The Deep Syxx Project

04/28/2023

-The Champion Mindset-

I know, I know…the Bucks were eliminated. They lost. Horribly. (I also know I’ve been MIA for a LONG time) However, was it meant to happen just so we could hear this master class from Giannis in humility and the champion mindset? His response to a reporters question after losing in the first round about if he saw this season as a failure was masterful! This was an extremely important message on how he approaches life and WHY he has had the success he has had on the court and off.

Failure is a word we throw around far too often. The negative power of that word is tremendous! I watched his interview and read the transcript multiple times today. It got me reflecting on my own life. Have I allowed the power of the word failure to dictate my story? Failure leads to doubt, doubt leads to fear, fear leads to inaction. Everything we do in life we have the possibility of not succeeding at. When it doesn’t work out, we have a choice. We can give up and not try, or we can learn from the setback and move on and work toward the next step. We may have setbacks again. Maybe multiple times. What sets a champion apart is the will to get up and keep moving, Evaluate what changes need to be made and work toward the next step without fear. If you win, you STILL evaluate and see where you can improve next time. Gracious and motivated in winning as well as loss. This is the champion mindset.

As much as I hated watching the Bucks get eliminated, I’m grateful for this message from Giannis. This is a message that should be taught to all children from early on. Some adults could benefit from it as well.

02/17/2023

Rocky’s speech to his son. Movie, yes. Fiction, yes! Truth? 100%!!!

“Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place and I don’t care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard ya hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done! Now if you know what you’re worth then go out and get what you’re worth. But ya gotta be willing to take the hits, and not pointing fingers saying you ain’t where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody! Cowards do that and that ain’t you! You’re better than that!”

02/13/2023

Okay, lost what I put on. No looking back now! Not huge, but a loss is a loss.
I promise I’ll get back to the videos soon! Still kind of getting my feet back under me from the last couple of weeks.
I’ll get there.

LET’S GO!!

02/13/2023

Still wasn’t a fantastic week. But a loss is a loss, and we press on.
I promise I will get back to the videos soon. I’m just getting my feet back under me. Thanks your your patience and support!

02/09/2023

It’s almost Friday! Are we ready to do this?? LET’S GO!!

02/07/2023

It’s been a couple of weeks. I’ve been quite busy with things since my friend passed. Diet, working out, were the last things on my mind. I didn’t weigh, I didn’t watch my diet very closely, and I only went to the gym a couple of times. I haven’t even thought about doing update videos either. I’m not sure I will do one yet this week. I promise I will get back to that soon.

I didn’t realize until I was putting together this post that the last time I weighed was the day I received the news that he passed.

I know Bob would not want me to quit on anything that is important to me. That’s how he lived his life.

I am happy to see that I only rebounded 2 lbs, though! Considering how I’ve been eating, that’s not too terrible. I can make that up quickly. I was scared to step on the scale this morning. Here we are, though.
I’m looking forward to moving on!
LET’S GO!

01/24/2023

There will be no update video this week.

Yesterday, I lost a friend, a bandmate, and someone I looked up to. I still can’t believe you’re gone, Bob. I can’t get my mind around this. I’m still asking myself if this is somehow going to be untrue.

I know this, like the love for music that we shared together, Bob would not want me to quit. I just need a few days to process this and I will be back next week with a weekly update.

I miss you so much already, Bob. Music won’t feel the same without you.

01/23/2023

New week, new goals!

Time to evaluate and reflect on the last week, then move forward and attack the new week!

New YouTube video out soon!

01/19/2023

The goal might feel big. The task might feel impossible. RecognizIng the small victories, though. That is when you will see it add up!

Focus on the process, not the goal. The goal will be reached before you know it!

01/17/2023

The first weekly update has been posted to my YouTube channel! Please give a like and a follow!

Thanks for all your support!

Week one review and introduction!

01/13/2023

I’m not kidding when I say I had The Circle of Life going through my head when I was looking over this…

I can relate to this. Same cycle I have gone through so many times! As I’m sure some of you have as well.
I’ve been asking myself every day this week, “What makes this time different from the other 874625783 times”?
The truth is, I don’t know. I’m still looking for that answer myself.
What I’m working through is where I went wrong in the past. Where did I slip up? What broke down my will power? The most important question of all is, How do I prevent it from happening again?
I am hoping as I start this journey (again), and I’m aware of these questions, that I can answer them and have a plan to move past them.

That’s the plan, anyway…lol!

LET’S GO!!

01/13/2023

The Deep Syxx Project with John Hodge YouTube channel is up!!

