22/04/2021
I am not perfect. I have my own set of flaws. But I do not let this define who I am now and who I will become in the future. What's important is that I recognize my faults, that I've learned from it, and that I'm willing to become a better person for myself, and for others.
A few nights ago, I was on one of the lowest points of my life. I realized that the mistake I once made led to something I thought I had accepted already -- that I wasn't anymore affected of. I cried after knowing it. I got hurt. I regretted.
I was too negative then. I lost track of myself. Gusto ko nang sumuko sa lahat -- like I didn't care. I wanted to stop living this life.
I was desperate for answers, for someone na makausap. I tried to to talk it out to two other friends, but it didn't satisfy my yearning for peace. So habang naglalaro ng CODM, I confided to someone (someone who I wasn't close with, who didn't know the real me) my hurts.. I didn't care anymore if i-she-share nya yun sa iba.
So I told him my story. Surprisingly, hindi sya nagcomment, hindi sya nag suggest ng dapat kung gawin. nakinig lang sya..
after nun, d na ako nagma-mic, kasi naiyak na ako.. Pero I replied to him everytime nagsasalita sya, kasi yoko malaman nya I was already crying. I ended the game saying, I was sleepy na and may pasok pa the next day, and thanked him for listening.
Then he audio-messaged me sa chatbox ng CODM.
After nun, I got motivated to become better. I chose not to give up on life and love.
So sa lahat ng nasasaktan, yung gusto nang gumive-up sa buhay...
"Sana okay ka lang. okay lang yun... Be strong... okay? Just let it out... Kaya mo yan... Kaya natin yan..."
