muddy the water and the actual facts get lost. Living this way accidentally adds suffering we don't need to experience.

Share this with a woman who needs to hear that her husband is not her actual problem!

10/31/2023

TO THE MOM BEFORE YOUR NEXT FAMILY OUTING:

Hi. I put expectations on outings with my people. It never goes well. Some popular ways I mess this up is with these assumptions:

▪ this will be nonstop fun
▪ everyone must have a good attitude
▪ everyone will be as "into" it as I am
▪ everything will go according to plan

I have yet to have any of these happen but if I'm not careful I think they "should" and if they don't, there's something wrong with me and my people.

Turns out, me and my people are just people and sometimes our attitudes and situations stink.

We recently rented a pontoon for my husband's birthday and it was a mixed bag. There was some sleeping (when I personally thought we should be "awaking"), the restaurant we wanted to boat up to was closed, and at one point we may have hit another boat...I don't want to talk about it. 🙃

Life is 50-50. It's simply not all fun all the time and the fewer expectations we have the better. The wise mom will realize this ahead of time and be on the lookout for sneaky accidental expectations she has and get rid of them before they have time to not be met.

10/30/2023

Are you accidentally letting your inner toddler run the show? 😬 READ!

I used to regularly not reach my goals and I realized I was making two huge mistakes:

➡ I was "interested" in achieving my goal but not "committed." I was SO INTERESTED that I thought that would surely equal committed but the results didn't lie. They are not the same!
➡ I let my inner toddler (who only wants to do fun things) was running the show. She is a great kid, but she is lazy and quite moody. 😜 Grown up Emily who is getting comfortable with being uncomfortable drives now. The game has changed completely.

Comment below the goal your inner toddler doesn't get to be in charge of anymore. Can't wait to hear!

10/17/2023

Don’t know who E.W. is but they’re onto me. Wanted to put this here in case you needed it. 💕

10/11/2023

I have not met anyone as skilled at taking thoughts captive as my Grandma. She has had 91 years of practice and it’s yielded an amazing life of joy and health. She is truly a gift to everyone around her.

10/06/2023

It’s not a competition but my siblings are better than yours. But again, it’s not a competition so don’t feel badly.

09/27/2023

“Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.” -Wayne Dyer

You might not believe me but your worst relationship and most painful situation don’t need to change for you to have a completely different experience. Your thinking about them is all that needs shifting.

“But you don’t understand my mother-in-law…my finances…my coworker…”

PRACTICE a different (higher, lovelier, more gracious) thought and not only will you have a better experience with that person/situation, you will ALSO be further down the “renewing your mind” journey. It’s a win/win.

In this with you,
Em

09/16/2023

Your brain believes you.

The problem: most of the thoughts we have about ourselves are subconscious so we don’t even know they are happening!

🛑 Stop scrolling 🛑 and comment one positive “I am” statement you want to practice this week. Be intentional about who you are becoming.

Here is mine: I am safe.

I didn’t feel safe growing up and reminding myself that God has things under control changes how I show up in ALL situations.

Leave your “I am…” statement in the comments and practice it this week!

09/09/2023

“How annoying…”
Having to move 100 bikes from behind my car in order to leave is not my *favorite* but it is evidence that my people are finding their people in this new land. I can get excited about that.
What annoyance in your world could actually be cause for celebration if you looked at it differently?

08/29/2023

13th annual fall drink picture. Spicy take alert: I’m loving the apple one much more than the pumpkin one. Which is your favorite? 🍁

08/24/2023

“Our thoughts either build walls or bridges.”

I intend to build bridges but I’m a wall-builder sometimes on accident. Isn’t this a great way to filter our thoughts? Hope it helps!

08/23/2023

Pop over and make sure you’re still subscribed to the pod! I’ll be back in your ear holes in a couple weeks and I don’t want you to miss it! 💕

08/21/2023

I have secret expectations I don’t realize are living in my brain. All they do is mess up my relationships and my present moments. An example- on this trip to the arboretum, I expected to stay dry but that’s not how it went down.

Strategy to struggle well: identify an expectation you have of a situation coming at you today. Decide instead to be open to whatever actually happens without “should-ing” on the situation. 💩 What expectation are you putting down today? Tell me in the comments.

08/17/2023

The quality of your thoughts = the quality of your life.

