Somvic Concept Shows

22/03/2024

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22/03/2024

When you are dating a God fearing educated & civilized woman who has class & ambition you get texts such as these:-

6:00am.
Good Morning my dear. Hope you had a wonderful night. How are you today? Wake up say your prayers & get ready for work. Don't forget to apply for that vacancy I showed you yesterday. Love you!

12pm -
Yes darling. hope you have taken your lunch? I am heading out for lunch now. Talk later. Take care of yourself. Love you
-
6pm
Hello Prince ' I'm at Crunchies Fast food now what should I buy for you?
.......................................

But when you are dating any of this Slay Queen Bae whose asset is her looks as well as crazy with fashion' you get texts such as these:-
-
6am
Hello Boo! How far naa! Was Fun yesterday at d club. Hope u are not still having d hang over. Lol PLS remember to send me Credit. See u later.

12pm
I'm broke! Can u just help me out with some money if u can. I want to change my wardrobe. Muah!

6pm
Hi Boo' looks like u ve forgotten d shoes u promised me.

Anyways' I'm at d shop where they sell Human hair & Clothes. Just eyeing this beautiful make - up kit. U will like it! Muah!
......................................................

But when u don't date at all u get texts like:-

Airtel:-
Enjoy 6 times the value of every recharge on the Airtel network when you recharge with * 555*PIN #.

MTN:-
Dear customer do you know that you can confirm your BVN from your phone? Simply dial * 565*0 # this service costs N20!!!😃 😃

Your number is among the people selected to win 20million naira.... Call Mr SOLOMON on 08036161....... to claim your prize.....

😃😃😃

23/07/2023

My Gee, don elevate to another stage ooo, watch this 👇

28/08/2022

Mosquitoe now prefer my phone to my skinny body, now I don slap sense comot from my phone 📱 😭😭.

20/08/2022

Not all couples enjoy their wedding night
Some argue till day break on how a cooler of jollof rice disappear at the reception😏..

13/08/2022

My brother, more Grace... E shook meoo

11/08/2022

This region is called "the bolokus"... 😂 😂 😂... This is the best way of teaching biology practical in our secondary education...

07/08/2022

CHILDREN OF TODAY DON'T EVEN KNOW THAT IN OUR DAYS YOU COULD BE BEATEN FOR ANY OF THE FOLLOWING REASONS:

1. Crying too long after being beaten
2. Not crying after being beaten
3. Crying without being beaten
4. Standing where elders are sitting
5. Sitting while elders are standing
6. Walking around aimlessly where elders are seated
7. Eating food prepared for visitors
8. Refusing to eat
9. Coming back home after sunset
10. Eating at the neighbour's home
11. Generally being too moody
12. Generally being too excited
13. Losing a fight with older age mate
14. Winning a fight with your age mate
15. Eating too slowly
16. Eating too quickly
17. Eating too much
18. Not finishing your food
19. Finishing your food and scraping your plate
20. Eating and talking
21. Sleeping while the elders in the house have already woken up
22. Looking at the visitors while they are eating
23. Stumbling and falling when walking
24. Looking at an elder eye ball to eye ball
25. When an elder is talking to you and you blink
26. When an elder is talking to you and you stare and not blink
27. When you look at an elder through the corner of your eye
28. When your mates are playing street football and you join them
29. When your mates are playing and you don’t join them
30. When you don't wash your dish after eating
31. When you wash your dish improperly
32. When you almost break your dish
33. When you break your dish
34. When you bite your nails.
34.. When you don't bath.
35. When you bath too quickly
36. When you take too long to bath.
37. When you’re beaten in school for misbehaving
38. When a car almost knocks you down
39. When a car knocks you down and you don’t die.
40. For not answering when spoken to
41. For answering back when spoken to.
42 Beaten for going to Church or Mosque late.
43. Beaten for borrowing shoe/wears from friends.
44. Giving salt or needle to neighbors without their permission.

And Some of the children that passed through this trainings behave responsible..

05/08/2022

Good to go...

