Mulling over things in #london #cityhopping #prayersforjohn #johnmayer #taylorswift I get why Dan Schneider is suing the makers of #quietonset Taylor Swift enjoys #creative license to maim exes, #babyreindeer Richard Gadd has made a fortune caricaturing Fiona Harvey, Harvey Weinstein’s conviction has been overturned because there are too many women complaining him. Waxing on about all that and more while wearing #katdennings 💄 (brown eyeliner + rosy lips). Also Oates on IG and YouTube. #زن_زندگی_آزادی
Mulling over things in #london #cityhopping #prayersforjohn #johnmayer #taylorswift I get why Dan Schneider is suing the makers of #quietonset Taylor Swift enjoys #creative license to maim exes, #babyreindeer Richard Gadd has made a fortune caricaturing Fiona Harvey, Harvey Weinstein’s conviction has been overturned because there are too many women complaining him. Waxing on about all that and more while wearing #katdennings 💄 (brown eyeliner + rosy lips). Also posted this on IG and YouTube. #زن_زندگی_آزادی
Selfie #montage these clips are from #2023 bought menstrual cups to try to be eco-friendly; am #menstruating presently. Both Jibz et moi wanted to be #chandlerbing and Matthew passed away under these horrendous circumstances around #halloween 2023. I keep wanting to add more narrative audio to this but I don’t so this is it. #narrative #fiction remembering my experience of Saturday 21 _||_||_ 12 about a dozen years ago. Still have issues with marriage, I want the in-laws, the social network and related career opportunities but never a husband. Not in the real sense. Maybe like a boyfriend pillow fantasy husband but not someone who feels entitled to physically be in my hair at all.
#bellesreprise thoughts on trying to sound English & Pakistani as per birth. Let’s call this fiction 4 self protection
https://youtube.com/shorts/S2u0qfGWfno?si=uqiTUx0BK4dtIJBN
I’ve always sounded transatlantic angloamerican like an east coaster because my first teacher was a ginger (red headed) New Yorker who yelled, ‘ Don’t talk to me in Oooh Do’ if I dared speak to her in minglish. I was cut off 4m z rest of my class at Toddlers’ Academy as I missed z spring term; joined the ranks in August after mummy broke my tooth on my 1st day of school. I used to have recess w/ other kids until I was pushed into a tree. I barely had any time there w/ anyone other than this ginger teacher & her kids ( who probably pushed me into z tree) who I presumed were Jane & Michael Banks. As at the age of 4 I did not know those child actors were grownups in real time at the time.
I remember thinking the dotted lines in my cursive writing handbook were dot-to-dots. And I told her that I did my work, I joined the dots; to which she exasperated, ‘No u have2 fill in the lines’ ;out of frustration 4 year old me yelped, ‘ Mein ne dots join kardiye mera kaam khatam’ which she rebutted w/, ‘ Don’t talk to me in oooh do, I don’t know ooh do’
I snapped back, ‘ I don’t know voodoo either?!’ (my impression from an episode of strawberry shortcake the cartoon was that redheads are introduced to voodoo by people w/ dark hair)
‘Not voodoo ooh do (اردو)‘
Another time her kids who were way bigger than me but still kids, sprang into the classroom (I had individual private tuitiontoddlers sessions w/ her since I missed z entire spring term &had2 play catch-up w/ z rest of my class); ‘twas z 1st time I saw them, I yelped, ‘ Look Miss it’s Jane and Michael Banks!!’, she was livid, ‘Those r my children’
They pushed me into a tree, in the playground, ergo I had splinters in my back, legs; the resident head maid at Toddlers’ Academy lathered all
https://www.instagram.com/reel/Cwx-IsPrzFR/?igshid=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==
Appeals 4 less obfuscation around 21 _||_||_ 12 & the ramifications of it. Same video but on YouTube:
https://youtu.be/RAXz4R9WuLA?si=Nb2LQSSGYCSE2iQG
Older draft:
https://youtu.be/LzCNoV0Mv4A?si=nCHfBU2jYHEUlxRl
‘Don’t be afraid to fail (or succeed) be afraid 2NOT even try’ - Anonymous
I’m going to get a soft tissue ultrasound for the identical to Khloe Kardashian’s from back when she was my age, face lesion. Have all of the CREST acronym , Calcinosis (My Fibrocystic breast condition which only got diagnosed because Mr.initials’BS insisted that I ‘get it out, I don’t care about scars; I don’t even have ni**les’), Raynaud’s ( I’ve bought 2 pairs of warm gloves to try to keep that in check), Esophageal dysmotility ( Oesophageal I the ‘English’ English I’ve formally studied O and A’Level Biology in. The food pipe), Sclerodactyly I reckon is my underfoot stuff and Telangiectasias (little pinprick like dots that blanch ephemerally under pressure.