God gifted us the ability to watch our thoughts. We are the only species that can! He also said to renew those minds because they can easily get out of whack.

Strategy to struggle well:
Pick one garbage thought and replace it with a more true thought. Notice how your emotions shift. Watch for proof that your new thought is true. You find what you look for.

What garbage thought are you kicking out today? Leave it behind in the comments.

08/11/2023

All I wanted was an artistic capture of the kids walking away over a bridge. This is what I got instead. 😂

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Videos

Spotting pride in my life today in the timing of this house sale. It’s going too sloooow. 🐢 😵 Also, while I’m at it, I’m feeling bratty about why my paycheck so dang small after working so hard all week? It’s all gross pride. I think I know better than God and (turns out) he says that is something He opposes. Eew. Let’s stop that. Where is pride popping up for you today? Leave it below if you’re feeling brave.

Our realtor had a lifestyle photo shoot to sell our house…but we weren’t invited. 😂 The model family was awesome though and we had a lot of fun. Just a couple Beauties and some Beasts breaking down barriers.

Thank you in advance for buying my house. You are already prettier. #modelinglifestyle

Psalm 3 in a nutshell: tell God about it and take a nap.

Still go even if you’re not at your best. And your hygiene is in question… #makingfriendsasanadult

My current parenting assignment is above my skill set. I’m running to God every couple minutes (which is honestly the way I want to live anyway) but this is intense! Wanted to cheer you on in case you’re in a refining season too! #strugglewellschool #bossyourbrain #preachingtomyself

Have you seen Hunting Nemo? Me either.

Why don't we read the Bible as if it was real?! It's not a fairytale or a bedtime story for kids I challenge you to ponder the implications of what Ephesians 2 means for you personally. Think on that and it will give you a different day! #strugglewellschool #bossyourbrain #Ephesians2

Let’s get you unstuck WHILE meeting new friends! Be part of the first ever struggle well school group coaching class! #strugglewellschool #bossyourbrain #renewyourmind

Buying a major fixer-upper and working on it at night after we get off our regular jobs has been a huge adventure (that I haven’t always enjoyed)! It’s nice to see some parts coming together! Here’s a before and after of the entertainment center. ✨ #lessismore #clutterfree #homemanagement #homerenovation #stressfreehome #homemakingtips #intentionalhomemaking #homemaking #workingmom #workingmomlife

DO YOU QUIT ON YOURSELF? 😬 My best teacher always told me to "stick with it a little longer." I hated it then but it's served me well. ✨ Renewing our minds is a slow process and you might not know if you're making any progress. ✨ Stick with it a little longer! The alternative is staying where you're stuck and that's no fun. ✨ COMMENT BELOW with what you're sticking with a little longer!

WANT A BETTER MARRIAGE? 🛑 Hands down the best advice we have gotten: During a disagreement, remind yourself your spouse is not your problem. 2 truths about the situation: 💕 we have an enemy who hates your marriage. HE is your problem. 1 Peter 5:8 💕 we are fighting spiritual forces way scarier than your husband. Ephesians 6:12 This is such good news because it means you get your teammate back! You are in charge of YOUR thoughts, feelings and actions. He is in charge of his. When we assign meaning to their behavior (like this proves "he doesn't love me" or "now we will never have enough money") we muddy the water and the actual facts get lost. Living this way accidentally adds suffering we don't need to experience. Share this with a woman who needs to hear that her husband is not her actual problem! #strugglewellschool #bossyourbrain #youarenotmyproblem #familyconnection #intentionalmarriage #marriagehelp #marriagetips #relationshipadvice #godlywife #gratefulwife

Are you accidentally letting your inner toddler run the show? 😬 READ! I used to regularly not reach my goals and I realized I was making two huge mistakes: ➡ I was "interested" in achieving my goal but not "committed." I was SO INTERESTED that I thought that would surely equal committed but the results didn't lie. They are not the same! ➡ I let my inner toddler (who only wants to do fun things) was running the show. She is a great kid, but she is lazy and quite moody. 😜 Grown up Emily who is getting comfortable with being uncomfortable drives now. The game has changed completely. Comment below the goal your inner toddler doesn't get to be in charge of anymore. Can't wait to hear! #strugglewellschool #bossyourbrain #comfortablebeinguncomfortable #selfcare #stopstopping #fitnessjourney #strongnotskinny #faithandwellness #loveyourbody #strongerthanyouthink