Ella Peace

01/10/2022

62!

62 doesn't suit you.
For as a child you still behave, setting greediness mixed with foolishness as a food in front you. You play with the lives of the masses as a child playing with sand

62 doesn't sit well with you.
For as a grown up man, you should be full of wisdom, that we drink from.
But look, the land has gone pale. Our store house is dried up, even the grasses are not green.

How do I tell my friends that papa just hit 62?
When I have gray hairs on my head with sweats on my shoulders and wrinkles on my forehead?
My palms are peeled from toiling yet I have a father who is wealthy.

62 years of independence doesn't look good on you,
For Autocracy ripped apart your sacred promise of democracy,
You turned us into slaves in our own dear land
The sounds of your gun,
Have hid our voices and kept our mouths shut.
For the brave amongst us thread a dreaded part of courage and shatters of blood .
You have silenced us in the rage of your guts,
We feign unity, harmony and peace, when in our veins fury burn

You are selfish, you have been blinded and on this day we parade the streets cheering your new age.
With tied stomachs and weak bones, we have screamed for our voice to be heard!

We wake up at night to see if the sun is shining, days and nights make no difference.
We have turned strangers in our land.

Papa is 62
What would become of us now.

27/09/2022

Have you been to the club before? Seen a stripper? What comes into your mind about them.

I've heard a lot of critique about st*****rs but then there's this thing I admire about them. Not the way the showcase their body or dance skills, not even their pretty faces or the way the turn on their clients. I admire the fact that they could go up the stage without fear.

I don't think anybody has the right to judge them or their jobs. Basically if you're in the position to help them live a life that seem better in the eyes of the society, would you? But come to think of this. How sure that the better life you think is better? What makes you believe that the one deem perfect is actually perfect? Prolly not all st*****rs are who they are due to pressure, but some situations pushed them into it. What they were born to find themselves in has made them this way. Some just to make ends meet and are they those who had wished to be a stripper? Say a dream or a wish. Whichever way, these ones are fulfilled because this is who they are and the can't change it, they have to do this to help the condition they're in, they have to do this to avoid getting disappointed by begging or knocking on your door, they have to do this to see themselves through school while others have to do these for their poor family. Whichever way, I respect st*****rs, in some way, they're bold.

27/09/2022

There are so many things I wanted to achieve before I clocked 18 but then 18 came and went without
achieving them. I felt I couldn't do them again, and then I withdrew while 19 came knocking.

Bit by bit I started losing interest in my goals, burnt my lists of things I thought I could achieve and then decided to take life as it came.

But then I opened my door to nineteen and I felt a new spirit come into me, the pressure lessened and I could stand back on my feet.

Tried writing out my lists again but they turned out to be all different from the burnt pages, I didn't know why but then I decided to put more energy to the new list and guess what I started ticking them this time.

And while nineteen was closing up, I relented again, there was no motivation and I thought it was rest but no, it was something else! Something I couldn't decipher, I felt like everything I ticked were too big to be achieved and I was too young for them and while in this, twenty came.

As different as it is now. I know nothing can stop me from being who I want to be.

We are back! Serving you with everything, get ready!

03/08/2022

There's so much beauty in natural hair.💙😊

Like and follow me on Hair goddess

14/06/2022

I RAN AWAY FROM GOD

I ran away from God
For his love, I was told
Was that of the broken hedge around me.
Seems there was no news from him
Except that the enemies were coming for me,
More fear in place of John 3:16
In my heartaches,
Prophecies of more pain came.
Searching to understand him,
I found not the truth of Psalm 23 and 91
But the tales of terror by nights.
In search of peace and security,
Stories of devil's hand on Job was told.

I ran away from God
For that which he promised tarried,
I was sinking in doubts and sin,
Prayer of forgiveness had no words in them.
My personality was discriminated,
I found comfort in straying away.
People who cared not to know,
Judged me by their self righteousness

I ran away from God,
For his voice I ceased to hear,
His arms, he took away,
He got disappointed by who I became
I walked away thinking he left.

I ran away from God
Revelations doubted my faith,
I was cut down in his name
My tears made no sense,
Mercy didn't care

I ran away from God
His presence I dreaded to appear,
His songs were stones in my mouth,
I longed for him but he was nowhere to be found.