Stay tuned for videos updating my progress, sharing recipes, discussing workouts, and all the highs and lows of me getting fit by 50!

Subscribe to my channel today!

01/12/2023

I’ve got a couple of workouts in this week. I’ve always felt there were pros and cons to working out in the evening. My issue has always been finding that motivation after working all day and being drained emotionally and physically from it. Plus working out in the evening for some reason keeps me awake at night.
Working out in the morning has always served me well. I get a good boost of energy from it and feel I’ve accomplished something before my day has even started. It gets the endorphins going and puts me in a mood to attack the rest of the day.
That doesn’t mean I won’t pass up an opportunity to workout in the evening if I feel it!

What’s your preference for workout time?

01/11/2023

Okay…I was a little curious this morning. The scale was calling out to me. I tripped and stepped on it! Any other excuse I can give you!
I had promised myself I was only going to weigh the same day each week.
I was in a habit for awhile where I was weighing every morning! That was CRAZY!! The anxiety it caused me was nuts!
Here I am, 4 days after first official weigh in. I’m sure most of it is water weight, so I’m not getting myself overly excited about it. Excited enough to share, though!! Progress is progress.

01/10/2023

How I start my mornings! With Bulletproof coffee!
Cup of coffee-I usually go one cup and a half because 8 oz just doesn’t seem enough. So I brew one 8 oz cup, then a 4 ounce using the same pod.
Two TBSP butter-grass fed, unsalted
Two TBSP MCT oil. Helps with brain power and alertness.
Add-ins:
1 tbsp monk fruit sweetener
A couple dashes of cinnamon
-There are other options as well. This is just what I like as it tastes closes to coffee with cream and sugar.
This will keep me full until lunch time. It does take some getting used to because it’s all fluid and it’s buttery. I still drink a fair amount of water during the morning along with this, so I get slosh gut sometimes. It can make you a little burpy also. Be careful of DISASTER PANTS too! (Google it, you’ll see) Once your stomach adjust to those couple of things, this is a great way to start the day. It’s actually delicious!
Now that I’ve turned you on to that, go try some!!!

01/09/2023

I told myself if I was going to do this I was going to be completely open about everything. I meant to post this picture with my first weigh in. I just couldn’t find the courage then. It still guts me now. It was the first time I looked at a picture of myself over and over again and just felt really sad, angry, and a little defeated. It made me question why I’m doing this and if it’s even worth it.

How did I allow myself to be comfortable like this for so long?
Please do not take this as a “feel sorry for me” post. It’s anything but that. I’ve got fairly thick skin….even if something upsets me, it’s doesn’t keep me down long.

I need to look at this picture more often. Even as I put this in my rear view mirror. I need this constant reminder of where I don’t want to be anymore. I need this to remember not just the aesthetic look of myself. But the physical discomfort this has brought to me. Both personally and socially.
Even if I somehow can’t hit my big goal by fifty, I can’t be this anymore. I have so many things I want to do. So much life I want to explore that I haven’t been able to before because I felt limited. So many people to live for.

I. Can’t. Fail.

The fight has just begun.

01/08/2023

Bulletproof
Intermittent Fasting
Atkins
High Protein
Low Carb
HIGH carb
Mediterranean
California
Cut this, cut that, eat more of this, eat less of that.
We are bombarded literally DAILY with what and how we should eat! The fact is, ALL of them work! I need to find what works best for me. I may try more than one if need be.
The biggest questions I am asking myself are:
Is it healthy for me?-what might be healthy for a friend might not be healthy for me. What are my nutritional needs?
Is it sustainable?-can I continue on this lifestyle after I hit my goal? Can I allow myself wiggle room for certain things and not fall off the wagon?

I am looking to cut weight, of course. But I am looking to do it safely and steadily without losing muscle mass. I would actually prefer to build as I go. From what I understand, that’s not easy to do!
I’ve done a couple of the diets listed. The one I tried most recently was the Bulletproof Diet. I lost weight pretty quickly. It was fairly easy to do. This is where I am going to start. Limited carbs, lots of grass fed meats, limited fruits, certain veggies are a no-no. It’s pretty straight forward and simple. I will keep you updated as the week goes on.

One more thing: GO PACK GO!!

01/07/2023

This is the “new” project….

First weigh in of 2023. Here are some of my goals.
Short term: 8-10 lbs per month
Long Term: 60 lbs by My 49th birthday 11/3/2023
Ultimate Goal: 220-230 lbs by my 50th birthday 11/3/2024.

I know I can do it. I’ve started strong before. Pushing through plateaus, and not allowing myself to get too comfortable with my progress are key.

