12/12/2024
HE DIDN'T CHEAT BUT HE'S STILL A TRAITOR
My boyfriend left his phone open as he took a shower. Out of curiosity, I opened his phone and accessed all of his social media accounts.
There, I found out that he never entertained other girls and he never bothered to respond on their flirty messages. In other words, there were no signs of cheating at all.
As his girlfriend, I couldn't help but to smile in satisfaction. I continued scrolling down his newsfeed and upon scrolling, there's a picture of a woman who completely caught my attention.
I stalked the woman's account and I was surprised knowing that my boyfriend always filled her posts and pictures with "heart reactions" and he even commented, "ganda naman". The woman also responded, "thank you".
For the first time in years, I got alarmed and somewhat a bit threatened.
What I saw that day completely disturbed my mental state. I know it was just a small thing and I should not put a malice towards their mini interaction in social media but my anxiety couldn't handle it.
From that day onwards, I started to overthink. I became so paranoid.
Months passed, I could feel my boyfriend's cold approach towards me. He became so distant, he's near yet I couldn't feel his warmth and presence.
He became more secretive and it felt like there's something part of him that I wasn't allowed to step on.
Out of paranoia, I opened my boyfriend's account once again. I know I am invading his privacy but I'm too desperate to know what is happening why he's acting so cold lately.
I stalked the account of the woman who got me jealous and they had no conversation at all, but they are talking in the comment section while praising each other's existence.
That day, I laughed while droplets of tears escaped my eyes.
Yes, my boyfriend is not a cheater but I always wonder how would it feel when someone loves you right. Someone who would make you feel that you are special, that you are the only woman who's beautiful in his eyes.
Each day, my anxiety is getting worse and it affected our relationship.
I love my man but I don't want to be selfish, because I knew to myself that he's just waiting for me to let go of him.
That's why, I decided to break up with him and ended our three years relationship.
It hurts walking away from the man you love, but what hurts the most is when he did nothing to chase and fight for me to stay.
Nag-break na lang kami na parang wala lang nangyari. Na parang hindi kami nagmahalan nang tatlong taon!
—
After two weeks of break up, I found out that he's already dating with the same woman I stalked in facebook.
There, I've realized that small things can be big. Those small interactions of them in social media is already a warning which I failed to notice and those little red flags which I chose to ignore.
I've already accepted that we broke up, but I still can't accept how we ended.
I felt so betrayed!
Yes, my man is not a cheater but do you know what makes him a traitor?
It's when he already knew who's next after you while you are still in the process of moving on!
CTTO : Nammy Ramos