I ran away from God
But in my giving up, he showed himself
Said he's been calling me with every step I take
I was deaf and walked away.

I ran away from God
But he embraced me in my mares,
Said he's been with me all the way.

©Ella Peace

07/04/2021

Its okay to laugh even when you're bleeding,
Its okay to cry though no one is hearing,
Its okay to be lonely, even in the midst of people
Its okay to keep fighting, you know you're strong
Its only
when things don't go the way you planned
Its okay to give up and hang on.

When people don't feel what you feel,
Its okay to stop telling them
After all, we're running different races.

Its okay to go for things or leave it for the meantime
Its okay to see the future, dark or bright

Sometimes people we think should be a shoulder are the ones pushing us to the wall to fight our battles alone,To die for all they care or fight defeatedly,

Its okay when your day is ruined by people who don't understand you're now a vulnerable being, you're sinking into depression, you're battling with wars in your head, you're hanging on a thread, you know you're just living for one reason or no reason at all.

You know you can't keep on fighting alone, you're being weighed down by things you can't control, life has presented you with its side so unfortunate, just keep on fighting, fighting and losing
Just keep on breathing, keep on surviving, keep on battling alone, keep on waking up, keep on seeing a dark day, don't sleep on, be a survivor, just hold on to your doubt!

Its okay to walk on the sea with fear
To stretch out your hand while sinking even when you have no hope of a hand pulling you out,

Everything will be alright if you stay alive,
I know you aren't certain of tomorrow cos everyday is the same, you aren't sure if you have a future cos there's no difference between your past and present, its fine when everyone sees you as a hopeless being, let them keep on trampling on your emotions but don't let them see your tears, let them keep pushing you away.

Its okay to be silent but don't die,
Its okay if you can't talk about anything anymore, no doubt you're weighed down but its just okay!!!

Its just okay!!!

06/04/2021

There are times things won't go the way we want them to but we just have to be grateful they did, even when the fear of the future sweeps our mind making us unsure of our next step, we have to believe that wherever we lay our feet will be the right step to take and the sun won't burn our skin while we're out there trying to survive.
We learn and not regret, we move even with dark skies, we believe despite the clouds of doubt's hovering around our minds, we just have to be bold enough to face the giant even when our strength is wavering at his sight. Life is full of uncertainties but taking steps is crucial
Sometimes we need to be bold enough to risk our comfort

01/04/2021

She was a girl with a difference; A pearl so rare.

She never fought for things which weren't hers cos what's meant for her will always stay and fight to stay. In her quietness, she knew what she wanted: a faithful lover who would defend her and show her to the world even in her absence, a lover who would see her as the most beautiful gem ever, one who could be there when she needed, one who could choose her over others and stay true to his words, a happy family;one she could always run to, seek advise from, and be a wall of defense to her, who could guide her in her steps while she sail through her storms, real friends who would laugh with her, be a shoulder when she cries, be with her in her dark times, and never betray her but in all she found this attributes only in her, she couldn't get these from others, for at a point they failed her. She was a faithful lover, a happy family and true friend to others but they couldn't reciprocate, they let her go on the way; he found someone he thought better than her, he couldn't defend her nor show her to the world and in her absence, he betrayed her love:the one she gave her all into, she couldn't get a happy family, they let go of their promises, she lost her safe in them and then she got betrayed and laughed at by friends, they were thorns she leaned on and helped her bled the more. She couldn't rely anymore on people who came in the disguise of lover, family and friends.
She was determined to build her life with these attributes she had. She became a shoulder to herself, she became a defense to herself, she became so strong to fight alone, she became her lover, her family and her friend, no one toyed with her feelings nor was her emotions falling, she became so strong with her walls so high she decided to become successful and passionate about herself and put more efforts in the things that brought joy, that made her alive, the one thing that kept her going "The true love she had for herself "and until the right one came around, she was determined to be the true lover, a happy family and a true friend to herself, she was determined never to force herself to become who she wasn't and no one would taunt her, she found herself in her love and passion and got rid of the people who didn't value her. She was too priceless to be trampled upon or joked with, inasmuch as she hated mind games, she was never a player and players couldn't break her walls.

