09/20/2024
People are trash man, they are head. They are very few reasons to keep this side of the dirt. If I live in a world where I only glimpse from the window till I pass on. There would be no peace only trauma and pain all. I am seeing fewer and fewer reasons to wake up, be sober, and fight the tough road of well ess just getting a glimpse. 2017 Mom and dad, 2018 with Alicia whe we last spoke, and kissed, hugged and laughed. 2018 my brother and family, and I nephews who think I am dead I am told. 2020 Ali for 1.5 hours a cross the table no hug and no love, just distance and pain that I treasure. Dawson and family since a year ago July not even a call or pick. Went to Rehab asked for pics and not a good luck or even thought to tell me themselves no. Just being held a countable for things I did not do. Sickens to think after all the hard work I did with those to change some sins of the father I will get to die homeless and without my blood. I used to think the glimpse was worth it but I am sure I didn't raise my children yo be so damaging and if I did then a nother reason I am in awe of this world. Struggling with a God who allows so much devastation. I had a family, and a home and animals, I friends with a dream job and full Christ centered life and one day my world stopped turning and one by one they all fell away as the diagnosis came. In the end ICU 2 days on vent and so with I was never woken. Sorry for the rant holding it in. Trash man just trash. I won't have funeral just straight to the boiler if science refuses me. Gee BBQ sounds wonderful... EVERYONE