Stories and Jokes by Umar Abdulrazaq (2024)

23/03/2024

THE TWIST OF LIFE Episode 17

MRS. ADEBOYE: Don't worry. Just make sure you read your book and revise very well. Before you know it, you will know more than your friends that are attending coaching classes.

MRS. ADEBOYE: In fact, some those attend coaching classes and come with nothing. They go there, and waste their time chattering and gossiping. I'm not saying all of them, but some of them. If you have a goog personal reading plan, and you adhere to it very well, nothing stops you from performing excellently.

ADEBIMPE: Thanks, Mum. What you have said is true. Some of my friends just go there to "gist" about the latest clothes in town, the best musician in the country, the shows their sisters attended in Abuja; all sorts of trivial things.

MR. ADEBOYE: Hmm, you and this your big grammar. Where did you pick that word, "trivial"? Thank God we also went to school even though we are dropouts.

ADEBIMPE: I saw it while i was going through past question on the English language. It means something of little importance.

MRS. ADEBOYE: That's my lovely daughter. She is ready to tackle NECO.

They all laugh aloud. Within the family, they maintain a culture of happiness irrespective of what they are going through. They are grateful when they have sufficiently, and still thankful when they do not. They believe that no situation is unchangeable. Adebimpe does not relent in studying her books, even when she has no pocket money while her classmates are spending lavishly. Her mother keeps telling her to maintain her focus, and so she does. She has been made to believe that a family that sticks together, thrives together.

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19/03/2024

THE TWIST OF LIFE Episode 16

The other members of the class observe the shock on Seun's face; they turn their attention to know what is happening. She refuses to share the contents of the letter with them.
Bayo, known for his insistence, pesters Seun to tell him what Sandra has written in the letter. She does not budge.

SEUN: Bayo, please don't bring your problem now. If you want to know what is going on with Sandra, go to their house. At least, you are also her classmates as I'm.

BAYO: Go to Sandra's house? Anyway, I'm just showing concern.

ADEBIMPE: Bayo, it is alright.

Adebimpe informs her parents about Sandra's absence from the school. Her father also thinks, perhaps Sandra's father has another plan for his daughter. He knows in no circumstance will Mr. Chatta stop his daughter from going to school. Though Mr. Chatta might have advised him to let Adebimpe learn a trade, he can't think of such for his daughter. He believes Mr. Chatta has a better plan for his daughter.

Mrs. Adeboye: Adebimpe, don't be distracted by Sandra's issue. Her parents are well-to-do, so they can afford to pay for her exam again, even if she fails to write this.

Mr. ADEBOYE: That's true, Adebimpe. Did you hear what your mother has just said?

ADEBIMPE: Yes, I do. I'm just wondering what could have caused such a sudden disappearance.

Mr. ADEBOYE: That's alright. But it must not affect your preparation for the exams. How many days to go now?

ADEBIMPE: Just two days, dad. But I'm already through with the syllabus. I'm just revising my notes. Dad, my friends in the class inform me about a coaching class they attend in the evenings. It will help in the preparation for the exams.

Mr. ADEBOYE: Don't worry. Just make sure you read your book and revise very well. Before you know it, you will know more than your friends that are attending coaching classes.

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19/03/2024

THE TWIST OF LIFE Episode 15

After the assembly, the students enter their various classes. Adebimpe and her classmate begin to wonder Sandra's whereabouts; she has not been coming to school for the past few weeks. Can it be that her well-to-do father has taken her to a better school to write her NECO examination? Or perhaps, she is receiving a special study courtesy of her father.

ADEBIMPE: Seun, I'm sorry to bother you. But, where do you think Sandra is right now?

SEUN: I don't know her whereabouts.

ADEBIMPE: Hmm! Isn't she your friend anymore?

SEUN: And what does that intend to mean, Adebimpe?

ADEBIMPE: I thought you would know, actually, sorry.

As Seun is about to respond to Adebimpe's statement, a young boy, Olamide from the junior class enters the class and moves straight to where Seun is seated.He gives her a letter, and leaves for his class immediately. Seun is aware that Olamide lives in the same industrial estate where the Chattas reside, and that Olamide's fathee is Mr. Chatta's colleague. Adebimpe shifts her full gaze on Seun, wanting to know what is in the letter. Besides, she is really anxious to know Sandra's whereabouts.

ADEBIMPE: What is in the letter, Seun?

SEUN: Just wait till I open it to read now. Or is the letter sent to you?

ADEBIMPE: Her long absence from school baffles me a lot. Sorry, if I seem too curious.

SEUN: God! What!

