A.Y jokes

25/02/2023

I TOOK MY HUSBAND TO MORTUARY BECAUSE I WAS FED UP WITH HIS ALCOHOLISM.😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

My husband was a drunkard.....every time I was called to go and take him out of the gutters he fell into drunk. Sometimes I found him in a coma. My family asked me to leave him but I didn't want because I was hoping he will change.

At a point, I got tired and I couldn't take it any longer, so I decided to change the situation some other way.

One day I was called as usual to pick him up and I went. I carried him straight to the morgue. I negotiated with the mortuary attendant to lay him on the ground there with other corpses that were brought that day awaiting to be put in the mortuary fridge.

Two hours later my husband woke up and began to beg that they should not put him in the fridge because he is not dead.
The mortuary attendant started to whip him saying "You're among of the corpses that come here to do witchcraft and be disturbing, go lie down there.!"
My husband begged and begged and after a bit of flogging, the mortuary attendant finally let him out. 😂😂

*Now...........*
Anytime they are advertising any alcoholic drink on the television, he will Run towards the table and switch off the TV and go to Bed 🤭🤭😆😆😂😂😂😂😂

I swear..If you're not following me yet, then you're missing a lot,
You don't have to enter aeroplane to follow me 😄😄😂 Just tap and follow
my profile
A.Y jokes

Storntex😋A.Y jokesA.Y jokes

25/02/2023

😹🙉💙 THANKS FOR FORGETTING ABOUT AY♥️

1. People will be calling each other my love, my blood on social media. But when it’s time to help. Everybody blood go dry and all the love go fly 😏😂

2. Those of you skipping my post may big cattarh fall from your nose in front of your crush.Amen🙏

3. Africa is not moving forward, because we still have some people who smells their armpit to decide if they will bath or not 😂

4. Prostitution is the only industry where fresh employees are paid more than the experienced ones.🏃‍♂️

5. I will never forget until that day in shoprite when a white man's daughter pointed my friend saying "Dad buy me that monkey" 😅

6. Wonders shall never cease.
Nigeria lawyer takes Israel and Italy to international court for k!lling Jesus, Plan to use Bible as Evidence.😅

7. My girlfriend said she will leave me if I don't stop posting jokes,
I beg u people should give me 10 minutes I want to help her pack her things and come and post my next joke for today
🏃‍♂️😎

8. Paul Walker was killed by his car. Dj Arafat was killed by his bike. Kobe Bryant was killed by his helicopter.

I have been staring at my wheelbarrow since morning...I am not touching it!😂

9. Him: Hey what's up?

Her: Nothing much.. converting Oxygen into Carbon dioxide.

Him: How the hell do you do that?!

Her: Breathing........ Dude.

😂🙆🏽‍♂

10. If there is no one to hold your hands, just put them in your pocket and keep on moving.🙏💪

11. I still don't understand how cockroaches survive inside an OVEN.? Yuh'll be roasting your chicken and suddenly yuh see them walking like Shadrack, Misheck and Abednego..Afrancho cockroaches I salute yuh😱

12. ⚡ ATTENTION PLS WE APPRECIATE U ALL TO INVITE 50 OF UR FRIENDS TO JOIN US HERE GOD BLESS U AS U Do.

24/02/2023

OYA, ITS TIME TO LAUGH.😁😂🤣😂😂

Two couples agreed that whenever they want to make love...

They will call it 👉PHONE CALL👈 so that their children won't understand.

So One good day, Dad sends Son to tell Mum

that he wanna make a 👉PHONE CALL👈

So, the child went and told his Mum😁😁😁🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶

MUM replies: tell your Dad, that the Network is busy today.🥺🥺😮😮🙂😁🤣

DAD replies: tell your Mum that the call is urgent, that if the Network is busy... 🥺🥺

then am going to a PUBLIC PHONE BOOTH.🙄🤨🤔🤔🤔

MUM replies: tell him that if he dare goes to a Public Phone Booth...

then i will OPEN a Business Center and all

👉PHONE CALLS👈 will be FREE 🙄😁😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

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👉 A.Y jokes 👈A.Y jokesA.Y jokes

02/02/2023

I went to a running competition and i took first position na so dem call police they talk say I dey run like thief 😥😥

26/01/2023

1" Sisters be careful of those guys that stores yoghurt, banana, groundnut & kwunu in their refrigerators.They re not friendly at all😂🤣🤣

2" That she kissed you on the forehead doesn't mean she is very Romantic, Maybe ur mouth is smelling 🤔🙄

3" Two Weeks into a relationship, you have taken all your clothes to his house. Sister, is he a Tailor?💁‍♀️💁‍♀️

4" When guys get jealous, it's actually kinda cute. When girls get jealous, World war lll is about to start!🙄😂😂