Friday 5 August
20:00 Crystal Palace v Arsenal

Saturday 6 August
12:30 Fulham v Liverpool
AFC Bournemouth v Aston Villa
Leeds v Wolves
Leicester v Brentford
Newcastle v Nottingham Forest
Spurs v Southampton
17:30 Everton v Chelsea

Sunday 7 August
14:00 Man Utd v Brighton
16:30 West Ham v Man City

Saturday 13 August
Arsenal v Leicester
Aston Villa v Everton
Brentford v Man Utd
Brighton v Newcastle
Chelsea v Spurs
Liverpool v Crystal Palace
Man City v AFC Bournemouth
Nottingham Forest v West Ham
Southampton v Leeds
Wolves v Fulham

Saturday 20 August
AFC Bournemouth v Arsenal
Crystal Palace v Aston Villa
Everton v Nottingham Forest
Fulham v Brentford
Leeds v Chelsea
Leicester v Southampton
Man Utd v Liverpool
Newcastle v Man City
Spurs v Wolves
West Ham v Brighton

Saturday 27 August
Arsenal v Fulham
Aston Villa v West Ham
Brentford v Everton
Brighton v Leeds
Chelsea v Leicester
Liverpool v AFC Bournemouth
Man City v Crystal Palace
Nottingham Forest v Spurs
Southampton v Man Utd
Wolves v Newcastle

Tuesday 30 August
19:45 AFC Bournemouth v Wolves
19:45 Arsenal v Aston Villa
19:45 Fulham v Brighton
19:45 Leeds v Everton
19:45 Leicester v Man Utd
19:45 West Ham v Spurs
20:00 Crystal Palace v Brentford

Wednesday 31 August
19:45 Southampton v Chelsea
20:00 Liverpool v Newcastle
20:00 Man City v Nottingham Forest

Saturday 3 September
Aston Villa v Man City
Brentford v Leeds
Brighton v Leicester
Chelsea v West Ham
Everton v Liverpool
Man Utd v Arsenal
Newcastle v Crystal Palace
Nottingham Forest v AFC Bournemouth
Spurs v Fulham
Wolves v Southampton

See: Key dates for 2022/23 UEFA and cup competitions

Saturday 10 September
AFC Bournemouth v Brighton
Arsenal v Everton
Crystal Palace v Man Utd
Fulham v Chelsea
Leeds v Nottingham Forest
Leicester v Aston Villa
Liverpool v Wolves
Man City v Spurs
Southampton v Brentford
West Ham v Newcastle

Saturday 17 September
Aston Villa v Southampton
Brentford v Arsenal
Brighton v Crystal Palace
Chelsea v Liverpool
Everton v West Ham
Man Utd v Leeds
Newcastle v AFC Bournemouth
Nottingham Forest v Fulham
Spurs v Leicester
Wolves v Man City

Saturday 1 October
AFC Bournemouth v Brentford
Arsenal v Spurs
Crystal Palace v Chelsea
Fulham v Newcastle
Leeds v Aston Villa
Leicester v Nottingham Forest
Liverpool v Brighton
Man City v Man Utd
Southampton v Everton
West Ham v Wolves

Saturday 8 October
AFC Bournemouth v Leicester
Arsenal v Liverpool
Brighton v Spurs
Chelsea v Wolves
Crystal Palace v Leeds
Everton v Man Utd
Man City v Southampton
Newcastle v Brentford
Nottingham Forest v Aston Villa
West Ham v Fulham

Saturday 15 October
Aston Villa v Chelsea
Brentford v Brighton
Fulham v AFC Bournemouth
Leeds v Arsenal
Leicester v Crystal Palace
Liverpool v Man City
Man Utd v Newcastle
Southampton v West Ham
Spurs v Everton
Wolves v Nottingham Forest

Tuesday 18 October
19:45 AFC Bournemouth v Southampton
19:45 Arsenal v Man City
19:45 Brentford v Chelsea
19:45 Brighton v Nottingham Forest
19:45 Fulham v Aston Villa
19:45 Leicester v Leeds
20:00 Crystal Palace v Wolves

Wednesday 19 October
19:45 Newcastle v Everton
20:00 Liverpool v West Ham
20:00 Man Utd v Spurs

Saturday 22 October
Aston Villa v Brentford
Chelsea v Man Utd
Everton v Crystal Palace
Leeds v Fulham
Man City v Brighton
Nottingham Forest v Liverpool
Southampton v Arsenal
Spurs v Newcastle
West Ham v AFC Bournemouth
Wolves v Leicester