ADEBIMPE: What is is, Seun?

SEUN: Sandra is not writing this examination with us.

ADEBIMPE: Are you serious? Why on earth will she do that? Has she been taken to another school?

SEUN: I don't know anything other than what she wrote in the letter. She didn't tell me why she won't be sitting for the final examinations.

16/03/2024

THE TWIST OF LIFE Episode 14

Mr. Chatta: Can you now see the reproach you and your useless daughter have brought with me? What else do you people want me to do? All you want i provide for you.

Mrs. Chatta: Don't say that, Daddy Sandra. Is it now my fault that she is pregnant?

Doctor: This is not necessary for noe. She has an attempted abortion, which failed. So she has to undergo treatments in order to avoid further complications.

Mr. Chatta: Thanks so much. Dr. Afolabi. And what is my bill?

Dr. Afolabi: You have to make a deposit of 100,000 Naira for now. You know, the treatment is still on; so we can't say until we are through with her.

Mr. Chatta: Hmm! Where will i get that now? My accounts have been frozen, Doctor. All the cash on me is less than 30,000 Naira. Please, what can i do?

Mrs. Chatta: Please, Doctor Afolabi, do something to help us. Ssve us from this mess. Daddy Sandra has just told you the truth; in fact the case is nasty in his office. just do it for Christ's sakes

Dr. Afolabi: I've tried enough for you. Let me remind you that, after 3 months or thereabouts, she will be on full admission here, so she can be monitored in order to ensure safe delivery. You know her reproductive system is stll fragile.

Mr. Chatta: God! Where will i get that amount of money? Dr. Afolabi, her mother will look for the money after all she is at the root of the problem. She has raised a daughter like herself.

Mrs. Chatta: That is not fair to say. I will try and raise something to support you, Daddy Sandra. I appreciate your kind -heartedness, Doctor.

Dr. Afolabi: You are welcome, MA. Just make sure you make the payment as soon as possible so we can commence the treatments.

Mr. Chatta: Alright, Doctor.

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16/03/2024

THE TWIST OF LIFE Episode 13

Mrs. Chatta: Sandra, I'm scared. You are getting me disturbed. Since the daybreak today, you have been vomiting. And besides, the nurse told me you aren't responding to treatment.

SANDRA: Sorry Mum. I will be alright, MA.

MR. CHATTA: Everything will be fine, okay? After all, the doctor has assured us so.

MRS. CHATTA: Yes, I know. But you know her exams will soon commence; she has to prepare for the exams. Or will she not join her classmates?

Mr. Chatta: I know, but we have to take it easy at this juncture. She will not miss the exams.

NURSE T**I: Excuse me , Mr. and Mrs. Chatta. I want to carry out some tests on Sandra. In the meantime, you can go and relax in the waiting room.

Mrs. Chatta walks around the waiting room, moving up and down. Mr. Chatta, after failed attempts, to calm his wife down, sits in the centre of the room reading a newspaper. Some minutes later, doctor Afolabi comes in with the results of the tests. The results unsettle Sandra's parents. Mr. Chatta's face squeezes in shock while Mrs. Chatta writhes on the floor. Sandra is Pregnant!

Mrs. Chatta: Sandra has destroyed my life. How come i didn't notice this all the while?

Dr. AFOLABI: Take it easy, MA She just needs to be taken care of because she is in a precarious state now.

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14/03/2024

THE TWIST OF LIFE Episode 12

MR. Chatta comes into his house looking sad. The Board of Directors of his company has decided to investigate some missing funds in the company's account. And consequently, they have requested all the executive officers to submit the details of their assets. He knows the reason is to have all their accounts frozen.
Mrs. Chatta can read from his face that something is wrong with him. He explains to her the situation of things in his office.

SANDRA: Dad, does that mean will you not be going to work again? Or you will not be paid anymore?

Mr. Chatta: Well, for now i will still be going to the office. it is just that i can't operate my accounts . The management has to conclude their investigation. Meanwhile, we have to manage our spending considering that we don't have much cash at hand

SANDRA: But Daddy, you know, my exam is approaching, and you know i have to get some things as part of my preparations.

Mrs. Chatta: Sandra, Dad understands you. Just exercise patience, things will be alright.

SANDRA : I pray so.

Mr. Chatta: What is for dinner? I'm famished.

Mrs. Chatta: Sorry, dear. The table is almost set. Sandra, get the plates ready for your Dad.

A few days before the examination, Sandra becomes ill and her parents take her to the hospital because her sickness is serious. Seeing the state of her illness, Doctor Afolabi, the Medical Director of the hospital, informs her parents that some tests will be carried out on her to know the exact nature of her ailment.
Mrs. Chatta looks so worried; she sits at the edge of the hospital bed where Sandra is lying.