‘Writing to reach u n’ I might never reach u. How I long to teach u about u, that’s not u;u know it’s u I’m talking to. Everyday I wake up and It’s Sunday. Whatever’s in my head won’t go away. Still the radio’s always playing all the usual. What’s a wonderwall anyway?’ - writing to reach you, Travis.
The right side of my face, teeth etc is very different from the left in my opinion.
I keep thinking about Sherri, let’s call this #fiction for self protection.
I was cooing, ‘ Sure can get married now, I’ll just go home get my stuff and come back’ and she yelled something to the effect of, ‘What stuff? U have ur NICOP, ur British passport… ‘
At another instance when he whined, ‘ Jee-yakking it aw off with Jee-yak in the jacket’ on infinite loop and I took the opportunity to try and tiptoe away from the scene, Sherri interrupted him with, ‘ Bob she’s getting away’
When I w
Proxy Doodle Fiction(?) Dialogue:
BS: U feel bad abt last night
NS: I’m sick of it all. Learned a lot of logic via Abstract Mathematics, the unit I performed better in than in all the other units that were part of my BSc(Hons) and Diploma for graduates but I’ve forgotten a lot about proofs etc, O &A level biology, chemistry
‘But u were a good student, remember those back bencher duffers who flunked everything, they’ve got international distinctions… everything is topsy turvy; nothing makes sense’
Those boys utilized their study leaves efficiently, they weren’t imposed w/ N.Kirmani’s C&D notes or made to listen to ‘Can u smell what the Rock is cooking’ on infinite loop or an en-suite bathroom where u know who ran a broken washing machine in tandem w/ a broken record denigration of me… the wrong past papers, a potbellied creepy handsy dirty daddy who r***d them when they were 13 sprawling on their bed…
BS: No they had support at tuition centres, practiced past papers etc etc. No deluded, impertinent, degrading spiel, study aid on personal computers too
NS: I finally watched z 1st season of #strangerthings and a bit of Season2
BS: what did u dream of?
NS: How I’m bleeding from a different orifice than that which I pee from. I don’t dare examine my pudendum chronic s.abuse survivors have permanent lesions, lacerations; it’s not just the right side of my teeth that is mutilated. Watched a few episodes of Deborah Feldman’s unorthodox; Andi Marcia(Marsha) died after 31st August in 1984 a little over a year before I was born,when stranger things season 1 is supposed to occur.
BS: u were singing the Clash’s Should I stay or should I go a lot around the ideas of March 2013 when you’d gotten mummy an appointment with doctor will she she will.
NS: It is er*tic sort of: always tease tease tease, ur happy when I’m on my knees? If I go there will b trouble; if I stay it will b double. Joe had my broken tooth. Theresa C the jersey? Brook
#juneteenth #Fathersday2023 #happybirthday #happyfathersday2023
Proxy Doodle Fiction Dialogue:-
B: Ur v.weepy today
N: I don’t think I’ll ever return Starcox and Pregabalin; I can’t even eat w/ mummy’s constant drama & I need to write; to journal: to enjoy some kind of peace and privacy in lieu of that I’m stuck dealing w/ ‘Look here are a roster of creepy innately mediocre gross creeps I berate u w/ & flatter abt u’
I can’t go on; I’ll go on -> feels like the story of my life
Rolex w/ ur full name inscribed on the case back, law office number, b understrike fa-get Gmail … Sherri saw z Sillyman at Umair & Rabia’s wedding long b4 it happened so she had clairvoyant foresight too. She also saw the ppl blonde in a bikini. U can’t just entrap a woman in a Mazel tov Nikkah, take her signed notarised ID copies, contract, blank sheets with her signatures, bangles and just forget about it? I mean u & Sherri
B: U had my expired California issued driver’s license, Rolex w/ my full name inscribed on the case back, 20 oh two palindrome birth time; what else?