Saturday 29 October
AFC Bournemouth v Spurs
Arsenal v Nottingham Forest
Brentford v Wolves
Brighton v Chelsea
Crystal Palace v Southampton
Fulham v Everton
Leicester v Man City
Liverpool v Leeds
Man Utd v West Ham
Newcastle v Aston Villa

Saturday 5 November
Aston Villa v Man Utd
Chelsea v Arsenal
Everton v Leicester
Leeds v AFC Bournemouth
Man City v Fulham
Nottingham Forest v Brentford
Southampton v Newcastle
Spurs v Liverpool
West Ham v Crystal Palace
Wolves v Brighton

Saturday 12 November
AFC Bournemouth v Everton
Brighton v Aston Villa
Fulham v Man Utd
Liverpool v Southampton
Man City v Brentford
Newcastle v Chelsea
Nottingham Forest v Crystal Palace
Spurs v Leeds
West Ham v Leicester
Wolves v Arsenal

Monday 26 December
Arsenal v West Ham
Aston Villa v Liverpool
Brentford v Spurs
Chelsea v AFC Bournemouth
Crystal Palace v Fulham
Everton v Wolves
Leeds v Man City
Leicester v Newcastle
Man Utd v Nottingham Forest
Southampton v Brighton

Saturday 31 December
AFC Bournemouth v Crystal Palace
Brighton v Arsenal
Fulham v Southampton
Liverpool v Leicester
Man City v Everton
Newcastle v Leeds
Nottingham Forest v Chelsea
Spurs v Aston Villa
West Ham v Brentford
Wolves v Man Utd

Monday 2 January
Arsenal v Newcastle
Aston Villa v Wolves
Brentford v Liverpool
Chelsea v Man City
Crystal Palace v Spurs
Everton v Brighton
Leeds v West Ham
Leicester v Fulham
Man Utd v AFC Bournemouth
Southampton v Nottingham Forest

Saturday 14 January
Aston Villa v Leeds
Brentford v AFC Bournemouth
Brighton v Liverpool
Chelsea v Crystal Palace
Everton v Southampton
Man Utd v Man City
Newcastle v Fulham
Nottingham Forest v Leicester
Spurs v Arsenal
Wolves v West Ham

Saturday 21 January
AFC Bournemouth v Nottingham Forest
Arsenal v Man Utd
Crystal Palace v Newcastle
Fulham v Spurs
Leeds v Brentford
Leicester v Brighton
Liverpool v Chelsea
Man City v Wolves
Southampton v Aston Villa
West Ham v Everton

Saturday 4 February
Aston Villa v Leicester
Brentford v Southampton
Brighton v AFC Bournemouth
Chelsea v Fulham
Everton v Arsenal
Man Utd v Crystal Palace
Newcastle v West Ham
Nottingham Forest v Leeds
Spurs v Man City
Wolves v Liverpool

Saturday 11 February
AFC Bournemouth v Newcastle
Arsenal v Brentford
Crystal Palace v Brighton
Fulham v Nottingham Forest
Leeds v Man Utd
Leicester v Spurs
Liverpool v Everton
Man City v Aston Villa
Southampton v Wolves
West Ham v Chelsea

Saturday 18 February
Aston Villa v Arsenal
Brentford v Crystal Palace
Brighton v Fulham
Chelsea v Southampton
Everton v Leeds
Man Utd v Leicester
Newcastle v Liverpool
Nottingham Forest v Man City
Spurs v West Ham
Wolves v AFC Bournemouth

Saturday 25 February
AFC Bournemouth v Man City
Crystal Palace v Liverpool
Everton v Aston Villa
Fulham v Wolves
Leeds v Southampton
Leicester v Arsenal
Man Utd v Brentford
Newcastle v Brighton
Spurs v Chelsea
West Ham v Nottingham Forest

Saturday 4 March
Arsenal v AFC Bournemouth
Aston Villa v Crystal Palace
Brentford v Fulham
Brighton v West Ham
Chelsea v Leeds
Liverpool v Man Utd
Man City v Newcastle
Nottingham Forest v Everton
Southampton v Leicester
Wolves v Spurs

Saturday 11 March
AFC Bournemouth v Liverpool
Crystal Palace v Man City
Everton v Brentford
Fulham v Arsenal
Leeds v Brighton
Leicester v Chelsea
Man Utd v Southampton
Newcastle v Wolves
Spurs v Nottingham Forest
West Ham v Aston Villa