She became the best and continued to be the best, she decided to make the best of whatever she had, her passion driving her wheels, her love opening up her heart, her nature keeping her gaiety and she continued to be this way in her quietness. Never joked with, never to cry, never to be weak and until she got her look alike: a faithful lover, a happy family and real friends, she promised herself to keep going and becoming her she.

30/03/2021

Three times I've been stabbed by the same gender
Three times I've been betrayed by my gender
Learning my lessons is the best way to move on
And for the last time, I'll open up myself to receive these hurts.

I tried to be the best thing you could think of,
And behind me, you stabbed me before a beautiful face,
I know you have choices,
I pray she becomes your mirror, one you would behold with pride.

I told everyone its you,
The one in the picture
But you fooled me yet again
May you find what you really wants

Mind games!
Illusions!
Yea.. I knew it
I was prepared for this day
Hope she becomes the pearl you'll always value

I'm moving on,
Easiest thing I've ever done
I'll take my love away
And live like you never exist
Though I cherished what we had,
I'll throw it to the wind and wave goodbye

Tell your kids I love them
But they weren't meant to come from my womb
Tell your lover she's amazing
For I want to see her happy
Reason I take my leave

Tell the world we weren't meant to be
Tell them, I walked away
Tell them, I couldn't stay
For I bled from your illusion
Tell them whose fault it was
While I wave you goodbye

24/03/2021

I Fell for a stranger

Is love really blind?
Perhaps its myopic
For in the late night series
I fell for a stranger.

His words were so beautiful
With perfect lines and rhymes
His stanzas carried an euphoric tale
I fell for a stranger without a second thought.

When he held my hand
I felt the shocks run down my spines
I mistook it for love,
But twas shredding my fragile heart
Into a thousand pieces
And I fell for a stranger yet again.

Those sparkles in his eyes
Designed his lies,
The beauty of his smiles
Hid his deceitful swords,
I thought twas love
But a dream in my reality.

He stole my heart and walked away,
Feeding it to swine,
Left an empty space.

His lips is a dead trap,
His hands speaks of wounds
When he confesses illusion.

I was blinded by the butterflies in my stomach
Never knew, I'll be a believer of lies
His eyes were pure,
He was so good at playing a gentleman

Oh my poor pretty heart is taken away
Wish for an end.

I'll never run after a predator
No!
I rather love without a heart,
Kissing the empty space
Than lay under the sky again with him,
For I fell for a stranger,
Thinking it was love

He lied to me, same way he's been lying to get his preys
His deceitful words hidden in his affection
Speaks of confusion
To those who run after him.

He lays in ambush
Calling out to his meat;
He get you h***y,
And devour you in your fantasies

I fell so right, but he never held me
I fell, giving my all
Yet he walked away
With the contents I preserved.

The fragrance of a beautiful soul,
The aura of true love.

I'll fight thus hurt and walk away
Never to feel the empty room in my chest
I'll love bleeding
Paying deaf ears to the sound of this broken heart
I'll smile ;the way I've always been,
But never to trust a stranger
Anymore!!!

24/03/2021

To those who died without a goodbye
I understand;death's flight was urgent
You were the last passenger on the
Plane to the ghost world,
Guess you never wanted to wait
Till the next carriage comes by
You needed a smooth ride,
Reason you optioned for this.

I understand,
You wanted to enjoy your trip without traffics
You wanted swift last breath,
Not the one you gasped for air before giving up,
Reason you chose the night
When we were all asleep.

To you who never wanted to leave
But had to, it's okay!
To you who really wanted to leave
Hope you find what your heart is always yearning for.

Hope you don't get bedridden
Same way you were,
And you find the love you needed to succeed,
Hope you get a permit card to your happiness.
Hope you find the type of life
You've always wish,
And things don't have to be struggled for,
The way it was
Hope you learn to be happy forever
And never cry anymore for things
You couldn't control.

As the sunset over there ;
Hope you'll rest and sleep tight,
Even with much work to do
You'll dream like you never did
And no task master to whip you
Under the scorching sun.

Hope you'll learn to rest mid day
Under your favorite tree
While the birds sing melodies on your head

Hope you'll achieve your aspirations
And reach your goals
Hope you'll have a happy family,
One you couldn't have,

And lastly....