N: it’s not unprovable despite all the damage from impertinent destructive weirdos but I can’t do it alone, I’ll need your daughter/s to ask astrotheme, to talk to Charles balding
B real mature
N: Chuck Spaulding, also to get that I was not completely forthright w/ him because I was embarrassed by being tricked into signing stuff & religiously married to a man I repeatedly turned down for being 3 decades older than me… and worrying abt mummy’s well-being, because of, ‘Mother will di*’
I deliberately missed your October 21st 2012 deadline
R: Yeah stern, unforgiving, ultimatum instating I refuse to forgive u
N: But on the flip side Ur also my only hope, my saviour; z only reason I’m alive and I came around, keeled over; submitted 2u but u want me 2B z
R: Initiator, aggressor, to lead be in charge; as that’s what u want
N: I wish I could do nothing.
Today I’m doing wrist stren
#AprilFoolsDay #AprilFoolsDay2023 #AprilFools #abuse #ramadanmubarak #parentalguidance #TheXFiles #QuantumLeap #learnedhelplessness #BS
#رمضان٢٠٢٣ #رمضان_مباركツ
#menstruating #HowImetyourmother #ladyhawke #ost #Standbyyou
Lebanese girls r z new half-Asians #thepretenders in London it was both French and Italian persons imagining I’m 1 of them & pretending not2B; I think thanks to z Roman-Greek-Ottoman Persian and other empires most Eurasians are more hispanic, Semitic, italian & so on than we know.
Proxy Doodle Fiction Dialogue
B: What happened?
N: 🤷🏻♀️ my post disappeared; digital detritus maybe?
B: u discovered Teri Hatcher was on Quantum Leap w/ Scott Bakula, and she played a runaway bride named Donna
N: And once Sam went back in time, he was too old for Donna
B: Then?
N:I don’t know I’m stuck there.
B: Scott as Elvis
N: He hasn’t leapt
B: the whole Donna and Sam thing is centered on
N:Professor Bryant(?) being too old for her; me complaining about the 3 decade age difference on infinite loop
B: Natal Sagittarius ♐️ ☀️ w/ venus in Scorpio
‘She was afraid to commit, afraid I would leave her
The same way her father left’
N: This is uncomfortable
RLS: Is it really?
N: 🤷🏻♀️ I remember yelling at you, saying sorry a lot; caring about Sherri’s opinion (Venus in z 10th house in Scorpio seeking validation from powerful women). . . Mostly just being scared 😱 and u pulled me out of it in great part but hmm. I should eat something.
R: you should. You should drink water, eat something; try to sleep
I called u z love of my life citing ‘jyacking it aw off w/ Jyack in z jacket as reason 4Me2B out of love w/ Cheryl
N:Bobinski made me stop playing with razors in the shower, my goal was to bl**d out accidentally then assume the ideal Muslim d. position left hand on heart, right hand beside me for Shahada and G-d wouldn't da** me if it was an accident.
He also knew about my ironing burn from
Proxy Doodle Fiction Dialogue:-
M: How are you?
W: Male cow? A cow is female, male ‘bovine’ excrement
I believe you want me to initiate a scavenger hunt for you, I don’t have the energy to keep going; I watched a few more episodes of The Beauty Queen of Jerusalem; I think the age difference was & remains a dealbreaker 4me.
M: But u prefer me over any1 who has ever hit on you;ever
W: True, I’m often h**ny for u while menstruating; halos of you on my mind
R: You left some hot milk with yogurt in a clay pot and dark cupboard earlier today don’t forget to check on it tomorrow morning.