Saturday 18 March
Arsenal v Crystal Palace
Aston Villa v AFC Bournemouth
Brentford v Leicester
Brighton v Man Utd
Chelsea v Everton
Liverpool v Fulham
Man City v West Ham
Nottingham Forest v Newcastle
Southampton v Spurs
Wolves v Leeds

Saturday 1 April
AFC Bournemouth v Fulham
Arsenal v Leeds
Brighton v Brentford
Chelsea v Aston Villa
Crystal Palace v Leicester
Everton v Spurs
Man City v Liverpool
Newcastle v Man Utd
Nottingham Forest v Wolves
West Ham v Southampton

Saturday 8 April
Aston Villa v Nottingham Forest
Brentford v Newcastle
Fulham v West Ham
Leeds v Crystal Palace
Leicester v AFC Bournemouth
Liverpool v Arsenal
Man Utd v Everton
Southampton v Man City
Spurs v Brighton
Wolves v Chelsea

Saturday 15 April
Aston Villa v Newcastle
Chelsea v Brighton
Everton v Fulham
Leeds v Liverpool
Man City v Leicester
Nottingham Forest v Man Utd
Southampton v Crystal Palace
Spurs v AFC Bournemouth
West Ham v Arsenal
Wolves v Brentford

Saturday 22 April
AFC Bournemouth v West Ham
Arsenal v Southampton
Brentford v Aston Villa
Brighton v Man City
Crystal Palace v Everton
Fulham v Leeds
Leicester v Wolves
Liverpool v Nottingham Forest
Man Utd v Chelsea
Newcastle v Spurs

Tuesday 25 April
19:45 Everton v Newcastle
19:45 Leeds v Leicester
19:45 Nottingham Forest v Brighton
19:45 Spurs v Man Utd
19:45 West Ham v Liverpool
19:45 Wolves v Crystal Palace
20:00 Aston Villa v Fulham

Wednesday 26 April
19:45 Chelsea v Brentford
19:45 Southampton v AFC Bournemouth
20:00 Man City v Arsenal

Saturday 29 April
AFC Bournemouth v Leeds
Arsenal v Chelsea
Brentford v Nottingham Forest
Brighton v Wolves
Crystal Palace v West Ham
Fulham v Man City
Leicester v Everton
Liverpool v Spurs
Man Utd v Aston Villa
Newcastle v Southampton

Saturday 6 May
AFC Bournemouth v Chelsea
Brighton v Everton
Fulham v Leicester
Liverpool v Brentford
Man City v Leeds
Newcastle v Arsenal
Nottingham Forest v Southampton
Spurs v Crystal Palace
West Ham v Man Utd
Wolves v Aston Villa

Saturday 13 May
Arsenal v Brighton
Aston Villa v Spurs
Brentford v West Ham
Chelsea v Nottingham Forest
Crystal Palace v AFC Bournemouth
Everton v Man City
Leeds v Newcastle
Leicester v Liverpool
Man Utd v Wolves
Southampton v Fulham

Saturday 20 May
AFC Bournemouth v Man Utd
Brighton v Southampton
Fulham v Crystal Palace
Liverpool v Aston Villa
Man City v Chelsea
Newcastle v Leicester
Nottingham Forest v Arsenal
Spurs v Brentford
West Ham v Leeds
Wolves v Everton

Sunday 28 May
16:00 Arsenal v Wolves
16:00 Aston Villa v Brighton
16:00 Brentford v Man City
16:00 Chelsea v Newcastle
16:00 Crystal Palace v Nottingham Forest
16:00 Everton v AFC Bournemouth
16:00 Leeds v Spurs
16:00 Leicester v West Ham
16:00 Man Utd v Fulham
16:00 Southampton v Liverpool

