Nairaplay

17/02/2023

17/02/2023

NEPA think say nah Dem wicked pass. I show Dem wickedness today, dem bring light i no charge my phone make d light waste😎

17/02/2023

Facebook killed 2go
Xender killed Bluetooth
Iphone killed android
Your glory will kill your enemies.... 🙏🙏🙏🙏

17/02/2023

Joke of the day

A beer company was hiring a taster, Someone to taste the beers before they are taken for selling. So they placed adverts and one afternoon, my father walked into the manager's office asking to be employed.

The manager tried to figure out how he could drive him away but couldn't come up with an idea, so he decided to give him a trial. He ordered his secretary to give him a glass of wine 🍷

He took a sip and said, "It's Red wine, Varietal, three years old, grown on rift valley, matured in steel containers."

"That's correct!" The manager exclaimed, "Well give him another one let's see." So he was given.

He took a sip again and said, "It's Guinness, a combination of barley, roast malt extract, and brewers yeast brewed around Thika road in Nairobi, Kenya 2 years ago"

"Incredible!" said the manager.

Now the manager went closer to the secretary and whispered to her saying, "Go get some of your urine in a cup let's see if he will get that."

So my father was given the cup of urine. He took a sip, turned to the manager and said, "Female urine, 26 years old, 2 weeks pregnant and if I'm not given this job, Sir I will tell your wife who is responsible for the pregnancy"

both the manager and the secretary fainted 😁😳

My father got the job✌
Copied

20/09/2022

Access Bank and Zenith Bank Are the leading Commercial Banks in Nigeria by Total Assets in 2022 (View List)

https://gistamines.com/access-bank-and-zenith-bank-are-the-leading-commercial-banks-in-nigeria-by-total-assets-in-2022-view-list/

This is to notify the general public that the official list Nigerian top commercial banks has been revealed, with Access Bank and Zenith bank on the leading..

18/09/2022

“Bet me, you go run from Naija” – Davido reacts after man threatened to slap his babymama, Chioma

https://gistamines.com/bet-me-you-go-run-from-naija-davido-reacts-after-man-threatened-to-slap-his-babymama-chioma/

Popular Nigerian singer, Who is well known as (Davido) , has lashed out at a social media troll who threatened to slap his ex-fiancée, Chioma...

13/09/2022

If getting Married is Your Next Agenda,
May God bless you with a partner that will never get tired of You.🤵👰

07/09/2022

07/09/2022

07/09/2022

07/09/2022

LETTER TO MY LANDLORD

Dear Able Landlord, It's me victor, the tenant you gave double quit notice the other day. I don finally pack. Yes! I pack today. But e get small confessions wey I wan yarn you laidis:

1. Ireti your daughter don get belle! Yes you read that right, and na me give am belle... no vex!. The way e happen sef I no fit explain, e even shock her sef... we no plan am like dis. You be my fellow man and I hope you understand say na accidental discharge... e fit happen to anybody, but I promise say e no go happen again. I for like be ur son-in-law but you're a bad man. Yes!

2. Bingo your dog no lost, na chop we chop am!
I know say dis one go shock you pass bcoz we follow you search for am. No be only me chop bingo, we dey three. Me, your caretaker and one other hausa man. Oga LandLord, bingo sweet die!... I use am cook soup, cook rice, cook stew, even use am cook beans. Omo! the dog get natural oil for body... And i know say you go dey plan to lay curse on me, the curse no go work, bcoz I pray before I chop am. I know say I bad, but you see that your caretaker? na evil man. Him get liver collect the lion share despite say na me bring up the idea... can you imagine?

3. Oga Landlord, I know say when you
return from your journey you go dey find your keke. The thing be say I sell am dis morning. Money bin no too dey my hand and I suppose settle one or two agent for this new compound I wan park into, no too reason am.

The iron condemn man bin dey price am 25k but I say nooo. How I go sell Keke wey still dey in good condition for 25k? e no good na.

So Las Las I come add ur wheelbarrow make everything be round figure. So the iron condemn man come later pay me 30k for everything. Na the money I use transport myself, and na from there I go take cook soup when I reach.

I drop 2k under your door mat, so when you come you carry am hold body. E no good say I sell your property without dropping something, my conscience no go allow me rest.
😅😄🤩🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

02/09/2022

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02/09/2022

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01/09/2022

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01/09/2022

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31/08/2022

What can a girl drink to avoid pregnancy after s*x
Please be fast am in trouble 😭😭😭😭😭😭

30/08/2022

He was paying N9,000,000 yearly for 3 bedroom flat in Maitama, Abuja. It was later increased to 10M and he was paying. No savings. No investment. He's working. He believed and depended on his salary. It will surely be coming.

His argument:

"When you live in the neighborhood of big men, you will behave like big men. You roll with big men. Packaging. You network".

His junior colleagues went to the developing areas like Lugbe, FO1 Kubwa, Ushafa and bought lands in the selling estates there.

They used their salary and built to their satisfaction, the kind of house they needed. They also rented the boys quarters and build other commercial houses they rented out.

This man in Maitama was making mockery of those friends of his for living in the outskirts of the city.

He said they live in the village and shouldn't claim they are in Abuja. He always argued that living in the neighborhood of the rich makes you have respect, you network.

Fast forward to the second tenure of Bubu, something happened. The man was sacked.

Remember, for the past 10 years, he has been paying rent between 9M to 10M in Maitama when all his mates became landlords.

His rent is expiring next month, no money to renew it or even get another one.

He told one of his friends — those he laughed at for staying in the village to give him a flat from his house. He sent him the number of the property lawyer.

"Excuse me. You are my friend. You should give me this for free. You know what I am passing through".

His friend replied him:

"Building materials didn't come to me for free. The land I bought wasn't for free. Please, my house has been handed over to a lawyer.

If you need it, call him, he will tell you the price. There are others who need it. I can only convince my lawyer to give it to you because we are friends. So, if you are serious about it, you let me know".

He paused, they paused; both of them paused.

This is not fiction. I know those involved.

Over 10 years of living in the neighborhood of the rich, ọga is still poor.

Think and plan your life. Where you live doesn't matter. What matters is you and the value you create.
Stay in the forest, the world will find you.
©
Michael CrownHon Michael Onyemaechi Njoku -Crown