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Hidden Feelings, Manila (2025)

22/11/2024

I Was Almost Over You Until You Showed Up Again

I thought I had let you go. The days stretched out, one after the other, slowly erasing the memory of your touch, your voice, your presence. Time has a way of dulling the sharp edges of pain, and I convinced myself I had moved on. I buried the past, tucked it away in the corners of my mind, where it would gather dust and fade into something distant, almost unrecognizable.

But then you appeared again—unannounced, unexpected, like a shadow that falls across a bright afternoon. And in that moment, everything came rushing back. The memories I had carefully sealed away were suddenly wide open, flooding my thoughts with the intensity of feelings I thought I had lost. I had almost forgotten how your smile could make my heart race, how your voice could pull me out of myself and into something far deeper.

It’s strange, how you can think you’re done with someone—how you can swear you're stronger, that you've moved on—only for them to show up again and remind you that some things never really leave. I wish I could say I was unaffected, that I was immune to whatever spark was still alive between us. But I’m not. I’m human. And sometimes, the heart doesn’t listen to the logic the mind tries to impose.

So here I am, once again standing at the crossroads of everything we were, everything we could have been, and the reality of who we are now. I’m trying to make sense of it all, trying to figure out if this is just a momentary flare-up or if it’s something more. I’m almost over you, I tell myself, and yet, with every glance, every word, every fleeting moment of you being near, I’m reminded of how easily the past can be resurrected.

Perhaps it’s not about forgetting. Maybe it’s about learning to live with the parts of you that never fully fade, the parts that become woven into the fabric of who we are. Even if I don’t reach the place I thought I would—where your memory is only a whisper on the wind—I’ll find a way to exist alongside it, to move forward despite it.

Because I know now: some things, no matter how hard you try, will never truly be "over."

Now, all I can do is wish you hadn’t shown up in front of me again. 🥺

(Photo not mine. CCTO)

19/11/2024

I hate waiting for you to message me back. It feels like this constant tension, this uncertainty hanging in the air. Every time I check my phone, there's that small hope, that little flicker of expectation, only to be met with silence. It’s frustrating, and honestly, sometimes it gets to me. The waiting, the wondering—it can be so exhausting.

But at the same time, I find myself still longing for that message. Despite how much it bothers me, I can’t help but wait. I tell myself I won’t, that I won’t keep checking, but somehow, I always end up doing it. And every time I do, I hope—just a little bit—that maybe today will be the day you’ll reach out. It’s like a part of me is willing to be patient, even though I know it shouldn’t be this way. It’s a contradiction—hating it, but still waiting for it, because the thought of hearing from you makes the wait feel worth it, no matter how long it takes.

(photo not mine)
CCTO

08/11/2024

I had convinced myself I was learning to forget you. I stopped reaching out, stopped checking my phone for messages, and slowly let the silence stretch between us. It was hard, but every day I managed to push the thought of you further to the back of my mind. I told myself that the only way to move forward was to let go, to stop lingering in the past.

But then, one day, you showed up at my door.

I didn’t know what to expect when I opened it, but I wasn’t ready for the rush of emotions that flooded back the moment I saw you standing there. I had spent so long trying to suppress the feelings, trying to convince myself I was fine without you. But the instant you spoke, all those old, familiar feelings came rushing back, and I realized how much I had missed you, how deeply I still cared.

The thing about trying to forget someone is that you can’t control when or how the memories will resurface. You can push them away, but they never truly go away.

And in that moment, standing face to face with you, I realized that no matter how hard I tried, part of me would always hold on to what we had. It felt like everything I had worked for—the space I had created to move on—came crashing down in the blink of an eye. The silence between us didn’t feel like distance anymore; it felt like an ache.

I told myself I was learning to forget you, but I didn’t realize how much of me was still holding on, waiting for you to show up. And now, with you standing in front of me, it felt like I was right back at square one.

You’ve stirred up my once peaceful world again. ☺️

25/10/2024

In the face of adversity, our courage shines through. Let’s harness that courage to help one another during this challenging time. No matter how tough it gets, we have each other’s backs!

Bangon Bicol, bangon Oragons!

14/10/2024

With The Blackman Family – I just got recognised as one of their top fans! 🎉

30/09/2024

Seeking help is a brave step, but disappointment can arise when those we expect to support us don’t come through. It’s painful, yet it reminds us that everyone has their own struggles. Staying open-minded allows us to explore unexpected sources of strength and connection, ultimately enriching our experiences and perspectives.

Hidden Feelings

20/09/2024

Prayer for Community Support for Doc Willie Ong

Gracious God,

We gather in prayer for Dr. Willie Ong, seeking Your healing touch upon him as he faces cancer. May Your love surround him and provide comfort in his darkest moments. We ask for strength, both for him and for those who stand by his side.

