Asher Witmer

Asher Witmer Author and podcaster - Join me on the journey of becoming theologically anchored and emotionally healthy so we can love others well.

I am a son of God, husband, father, and difference maker.

What if the part of you that keeps running to p**n…isn't your enemy?What if it's a younger, frightened, overwhelmed part...
11/20/2025

What if the part of you that keeps running to p**n…
isn't your enemy?

What if it's a younger, frightened, overwhelmed part of your soul trying to protect you from emotions you never learned how to handle?

That idea may feel uncomfortable, even wrong.
But it's more consistent with how the human heart works than we may first think.

P**n becomes a survival strategy more than it becomes a way to fulfill a high s*x drive.
It steps in when we feel alone.
It numbs stress.
It distracts from shame.
It gives temporary relief when we're overwhelmed.

Is it sinful? Yes.
Is it destructive? Absolutely.
But it's also trying to help—in the only way it knows how.

When we demonize that part of ourselves and look on it with disgust, we never learn what it's trying to protect.
We never heal the wound beneath the behavior.

But when we learn to listen to our internal world…
when we meet our hurting parts with compassion rather than contempt…
we open the door to real transformation.

I explore this idea more fully here:

👉 https://www.asherwitmer.com/what-if-the-part-that-runs-to-p**n-is-trying-to-help/?utm_campaign=coschedule&utm_source=facebook_page&utm_medium=Asher%20Witmer

Explore why the part of you that runs to p**n is trying to protect you—and how Jesus heals your inner world with compassion, not shame.

𝙒𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙄𝙛 𝙔𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙋𝙤𝙧𝙣 𝙎𝙩𝙧𝙪𝙜𝙜𝙡𝙚 𝙄𝙨𝙣'𝙩 𝘼𝙗𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙇𝙪𝙨𝙩?You've been here before. You promise never again, delete your browser histor...
11/18/2025

𝙒𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙄𝙛 𝙔𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙋𝙤𝙧𝙣 𝙎𝙩𝙧𝙪𝙜𝙜𝙡𝙚 𝙄𝙨𝙣'𝙩 𝘼𝙗𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙇𝙪𝙨𝙩?

You've been here before. You promise never again, delete your browser history, and pray for forgiveness.

But a week later—after a stressful day or a lonely night—the cycle repeats.

You hate it. You feel guilty and weak. Even dirty. Ultimately stuck.

Why do I keep going back? What's wrong with me?

Is your lust just too strong? Do you lack the willpower to experience victory? Or is something deeper driving you?

𝘽𝙚𝙮𝙤𝙣𝙙 𝙒𝙞𝙡𝙡𝙥𝙤𝙬𝙚𝙧: 𝘾𝙤𝙥𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙋𝙖𝙞𝙣, 𝙉𝙤𝙩 𝙅𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝘾𝙝𝙖𝙨𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙋𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙨𝙪𝙧𝙚

From the outside, it looks like an addiction to lust.

From the inside, it feels like a magnetic pull you can't resist.

What if I told you that p**n isn't just about craving pleasure? It's about managing pain.

Neuroscience shows that p**nography can numb stress and trigger dopamine releases in the same way addictive substances do, hijacking the brain's reward system and offering temporary relief.

In other words, p**n often becomes a functional savior—a quick fix when life feels too much.

But here's the bigger picture: at the core of every sin is a story of self-protection.

It started in the garden.

Adam and Eve felt shame and fear, so they hid. Covered themselves. Tried to manage their pain. And God came walking toward them saying, "Where are you?"

That's still the story of man today.

We feel anxious, unseen, or unsuccessful—and instead of trusting God's goodness, we grab for fig leaves of our own.

P**n just happens to be one of the more powerful ones.

So while viewing p**n is horrific, your struggle isn't proof that you're especially perverse.

It's proof that you're human. That you carry pain. That you've learned to self-soothe instead of receive love.

𝙏𝙤 𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙪𝙚 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙖𝙗𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙚𝙢𝙤𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙖𝙡 𝙡𝙤𝙜𝙞𝙘 𝙗𝙚𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙙 𝙥𝙤𝙧𝙣 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙥𝙚𝙣𝙨 𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙅𝙚𝙨𝙪𝙨 𝙢𝙚𝙚𝙩𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙥𝙤𝙧𝙣 𝙪𝙨𝙚, 𝙘𝙡𝙞𝙘𝙠 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙡𝙞𝙣𝙠 𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚 👉 https://www.asherwitmer.com/what-if-your-p**n-struggle-isnt-about-lust/?utm_campaign=coschedule&utm_source=facebook_page&utm_medium=Asher%20Witmer

11/18/2025

You've tried so hard.
You've promised yourself you'd quit.
You've prayed, confessed, started over…
and yet the cycle continues.

Most Christians assume p**n struggles come from lust or lack of willpower.
But that's rarely the truth.