I’ve lost a decent amount of weight before. I would get over confidant and tell myself, “I can have one donut”. Every time, I would spiral from there. EVERY TIME! My biggest loss was 68 lbs! I was less than 23 lbs away from seeing the downside of 300 lbs. something I hadn’t done in almost 20 years. I got complacent, gave in to my cravings, and put all of it back on. Rinse/repeat. Although I haven’t had a loss like that since then.

I feel good today. I feel motivated and sharp. I couldn’t wait until Monday. Why should I?

It’s kickoff day! I got this!

LET’S GO!!

01/06/2023

Ben Franklin once said, "When you fail to plan, you plan to fail".

In a lot of ways, failing to plan is how I have lived much of my life. Do I feel like I have failed? No. I feel I set a course and a precedent in certain aspects of my life that have allowed setbacks. When I would run into a setback or get comfortable with outcomes, my plan would fall apart. I used to feel like a failure. I used to allow myself to be brought down by setbacks. I also realized that I was averse to success. I was afraid of it. When I would get too close to it, I would self-sabotage. I can't do that anymore. I'm not wired that way anymore.

Today, I start a new journey. I know the timing is PERFECT to say this is another New Year's resolution that is SURE to go sideways.

You may be right! It could!

Why? There are various reasons. Motivation, accountability, inspiration.
I have followed many people who have taken the journey to better health and weight loss, and they've inspired me. Either I am coming into their progress too late, or they started posting after they lost the weight and are in a maintenance mode. I feel like I don't see too many people who are actually beginning the journey. I'm sure they are out there! I'd like to be one of them. To share my journey from beginning to maintaining, and beyond.

I'm on the homestretch of 50 years old. I have pains I did not have even 10 years ago. My body age is not even close to being in synch with my minds age. I need to reverse this. I've beat my body up for years. It's time to treat it better. I want to be around for a while. At the very least, fight to be.

I'm not expecting perfection. Nor should you. As much knowledge as I have gained by dieting and exercising before, I'm still learning. This will be a fluid process. The more I learn, the more I will share.

I'll share my success as well as my setbacks. Setbacks, after all, are where we learn the most about ourselves and our resolve. There will be a running account of everything on here as well as Instagram. Eventually, there will be a YouTube page set up for weekly updates that may possibly be translated to the podcast for people who'd rather not look at me! LOL! I will share my weight, my diet (Maybe share some of my recipes), workouts, how I feel both physically and emotionally about my journey. Bear with me over the upcoming weeks as I roll these things out!

This is just as much to help keep myself accountable as it is to share with, and maybe even inspire, others. I am grateful to have the voice and the platform to do so, as well as the support of those around me who as encouraging as they are inspiring.

Okay, so it was a little longer winded than I thought. I have a lot to accomplish in on year and 10 months! I hope you all come along for the ride! This should be fun! Let's go!

01/02/2023

The Deep Syxx Project is not done! I’m still here!
There are some changes on the horizon that I have been working on and will be coming very soon!

NO! This is not a “new years resolution” thing. It’s a timing thing!

More details coming this Friday!

See you soon!

12/04/2022

I read a post this evening in a Facebook group I belong to. The post read like this: “How can people hate you so much after years of trying to put things right?”

I seriously feel this persons pain. I know what this feels like.

What I finally had to learn is that I needed to have the ability to forgive myself. I needed to be at peace within me. Guilt is something you carry inside. No one makes you feel guilt but yourself.

You can’t ask, beg, request, demand forgiveness from anyone.

If you can truly work on forgiving yourself and you show change, you are free. You cannot concern yourself with forgiveness from others. They need to make that decision on their own.

It’s a tough road to travel. However, it’s worth the peace you will find.

11/16/2022

It’s been a long time….

Am I the only one who’s noticed that the less we laugh, the angrier and more anxious we become?

When we don’t laugh, we lose the ability to cope with certain situations in life. Interpersonal relationships suffer, health suffers. Mental health suffers.

Laughter is truly medicine. And not just for the soul. There are measurable health benefits to laughter.

Have you noticed that society has become more introverted and angry?

Laughter brings people together. When we take ourselves and society too seriously, that’s dangerous. We are seeing the effects of that as time rolls on.

Stop taking yourself so seriously. Learn to find some humor in each day. Smile, laugh, and enjoy life. You’re HERE!

07/16/2022

Isn’t this the damn truth! How often do we find ourselves in our lives just getting by? Barely breathing? Not being able to actually enjoy things we’ve worked so hard for?

I’m not just talking about material things. I’m talking about friends, family, ourselves!