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12/03/2024

THE TWIST OF LIFE Episode 11

Adebimpe informs her father about their examination schedule. He warns her to desist from anything that can distract her. He reminds her of what they go through before they can raise her school fees. She also decides to come out in flying colours.

MR. ADEBOYE: how many subjects are you writing in your exam?

ADEBIMPE: six subjects

MR. ADEBOYE: You know if you want to study on scholarship, you have to pass them excellently. You have to score high in each subject, if you have to study medicine in university.

ADEBIMPE: I understand, sir. I've designed a personal reading plan for myself. This shall help me in keeping with time.

Mrs. ADEBOYE: that is good, my daughter. That shows really want something out of this exam.

Mr. ADEBOYE: alright. I've been talking to a friend who promised to get me a place in their company. So i can find a means to raise some money for your Unified Tertiary Matriculation Examination. God will help us, I know that.

07/03/2024

THE TWIST OF LIFE Episode 9

When Sandra come home in the evening, she is so disturbed. She feels that her Dad will be disappointed in her score in the mathematics test. She hears a knock on her door. She actually thinks it is her father only to discover that it is Aduke, their maid. She has come to inform Sandra that food is ready. Sandra sends her a way saying she is not ready for food now. Shortly after Aduke leaves, Sandra's father, Mr. Chatta, arrives from his office. Aduke informs him that Sandra has refused to eat. She had been keeping to herself since she came back from school. He knocks on her door.

SANDRA: Who is that again?

MR. CHATTA: Dear, it is your Dad.

SANDRA: Dad, please come in. Welcome, Daddy.

MR. CHATTA: Thank you, dear, how has your day been?

SANDRA: Fine, thank God, sir.

MR. CHATTA: What is wrong with you? Aduke told me you have not eaten your food. You don't look alright to me. What could be wrong with you? Do you pay attention to what I'm saying at all?

SANDRA: Sorry, sir. I'm with you. I have disapointed you again, Dad.

MR.CHATTA: Is that why you have refused to eat? Come on, share with me what the problem is.

SANDRA: Dad, I messed up in my mathematics test. I had a poor score.

MR. CHATTA: What did you score?

SANDRA: I scored 3 out of 10. Mr. sofejo scolded me heavily for that. I'm just recovering from his beating.

MR. CHATTA: What went wrong? That is too low a score for a serious-minded student! Did you miss his class?

SANDRA: I lost my pen shortly before the test began so i had to wait for someone to finish for me to start the test.

MR. CHATTA: Pen! You mean that is why you failed. So you can't get enough pens from your pocket money?

SANDRA: I am sorry, Dad.

MR. CHATTA: It's alright. Don't repeat such again, please. If you perform excellently in your next exam, I promise you a gift. How about that?

SANDRA: I will not disappoint you, Dad. Thanks sir. I will join you for dinner soon.

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07/03/2024

THE TWIST OF LIFE Episode 8

SANDRA: Ha! See this fool saying all fingers are not egual. Trim your fingers if they are not equal then. Ajoke, don't pretend to be a good person, you are the worst.

AJOKE: Adebimpe, let's put this idiot on one side. Let me show you some of the notes you have missed.

ADEBIMPE: Thank you Ajoke. You have been a reliable friend.

AJOKE: Thanks for the compliment, my dear friend. Let's continue with the notes

BAYO: That is better.

The next day, Mr. Safejo, the mathematics teacher, after the day's lesson, gives the students sums to be solved in class. the whole class gets serious with the exercise knowing Mr. Safejo will not take any excuse from any of them as to why he or she fails it. Sandra's pen stops working and she becomes so disturbed. She can't continue with the exercise. She is reluctant to ask any of her classmates.

Mr. Safejo: You've only 10 minutes left. You have spent at least 30 minutes.

Adebimpe notices Sandra is disturbed. she certainly knows that something is wrong with her pen. She thinks of lending her the pen, but remembers the kind of person she is, full of pride and arrogance. She resolves to give the pen to her.

MR. SAFEJO: Five minutes more.

ADEBIMPE: Sir, I am through.

MR. SAFEJO: Ok, that's good.

ADEBIMPE: Sandra, I know you are in need of a pen. Will you use mine?

SANDRA: No, thank you.

(Adebimpe throws the pen at her)

ADEBIMPE: You'd better use it.

SANDRA: Thank you.

BAYO: Hmm, this is interesting.

