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20/09/2024

A seven year old walks into a brothel and slaps a $10 dollar bill on the counter and says, "Give me a ho**er!"

The madame, looked amused and says, "Get lost kid."

The kid then slaps a $50 on the counter and says, "Give me a ho**er!!"

The madame raises an eyebrow, but before she could say anything the kid slaps a $1,000 on table and says, "Give me a ho**er with herpes!!!"

The madame, says, "What? Why would you want that?"

The kid says, "Because, I would screw her and get herpes, then I would go home and screw the baby sitter and she would get herpes. When my dad comes home, he'll screw the baby sitter and he'll get herpes. Eventually when my dad screws my mom she'll get herpes and on Wednesday when the pool man comes over she'll screw him and that's the MO********ER that killed my frog!

18/09/2024

A businessman was preparing to go on a long business trip, so he thought he'd buy his wife something to keep her occupied. He went to a s*x shop and explained his situation. The man there said, ' Well, I don't know that I have anything that will keep her occupied for so many weeks, except... The Magic P***s!'

The husband said, 'The what'?

The man repeated, 'The Magic P***s,' and pulled out what seemed to be an ordinary d***o.

The husband laughed, and said, 'It looks like a d***o!'

The man then pointed to the door and said, ' Magic P***s, door!'

The p***s rose out of its box, darted over to the door and started pounding away at the keyhole. The whole door shook wildly with vibrations, so much so, that a crack began to form down the middle. Then the man said, 'Magic P***s, return to box!' and the p***s stopped and returned to the box.

The husband bought it and took it home to his wife.

After the husband had been gone a few days, the wife remembered the Magic P***s. She undressed, opened the box and said 'Magic P***s, my va**na.'

The p***s shot to her crotch. It was absolutely incredible. After three mind shattering or***ms, she became very exhausted and decided she'd had enough. She tried to pull it out, but it was stuck. Her husband had neglected to tell her how to turn it off so she put her clothes on, got in her car and started for the closest hospital.

On the way, another incredibly intense or**sm made her swerve all over the road. A Police Officer saw this and immediately pulled her over. He asked for her license, and then asked how much she'd had to drink.

Gasping and twitching, the woman said, 'I haven't had anything to drink officer. You see, I've got this Magic P***s thing stuck in my crotch and it won't stop screwing me.'

The officer looked at her for a second, shook his head and replied, 'Yeah right... Magic P***s, my ass!

The rest, as they say, is history.

03/11/2023

If a th*****me is with three people and a twosome with two, do you now understand why people call you ‘handsome’.

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