Jedi J

03/08/2024

I officially got the pleasure to play Valve's new game Deadlock. Wasn't super impressed

02/07/2024

So this was my first season as a comp TF2 engineer. The team was an interesting bunch and very uncoordinated. Most of them never showed up for games or scims. Refused to listen to call out or advise from more advanced players.

29/05/2024

A new game a found that is super fun but also really stupid gameplay wise. Great movement mechanics for a game this simple.

27/05/2024

The weight of the world on my shoulders lies,
A burden that's crushing, a heavy sigh.
Stress and depression, they creep in slow,
And fill my heart with darkness, making me go.

The anxiety creeps in, like a thief in the night,
Stealing my peace, my joy, my inner light.
It whispers lies, and I begin to believe,
"That I'm not enough, that I'm not worthy to live."

The weight of expectations, the pressure to perform,
The constant need to be perfect, to conform.
It's exhausting, the struggle to be strong,
To keep going, when it feels like I don't belong.

But then I remember, I am not alone,
There are others out there who know this pain.
Who feel the weight of the world, like I do,
And struggle to find their way, through the darkness and the gloom.

I breathe in deeply, and let go of the fear,
I remind myself, that I am strong, and I am clear.
I am not defined by this darkness and pain,
I am more than this, I am worthy of love and of love again.

I take small steps forward, with each passing day,
And slowly but surely, I find my way.
I learn to prioritize my own needs and desires,
To take care of myself, and to stay alive.

I am not alone, and I am not afraid,
I am strong, and I am capable, and I am made.
To rise above the darkness, and to shine so bright,
And to find my way through the stormy night.

I hope this poem helps you feel less alone in your struggles with stress and depression. Remember that you are strong, capable, and worthy of love and care.

02/04/2024

So I have started playing a new game lately, I may have a short clip uploaded later today.

02/04/2024

Let me know if you can relate to this:

For about the past ten days, it seems like very little has gone as planned. From the simplest things like missing an ingredient I had intended to use in the kitchen, to bigger things like an entire electrical outlet that just stopped working, every day seems to have been one surprise after another, and mostly not the pleasant kind.

I showed up this morning for a medical appointment that was set and confirmed three weeks ago, only to find that the appointment hadn’t been set correctly and was showing as “canceled” – oh, not just “canceled,” but “canceled by patient.” I assure you, I didn’t cancel this appointment. Ultimately, they got me in, and it wasn’t a huge deal, more annoying than anything. But the frustration I felt while we were straightening things out got me thinking about preconceptions and expectations.

We continually measure things against the way we think they “should” be. But how do we decide what that looks like? I didn’t have an easy answer, so I asked ChatGPT:

Deciding how things should be is a complex process influenced by various factors, including personal values, societal norms, ethical principles, cultural beliefs, and practical considerations. Here are some key ways in which people determine the way things should be:

Personal Values: Individuals often base their decisions on their personal values, which are deeply held beliefs about what is important or desirable in life. These values can encompass principles such as honesty, compassion, justice, freedom, equality, and responsibility.
Ethical Principles: Many people use ethical frameworks to guide their decisions about what is right or wrong, just or unjust. Ethical theories such as utilitarianism, deontology, virtue ethics, and moral relativism provide different perspectives on how to evaluate and prioritize ethical considerations.
Societal Norms and Laws: Societal norms, cultural traditions, and legal systems play a significant role in shaping people's understanding of how things should be. . . .
You get the idea. So this is a pretty normal phenomena if even a large language model predictive text generator understands it, right? I mean, at least a few of you can relate to this feeling, right?