W: I won’t inshaAllah
R: B understrike fag it was confirmed as my old email addy by Chuck
N: Ur know nothing mansplainer fans derailed me on Andi’s age at D. I knew it was 34; I wrote it was 34 because I distinctly recalled u saying, ‘ You remind me of Andi… my baby sister who died from a cerebral aneurysm at age 34’ ‘baby sister not baby sitter’ she was a little over 5&ahalf yrs older than u; I remember Jesse called me Misnomer Anna’s ‘baby sister’
R: Ur the youngest sister, Andi was the youngest sister too.
N: But ur mansplainer fans misled me by writing she was 32 etc etc
M: Sorry abt that &making u worry abt ur signatures & I.D. Copies
W: Are u though? I know that Weekend at Bobby’s is at play right now and my immediate family keeps giving me domestic insecurity & recruits Jaahil psychos to terrorise me every once in a while making it trés difficult for me to get enough sleep, or eat well and I can barely meet bare necessities forget apex of Maslow’s pyramid creative pursuits. I’m so disheartened by being flit around by these bozos I feel I’ll never be able to conduct that Quatrina interview I was setting up from b4 the impromptu Kenya B.S.
M: u gotta have faith
N: u convinced Jyack of Jyacking it aw off w/ Jyack in the jacket that he was dying of his self destructive & all round toxic lifestyle related health issues. You bragged about using
Waxing lyrical on Nadia Murad and Elizabeth Smart, 13/14 year old Elizabeth Smart was kidnapped after a carpenter or some other blue collar worker at their home cut through the kitchen window ventured into the girls’ bedroom and took her with a knife to her throat. They had a private mormon conjugal ceremony again while she was under knifepoint so only acquiesced under duress; consent under duress is not consent.
He took her to his house where he had an extant adult wife who participated in, enabled and aided the s.abuse that followed.
Eventually a police investigator or reporter or officer recognised Elizabeth’s eyes peering through the eye-hole of a white Mormon burqa. And separated her from her captors. And she was saved.
Since then she’s become a reporter and got married to fellow Mormon who is around her age in her twenties; got lots of therapy to recuperate from the experience.
A woman’s, girl’s eyes are not visible through the intricately netted like latticework eyeholes of a shuttlecock burka
Nadia Murad is a Kurdish(?) or Yazidi(?) woman who was kidnapped by ISIS, they k***ed her immediate family; took her on a bus along with other kidnapped women, a smelly big man lunged at her attempting to r*** her and was stopped by a formally dressed educated looking older man the women were asked to select their captors naturally Nadia pointed to the older man who appeared to have saved her from the dirty big lug. That man turned out to be a reputable judge, had a nice big house, ushered her to an en-suite bathroom attached to his bedroom and told her to shower and change and put on some makeup. She was again grateful unaware of his plans. As an aspiring beautician she recognised the fancy brands on the makeup and clothes, thought about how she could never afford any of it.
After she changed he told her that the only reason he told her to doll up was so he could F her. And that if he didn’t comply he would chuck her back onto the bus where she woul
I believe every honest, innately intelligent& beautiful Sagittarius woman over every naturally fugly, inherently dishonest, slimy cuckoo Gemini male https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2022/11/25/e-jean-carroll-sues-donald-trump-rape/ Cannot stand bullies
Have to call this #fiction because ex-PM Imran Khan, Pakistan’s most notorious playboy, s.offender rather if you count that consent wasn’t properly defined in the English law statute s.Offences Act until 2000- something invited stripped-of-their-British nationality citizenship pedos into Pakistan to monitor and police the Internet activities of ‘irresistible’ Pakistani women as lamented by Syed Muzammil Official and punish us for participating in any kind of #metoo like #freespeech
In my personal case, no family member respects my personal space or privacy and the partners they choose are worse in terms of being impertinent, invasive, abusive etc etc. When I was 15/16 my MoHo lug taurus sister kept pulling my pants and jeans up-down, kneading my legs, hissing that I’m s**y, she never once paid attention to my resultant distress, I had nightmares about it, there isn’t a photo of me with her in which I don’t look ashen or otherwise tense.