Underneath the behavior, something deeper is happening—emotionally, neurologically, spiritually.
And if we never address those deeper places, we end up repeating the same pattern on loop.

I just released a free 3-part training that unpacks what's actually going on beneath unwanted s*xual behavior.
👉 Rewiring Desire: A Gospel Journey Toward Sexual Wholeness

Part 1: P**n as self-protection, not just rebellion
Part 2: The internal war you feel—through IFS and the gospel
Part 3: A practical path toward healing, connection, and wholeness

This isn't about trying harder.
It's about understanding how your heart was wounded, how those wounds shaped your habits, and how Jesus meets you where it hurts—not where you pretend to be okay.

Ready?

Click the link and let's walk this road together. https://www.asherwitmer.com/what-if-your-p**n-struggle-isnt-about-lust/?utm_campaign=coschedule&utm_source=facebook_page&utm_medium=Asher%20Witmer

11/17/2025

From the outside, it looks like an addiction to lust.

From the inside, it feels like a magnetic pull you can't resist.

What if I told you that p**n isn't just about craving pleasure? It's about managing pain.

Neuroscience shows that p**nography can numb stress and trigger dopamine releases in the same way addictive substances do, hijacking the brain's reward system and offering temporary relief.

In other words, p**n often becomes a functional savior—a quick fix when life feels too much.

But here's the bigger picture: at the core of every sin is a story of self-protection.

It started in the garden.

Adam and Eve felt shame and fear, so they hid. Covered themselves. Tried to manage their pain. And God came walking toward them saying, "Where are you?"

That's still the story of man today.

We feel anxious, unseen, or unsuccessful—and instead of trusting God's goodness, we grab for fig leaves of our own.

P**n just happens to be one of the more powerful ones.

So while viewing p**n is horrific, your struggle isn't proof that you're especially perverse.

It's proof that you're human. That you carry pain. That you've learned to self-soothe instead of receive love.

Read the full article here: https://www.asherwitmer.com/what-if-your-p**n-struggle-isnt-about-lust/?utm_campaign=coschedule&utm_source=facebook_page&utm_medium=Asher%20Witmer

11/15/2025

Jesus didn't call us to win culture wars.
He called us to make disciples.

And disciple-making isn't a slogan. It's not just "preach the gospel" and walk away.
It's walking with people through addiction, heartache, broken relationships, s*xual confusion, and the quiet patterns that keep sabotaging their lives.

It's letting them see how we struggle too—how we resolve conflict at home, how we repent, how we grow.

Meanwhile so much of our passion gets drained by politics—choosing one side's "evil" to oppose while ignoring the other.

But imagine if we poured that same energy into simply crossing the lawn to our neighbor…
into having dinner with the person who's wrestling with gender identity…
into actually walking with people instead of shouting at them from a distance.

This is the work Jesus asked for.
This is where the kingdom breaks in.

Watch the full episode 👉 https://www.asherwitmer.com/are-christians-called-to-win-culture-war/?utm_campaign=coschedule&utm_source=facebook_page&utm_medium=Asher%20Witmer

Most guys think their p**n struggle is about lust.But what if it's not?What if the thing that keeps dragging you back ha...
11/15/2025

Most guys think their p**n struggle is about lust.
But what if it's not?

What if the thing that keeps dragging you back has less to do with s*xual desire…
and more to do with pain, fear, loneliness, anxiety, or shame?

In my own journey and experience of walking with men, one pattern keeps coming up:
P**n becomes a coping mechanism long before it becomes a "lust problem."

It numbs what we don't want to feel.
It soothes what we don't know how to name.
It offers relief when our souls feel overwhelmed.

That's why recommitting to purity never works.
You can't "repent" your way out of pain you've never acknowledged.

If you've felt stuck, defeated, or confused…
maybe it's because the real issue isn't lust.
Maybe it's the story underneath.

I wrote about this here—an invitation to look beneath the surface and find healing where it actually begins:
👉 What If Your P**n Struggle Isn't About Lust?
https://www.asherwitmer.com/what-if-your-p**n-struggle-isnt-about-lust/?utm_campaign=coschedule&utm_source=facebook_page&utm_medium=Asher%20Witmer

Discover why your p**n struggle isn’t just about lust but unresolved pain, self-protection, and disconnection—and how Jesus meets you with compassion, not shame.

11/14/2025

“We dream of having perfect relationships, but in reality, relationships are messy. God has mercy for that mess.” -Paul David Tripp

11/13/2025

When Jesus told His disciples they'd receive a hundredfold what they gave up to follow Him, He wasn't just talking about heaven.

He was promising a new kind of family — the family of God — here and now.

If that doesn't sound like good news to us, maybe it's because we've stopped living like family to one another.