It’s pretty easy to see the bad side of this phenomenon: When our expectations are frustrated, we can get frustrated. But, being the thorough sort, I asked ChatGPT how such expectations could be harmful:

Having preconceived ideas can be detrimental for several reasons:

Biased Interpretation: Preconceived ideas can bias your interpretation of new information or experiences. Instead of objectively evaluating something based on its merits, you may filter it through your existing beliefs, leading to misunderstandings or misjudgments.
Closed-Mindedness: Preconceived ideas can lead to closed-mindedness, where you're unwilling to consider alternative perspectives or new information. This can hinder personal growth, learning, and understanding of complex issues.
Conflict and Division: Preconceived ideas can contribute to conflicts, especially in interpersonal relationships or societal contexts. When individuals cling rigidly to their preconceptions, it can lead to misunderstandings, arguments, and division.
Missed Opportunities: Preconceived ideas may prevent you from exploring new opportunities or ideas that don't align with your existing beliefs. This can limit your potential for innovation, creativity, and personal development.
Stagnation: Holding onto preconceived ideas can lead to intellectual stagnation. Without challenging your beliefs or seeking new information, you may remain stuck in outdated or flawed thinking patterns.
Inaccurate Judgments: Preconceived ideas can cloud your judgment and lead to inaccurate assessments of people, situations, or concepts. This can have negative consequences in various areas of life, such as decision-making, problem-solving, and relationship-building.
Overall, while it's natural for individuals to have preconceived ideas based on their experiences and upbringing, it's essential to recognize their potential drawbacks and strive to maintain an open mind, be willing to reconsider beliefs in light of new evidence, and actively seek out diverse perspectives. This approach fosters growth, understanding, and better decision-making.

Simple, right? Avoid all the bad effects of expectations by keeping an open mind. So here’s an exercise for this sort of open-mindedness that I found in one of my favorite little books on mindfulness:

Notice the next time you use the word “should” (whether you think it or say it).
Question the source of the “should.” Why do you believe something should be a certain way? Why do you think you should or shouldn’t have done something or behaved in a certain way? What can or can’t be done to change it?
Make a regular practice of observing when you use “should.” Investigating why you use it will help you be more susceptible to learning, rather than being stuck in old ways of thinking.
I like this exercise. Sometimes it shows me nothing more than I expect something to happen a certain way solely because I want it to happen that way, or because I just didn’t think that it could be different than I expect. Whatever the reason, though, having preconceived ideas can prevent us from seeing things as they really are, and can certainly be a source of frustration.

Also, I am convinced that ChatGPT was the culprit who canceled my medical appointment this morning.

19/03/2024

I joined the Mandalorian Raiders flashpoint with a couple players who have never played that flashpoint before. As we were walking them through it, I thought I should get some footage

17/03/2024

I haven't played this game in years. I recently got back into it. I was watching my child at the time of recording this and I got alot of s**t for not being max geared. Or being able to do the rotations properly.

27/01/2024

Get ready for intense thrills in this epic video! Watch as I dominate the battlefield in Call of Duty Mobile, wielding the powerful Hijacked SMG. Witness my quick reflexes, precise aim, and strategic gameplay as I eliminate my enemies with style. Don't miss out on the action – like and share this video, and join me in the adrenaline-fueled world of CODM!

24/01/2024

First time playing Over Heroes. It’s a really clunky game that could have some huge potential if gameplay was overhauled.

21/01/2024

This month's theme is on tradition, yet originality and I'd like us to consider the idea: the keys to peace.

Trespass deals with a lot of different things we have already seen before. But we already know the story. We've seen many like it. We might even know what we are supposed to “learn”. It might be a good opportunity to get on our soap box and say that this and that is wrong with the world, but I'll remind us that society is made up of individuals, people whose actions impact the world. As we begin to take our steps into the new year, let us consider the following:





The first key to peace is to listen

Chairman Chi Cho says “I have led my people since before you were born. I have seen a hundred civilizations rise and fall through force of will”



Chairman Chi Cho is not willing to listen. Not to his partner the senator, not to the Jedi and not to the Talz. It's obvious he's been in the thick of conflict for a very long time and that has made him jaded. It therefore causes him to make assumptions about life and about people, which ultimately costs him.



What about you? Have you been in a situation so long you already “know” how it's going to go? This can cause blindspots. I encourage you today to examine where your blindspots are. Sometimes this can be done alone, but often it is helpful to do with others. As we listen, we grow.



