12/01/2026
My uncle paid me a surprise visit this New Year
I was in the kitchen washing dishes because my wife had just finished cooking when he knocked.
I noticed his mood changed when I returned to the kitchen to resume my duties.
I didn’t say anything.
My wife served him, and I brought him a chilled beer from the fridge.
His mood changed again, and he smiled happily.
After eating, I took the plates inside and washed them.
When I came back to the sitting room, he was frowning again.
Then my wife said she needed to quickly drive out to attend to her clients and reminded me not to forget to bring in the clothes I had washed, in case it rained.
As soon as I walked in with the clothes, my uncle screamed.
I dropped the clothes in shock.
“Uncle, what is it?”
“I never thought I’d see the day my brother’s son would become a woman in his own house!”
I picked up the clothes, sat beside him, and asked him to explain what he meant.
He asked if I was the wife in the house because, according to him, I wasn’t acting like a husband. He began scolding me for spoiling my wife and bringing shame to our family name.
I replied and told him that everything I am today, I learned from my parents.
He said he wasn’t surprised and that if I were his son, things would be different. He said his wife calls him “sir,” kneels to serve him, and doesn’t eat until he has finished eating.
He went on to say that his wife would never dream of asking him to wash plates or clothes, and that she would never even think of learning how to drive, let alone touch his car.
He told me my wife would never respect me, that I had become a woman in my own home. He said he would forgive me because the marriage was still new, but he could no longer stay.
He left immediately.
When my wife returned, I told her everything, and we laughed for a long time.
She started calling me her wife, and I began calling her my husband.
Yesterday, my wife suggested that we visit my uncle since we wouldn’t be able to see him once we resume work because of our busy schedule.
We decided to pay him a surprise visit.
When we got to his compound, we heard loud noises coming from inside. Things were breaking, and people were screaming.
It was terrifying.
I was concerned and asked the people sitting outside why they were so calm despite the chaos coming from inside the compound.
They looked at me and laughed. They said it was normal—that the husband and wife fight every day and keep them entertained, and when they get tired, they stop.
Suddenly, a man ran out almost naked, wearing only boxers. He was shouting, holding his head, and bleeding. He kept crying, “My head o, she don break am again. Help o, my head o!”
“Jesus!” my wife screamed.
The people in the compound sighed and started going back into their houses.
When the man got close to me, lo and behold, it was my uncle.
“Uncle?” I screamed.
He was visibly shocked. For a brief moment, he froze—then quickly pulled himself together, changed his steps, forced a laugh, and began to explain.
“Ah… we’re just acting drama—emm, skit—that these young people do. Don’t be afraid. My wife and I are content creatures.”
“It’s content creators, sir,” I corrected.
“Yes, that one. So, em, please come back another time. In fact, I’ll call you, because we’re still acting the skit.”
“If dem born you well, come inside. I’ll break your head again. Anima!” It was his wife, shouting from the house
He laughed painfully. “This my wife sha, she can act eh. And she won’t stop like this until we finish.”
My wife and I looked around for the camera, since it was supposedly content, but only the amused neighbours were there.
“Oya, na bye-bye eh,” he laughed sheepishly, refusing to move an inch as he watched us walk out of his compound.
The End
Ajebo Writer
©️Kingdavid Chinaeke Ofunne