Hope you never die again

09/02/2021

I’ve tried to live my life the right way, fitting in the best way I knew how..
And it’s exhausting.
Everyone has an opinion about who I should be, what I should do or how I should act.
Truth is, why would I listen to anyone that doesn’t really know me?
They don’t know where I’ve been, the struggles I’ve survived or the scars that tell my story.
I’m done trying to march to the beat of the drums of people who don’t know me at all.
I don’t owe anyone anything except myself, and I’ve been forsaking my own needs for too long.
It’s time I started living for me and seeking the things that bring me happiness.
Forget the should do, need to be and can’t do this or that..
I can do anything I set my mind to and that’s just what I’m going to..
I’m flipping the script and charting a new direction.
I may not know where I’m going, but wherever it is, it will be what I choose..for me, because of me.
I’m done asking for permission or approval, because that’s done nothing but make me unhappy..
I deserve better than the life I’ve been living and I’m going to finally start chasing my dreams and desires the way I should a long time ago.
I’ll stumble and fail, but at least I’m doing it on my own terms.
No more regrets, apologies or wishes.
This is my story and I’m turning the page to a new chapter.
It may not always go as I planned, but at least I’m writing the way I choose.
My scars, broken parts and jagged edges make me the wonderful individual I am.
Anyone who truly loves me sees the worst and best of me and holds my hand through it all.
So, everyone can save their opinion about who I am and what I should be.
If you’re willing to accept me and love me just as I am, then take my hand and let’s go start living our best life.
Rain or shine, rise or fall, I’ll do it the way I should have all along.
My way.
Some stars were always meant to shine...
And that’s what I’ll always be.
My own kind of star.
|ravenwolf

06/02/2021

"When you are hurt too badly, it changes you. Your pain and your heartaches determine what you become. You meet people with a certain sadness and you wonder why you can't be the person you were before. You open your heart less, your laugh seems to disappear after three seconds. There's this constant heaviness in your heart that seems to push you down and no matter what you do, nothing elevates you. You talk about your childhood too much, you invest yourself in the things you loved before because you know that they are your safe places, they are the only times when you were really happy and not in a way you call yourself happy now, not pretending to be happy. You know that you have become stronger, but you know that you have also turned cold. You wonder if this is fragility instead of strength because strength gives you the power to open, the power to love without walls. And the truth is that yes, strength lies in all of that but it also lies in choosing yourself before others, being cautious of who has access to you lately. Self-love is pretty hard. Sometimes, it will even make you feel lonely. But that doesn't mean that you will feel this way for a lifetime. You heart will be warm again, and you will finally learn to laugh for at least ten seconds. You will love people again with walls, and you will only open to those who will truly deserve your attention. And that isn't bad, that is true strength. But it won't happen in a day. And it won't happen if you are trying too hard to become what you were before. Maybe, you are not healing because you are desperate to be the person you were before your misery, your trauma, your heartaches. No matter how much it hurts, the truth is that person does not exist anymore. There's a new you, a better you, trying to unravel its beauty and you are trying too hard to control it. Maybe, that's why you are still hurt. When you see a beautiful sky, you do not ask for it to soften the orange, or saturate the blue. You just watch it with marvel as it unfolds over your head. Your new self is the same. Do not try to adjust and turn it into something else. Instead, breathe life into this new person and let it become and grow.

Maybe then, you will finally know that healing isn't about overcoming the pain, it's about accepting and surviving it."

— Rae Pathak , healing.
Follow at Instagram.com/raepathak

One sentence insp by carl rogers

29/01/2021

I don’t need all the fancy stuff to know that you love to give me, not ever.
While those are very nice gestures given in the spirit of love, they don’t mean anything if there’s not the feelings that matter behind them.
I want more than average or ordinary love, I want to set my heart and soul on fire.
I want the kisses that seemingly last forever and make my toes curl.
I need the butterflies when you touch me and the sparkle when you look at me.
Give me all the things that many will never really feel because they’ve settled or never held out for the kind of things that change your life..
Passionate love, soulful desire, complete fulfillment- to name but a few.
I want to chase adventures with you by my side, going nowhere and talking about everything.
I crave those all night talks and hours spent curled up in your arms as we fall asleep together.
I yearn for the magic of the moments in a lifetime filled with love, when the future is limitless and our hearts almost explode with feelings.
But most importantly, I want to grow old with you, make the memories that we will never forget and always, always, always..
I want it all with you.
|ravenwolf

