Auwal tijjani

18/01/2024

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15/01/2024

Goat🐐 fight for yam ,Dog 🐕fight for bone
Bird🕊️fight for🌽 corn
Lion🐆fight for🦘meat
Boys🧔fight for what....?

10/08/2023

A man was suspect!ng his wife of cheating he decided to go to his village and consult a juju man. The juju man told him to come back in two weeks bringing along some sample of sand from his yard. 🤔🤔🤔So the man went back after two weeks with the sample of sand.🚶🏼🚶🏼🚶🏼The juju man performed his r!tuals and said to the man...."I don't know if you can handle hearing this. The man said go ahead. I want to hear it.👀👀👀The juju man said the two boys you have are not your sons, your daughter is seeing five different men and your wife is pregnant for your younger brother".The man started laughing. The juju man asked him why he was laughing, after all these bad news. The man responded, I don't know if you can handle this. The juju man said go ahead. The man said, I was running late and I forgot to bring the sand sample from my yard, so I dug out some from your compound. 🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃😂😂😂😅😅 BABALAWO SHOUTED
"Awusubilahi"

✍️📸: Unknown

09/08/2023

hahahaha😂😂😂😂😂😅😅😅😅

05/08/2023

LETTER TO MY LANDLORD

Dear Able Landlord, It's me victor, the tenant you gave double quit notice the other day. I don finally pack. Yes! I pack today. But e get small confessions wey I wan yarn you laidis:

1. Ireti your daughter don get belle! Yes you read that right, and na me give am belle... no vex!. The way e happen sef I no fit explain, e even shock her sef... we no plan am like dis. You be my fellow man and I hope you understand say na accidental discharge... e fit happen to anybody, but I promise say e no go happen again. I for like be ur son-in-law but you're a bad man. Yes!

2. Bingo your dog no lost, na chop we chop am!
I know say dis one go shock you pass bcoz we follow you search for am. No be only me chop bingo, we dey three. Me, your caretaker and one other hausa man. Oga LandLord, bingo sweet die!... I use am cook soup, cook rice, cook stew, even use am cook beans. Omo! the dog get natural oil for body... And i know say you go dey plan to lay curse on me, the curse no go work, bcoz I pray before I chop am. I know say I bad, but you see that your caretaker? na evil man. Him get liver collect the lion share despite say na me bring up the idea... can you imagine?

3. Oga Landlord, I know say when you
return from your journey you go dey find your keke. The thing be say I sell am dis morning. Money bin no too dey my hand and I suppose settle one or two agent for this new compound I wan park into, no too reason am.

The iron condemn man bin dey price am 25k but I say nooo. How I go sell Keke wey still dey in good condition for 25k? e no good na.

So Las Las I come add ur wheelbarrow make everything be round figure. So the iron condemn man come later pay me 30k for everything. Na the money I use transport myself, and na from there I go take cook soup when I reach.

I drop 2k under your door mat, so when you come you carry am hold body. E no good say I sell your property without dropping something, my conscience no go allow me rest.
😅😄🤩🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

05/08/2023

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05/08/2023

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04/08/2023

Hey babyyyyyyys 😊🌱

So today, my wives ganged up not to cook for me until I tell them who Dorcas is. Me wey no even get time, I just took small money, went to a nearly canteen to get something to eat...

When I got there, there were lots of people there but I managed to get a table. I ordered, and in few minutes time, my food was brought

I wasted no time. I grabbed my spoon and filled my mouth with rice...My eyes opened widely as I spat it out in disgust.... "Who cooked this food" I yelled! The food was the worst thing I've ever tasted. it was as if I was eating lot's wife (Pillar of salt).... It was unlike that canteen because that wasn't the first time I was eating there

I kept shouting and calling on the manager, I mean my 200 naira cannot just waste naw...

A fine man appeared and asked wats going on. I demanded to see the fuuul that cooked the food..... He tried pleading saying the lady was just a new staff but I paid deaf ears, that person that cooked that food must have a piece of my mind.

After much plea, the manager finally gave up and called on the person that cooked the food....
I was still boiling in anger when a beautiful lady, with figure 8 walked up to me saying she was the one that cooked it

That was when I realized that there's nothing actually wrong with the food.... I mean, it's just salt naw
Where have u seen that salt kïlled someone...
And besides, shebi the bible said "we are the salt of the earth" 😭

Source: Auwal tijjani

04/08/2023

Today I was in the bus, going to look for job.

There was this beautiful girl seated next to me.

And yes, I started talking to her.

Ayo no fit dull where fine girl dey.

We kept talking and talking.

As a sharp shooter, Girl like you know normally as a fine girl.. Your boyfriend suppose to be ordering bolt for you. I said.

Personally I can't Allow my woman sit in a public transport. I said

She looked at me with that really eye?.

For boys its normal, but you know. I want to treat my woman Like a queen that she truly Is.

I was still sweet talking her, when we reached a bus stop that some people were coming down.

The conductor asked some of us seated beside the window to pay so that he can have change to settle some of the passengers coming down.

My concentration was still on the beautiful girl seated next to me when I paid the money.

When the conductor has settled some of the passengers that came down.

Oga where your own money dey? the conductor asked me.

Which kind of prank is this, this early morning.. I have paid you already. I said.

Oga don't play with me. You gave your friend money and he paid me for his transport. He said you will pay yours when you reach your bus stop. the conductor said.

What's happening there? the driver asked.

The conductor explained everything to him.

Oga driver you have heard na.. na so e be.. How e go be now? because I no get another money here o. I told him.

Your papa dey give me fuel free nii? the driver shouted at me.

suddenly, the car stopped.

Babe; I will see you when you get back. the girl seated next to me told the driver as she came down from the bus.

Alright. Stay safe. the driver said.

She is your girlfriend self. I told the driver.

He was quiet.

It was because of her I paid another person the money wey I supposed to pay you o. i said

He was quiet.

I have reached my bus stop. I said.

Instead he increased his speed.

Me:
Please follow up for more fun Auwal tijjani

04/08/2023

😂😂✌✌✌😂😂
When I was in class 6, I used to ask a lot of questions. .....!
One day, I asked my English Teacher, "Why do we ignore some letters in pronunciation eg. the letter H .......in Hour, Honour. .....etc. ......??????
My English Teacher said, " We are not ignoring them; they're considered silent "......
(I was even more confused .....?????)
During the lunch break, my Teacher gave me her packed lunch and asked me to heat it in the Cafeteria.
I ate all the food and returned her the empty container...!!!!
My English Teacher : What happened Pelekelo? I told you to go and HEAT my food, you are returning me an empty container.
I replied, "Madam, I thought 'H' was silent.
So I eat it
😂😂✌😃😃😃

God’s blessings to everyone That Encourage me by following me auwal tijjani

03/08/2023

How to hack pos follow for guardians