The second key to peace is patience

How much of the conflict the Talz and Pantoreans experienced could have been resolved with patience? The patience to attempt to understand one another, themselves, and how they might appear to each other.

This path is a hard one. Often in our desire to be Jedi we lose sight of what that really means. Chairman Cho was attempting to be a good leader and he was doing what generations before him had done. Saying what they said.

And we might also be wearing a mask of our own. This may impact how we act. We might want to be totally new people when we walk into these halls, but we cannot rush the process. We walk in with baggage . Day by day, week by week, year by year, we shed that baggage to emerge authentically in the world.

What baggage are you holding? Just becoming aware of what might be hindering you is enough. The Force can handle the rest.



The third key to peace is courage

It is courage and not recklessness. Courage and not over extension. Just courage. The willingness to show up day after day and do the work.

Consider the dialogue between Senator Chuchi and Master Obi Wan. Here it did not matter who was the most experienced, but who needed to do the work. Capacity only grows with our willingness to do challenging things. Where is The Force calling you to have courage?





In summary then, this new year: listen to others, have patience with yourself, and be courageous.



May the Force be with You

17/01/2024

The original trilogy ends on a happy note. The Dark Side is defeated and all of our favorite characters survive. But, according to J.W. Rinzler's behind-the-scenes tell-all The Making of Star Wars: The Return of the Jedi, the seminal tome about how Episode VI was made, that wasn't the original idea.

In early Star Wars story meetings, writer-director George Lucas considered an ending for Return of the Jedi that was much, much darker. As he pitched it to co-writer Lawrence Kasdan, "Luke takes his mask off. The mask is the very last thing—and then Luke puts it on and says, 'Now I am Vader.' Surprise! The ultimate twist. 'Now I will go and kill the [Rebel] fleet and I will rule the universe.'"

Kasdan loved the idea, telling his boss, "That's what I think should happen." But Lucas ultimately decided to go a different way, feeling like Luke going evil was a bit too dark since the Star Wars franchise "is for kids."

16/01/2024

The R2-D2 we all know and love speaks only in beeps and whistles, a robot language that most of his friends can understand. But in the original draft of Star Wars, written in 1974, R2-D2 spoke in complete sentences.

Even more alarming, he was not the lovable goof he would later become. He was actually kind of a bully, berating his pal C-3PO with insults like, "You're a mindless, useless philosopher," and, "You're nothing more than a dim-witted, emotion-brained intellectual. Why you were created is beyond my logic systems."

15/01/2024

Ben Burtt, the man behind Darth Vader’s breathing and the lightsaber hum, created most of the languages in the galaxy far, far away. Ewokese was based on the Kalmyk Oirat, a language spoken in Russia after Burtt heard it in a documentary. In fact, most alien languages in movies are created by rearranging sounds and words in real languages, because making them up out on your own is really hard. Yub nub!

14/01/2024

that nowhere in the Star Wars movies is there a reference to the “Light” side of the force. In the original movie, the Force was presented as an all-encompassing aspect of life. The “Dark Side” was more of a shadowy corner of the Force, rather than a fully developed B-side. As the series progressed over 40+ years, the idea of duality grew from such a massive good vs. evil story. The prequels made it pretty official by focusing on the whole “Chosen One bringing balance” runaround. Still, the closest the movies have gotten to identifying the Light Side is Kylo Ren struggling with “the call to the light” in The Force Awakens. So what is the true nature of the Force? Is the Force a balanced yin and yang, or is it ~everything~ and that just means there’s a dark corner? The answer is: Star Wars is a fairy tale that is fun to talk about.

31/12/2023

As Jedi, you have seen the movies. Have you read some of the books? There is canon and comic books and even cartoons to consume. There is much to do about a Jedi.

In your study or findings, have you come across these three questions?

"What and where is your selfless path?"("Where does it hail from?")

"What do you do with the voraciousness of life?" ("What do you do with all that potential?")

"Who are you and what part do you play in your life?"("Are you the monster or the Sith and can you be?")

It is my hope that we pass understanding to one another, as well as myths and Star Wars stories. Have you taken the time to think about a few things the sagas touch on? To be honest, most epics do this. Most epics touch on these basic and introductory ideas.

