De Zwarte Creations

15/05/2025

Comfort Zone – or Conditioned Zone?

As I was reading this morning, a thought popped up: What if we would look at our Comfort Zone as a Conditioned Zone?

Our Comfort Zone represents what we are comfortable with, as well as what makes us experience Discomfort, being uncomfortable.

A conversation we are having.

An email we receive.

An action to take.

Anything that starts to fire of a stream of thoughts, stirs emotions and evokes physical sensations.

Sometime in our life we may have had an experience that, in the moment, created thought patterns and locked in certain emotions and physical sensations.

We were conditioned.

Whatever happens right now somehow connects into that conditioning and makes us experience the sense of discomfort.

What I came to understand through my coaching education and experience, through studying the works of Gabor Maté and Bessel van der Kolk, and my own lived experience is that it is possible to explore our conditioning and change it, to decondition.

We have the ability to post-process those experiences, to put them into perspective so we loosen the grip they have on us today.

There are various ways of doing that. Expressive writing, coaching and other professional support.

We expand our Comfort Zone, transform our Conditioned Zone, so whatever made us experience a sense of discomfort before can now be addressed in another way. Instead of having a programmed reaction, we can pause and respond.

Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t a quick fix. This takes energy and awareness.

It’s also very much worth the effort as we liberate our potential, be more purposeful, can express more of our humanity, become the best version of ourselves and share our gifts and talents with the whole to experience prosperity.

The attached image is what showed up this morning after the thought popped into my mind: What if we would look at our Comfort Zone as a Conditioned Zone?

My Comfort Zone used to be to keep these concepts, these ideas close to my self.

What if people don’t agree?

What will they think of me?

What if someone takes it to the next level?

After some serious deconditioning and being more purposeful I decided a while ago to share these, as they are. To inspire.

The intention changed.

What if someone takes the time to consider elements of this?

What if it inspires someone to take different actions?

What if it invites someone to start their journey of deconditioning?

As I often share with people I coach, version one is better than version none.

If one person sees this post, even without liking or commenting, who takes a step out of their comfort zone today, or tomorrow, who liberates a part of their potential, who expresses more of their humanity, it has been worth the effort and energy.

Besides that, I just love these moments of spontaneous conceptualization.

Putting pen to paper, marker to Magic Chart and fingers to the keyboard.

05/04/2025

“Here I sit …”

Little over a year ago, day 26 of Tim Clare’s writing challenge.

A day of free writing.

Somewhere in the introduction Tim says, “Wouldn’t it be a shame to just sit here, do nothing …”.

I paused the podcast and started writing. Put my fingers to the keyboard.

“Here I sit …”

4 pages in 10 minutes.

And then, when I continued the podcast, Tim finishes his sentence, ”… when you are built to fly?”.

This is what evolved from those initial 4 pages.

02/04/2025

“Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans”.

A quote often attributed to John Lennon.

And he said it. He sang it. In the song “Beautiful Boy”.

A beautiful song with some very deep lyrics.

And that one line, “Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans”, used by so many.

What I didn’t know until this morning is this line was stated before by Allen Saunders in 1957 (Reader’s Digest).

“Life is what happens to us while we are busy making other plans”.

A few different words, a similar message.

The line by John Lennon popped up in my mind this morning as I was reflecting on life, on the human journey.

Life.

A collection of brief moments. Split seconds.

Moments that leave an imprint, conscious and non-conscious.

Many pieces of a big puzzle. The puzzle of our life.

Scenes. Some seemingly stand alone. Often somehow interwoven as we find out later in life.

Life is what happens while we are playing forward towards a dream (if we have a dream defined).

Moving in a certain direction, on a journey, a trajectory, towards a defined dot on the horizon.

At the same time, life happens.

The more I think about it, the more it becomes clear how many people take the line from the song literally, as a form of truth.

What would happen if we rewrite the line a little bit.

Life is a mix of what is happening, how we (over-)react and (over-)respond to that, and what we make happen by our intention and our actions as we move in the direction of a desired outcome, a dream.

It’s the interplay of what is happening and what we desire to see happening, that we make happen that makes life what it is.

