31/10/2021
My wife Nicole and I learned the hard way, that it’s not about how much we knew that would save our marriage, but how much of that knowledge we are willing to apply, and how much of our flesh we are willing to deny.
Communication has always been our struggle. So much so, that our marriage counselor called us “trigger happy,” which the dictionary defines as “recklessly advocating action that can result in war.” Many of days our “wars” negatively impacted our children—this grieves my heart even as I type this today. Thankfully I’ve learned to point the finger at the person in the mirror because in marriage, change must start with the individual first, then he/she can see clearly how to help the other (Matt 7:4-5).
Yes, it takes two people to make a marriage successful—no one will be able to hold with two hands that which requires four to carry. However, as I share in my book Battle Cry, I’ve discovered that when a husband becomes a comprehensive man and communicates his true feelings with composure, his wife is able to drop her guard and do the same—knowing that each other’s intent is not to harm but to express what offended them. We are not each other’s enemy.
This beautiful moment was captured by our marriage counselor during a psychotherapy session based in biblical principles and designed to release the trauma that hinder spouses from truly becoming one!
Real Talk, Real Issues, Real Solutions. 