🕊 Watch or read the full reflection → https://www.asherwitmer.com/belonging-in-singleness/?utm_campaign=coschedule&utm_source=facebook_page&utm_medium=Asher%20Witmer

The Head Covering Is a Sign of SubmissionGrowing up in a conservative Anabaptist church, I heard this one all the time. ...
11/11/2025

The Head Covering Is a Sign of Submission

Growing up in a conservative Anabaptist church, I heard this one all the time. The idea went like this: men should not cover their heads when praying as a sign of submission to Christ, and women should cover their heads as a sign of submission to men—especially their husbands. It was taught as a kind of spiritual dress code, with submission sewn into every stitch of the fabric.

You might think that after going to Bible college outside the Anabaptist world, I would've thrown this teaching out the window. Many do. Some claim Paul's words in 1 Corinthians 11 don't really apply anymore. Others say what matters today is simply "a heart of submission."

But what if I told you this passage isn't about submission at all? (See https://www.asherwitmer.com/head-covering/?utm_campaign=coschedule&utm_source=facebook_page&utm_medium=Asher%20Witmer )

If we're not careful, we can read 1 Corinthians 11:3-5 as if Paul is putting women in their place—making the head covering a symbol of female subjection. But that's not what the text says. Paul writes, "For this reason a woman should have a symbol of authority on her head, because of the angels" (v.10). Did you catch that? Not a symbol of submission. A symbol of authority.

And that distinction matters.

When we teach that the head covering is about submission, we not only misread the passage… we risk distorting the Gospel—shifting the focus from what Christ has accomplished to what we must perform.

Here's why that's a big deal:
1. It redefines the symbol. Paul is not trying to put women beneath men. He's affirming their spiritual agency. The head covering is a sign that women have the authority to speak—to pray and prophesy—as full participants in the body of Christ.

2. It shifts the focus from Christ to control. The broader section of 1 Corinthians (chapters 9–14) is about unity, not hierarchy. Paul's concern is honor within the community, not enforcing social rank. Teaching submission here replaces mutual respect with a power dynamic Paul wasn't trying to create.

3. It ignores Paul's emphasis on interdependence. Verses 11–12 make it clear: man is not independent of woman, and woman is not independent of man. Both come from God. If submission were the point, suggesting that women were accountable to men, I think Paul would have suggested that they have their head uncovered to mirror the instruction for men in relation to Christ. Instead, he offers a different kind of symbolic reminder—one that invites men and women to recognize each other's shared identity and role in God's family, not a sign that women are under or accountable to men.

Also, let's remember how Paul introduces this teaching: as a tradition (v.2). Biblical traditions are not prerequisites for salvation. They're reminders of what God has done and what He promises to do. Like the Year of Jubilee or the Lord's Supper, these practices point us to God's grace—not to our performance.

When we make the head covering a rule for proving female submission, we do two dangerous things:

• We shift our trust from the finished work of Jesus to outward behavior.
• We turn a reminder of unity into a weapon of division.That's not just a minor interpretive error. It's a distortion of the Gospel.

The truth is, Paul gives women authority—not restriction—in this passage. And when we get that wrong, we risk silencing key voices God is calling to speak.

We don't need more badges of religious performance. We need reminders that, in Christ, we all stand equal—accountable to Him, empowered by His Spirit, and called to build each other up in love.

(Excerpt from 7 Dangerous Teachings Infiltrating Your Church Today https://www.asherwitmer.com/dangerous-teachings-in-church-today/?utm_campaign=coschedule&utm_source=facebook_page&utm_medium=Asher%20Witmer )

Seven subtle teachings drifting churches—Christian nation, head covering, Ham myth, Jezebel, s*x ethics, prayer-only fixes, Zionism—discern biblically.

11/10/2025

Lust and love both begin with desire.

But they end in two very different places.

Lust demands: "I need this now."

Love surrenders: "God, what do You want to do in me through this?"

Desire itself is not what's wrong when it comes to lust. Yet, even good desires can become disordered when they move from invitation to insistence.

Bad theology rarely walks in wearing horns. 👿It sounds biblical. It feels familiar. But dig deeper, and you realize it l...
11/08/2025

Bad theology rarely walks in wearing horns. 👿

It sounds biblical. It feels familiar. But dig deeper, and you realize it looks more like the beast than the Lamb.

In this piece, I explore seven teachings quietly drifting churches away from Jesus—ideas that sound right but subtly reshape the gospel.

🔗 Read here → https://www.asherwitmer.com/dangerous-teachings-in-church-today/?utm_campaign=coschedule&utm_source=facebook_page&utm_medium=Asher%20Witmer

Seven subtle teachings drifting churches—Christian nation, head covering, Ham myth, Jezebel, s*x ethics, prayer-only fixes, Zionism—discern biblically.

11/07/2025

Political idolatry views people on the other side as enemies to destroy rather than neighbors to love.

Allegiance to Jesus loves your neighbor who votes or sees things differently, refusing to demonize them.

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