🥅

31/07/2022

OMG! Na this weather makes Adam no ask God "who is this beautiful creature", when he saw Eve in the garden... Rather he rushed and appraised her "this is my bone".... The weather was so intensified on him, such that his bedspread was so cold, his pillowcase was so cold, the floor of his room was also very cold, the wall of his house was very cold and everything around him was so cold. And our heavenly father (God) noticed the coldness of his son (Adam), and he called his Angels, and asked them "Is it good for a man to be alone?" and the angels answered and said "No my lord"... And Our heavenly father (God), because of the love he have for us (Man), he created another wonderful heater creature from a man, who was to be called "HEATER BOND". But Oga Adam was not that romantic enough and he mistakenly called her "WOMAN". that's why they behave like that (Moneybags) .. 😂 😂 😂!!! Abgi make una leave me alone, cold don enter my brain... Please where's my heater bond oooo🙆‍♂️🙆‍♂️🙆‍♂️ cold don kill your man o.. 😂 😂 😂

29/07/2022

Can Nigeria come back to normal again? Where #20 can buy tangible things in the market. 😢😕😭🇳🇬

24/07/2022

BREAKING NEWS!!!!

PETER OBI steps down

Reports reaching the entire Nigerian nation that the labour party presidential candidate (Peter Obi) steps down.

The reasons of him stepping down is still unknown but rumours has it that he stepped down from his car to buy 100 naira MTN recharge card and some roasted corn tower, Umuahia 🌽😅😜😜😜

With Mr Peter Obi, our economy shall be intact as no stone shall be left unturned..

God bless

Always Obidient..
Good morning.

13/07/2022

Now I want to teach you something..
When you ask someone "How are you doing" and he/She reply...
1). I'm fine.. (this person is not happy with you)
2). I'm fine, and you? (this person is extremely happy and caring for you)
3). I thank God o. (this person is not balance but passing through things)..
4). I thank God o, and you?. (this person is not balance and passing through things, but cares for you)..
5). Fine (this person is extremely angry 😡)..
Remember your teacher will not teach you this 👆..

05/07/2022

PUBLIC ANNOUNCEMENT

Many of us today are fond of putting password/patterns on our phone which makes it difficult for someone to access it in the case of unfortunate situations like phone loss, sickness, accident or even death. But with this little knowledge I am going to share, perhaps we can save ourselves and the lives of others also.

STEP 1

When your phone is locked, it normally shows enter password. Under it, you will see emergency. Click on the emergency, then you will see emergency information. Click on the emergency information (2 times) You will see a pencil icon on your extreme right, click on it to edit.

STEP 2

Then enter the contacts you want to save as emergency. You can put as many contacts as possible but I advise you to save numbers of active people who know you very well (Family/friend).

Now these contacts you have saved can be called even when your phone is locked without entering your password.

NOTE:

To call a number under emergency, click on 'Emergency Call' and the numbers saved there will come up. You can call these numbers without unlocking the phone

A soul can be saved through this

FEEL FREE TO SHARE

You never know, your single share can save somebody's life...

Thank you.

03/07/2022

We plenty wey no get money, so abgi no kill yourself ooo👈🍾

29/06/2022

Dear Youths..
Can you sit down and think about your 8 years ago experience with our ancestor's government or leadership...? I believe with you that it wasn't funny. Now listen to me very carefully, if because of our longer throat and love of money will then sell out our vote to our ancestors again, what will now be the faith of those that lost their lives during the End SARS protest. Remember if we fail the victims (the END SARS victims) for this coming election, nature will not forgive the youths.
What will now be your benefit after the protest of End Sars and bad government. I just want you think 🤔 . Don't sell your vote because of 10k,20k,50k, etc.👈
Message for the youths.

23/06/2022

This was how we were enjoying life with those species dem (women), but now Yahoo Boys don open their eyes with money, there by making life so miserable and difficult for us(average men). 😂😂😂!!! In fact life was so sweet before the arrival of Yahoo Boys...

23/06/2022

Hahahaha 😂 😂 😂

“Ned Nwoko needs another young girl to marry”Wike fires Ned for attacking him

“One man who has been busy marrying all the young girls in Nigeria came out and was talking nonsense about me in BBC news interview that Atiku dumped me because i am a trouble maker.

“Ned Nwoko should tell Nigerians what he has achieved ever since he joined politics other than jumping from one little girl to another. A Pe*****le coming to talk to me a sitting Governor, he should hide his face in shame.

“I joined PDP before him, he has no political structure in PDP. I have higher stake in PDP than him. If he’s man enough let him contest for PDP Presidential primary election and watch if he will get one single vote.