Consider this:
- What is happening in your life, right now, at this moment, that somehow requires your attention? Where a reaction or response is required?
- What do you want to see happening? What specific step can you take, right now, towards that desired outcome, in the direction of your dot on the horizon?

When we get less busy making other plans and more involved in playing for our dream, we get a different life experience, we will experience life differently.

Liberate and realize your potential, express your humanity, serve the whole with your role and soul.

22/03/2025

Even when we refuse the call to adventure,
our life has changed from hearing the call.
We are now aware of the adventure,
of what else is possible.
The seed is planted.
We considered it,
if just briefly before we refused it,
for now.

09/02/2025

07/02/2025

“Flowers are red”

There is a video of a song, “Flowers are red”, which can be found here on YouTube: https://youtu.be/nHm2KdTTKUw?si=ZIIIhCCfzFVYm8cz .

The song tells the story about a young boy and his experience in our education system.

I don’t want to spoil the fun of watching the video, so I won’t say too much about it.

You are invited to watch the 5 minute video and to share your observations in the comments.

After watching it myself a few times I became aware of the layering in it as it shows how we have been programmed and conditioned from a young age related to many areas of our lives, including our self-expression, our creativity.

The imprints that were made based on remarks from others that put a veil over our creativity, which hinders us from expressing our creative energy.

The good news is, we can reverse this conditioning, we can change our beliefs so we can get our creative juices flowing more freely.

The few moments this young boy experienced may still have a profound impact on his ability to live life to the fullest, to express himself, to be creative.

So, if you somehow experience a constriction of your creativity, think about this, what was your “Flowers are red” moment?

How do you see it still affects you today?

What do you believe about your creativity?

How freely do you let your creative energy flow to bring something forth in the world?

Let’s liberate your human potential, let’s liberate your creativity.

Fall 2010 animation final!Song by Harry Chapin, because nobody can sing it as well as he can ^^Made using AfterEffects and Photoshop.

06/02/2025

As a transformational coach, I don't have all the answers.

I am still figuring things out myself.

I do have great questions that provided answers for me and most probably will help you to find your answers.

Are you interested in a good conversation about you and your dreams?

02/02/2025

Sunday morning synthesis, February 2nd 2024

As I am watching a video I am reminded of the idea of T.H.I.N.K.

Before we say anything, we can take a little moment and think.

Is that which I am about to communicate

True?

Helpful?

Inspiring?

Necessary?

Kind?

As I think about this, Byron Katie ’s “The Work” comes to mind.

When we have a thought or belief that we think is true and somehow influences or impacts our behavior, Byron Katie suggests 4 questions:

Is it true?

Can you absolutely know that it’s true?

How do you react when you believe that thought?

Who would you be without the thought?

Interesting to see what happens when we combine the two concepts.

It makes us even more intentional and deliberate in our communication.

I am curious, what do you think?

24/11/2024

Are you open to work?

Considering a move in your career?

Really want to get deeper self-knowledge?

Open to an experiment?

Are you willing to try something new?

If you have answered yes to some of the questions, I want to invite you to an experiment.

To something that has been really valuable for me in the previous 6 months.

No strings attached, no investment needed other than a few minutes (which may become many hours) of your time.

Are you ready?

Just follow these steps.

Don’t judge, don’t overthink, just follow my lead, give it a try and see what happens.

Excited? Great.

Sceptic? Great.

Curious? Great.

Please go to genekeys.com and create a free account.

Go to the beta-profile and create your profile.

My suggestion: first read the parts My Life’s Work and My Purpose.

Sit with the information for a moment. What do you think? What do you feel?

Make some notes.

Next, go to your actual profile.

Start at the top, your Life’s Work / Brand. Click on the circle.

As you read those words, what shows up for you?

How do those words show up in your life and how might they be related to your career?

Click through the descriptions offered and make some notes.

Now do the same thing for Vocation.

Next, move to Purpose.

Pause.

Look at your notes.

What are you learning about yourself?

What are you realizing about your career, current or future?

Gift yourself a pause today, experiment, tap into your potential and into your humanity.

05/11/2024

The emptiness of potential.

It is all there.

A lot untouched.

Waiting for us to connect with it.

To commit to it.