The selfless--

What is or where does your selfless path come from? Do you have one? What does a Jedi selfless path look like? Take some time to postulate or think about it. Do you have one and what is it?

There is a question I ask others and it is this, what of others? What are you going to do with the other 8 billion people here on earth with you? Here is where the ego can be found and given the attention it can use. Take some time for your ego. Figure it out. Take a study or do a class on it. Every organization, culture and group of people have ego lessons. Ours is no different. Think and Non action is what we recommend for Jedi. We have teachings and Maxims and Doctrine. Follow the ideas and find the path. We recommend you work on the inside and journal things. Balance, contemplation, clarity, awareness, non-attachment, humility, perspective, authenticity, learning, compassion, realization, and most of all, understanding are the things we want everyone to practice. In this mix, here we are as Jedi, together.



The voraciousness of life--



The human potential is amazing. It is terrible and amazing. It exists in every one of us. The potential to fail miserably or rise above any outcome is always present. This can seem as problematic if one is not prepared or unaware of the need. At any given time, I can make bad choices. Anyone can really. In our life's and in our paths, things are very dualistic or polar. In the varying ability of one or the other- of off and on - of up and down- this way or that- there is a vast amount of potential for outcomes. What will or what do you do with all that? What have you done as Jedi with this potential?



Are you the bad guy?

Now, I know today is 2023 so most terms like "bad guy" and "good guy" are becoming old and unusable so I give you this, what part do you play in the play of life? What parts do you play for your own path and for someone else's? In the Star Wars movies and canon, it is a common reminder that any Jedi can be a Sith and the thought of us being that person is most times frightening. In our path or life, we can take the efforts and energy to reach or strive for a common goal. One of those we actually share but do not often share with one another is ... am I the jerk or the Sith? I will tell you; the potential is there.



It is up to us to take things where we choose. In some cases, our beginnings can be chosen. If you choose to be a Jedi, there is so much to it. When you first begin it can be daunting. Take the time you need to ask yourself these questions. Have you found anything? and what have you found? It is my goal to share understanding with you. There is a gift from the Force itself that binds you to things when you do this type of development.

Here are three elementary questions from the movies. Have you asked? The ability to formulate your own faith is amazing. Be careful. It is also dangerous. Hence the warning.

May the Force be with you all.

30/12/2023

The formula for building a good deck is.

Or the formula I use is 6:6:49

Or 6 “Option A” 6 “Option B” with a total deck size of 49. That way cards like Dark Magician or Red Eyes actually gain consistency moving to more cards.

26/12/2023

Here I am again playing more Duel Links using the F2P Luna Light Deck.

25/12/2023

This is my latest rank up duel. I was easily able to beat my opponent in just 3 turns total. Using Luna Lite as a deck. Apparently the deck is really powerful and can dominate if played correctly.

22/12/2023

01/10/2023

Today finds us as one. I choose to be Jedi and therefore, we are bonded by the Force. As a Jedi, we are human first. The common denominator is what we choose to yolk up to or choose to be bonded with. This is sacred to me. I speak and communicate with more Jedi than family some days and that is ok too. We choose to be Jedi . In this choice, we find each other every day.

This idea can tend to let in a bit of the haughty. Today's sermon is very clear, I aint the one you want. If you want results, you will have to do it all on your own. You will have to go through the journey to find the boon or the elixir you seek all on your own. You, as a individual cannot do as I do. You cannot do exactly what I did. It would mess your plans up. What I am getting at is this, everything that has happened to me is mine. Yet, we all develop in the same way. We will go through the same caves and we live in the same ordinary world yet, " What's the difference between me and you? " The proper answer is "There is none friend."



Each of us has our own path and life we can navigate and develop in ways we see fit. It is the gift of liberty we take that give us the freedoms we have and practice and, sometimes share. You are as free as I am or as trapped and stuck as me. Which is it today friend and Jedi? Are you free and clear or are you on the path that takes you there? Have you started this path or are you reluctant to do so. Its not easy and to be honest, "Once upon a time " is really right now if you think about it. Every story and every Myth can be used and passed for the rest of your life. Thats a big thing.