26/01/2021

Welcome to my story😭

His words hung heavily in the air as a solitary tear rolled down my cheek.
It was in that moment that he finally realized the pain I had long hidden behind my smile..
Now, he finally understood why I cried and tears welled in his eyes.
He saw how much it meant to me to finally be truly seen for the person that I have always been..and it moved him.
It wasn’t that I ever meant to hide my truths behind my walls ..
It was just safer than risking being hurt by all the things that caused such pain.
You don’t always choose the way you become, sometimes you don’t have any other options..
The story chooses you.. and in my case, I hid my secrets, my feelings and depths that I knew the world would never understand..
But I don’t really want to share my soul with just anyone..the beauty of my emotions and the parts of me that I keep for myself is not something just given..
It must be earned with love, patience and honesty.
I learned long ago that I’m not like everyone else and I’m good with that.
I don’t need to impress anyone or try to make the world like me.
I enjoy my close circle of friends and I’m careful with my heart.
So, as everyone just sees the beautiful smile that guards my emotions- the myriad of my feelings..the pain, the joy and the depth of my soul- I let them think what they will and believe what they want about me.
I’m happy with the person I am, the beauty I’ve found and the happiness I’ve created within myself.
Maybe my choice to be guarded isn’t always easy, but I own my successes and failures, each and every time.
I won’t trade my self respect, my pride or my uniqueness for anything or anyone.
After all, behind every strong woman is a broken little girl that learned how to get back up and never look back.
Welcome to my story.
It’s broken, it’s beautiful, but most of all, I write it the way that I choose..
My happily ever after will always start and end with me.
|ravenwolf

24/01/2021

Life become pleasant
When you make mistakes
Realize its a mistake
And never regret.

Happiness is found
When you realize you own your permit card
Live your dreams
And never be afraid to touch the sky of achievement

Climb the ladder of accomplishment
With your bag of potentials
The top is for those
Who risk their comfort zone
In search of light and betterment

24/01/2021

I'm truly one of a kind ❤

I’ve always been that person that shows the world exactly what it needs to see:
I’m happy, warm and genuine..to a point.
Everyone thinks they know me, but truthfully,
very few really do.
My true friends, the few that I trust with my secrets, are the ones that know me for the person that I truly am.
The rest of the world?
They see what I choose for them to see.
I’m the one who’s always inviting, complimentary and willing to chat, because that makes people feel good.
I have conversations every day and if you asked those same people something about me..they’d have no clue who I really am.
That’s the way I choose to live and guard my heart and soul.
Not everyone deserves the chance to really glimpse into the depths that make me unique and beautiful.
It’s not because I’m ashamed or hiding anything, but because I know my worth and I only want quality people in my life that truly get me.
I’m not always easy to understand- I don’t even know why I do some of the things I do sometimes, but I’m worth the effort.
I’m authentic, soulful and loving in a way that most never experience in their lifetimes.
I believe those are the precious parts of me that only those closest to my heart deserve to know.
I’m not saying I’m better than anyone, far from it..I’m just guarded and different.
I’m careful about who I let behind my walls, because I’ve been down the other road of heartache from letting people in that didn’t deserve it.
So, the ones that I love are the people that I cherish and know me for my truths, both good and bad.
Everyone thinks I’m an open book and that doesn’t bother me..they will think what they want to think anyways..
But I’ll always have those special few pages that are meant to be read by only a few loved people-the ones close to my heart.
I choose to live my life in my own way, without explanation or regret.
I may be guarded and challenging sometimes,
But I’m always worth it and I know it -
Deep, genuine and loving, I’m truly one of a kind.
|ravenwolf

23/01/2021

For how long are you gonna hid behind bars when you know you can do it??
For how long will you let opportunities bypass when they are at your reach,
Take a step

22/01/2021

"Don’t prioritise your looks my friend,
they won’t last the journey.
Your sense of humour though, will only get better.
Your intuition will grow and expand like a majestic cloak of wisdom.
Your ability to choose your battles, will be fine-tuned to perfection.
Your capacity for stillness, for living in the moment, will blossom.
And your desire to live each and every moment will transcend all other wants.
Your instinct for knowing what (and who) is worth your time, will grow and flourish like ivy on a castle wall.
Don’t prioritise your looks my friend,
they will change forevermore,
that pursuit is one of much sadness and disappointment.
Prioritise the uniqueness that make you you, and the invisible magnet that draws in other like-minded souls to dance in your orbit.
These are the things which will only get better."