To co-create with it.

What else is possible?

What is waiting inside the potential?

Ready … As a possibility … As a seed?

To be made probable?

To be brought into the world,
in service of humanity?

Be still.

Silent.

Listen.

To the potential.

27/10/2024

Nature. Nurture. Narrative. Navigate.

Contemplating on the Human Journey one topic that shows up regularly for me is the concept of Nature-Nurture.

As humans, a big part of who we are is connected to nature. Our parents and their genes and how based on those gene pools merging and melting our specific DNA was formed. This is all about our biological make up.

Another part we hear a lot about is Nurture. The environment we grew up in and the upbringing we received. The culture and country we are in. Our education. The institutions around us.

An extension of Nature-Nurture could be Narrative.

Besides our biological make up and the conditioning from our environment, we are also conditioned and formed by the unique story of our individual experiences and personal journey.

Experiences of joy and pleasure, experiences of tragedy, trouble and trauma. Moments we remember with gratitude, moments we try to forget. Moments that together formed our Narrative.

These three elements, Nature, Nurture and Narrative have brought us where we are today.

And today, in our (extra-)ordinary world, we have options, choices and decisions to make.

We live in specific circumstances, context.

We have our unique Human Condition and Human Experience.

One thing I came to understand more and more is how we can Navigate our life.

That doesn’t mean we control the outcomes.

We do have some power over what we initiate.

How we engage with others.

How we show up on the playground of Life.

What we respond to and how we respond.

For that it is helpful if we have a sense of direction, a dream, a vision, a dot on the horizon. An idea of what we want or need.

In order to be able to plot a course, it is also very useful to know where we are, to have an understanding of who we are, truly. To be aware of our circumstances, our reality.

Once we embrace our personal power, our untapped potential, our unexpressed humanity, our life force and energy, we can Navigate our Human Journey with purpose, power and in a playful way.

We can use our creativity, curiosity, compassion and courage to be of service to the whole.

In the way we choose to play, in the present moment, we are able to influence our Narrative, our Story, to change the trajectory of our Human Journey.

To live a Life of Purpose, experience fulfillment and satisfaction as we Navigate the challenge we face, crossing thresholds together with the companions on our journey.

23/10/2024

Are you still satisfied with your current career? Or is time for a change?

In a previous post I shared some of the main reasons why a lot of people are no longer fulfilled and satisfied in their current work environment.

The work is no longer seen as meaningful, they don’t feel empowered by their manager or the experience of ongoing and increasing pressure and toxicity is no longer sustainable. There is a general lack of well being at work.

Together with the people I coach at the moment we take a forward looking approach, towards their dream job, so they can look forward to being part of a fulfilling and enjoyable work environment again.

The journey to that dream career, as I look at it, contains three foundational elements:

Step 1: Define your dot on the horizon, design your dream career.

In this first step in this journey we work with questions like: what is the perfect first or next career, for you?

If you could have it your way, what would it be?

The idea is to start building clarity towards a dream job, to get a better sense of direction.

Even if you may not find the 100% fit, having clarity on what you want may bring the job that has 80-90% fit and makes the journey a lot more pleasurable and less frustrating.

Step 2: Get to know yourself better and have a stronger foundation.

In this second step the intention is to have a strong starting point, a strong and solid foundation. A deep understanding of yourself.

3 of my favorite questions to use here are:

Who are you?

What do you want?

Why are you here?

These questions will help you to be able to formulate better answers during interviews and also show you how well you are aligned to your dream job and the jobs being offered out there.

Step 3: Co-create your individual and unique journey towards your dream career.

Based on the first two steps, having the bookends for the journey, which provides your direction and the foundation, we will co-create some specific steps for your individual and unique journey.

We will look at assets that need to be created or updated, look at your online presence, see how you can leverage your network and how to find the companies that are hiring for the career you desire.

When you have thought about these questions and found your answers and created your path, it will be easier to get ready for the next step, preparing for interviews.

More about that in a next post.

If you are willing to invest time, money and effort in landing that first or next career, defined and designed by you with my support and guidance as your coach, please let me know.

And if you know someone else who is looking for their first or next career and would like to have a companion on their journey, please share this post with them.