So today, please know in my own path, there are amazing and horrible possibilities, all of which can happen to you as well and even worse or more exciting. The human potential is amazing, terrible but amazing and STILL available as much as it was yesterday. We have this treasure here and now. We have the liberty to share things and ideas. DO it. "You either is or you aint." Do or do not, there is no try. Where does today find you Jedi? In what wake? Your or someone else's?

23/08/2023

Just a little boredom.

01/07/2023

The first time I’ve played rush in a very long time. Really need to play this more

21/06/2023

Decided I was bored at work and just played a couple rounds of CODM. This was the best round I had.

13/06/2023

Today, I want to reflect on the importance of mindfulness, self-reflection, and the journey towards wisdom. In a certain movie, we heard the phrase, "keep your mind here and now, where it belongs." These are wise words, reminding us to stay present in the moment. However, there is also a time and place for looking inward, for introspection and self-examination. We commonly use meditation for this.

Meditation has been a fundamental practice for each of us. It is a means of quieting the mind, organizing our thoughts, and finding our own inner balance. There are various descriptions of meditation, but ultimately, its purpose is to help us work through the thoughts and concerns that occupy our minds and to connect with the Force. As Jedi, we make decisions every day, ranging from small to significant, and from time to time, we may stumble and make mistakes.

This is well known, failure is the best teacher as my old coach used to say.

So, when we mess up, do we realize it in the moment, can we? It is essential to recognize that failures and mistakes are our greatest teachers. Often, it takes time for us to acknowledge our errors, but being mindful enables us to recognize our missteps and consider alternative options. It is through this process that we grow in wisdom and learn from our experiences.
Now, you may wonder, why is self-reflection such a big deal? After all, making mistakes is part of the human condition. That is true, but as Jediists, we have access to a level of training that far exceeds what many individuals experience in their entire lives in terms of self-discipline and belief. We are not mere cookie-cutter characters; we have the capacity to acknowledge our fallibility. But what else can we do with this knowledge? How else can we serve? How else can we improve?

Knowledge is valuable, as it grants us familiarity and expertise. However, wisdom lies in knowing when to apply that knowledge and when to refrain from doing so. We have all encountered elders who have told us, "You will understand when you are older," and we have felt the frustration of not fully grasping their meaning. The answer lies in meditation. It is the most powerful tool we can develop—a profound conversation with the Force about who we are as individuals, how we act, what we have done, and how we can learn and gain wisdom from our experiences.

Now, I believe that gaining insight is a skill. Once that takes practice, no small amount of patience and a dose of bravery

Many think it is just knowledge, tempered by wisdom. Lets look further.

Knowledge is valuable, as it grants us familiarity and expertise. However, wisdom lies in knowing when to apply that knowledge and when to refrain from doing so. We have all encountered elders who have told us, "You will understand when you are older," and we have felt the frustration of not fully grasping their meaning. The answer lies in meditation. It is the most powerful tool we can develop—a profound conversation with the Force about who we are as individuals, how we act, what we have done, and how we can learn and gain wisdom from our experiences.

On my journey, I can look back and see so many mistakes.

It is easy to get lost in them.

Our development of insight, one of the many blessings of life, can see that big picture. I am certain many of you have felt the struggle, especially in the beginning. The massive weight of confronting what is in our minds, our hearts and filter it through.

This remains still our hardest lesson, and a lesson that is never over. So we will be aware that this journey towards wisdom is not an easy one. It requires tolerance of pain and discomfort, as well as a strong and unwavering will. We must keep in mind, my fellow Jedi, that we are young, and we will undoubtedly stumble and fall along the way. But remember, it is crucial to get back up and keep moving forward. Reach out to your fellow Jediists, to the clergy, and to those whom you consider wise. That is why we are here—to serve as touchstones in your journey, as waypoints to help you find your way.

For the history of our world we have many wise people, some old, some young, some who do not know they are wise and some who do not understand that they are wise.