“This is a man after drinking Ogogoro mixed with burukutu, he will go in search of little girls to defile. His only achievements since he joined politics is marrying different kinds of women and this is the type of person PDP Delta State gave the mandate to contest for Senatorial position in the forthcoming election. Is that how Nigeria is going to change for better.

“Ned Nwoko should face the pyramid of wives he gathered in his house and leave Wike alone. It’s obvious he no longer think straight like a normal human being. Tell me, how can one man marry over 6 wives and still have his brain intact.”

Me:😂😂😂😂😂😂

~ Nyesom Wike.

10/06/2022

What are you ashamed of, when urinating in an open environment.. Mine is "the urine color and not the size of my bolokus" 🤣😂

12/05/2022

*ANSWER THIS ONE?:*

Money has different names !!!

In church its called (offering),

in school its (fee),

in marriage it's called (dowry),

in divorce (alimony),

when u owe someone its (debt ),

when u pay the government (tax),

in court (fines),

civil servant retirees (pension)

boss to workers (salary),

master to subordinates (wages),

when u borrow from bank (loan),

when u offer after a service (tip),

to kidnappers (ransom),

illegally received in d name of service (bribe).

The question is

"when a man gives it to his wife what do we call it??

Answer __________??

Plz send ur answers. ...

and also post it on your other groups and receive funny answers..😀

08/05/2022

21/04/2022

Just imagine someone, finish having his/her delicious meal, probably fried rice with chicken and some beverages like soft juice... Then conclude it with this 👇👇👇. Especially those 24 in number malaria drugs 😂😂😂.. But those pharmacy people no get Joy... They will advise you to take 4 tablets from the malaria drug, 2 tablets from typhoid drugs, then another 2 tablets of paracetamol... Guy that's 8 tablets at once, you are using to conclude the delicious you ate 😂 😂 😂..

25/03/2022

Buhari's regime reached everywhere including spirit world... Because we no dey see food chop again for dream, only thing we do there... Is to swim and f**k woman 😂😂😂😂😂

11/03/2022

Whenever I heard people saying "it is not good for a woman to propose to a man" my friend, I see that statement as fallacious statement.... Women have come to realize that, the population of men in a society is lower than theirs. From the last check, women are more than 8.5 million female gender, while men are just 4 million people in population. Now for men, out of the 4million men in population...
1 million are Rev. Fathers..
1 million are mad men in the streets
1 million are in prison
The remaining 1 million are still divided into two different types....
500,000 men are Unserious and
500,000 men are serious.... And out of the 500,000 men who are serious still divided into two parts...
200,000 men are decency in nature while
300,000 men are indecency in nature..
So tell me my people... How can 200,000 men marry 8.4 million women....? So dear men, if you fall under this 200,000 men... Guy your value will be like that of Oil companies. So bro. Live a decent life. 👈..

24/02/2022

When you don't have money, you will be saying... Natural beauty is the best. Poverty is disease 😂😂.

18/02/2022

Since girls of nowadays chooses sugar daddy over young men, Guy what's our faith by 2025😞😡?

01/01/2022

Happy new year to all... May God Almighty grant us the grace and strength to see the end of this year...

11/02/2021

Somvic: Good morning Sir 👋!
Mazi: Morning my brother 👍! How are you?
Somvic: Fine Sir!
Mazi: What do you want to buy....?
Somvic: Oga, I want to buy Girlfriend..
Mazi: how much own.....?
Somvic: how do you sell..... 🤷‍♂️?
Mazi: i have the one of 2.7M, 1M, 500k and 350k...so which one do you want..?
Somvic: Nawaooooo! Oga is costly 🤷‍♂️!! You don't have cheaper ones them like #75..?
Mazi : I have them my brother even #30 own....
Somvic: let me see them.... 🤷‍♂️
Mazi: see it... Deaf and dumb - #70, imbecile- #45, prostitute- #25, lacking manners just #20....
Somvic: Oga, they're still costly.. You don't have the cheapest one...?
Mazi: ok... I have MAD girl...
Somvic: how much is she....?
Mazi: just #5.18kobo.
Somvic: give me receipt..
Mazi: 🤹‍♂️..
Somvic: Good to do business with you Sir 🤝!
😂😂😂😂😂!! Am back again to my page... Just make yourself comfortable with my funny jokes.