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22/11/2024
I Was Almost Over You Until You Showed Up Again
I thought I had let you go. The days stretched out, one after the other, slowly erasing the memory of your touch, your voice, your presence. Time has a way of dulling the sharp edges of pain, and I convinced myself I had moved on. I buried the past, tucked it away in the corners of my mind, where it would gather dust and fade into something distant, almost unrecognizable.
But then you appeared again—unannounced, unexpected, like a shadow that falls across a bright afternoon. And in that moment, everything came rushing back. The memories I had carefully sealed away were suddenly wide open, flooding my thoughts with the intensity of feelings I thought I had lost. I had almost forgotten how your smile could make my heart race, how your voice could pull me out of myself and into something far deeper.
It’s strange, how you can think you’re done with someone—how you can swear you're stronger, that you've moved on—only for them to show up again and remind you that some things never really leave. I wish I could say I was unaffected, that I was immune to whatever spark was still alive between us. But I’m not. I’m human. And sometimes, the heart doesn’t listen to the logic the mind tries to impose.
So here I am, once again standing at the crossroads of everything we were, everything we could have been, and the reality of who we are now. I’m trying to make sense of it all, trying to figure out if this is just a momentary flare-up or if it’s something more. I’m almost over you, I tell myself, and yet, with every glance, every word, every fleeting moment of you being near, I’m reminded of how easily the past can be resurrected.
Perhaps it’s not about forgetting. Maybe it’s about learning to live with the parts of you that never fully fade, the parts that become woven into the fabric of who we are. Even if I don’t reach the place I thought I would—where your memory is only a whisper on the wind—I’ll find a way to exist alongside it, to move forward despite it.
Because I know now: some things, no matter how hard you try, will never truly be "over."
Now, all I can do is wish you hadn’t shown up in front of me again. 🥺
(Photo not mine. CCTO)