5" Am in my neighbor's house & they are about to eat, I'm seeing 4plates & we are 5. I wonder who is not hungry😂

6" From the first time I heard the sentence help Ne God in Nigeria pledge, I knew i entered the wrong country.😂🤣

7" I don't want 2 tell anyone dt my neighbor wey be police officer dey put his uniform for Nylon dey go work these days b4 they end him🏃🏃😂😂

8" Please how much does it take to build a Gas Station, i don't want to waste the 5k in my account🚶🚶

9" Ladies keep surrounding your bed with Teddy bears till one night when one of them will touch u & say, Mummy! Mummy!! I want to pee!!!👹👺😂😂😂🤣🤣

10" "I No Dey Eat For Person House Is Not When i Visit a friend that Cooked Fried Rice With Turkey..My Broda Hunger Na Bastard😂😂🤣

11" Naija Mom Will beat u Mercilessly and later finds out that u are not the oe that break the bottle,they will never ever Apologize" they will be lyk Akindele Don't tell me that you are still shading this tears because of this small thing I beat u...0ya take this money and buy the biscuits you asked me last Month🙆‍♀️🙆‍♀️😂😂🤣🤣

12" Only the Words of Naija Mom Is More painful that 200 Strokes of Cane🤣🤣😂😂😂😂

A.Y✌️🧐

18/01/2023

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18/01/2023

Thanks all for the 1k followers😍,my tops fand please gather here.

18/01/2023

1. I was coming back from town when I met Jehovah witness😍 people knocking MY door😝
I joined them😂…we knock knock knock till we got tired and they left😂😂😂

2. You saw him with another girl and you started crying. When he told you that you are "one in a million",what were you thinking😒🤣🤣

3. I seriously need 2 stop listening 2 people’s gossip in a taxi, I nearly followed someone home just to hear d rest of d story🙄🙄😂😂

4. The way some people select roasted corn🌽ehh, you will think they are choosing a life partner.
🙄🙄🙄

5. I was slapped by a soldier today for stepping on his foot.
I wanted to hit him back, I just remembered exd: 14 vs 14
“the lord shall fight for me and I will hold my peace”😂😂😂*if not for that, I would have beat nonsense commot from the soldier body*😂😂😂

6. Some Girls with round face would go and do heavy makeup and end up looking like digestive biscuits 😂 😁🏃🏃

7. If your girlfriend doesn’t provoke you, bro dump her she’s fake! Real girlfriends behaves like evil spirits 😂😂 guyz are u with me?

8. You’ll stay awake till 12AM just to wish someone’s girlfriend a _Happy Birthday,_. Accurate Time Keeper, Welldone, Sir Assistant Boyfriend 😂😂😂

9. Work hard until you get rich to the extent that when you see a cockroach in your house.
Instead of k!lling it. You just move out and buy new house..
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
👨

10. If she’s angry with you for no reason, Calm her down, draw her closer, hold her waist, draw her head closer then kn0ck her.
I hate n0nsense.
😫😫😂😂💔💔💔

11. How can someone be so broke that when you call his number its says”sorry!, the number you are trying to call cannot be RICH!😂😂😂😉

12. The way some Nigerian girls like guys with cars, you will think they were breastfed with petrol and engine oil.😅😅😅

13. Girls will be sleeping naked and when rat get them pregnant they will be accusing us the innocent boyfriend.*
I won’t accept that thing ooooooo. Walahi
😒😒😒
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12/01/2023

We all know country is hard,🤕but why you dey flash me for WhatsApp 😡

01/01/2023

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Happy New Year 2023 😋💃🏼💃💃

30/12/2022

25/12/2022

Merry Christmas to you all and a prosperous new year ahead .

16/12/2022

A Nigerian teacher was sent to China to teach....The first day he
entered the class, he decided to call attendance. He called d first name, "Sheng", a student stood up and answered "present sir". He called the second name "chu muon ", another student answered "present sir".Suddenly he sneezed "hatchia". One student seated at the corner stoop up and said, "present sir". He surprisingly exclaimed, "hmmm". All the students shouted "absent sir".At this moment, he got confused and said, "Chai". Three students immediately stood up and said,"which of us sir".The teacher became even more confused and asked, "what is wrong"?? A student stood up and answered," sir, I am not wrong. I am called Wong " Now the teacher could not help it but laughed out" hahaha...... A girl stood up and answered, "present sir". The teacher cøllapsed 🤣