After the time Mr. Safejo stipulates for the exercise runs out, he collects their answers, though everyone in the class has finished except for Sandra who has yet to answer one question in the exercises. Sandra becomes unhappy with herself; she fears the punishment that will be meted to her since it is certain that she will fail the exercise.

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07/03/2024

THE TWIST OF LIFE Episode 6

MR. ADEBOYE: Please; I know you do. I beg you, if you lend me this money i wan't come to you for any assistance again. My daughter needs to learn; she must go back to school.
MR. CHATTA: See my friend, that's the issue with you people; you are too ambitious. If you can't afford her school fees, let her learn a trade.
MR. ADEBOYE: Ha! Mr. Chatta. She is the only one i have; she is my hope. I don't want her to end up an illiterate.
Mr. Chatta: All i have is what i have give you; take her to where she can learn a trade.
Mr.Adeboye; Please, I prom...
Mr.Chatta: Sandra!
Sandra: Yes, Dad!
Mr.Chatta: Please, my dear. As soon as this man leaves, get a broom and sweep this place. Don't allow his misfortune to infect us.
Sandra: Yes, sir.
Mr. Adeboye can not believe what he hears and seed. He is shocked that mr. Chatta invites his daughter to join him in his outpouring of insults. He stands from the sofa and moves toward the door.
Mr. Adeboye: Thanks sir, but i want you to know that only God knows tomorrow.

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07/03/2024

THE TWIST OF LIFE Episode 5

GATEKEEPER: Sir, This man here said he wants to see you, but he refuses to tell me why.
Mr. CHATTA: Who is the person?
GATEKEEPER: One Mr Adeboye.
Mr. CHATTA: Oh, let him in.
GATEKEEPER: You can go in, Oga.
Mr. Adeboye moves in. He is amazed at the exquisite interior of Mr. Chatta's sitting room. The TV set seems to him like a board on the wall. Swiftly, he estimates how much this must have cost his friend. This mist be worth a fortune, he wonders. He sits on the sofa, regaining himself from his wandering mind. He goes straight to the issue that brings him there.
Mr. ADEBOYE: Please, I need your assistance. My daughter was sent home from school because I'm yet to pay up her school fees. I will be very happy if you can loan me some money. I Promise to pay back as soon as possible.
Mr. CHATTA: Anyway, I'm not surprised your visit has to do with money. Immediately i learned you were the one at gate, I knew it. If your wife is not sick, your grandfather in the village will die. You will always find a reason to ask for money. The fact is, as i am now, I don't have anything to lend you.

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07/03/2024

THE TWIST OF LIFE Episode 4

Adebimpe enters the house. She explains to her father how the principal insists on sending the debtor out of the school. Mr. Adeboye calms his daughter; he wonders how bad Adebimpe must have felt discovering she is the only one yet to pay. He thinks about how to raise the money and pay up her school fees. He can't afford to keep Adebimpe out of school for a long time. He decides to see his friend, Mr. Chatta, who coincidentally is Sandra's father if he can assist him with some money.
He knocks on Mr. Chatta's gate. The gatekeeper come forward to know who is at the gate.
Mr. ADEBOYE: I am Mr. Adeboye. Is Mr. Chatta in? Tell him i want to see him.
Mr. ADEBOYE: Why all these question? Can you please inform him that I'm here to see him?
Their exchange alerts Mr. Chatta who comes out to know what is going on at the gate.
Mr. CHATTA: What is happening there?
GATEKEEPER: Sir, This man here said he wants to see you, but he refuses to tell me why.

07/03/2024

THE TWIST OF LIFE Episode 10

Mr. Adewale, the principal of the school, announces the examination dates to the students. He asks them to be well prepared for the examinations. After the principal has dismissed them, and they have all settled down in their various classes, Seun notices a magazine in Sandra's hand. He wonders if she has heard what the principal said in the assembly.

SEUN: Sandra, what are you doing with a romance magazine in school, and you know exam is fast -approaching? Is that how you are preparing for the exam?

SANDRA: What exactly is your problem? Can't you just mind your business?

BAYO: Interesting. A shot on target!

SEUN: You are just an idiot, Bayo. But seriously, Sandra, I don't think that is what you should be reading right now. A stitch in time, they say, saves nine.

SANDRA: Thank you, I will read later. Are you okay with that? I'm just using the magazine as a guide in my new relationship. My boyfriend and I exchange text messages a lot, so i pick out of what i read in the magazine to send to him.