Think of these people as companions separated by a wall. You can speak, but they can not carry the metaphorical load for you. They can tell you of when they carried a similar load.

Insight is key here. The advice they give and perspective they share is not necessarily going to make sense to you. Sometimes it will not be helpful, sometimes though, it will be exactly what you need.

You will have to choose

as it is always a choice

knowledge lets you know your choices, wisdom lets you narrow it down, insight lets you choose the best for your goals.

In the end, it is important to realize that no one can make you a better Jedi except yourself. It is through your own works that you will be remembered in the context of history, regardless of whether they are considered small or great. Embrace the power of self-reflection, meditation, and the pursuit of wisdom, for they are the keys that will unlock your true potential as Jedi and people.

09/05/2023

The Kyber is a living tessellation

Of infinitely indeterminate facets;

Crystalline by appearance,

Luminous by nature.



Just as all beings are stars in the Force,

All stars have hearts of Kyber,

Perfectly reflecting all around it

And naturally giving shape to the infinity of the universe.



At this mystic center,

Of every juncture of every face,

A great light appears,

Like great virtue dawning upon the nobly born.



These lights, though many,

Are the fruit of the whole;

Appearing, guiding, and sustaining

Those who see them.



Nourished by this mystic way,

The mantle of luminosity

Rests squarely upon you-

Available at every moment.



As the universe grows in enlightenment

By this resounding impulse,

So may you too grow

In the wisdom of the Force.

07/05/2023

Pretty much sums up my daily life now lol

29/04/2023

In recent years, there has been a growing body of scientific evidence that suggests that the Force may actually exist.



One of the most intriguing pieces of evidence comes from studying quantum entanglement. Quantum entanglement is a phenomenon in which two particles are linked together in such a way that they share the same fate, no matter how far apart they are. This phenomenon has been proven to exist in the laboratory, and it is one of the most puzzling aspects of quantum mechanics.



Some scientists believe that quantum entanglement may be a manifestation of the Force. They argue that the Force is a field of energy that connects all living things and that quantum entanglement is a way of tapping into this field.



Another piece of evidence that suggests that the Force may exist comes from the study of near-death experiences (NDEs). NDEs are experiences that people have when they are close to death. These experiences often involve feelings of peace, love, and a sense of connection to something greater than themselves.



Some scientists believe that NDEs may be evidence of an afterlife, but others believe that they may be evidence of the Force. They argue that the Force is a field of energy that surrounds and binds all living things, and that it may be responsible for the feelings of peace and love that people experience during NDEs.



But the closest that science comes to the Force is when they talk about dark matter.



Dark matter is a mysterious substance that makes up about 85% of the matter in the universe. It is invisible and does not interact with light, making it very difficult to study.



However, scientists have been able to infer the existence of dark matter by observing the gravitational effects it has on visible matter. For example, galaxies are held together by the gravitational pull of dark matter.



Some scientists believe that dark matter may be a form of energy that is similar to the Force. This energy may be what gives galaxies their shape and allows them to rotate. It may also be what allows Jedi to perform amazing feats of physical and mental ability.



Of course, this is just speculation at this point. We do not yet know for sure what dark matter is or how it works. However, the similarities between the Force and dark matter are intriguing.



Both the Force and dark matter are mysterious and invisible. They both seem to have a profound effect on the universe around us. And they both seem to be connected to something greater than ourselves.



As a cleric of Jediism, I believe that the Force is a mysterious energy field that surrounds and binds all living things. It is not something to be used, but rather something to be in harmony with.



I believe that the Force is always there, flowing through us and around us. It is the source of our strength, our compassion, and our wisdom. It is what allows us to connect with each other and with the universe.



I believe that the best way to live in accordance with the Force is to be kind, compassionate, understanding, and expansive. We should strive to help others and to make the world a better place. We should live in peace and harmony with all living things, and always looking at ways to expand the conscious experience.



So whether or not science catches up to what the ancients knew, remember there is a space where we are all connected. The more that we tap into that space, the more in tune we are in the One Song.



May you feel the presence of the Force for the Force is always with you.