Remember to breathe. Work your ass off, sure! Don’t bury yourself in it, though. Appreciate the time and effort you have put in to be who you are. Make time to work on and love yourself, and not just work to keep a roof over your head.

Self love and self care are so important. LIVE!!

06/27/2022

To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure, but risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.

06/24/2022

Been a long, long time…..so much has gone on. New job, etc etc….but that’s not why I’m posting at 1:30 in the morning.

I just returned from Summerfest, and an amazing show by one of my favorite bands of all time, Anthrax.

People I know have asked me time and time again, “why metal”?. “Why the screaming, loud, angry, obnoxious music?

That right there is exactly why I love it. Metal has saved my life more than I can count. The angst, the aggression , the loss, the hate, the sorrow, all brought out in music.

No matter how old I get, it never leaves me, it never hates me, it never makes me feel alone, abandoned, or unloved. It makes me feel like I can let go. Like I don’t have to be a certain person for a short amount of time. Like I don’t have to be “me”. I can just “be”. And that me, no one can touch.

I do like who I am. However, metal takes me back to a simpler time. A time where I didn’t give a s**t what people thought of me when I was listening to it when I felt less than, or invisible. Where the only thing that mattered was the crushing guitar, the screaming vocals, the heavy as f**k drums, and the lyrics that spoke to me, and me alone when I was listening to them. They still do.

I’m 47 years old with bad knees, and a bone spur in my right heel that can hurt like hell. I’m also, according to “science”, morbidly obese.

Tonight, though, I moshed my ass off. I kept up with guys half my age, and in much better shape than me. I. DON’T. QUIT! Even though I was in a fair amount of pain when I left, and likely will be when I wake in the morning, it was worth every damn minute of it.

Why do I love metal, and why am I in a metal band at this age you ask?because it makes me feel free. It’s my release. It’s my home.

Not many people can say that.

I love all kinds of music. ALL kinds….

But Metal, and the family within it, will always be my home. The music of misfits and outcasts. The hurt and the lost.

We don’t need your approval.

06/04/2022

Hey everyone! I’m sorry it has been awhile! A lot has happened in the last month or so! I’ve been super busy! Good things, though! My new job. My oldest son graduated college. I’m taking my youngest son to see one of our favorite bands tonight! It’s been a very busy time!

So, why am I so sad today? Something is off. Something is missing. What’s worse is, I just don’t know. I know not every day can be perfect. I can’t smile all the time. I just have this hopeless, empty feeling in my gut. Just a super low feeling. I’m WAY off today.
I just want to scream. I want to run away. Fight. Cry. Something!

I feel confused, lost, alone, hopeless, helpless, afraid, sad, angry. I want to do damage. But that’s not my nature. Not anymore.

Tonight I get to go see one of my favorite bands and one of my favorite vocalists with my son…. That is my joy for the day.

F**k, I really need to get back to the gym….nothing could pull me out of a funk faster than a workout.

I really hope you are all well.

05/27/2022

You make one tiny change, that’s a step. Then you make another….that’s another step. And another. And another. And another. Sooner or later your life is much different from where you left it. So many steps in the sand behind you where you started your journey. So much unmarked sand ahead of you. So many changes you’ve made. So much growth!

However, there is more work ahead. Do you stay comfortable where you are at? Or do you trudge on through the sand, carving your path?

Tomorrow is my last day at my current job. I don’t know what lies ahead of me at my new job. I know, though, that I am excited and ready to face the challenges. Excited to embrace the change.

Over the last year plus I have grown, changed, evolved. And still am. Something wasn’t right, however. Something felt like it was anchoring me. Keeping me from flying. From moving on. I’ve had to let go of a lot of things to find inner peace. But I wasn’t quite there. I knew almost everything had to change. Including my job.

As weird as it my sound, I could feel the shift in my energy when I went there. Not the usual bitching about having to be at work. A real change in how I held myself. How I spoke. How I thought. And I new. It was time.

I am going to miss my friends and coworkers. I am very excited, however, for my new endeavor.

Tomorrow I say goodbye. I not afraid, though. I’m changing.

05/21/2022

Get your house in order and the rest will fall in place as it’s meant to. Be patient, not complacent. Keep moving, keep growing, keep fighting.

05/18/2022

One step at a time. Discipline and patience are the most important keys to success!

05/13/2022

Sometimes you roll the dice and you win. Sometimes you roll the dice and you lose. However, if you never roll the dice, you will never know.

You can recover from losses. They can be turned into wins. Taking no action is a guaranteed loss every time.

Go get yours!