Help us, as a community, to support him with our prayers, encouragement, and love. May our collective faith uplift him, reminding him that he is cherished and not alone in this journey.

Lord, grant Dr. Ong renewed hope and the resilience to fight this battle. We trust in Your divine plan and hold him in our hearts.

Amen.

Please share this prayer. ❤️

20/09/2024

Prayer for Healing and Strength for Doc Willie Ong

Dear God,

We come to You with humble hearts, lifting Dr. Willie Ong into Your loving care. As he battles cancer, we ask for Your miraculous healing to flow through him. Surround him with Your light and comfort, easing his pain and bringing peace to his spirit.

Grant him the strength to face each day and the courage to endure the challenges ahead. May he feel the support of family, friends, and the community as we unite in love and prayer for his recovery.

Lord, we place our trust in You, knowing that with faith, all things are possible. Hold Dr. Ong close, and guide him on this journey toward healing.

Amen.

Please share this prayer. ❤️

17/09/2024

There are friendships in our lives that we hold dear, even if they’re no longer part of our everyday existence. These cherished relationships have shaped us, leaving a lasting imprint on who we are. It's like having a favorite book: the stories and lessons stay with us long after we’ve closed the cover. We can look back with gratitude, knowing that these connections helped us grow, without needing them to be present in our lives again.

Sometimes, the beauty of these past friendships lies in their ability to teach us and enrich our lives, even from a distance. They’re like flowers we’ve planted in a garden—though we may move on to new landscapes, the beauty and influence of those blooms remain.

By honoring these past relationships, we can appreciate the joy and lessons they brought without feeling a sense of loss. Instead, we can embrace a sense of completion and gratitude for the moments shared. This perspective allows us to welcome new connections with openness, knowing that each relationship, past or present, contributes to the rich tapestry of our lives.

In recognizing the value of old friendships while letting go of the need to revive them, we make room for new experiences and relationships. This helps us move forward with grace, cherishing the full spectrum of human connection and embracing the journey of building and nurturing relationships.

Remember, even if we lose some friendships over time, their value and the impact they’ve had on us remain forever cherished. -Ren

11/09/2024

Why do people usually hide their feelings?

10/09/2024

Friend is life so does coffee but my cat is lifer. 🤣🤣🤣

Hidden Feelings

09/09/2024

Behind that seemingly carefree smile, there may be a heart wrestling with unspoken sorrow, a soul burdened by invisible wounds. It’s in these moments of quiet concealment that our emotional depth becomes most evident—showing that even the brightest outward appearance can sometimes veil the deepest inner battles.

08/09/2024

Maybe she’s just a cat to some, but for me, she’s a source of comfort and joy. Her presence is my ultimate emotional anchor and a daily reminder of love and serenity.

Hidden Feelings

07/09/2024

Yesterday, despite successfully resolving a challenging issue at work, I felt unusually heavy and burdened. I confided in some trusted colleagues, which offered a slight reprieve, but the weight of the day lingered until I got home. Normally, I skip dinner, but last night, I craved something that might ease my discomfort.

I initially headed to Mang Inasal, craving toyo with kalamansi and sili. However, the long line deterred me, so I decided to go to McDonald's instead. There, I ended up ordering a one-piece chicken meal, and on a whim, I also ordered Chicken Ala King, which I devoured in its entirety. It seems I turned to food as a way to cope with the stress I was feeling.

Who do the same when stressed?

06/09/2024

I felt like life is getting tough for me lately. Problems at work over the past couple of months have been weighing heavily on me, making me want to quit. I feel like I'm drowning in a sea of stress and frustration, struggling to catch my breath amidst the relentless waves. It's as though every day is a battle just to stay afloat.

The thought of quitting feels both tempting and impossible. My mind is a whirlwind of anxiety and guilt. I have so much to consider—the well-being of my family, financial stability, and the fear of the unknown. I can’t ignore the responsibilities and commitments that tie me down, nor can I overlook the emotional toll this is taking on me.

Yet, I know I need to confront these feelings and not let them consume me. I have to find a way to navigate this storm without losing myself in the process. It's about finding a path that allows me to breathe again while still honoring the commitments I’ve made.

Lord, help me, guide me, and show me the path I should take. Grant me the strength and wisdom to navigate through these challenges, and the clarity to find a way that honors both my responsibilities and my well-being. Lead me toward a solution that brings peace and balance, and help me to trust in the journey ahead.

Hidden Feelings
゚

05/09/2024

Some offenses are minor and easily forgotten, while others leave lasting pain that takes time to heal.

゚

Hidden Feelings

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