Donna Ashworth

Image: Phillipe Vogelenzang

22/01/2021

Hi.
I know we’ve met, but you don’t really know me..well, not anymore.
You ran into me at a low point when I was far from my best, so don’t feel badly.
I don’t think I’d even recognize myself now from where I used to be.
Truthfully, when you met me, I had a choice to either let the troubles of my life weigh me down and or I could choose to embrace a future full of possibility.
Yep, you guessed it. I chose to grow.
I let go of all the baggage that wasn’t mine to carry and every step i took started to feel lighter.
The regret, the shame, the broken hearts- all the things that I’d be never able to change..I slowly began to let them all go.
Not because they weren’t important or because I was trying to forget them, but because harboring those feelings wasn’t serving any purpose..
I wasn’t better for holding on to those negative emotions of days long past.
I knew I would have to evolve and grow to find my happiness the way I deserved..
So I did.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s not easy and it probably won’t ever be smooth sailing,
But then, what worth having ever is?
I made up my mind, adjusted my sails and started to believe in myself in a way that I never had before.
That’s not to say I don’t still stumble and fall flat on my face, but I now turn every setback into a comeback.
I’ll always have days when I cry in the shower for no reason and I may lose my cool randomly because that’s just who I am, for better or worse.
I may be broken, but then, who isn’t in some way?
I chose not to dwell on where I’ve been but focus on who I’m becoming ..
So, hey, it’s really nice to re meet you.
Forget who you thought I was because I’m not that person anymore.
I’m wiser,
I’m stronger,
I’m better.
I’ll still be a bit of a mess and not have it all figured out, but I’m okay with that.
I know who I am and where I’m headed.
So, hi.
Welcome to the new me.
I think we will get along just fabulously..
Let’s go see how beautiful life can be, shall we?
|ravenwolf

20/01/2021

It’ll never be what she says that you should pay the closest attention to, but the things that stay in her mouth..the words that she does not say.
The love of a woman is a powerful and beautiful thing, but her silence can be truly deafening.
Hear what she says, soak in her voice and take heart of the things she shares,
But if you want to truly begin to understand the complexity and depth of a woman, start to pay close attention to all the things she doesn’t say.
Her eyes will speak countless words that her soul yearns to express, yet she never does.
Her quiet resolve and the strong facade that she maintains for the world to see protect her in ways that mere words never can.
The walls around her heart, the hidden beauty of her soul, the latent dreams and unspoken desires are all part of her mystery.
Cherish her, appreciate her and respect her, for she fights battles that you’ll never know or understand.
She’ll tuck it all behind few words..
“I’m okay”..”everything’s fine..”
Those are the painful whispers of an internal war that she wages so very often.
You’ll rarely see her tears, for she often cries in solitude- the shower, the car, in bed.
She doesn’t want the world to judge her or for others to worry, she just has those moments when her heart erupts tears of release, and she needs that momentary meltdown to keep going.
So, don’t ever mistake her silence for lack of concern, for it’s just the opposite.
She has a million things to tell you, but often just doesn’t even know where to start.
Be patient, be respectful and be compassionate.
And whatever you do, don’t push her over the edge too far, or she might never come back the same way you once knew..
Because when she has made her decision, there’s no more chances and no more starting over..
There’s just silence.
She has no more words, no more tears and nothing left for you, for your relationship..
She won’t talk any more about what’s happened or what you can do, because It won’t matter.
She’s done.
She’s silent because she has nothing left for you..
She’s walking away.
It’s that same silence that will tell you- if you know how to listen-
Everything you ever wanted to know about the real beauty and depth of a woman..
Just don’t wait too long and lose the wonderful opportunity to love her in all the ways she truly deserves..
Before it’s too late..
Because when it is,
All you’ll hear is her silence.
|ravenwolf