Please 🥺🙏 add or follow me for more interesting jokes 🙏

God bless you abundantly 🥰🙏

14/12/2022

Laugh out loud 😊😊😊😁😁
1) "I can Táke Any Búllét Just For You", Says A Man who 7 Núrses Hóld to give hím Injéction😂😂
2) "I'll Take yóu Around The Wórld ", Says A Man Who doésn't Have Internátional Pâssport🙆😂
3) "My Héart Is Just Thínking About You, Says A Man who cânnot Lâbel that same héart in Biólogy😒🤭😂
4) " I'll Give You the Whóle World ", Says A Man who doesn't Know The Shápe Of The Earth🙊😭😂😂
5) " I can't Dáte a Bróke Gúy", Says A Girl Who Bórrow Aírtime from MπN, To the Extént that MπN have to be Prómising her 5 houses, If She can Just Récharge😭😂😂😂
6) "I'll Béat Any Guy That triés to Toúch My Girlfriend", Says A Guy That Didn't Usé that hánd to Answer Question In Class 🤭🙉😂
7) " I Cán't Bréathe Without You ", Says A Guy Who Use that same Nóse to Sméll his Bóxers if he can wéar it for Another 1 wéek🙊😂😂😂😂
8) "I have Never Chéat Anyone, So Why I chéat On You?", says A Lady Who puts #20 As Offering Money in Church, If She can chéat On The Almighty God, My Bróther, Who are yóu??🙉😂😂
9)" No Mátter How your Parents Lâboured Over You, They'll néver Smile ovér you", says the Dévil;
Not knówing that,....As Far as Gód still Sits on The Throne, You'll Make your Parents proúd, Not Only them- You'll also make Your Friends, Néighbors, The Whole World, And even Me,...You'll Make Me proúd, I'm Just waíting for that day, And it wón't be Fâr, Very Sóon😢

I'll be So Happy To Have You as My Fríend😢

Cutie, If No One Cares to Make Your Blessed Sóul Smile, Just Know That I Do A Lot, 🥺😔

You wanna be My Best Friend?🙈🥺

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14/12/2022

How old were you when you realized that letter A is not in the spellings of any number from 1-100 ??
Don't lie oo 😂

14/12/2022

Follow to follow
No faking

13/12/2022

On my wedding day, maths paper will be distributed. You fail, no food for you🙂
I cannot be feeding olodo 😒😒👀🚶

12/12/2022

so I will also behave mature in front of my kids one day and be watching news,me that like Nickelodeon.

07/12/2022

My top fans signify

07/12/2022

I will not post today
abi did I post🙄🙄🙄

04/12/2022

03/12/2022

READ CAREFULLY ❤️🥰😭😢

PENCIL✏️: " I'm sorry😓..

ERASER: " For what??
You didn't do anything wrong😇..

PENCIL✏️: " I'm sorry, you get hurt because of me😓..Whenever I make a mistake,you're
always there to erase it, But as you make my
mistakes vanish, you lose a part of
yourself and get smaller and smaller each
time😭😓...

ERASER: " That's true☺️, but I don't really
mind👐, You see😍, I was made to do this, I was
made
to help you whenever you do something
wrong,
even though one day I
know I'll be gone😊☺️.. I'm actually happy with
my job😊.. So please, stop worrying I hate
seeing you sad💔😓....

MORAL OF THE STORY:😓
"Our Parents are like the eraser❤, where as
we
children are the
pencil✏️..They're always there for their
children cleaning up their
mistakes.. Sometimes along the way they
get hurt💔😓 and become smaller(older and
eventually pass on😭)
Take care of your Parents, treat them with kindness and most especially love them."
May God give your parents long life, and if they are not alive, may their søuls remain resting in peace AMEN!!🙏❤️❤️

Happy Weekend friends ❤️🥰

03/12/2022

1 cup of rice contains 4,832seed,
don't buy if it's not complete, l will count garri tommorow🙄😒🤣😂

29/11/2022

Add me up

22/11/2022

Send a message to learn more

11/11/2022

Me and my choir.
Choir: Imeeeh Imela, Imela Jehovah Imela
Me: Eye nail kele gymnastic email her. 😩🤣

10/11/2022

Co***ne In Firewood

"Hello?" "Hello, Is This The Nigeria Police?" I Asked. A Voice From The Other End Replied, "Yes. And Asked, ''What Do You Want?" I Replied, "I'M Calling To Report My Neighbour Kasim. He Is Hiding Co***ne In His Firewoods." "This Will Be Noted." They Said. The Next Day, The Police Came To Kasim'S House. They Searched The Shed Where The Firewoods Were Kept, Cut Every Piece Of The Firewoods Into Two, Found No Co***ne, And Left. I Called Kasim On Phone, "Hello Kasim! Did The Police Come?" "Yes!" He Replied. "Did They Cut Your Firewoods Into Two For You?" I Asked. "Yes They Did." He Replied. "Okay!" I Said, "Now It'S Your Turn To Call The Police. I Want My Land To Be Cleared."

A.Y