SEUN: Honesty you have to put an end to all distractions

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04/03/2024

THE TWIST OF LIFE Episode 3

Everyone in the class starts making a jest of Sandra. The class becomes noisier, so that no one knows when Mrs. Fakeye enters.
Mrs. Fakeye: What is going on here? Are you all deaf?
Bayou: Excuse me, MA. Sandra and Ajoke were fighting.
Mrs. Fakeye: You are all uncultured and i promise to teach you a lasting lesson for your stupid acts. Go on your knees!
Bayo: All of us or those that are fighting, Mr?
Mrs. Fakeye: You must be very stupid to ask me such a question. Stand up everybody! I will give you five strokes of the cane each for disturbing the whole school.Next time you will disist from such stupid acts.
After she has chastised them, she leaves the class to her office. The flogging has changed the mood of everyone. They become quiet, though some of them are disgruntled.
AYO: See what this stupid girl has caused us. When last did we get a flogging like this?
Bayo: Don't mind that idiot you call Sandra; she is always the one that gets everyone in this class into trouble. Only God will deliver us from her.
Sandra: Don't ever mention my name.
Seun: Sandra!
Bayo: Leave the idiot, I can handle her.
Seun: Bayo, your own is too much! Can't you just forget about it?
Bayo: Alright. I let it go.

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04/03/2024

THE TWIST OF LIFE Episode 2

The students sit in the classroom. In low voices, they talk to one another, but Sandra is left out. They neglect her because she is proud and troublesome. She sights Ajoke some few desks away from hers. The tow of them have never been on good terms. Ajoke's stare annoys her, so she stands to challenge her.
Sandra: Hey! What is your problem? Why are you staring at me?
Ajoke: Did i ever inform you of any problem ?
Sandra: You must be insane! Do you knoe who you are talking to?
Ajoke: Who, on earth, do you think you are? Anyway, for the record, I'm sane.
Sandra: You must be very stupid. Ajoke stands from her seat, and gives Sandra a slap on the face. The whole class is shocked by Ajoke's bold reaction to Sandra's rudeness. They cheer Ajoke at her courage in silencing Sandra.
Bayo: Ajoke! Do you want to kill her? know she is a rude girl, but she can't fight.
Sandra: Bayo, You are nothing but a stupid boy.
Everyone in the class starts making a jest of Sandra. The class becomes noisier, so that no one knows when Mrs. Fakeye enters.
please follow up for continuation.

03/03/2024

THE TWIST OF LIFE Episode 7

Mr. Adeboye, after many failed attempts, to raise money from his friends, one of whom advised him to consider ritual money, decides to act on his wife's advice. Mrs. Adeboye has suggested that her husband should consider selling some of their home appliances like the TV and radio sets, fridge etc, so as to raise money. He sells some of them and raises money to pay his daughter's school fees. Adebimpe returns to school happily.
AJOKE: Thank God, she is back!
SEUN: Who is back?
AJOKE: Adebimpe of course.
SANDRA: So you mean this poor girl can still come back to this school?
AJOKE: Oh, and what do you want to do about that?
SANDRA: Ajoke, don't get me mad!
ADEBIMPE: Good morning, everyone!
AJOKE: Good morning my dear friend.
SANDRA: So you have finally paid your school fees?
ADEBIMPE: Yes,I have.
BAYO: Adebimpe, you are welcome back.
ADEBIMPE: Thank you!
SEUN: Hmm! Hypocrite. That is exactly what you are.
BAYO: Did i just talk to you now?
Adebimpe: It is alright guys.You don't have to quarrel over such issues. Lest i forget, Ajoke, can i get a spare pen from you? I misplaced mine on my way to school. Funny enough, I don't have a penny on me.
AJOKE: I don't have but don't worry, I will ask from others.
ADEBIMPE: Ok, thank you.
Ajoke asks around in the class to see if she can get a pen for Adebimpe. Sandra displays four pens on her desk trying to make Ajoke see she can afford to give to Adebimpe.
SANDRA: Except someone wants to experience misfortune, she shouldn't come for a spare pen.
AJOKE: Ha! Just because of a pen ? I bet no one needs your pen. What an insult!
SANDRA: Just because of a pen, you said. Yeah, I just wonder why she can't afford a 10 Naira pen.
BAYO: Adebimpe, you can have this. Don't mind that arrogant girl.
ADEBIMPE: Thank you, Bayo. Sandra, I want you to know that all fingers are not equal, and that wealth is like a bird; it nests on a tree today, and another tree tomorrow.

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Stories and Jokes by Umar Abdulrazaq

23/03/2024

19/03/2024

19/03/2024

16/03/2024

16/03/2024

14/03/2024

12/03/2024

07/03/2024

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