When my 1.5 yrs younger brother was 11/12 his wholly unattractive short dark Hobbesian troll ‘friend’ Umer who moved to Canada soon after 7th grade, handed him a cameraphone and got him into po**. Years before I had figured out how to Jimmy bathroom locks with the backs of spoons, forks etc and made the dire mistake of teaching my brother. Often people would get locked in loos and instead of the hassle of calling guards or errand boys et al to break the door down and then a locksmith to replace the bathroom lock, I would use my discovery to ask anyone locked in a loo to wash up be decent, pull up pants or whatever the use the back of dining utensils to open the door… But unfortunately when I was in 9th grade my brother used this to feed his and the not-so-
20 day period starting from 20th January by 28 day cycle expecting next period on 27th feb or later . Pelvic ultrasound revealed bulky uterus.
Proxy Doodle Fiction Dialogue
N:Dealing with gaslighting by my entitled reckless (show don’t tell, has broken her own foot at least thrice. Deleted all my footage from July 21st 2012 because I asked her not to) morbidly obese irreparably insane sister.
Dealing with mother brother drama too wouldn’t care if my Raynaud’s wasn’t set off and my physical health wasn’t deteriorating rapidly, find it strange when ppl expect me to be jealous about u copulating with other women when I literally told you to do that. Acquiesced under duress blackmail and bribery to the Mazel tov nikkah and signings while you ephemerally hijacked my British passport
B: U weren’t ready to consummate the marriage despite how I said,’No nakhras’ you deliberately missed my October 21st deadlines in 2012 and 2015 and um
N: I wanted monetary compensation an annulment and to be in love with someone age appropriate
B: But you don’t choose who u fall in love in with?
N: Chemistry and timing; I had a dream featuring A.I.
R: What was he doing?
N: He was… we were at school but I was wearing a pinafore skirt with a tie white shirt and stockings uniform and he was smirking hugged me from behind grabbed my hands and started swinging my arms?? Ju get it? Can u picture it?
Robber: Sure
N: it somehow linked to that Mila Kunis starring gang r*** at school or at an after school party movie
B: And u remembered short pudgy light skinned Shia Asad of papworth calling you a be-my-lady prostitute, sort of apologizing for it when in class That scene from Romeo &Juliet wherein which Mercutio called Rosalind a Roe. And Asad started explaining that Rosalind isn’t really a roe or PRos to Merc but that he’s disparaging her, name calling because he’s concerned for his friend Romeo and how Romeo is pining over Rosalind; all the while looking at you
N: it
Clementine, a song 🎵 more than a century old, fair use even for commercial purposes.
Proxy Doodle Fiction Dialogue:-
B: Happy Valentine’s Galentine’s days
N: I wish some1 would tell SM that making a person tolerate bullies is not healthy or social or sane:
An older version of me(6 & a half years to be precise) Mr.Duplicity? So mutable virgo moon, gemini ♊️ Mercury & south node in ur 7th house) I hate to bug u in the middle of dinner promised me a slapsgiving
B: Supplemented; yes. Will did that …
N: I have a cousin, ‘Saad’ rejected 🙅🏻♀️ by all his female 1st cousins (what kind of special creep vies to marry his 1st cousin in the 1st place?).
I was the first of his contemporary 1st cousins to turn him down.
So I sincerely suspect SH is roasting his cousins as they weren’t n’ still aren’t interested.
Now I have to deal with his naturally dark wife Yusra constantly vying to one-up me in photos,it’s so gross. It’s really not a competition I can barely tolerate him.
He kept calling me Selma Blair + other Hollywood heartthrob starlets and after I got Mazel tov nikkah-ed to BS on July 21st 2012, psychic Bob told me to let Saad down easy so I wrote to my short sh**ty school uneducated no-chin effeminate bugeyed cousin eponymous Saad saying, ‘ I’m not interested’ as nicely as is humanly possible.
Resultantly he’s more annoying than ever, since his random recent shaadi I have to deal w/ his equally poorly schooled, unintelligent and naturally dark; tall manly wife with a big pakora Nubian nose. I have nothing against black women, I’m a Siddiqi we’re mostly Arab part slavic & part black as such a lot of my relatives have Nubian features + naturally dark skin (which they employ a cosmetic myriad 2mask) but I think Alicia Keys is drop dead gorgeous even when she’s not wearing colored contact lenses. Tyra banks, Naomi Campbell before all her plastic surgeries; Vanessa Williams … Ofcourse the beautiful black women we
I have no friends I feel like; just weirdos whose mansplaining and other unwanted infarctions I ‘usually’ put up with and get irked by. Until I have my Sagittarius ♐️ Mercury, sun ☀️,Uranus and Saturn 🪐 #truthteller speils. Have experienced the ‘big fat bully’ trope all my life ergo wary of morbidly obese and mentally unhealthy overweight persons. I guess I do have some friends, almost friends people who r smart and interesting but they’re busy bodies and I have a tendency to be forlorn and need my space; so there’s always a bit of a distance.
On #alternativeculture #Karachi #clubbing #nightclub #AuratMarch2022 #زن_زندگی_ازادی the illusion of control, not being photogenic; #allergies being exhausted by the inconsiderate… I’m sure as an #environmentalist he was happy to live in squalor a dust heap; while in #waterpaucity there’s often no choice in the matter. #diabetes #sarcopenia #ImadeULook - Meghan Trainor
Starts off with imposed #blackface complaints about bad pictures.
Followed by … I should #sleep palindrome 22 11 22
Alluded to this scene in #Familyties in which Michael Grossman’s character explains the reason why Alex would never come home with a ‘C’
Is that if a teacher dared to give Alex a C, Alex would be arguing with that teacher until s/he turned his C into an A
https://youtu.be/Y2bfbFt_qrc
I should probably unblock that Faisal character I blocked for wheedling but then his wheedling will probably turn into negging if I do???
I rejected auditory #hallucinations having schizophrenic Seema’s Saad because I don’t like him in any way. I don’t like his looks, I don’t like that he insists on waxing lyrical (spouting bunkum rather) about law, economics, mathematics, sociology, me, Bob, fullhouse; biology when he literally has nada grounding in any of those subjects to me who has thoroughly studied all of those subjects; to me he’s a personification of a migraine that I have a hard time tolerati
Happy posthumous Birthday Anniversary #Joy aka Cristin Joyce Keleher
#thankyou for the likes and/or reactions really appreciate it, when people take their time out to do that, rather sad about Aaron Carter’s death on the 5th of November 2022 #guyfawkesday https://www.astrotheme.com/astrology/Aaron_Carter#z73499Wsa5vj at 34 like Joy. The cause of his death is under investigation, he was a #Whistleblower w/ #moralcourage who stood by the throngs of women his brother Nick allegedly wronged. Had a Sagittarius ♐️ ☀️, Mercury, Saturn 🪐 , Uranus and ascendant.
Eerily something of an uncanny valley moment w/ Bob’s demise too. Bob Carter died at age 65. And Jyack like Nick seems to also have gotten away w/ myriad s**ual Offences that are technically criminal
Also watched the Joy summit movie w/ #thebookofJoy featuring Archbishop Desmond Tutu, the Dalai Lama and Douglas Abrams. On the verge of losing my face to #Scleroderma ?
Commentary on misogynistic legislative bias against women; especially women of color/colour. Joy was 27 was she was arrested for #breakingandentering a sliding door at George Harrison’s Maui estate and served 4 months behind bars. In contrast, the schizophrenic squatter who tried to stab both George and his wife Olivia to death was not charged or convicted nor dubbed a #stalker his mother advocated for him; he was sent back to a mental hospital for continued treatment and NHS care; on the British taxpayer’s dime.
Kesha often brags about paying a gardener off to let into the late Prince’s residence to submit a demo tape. She did not get put behind bars for 4 months. Or anything akin to that.
What a gross 🤢 policy:
‘Learn more about your location information
When Location services is turned off, we may still estimate your location using things such as check-ins, events and information about your Internet connection.
Specific location information, such as your device's GPS signal, and connection information, such as you