Home on the solid rock with Modupe Timothy

23/04/2023

SPICE UP YOUR MARRIAGE

UNDERSTANDING GENDER DIFFERENCES IN MARRIAGE AND HELPING EACH OTHER WITH OUR DIFFERENCES

(HMCG #5) Most women feel that they have no priority in their husbands life because of HIS DISPOSITION TO THEIR PERSONAL NEEDS
sometime she wonders why is he totally oblivious of this fact, and never talks about it. she also wonders if he is pretending not to see or he is deliberately doing it.
Sometimes she'll say "I can't believe he doesn't know what my needs are...... And the men will often say" Do they think we can read minds?," we are no mind readers.... This simply mean you need to communicate. Tell him what you need and DO NOT ASSUME HE KNOWS.
Do not take offence if he doesn't talk about your needs either, this might not be an intentional act to hurt you or that you're not a priority. in his life, And as we have mentioned earlier in (HMCG #2) that men operate in boxes i.e their brain is wired to deal with one issue at a time. A good understanding of this concept is vital to our dealings with one another as married couples

TO AVOID CONFLICT IN THIS TYPE OF SITUATIONS
As a man, If you sense a mood issue, or perceive that your wife is upset for reasons you can't explain, this might just be it!
An incredible gift you can give to her is:
1.to simply ask what might be bothering her and also allow her to speak. Give few moment of your time to brainstorm together ,ask, what you can do to help solve the problem This will go along way to ease her stress
2.Be gentle with your words and Reassuring in your Response.
With your arms wrapped around her say to her "it'll be okay" and even if you're afraid or not even sure yourself that everything will be fine, be rest assured that God got you
3.Go to the Lord in prayer and ask for His help. Hand over the burden of your family needs to Him.
4. Make a conscious effort to give close attention to her personal needs and once in a while talk about them. Then within your ability, do what you can to make her happy
5. Finally, Be open and transparent with your wife in the aspect of finance.

Sometimes minute issues such as this could escalate to a major conflict in marriages this could make a wife question her husband's love for her and cultivate the ground for resentment, bitterness, and unnecessary quarrels which could easily be avoided.

14/04/2023

SPICE UP YOUR MARRIAGE

UNDERSTANDS GENDER DIFFERENCES IN MARRIAGE
AND HELPING EACH OTHER WITH OUR DIFFERENCES AS MARRIED COUPLE
(HMCD #4)

HUSBAND, why do you feel she talks too much?
Research has shown that A woman's brain has been developed to express and verbalize. The more reason she wants to talk about everything, she wants to express her feelings at all cost

IN TIMES OF CONFLICT

1) Understand at that moment that she is operating in her natural realm.

2)Ask for the grace to maintain your cool and LISTEN as she expresses her feelings, without cutting her off talking her down, or getting irritated

your wife will feel better just getting it all out because SHE NEEDS TO TALK.

3)understand that she is an emotional being and at that moment she has lots of emotions running through her that she can not control.
If you listen calmly, she will release her emotions and reconnect with you sooner than you think

She will respect and appropriate you more and will do everything she could to avoid anything that could upset you or bring conflict

Finally we enjoy Blissful i marriage when we understand the uniqueness each gender brings to the relationship.

08/04/2023

SPICE UP YOUR MARRIAGE

HELPFUL MARRIAGE CONNECTION GUIDELINES (HMCG)

HMCG #3 UNDERSTANDING GENDER DIFFERENCES IN MARRIAGE

HELPING EACH OTHER WITH OUR DIFFERENCES AS MARRIED COUPLE
(HMCD 't )

WIVES:
Be sensitive to the box your husband is operating in at a particular time.
Be willing to compromise a little bit, and if you're upset already calm down and in your imagination, respectfully enter the room he is in, sit down next to him use your magical charm as a woman to gently bring him into the box were you need his attention this way he'll know, you're asking come into my box, come into my box, he can now switch from the box he is to the box were you want him to be at that moment then you'll gain his attention and have your needs met.

2. identify the box he is in by what he talks about or the question he asks at a particular time. seize the opportunity to bring up relevant issues to the topic of the discussion you have been waiting to discuss with him this way you're helping him by making issues less cumbersome for him to process. By applying this simple wisdom, there will be fewer arguments and misunderstandings in your marriage

04/04/2023

SPICE UP YOUR MARRIAGE

HMCG #3. .UNDERSTANDING MALE/FEMALE DIFFERENCES IN MARRIAGE

WIVES: Have you ever wondered why your husband forgets your birthday wedding anniversary, looses sight of some aspect of your life while focusing on a specific task? for example, his job?
Do you also wonder why he gets easily irritated, frustrated and touchy when you bring up multiple issues with him at the same time? well the answer is not far fetched.
Studies have shown that a.man's brain process one task at a time. it is generally said that men operate in boxes.simply put they operate on one side of the brain at a time. therefore. in other to perform another task they have to switch over to the other hemisphere of the brain. As a result of this most women in marriage relationship have the impression that their husband do not give them enough attention and they feel neglected

IT IS IMPORTANT TO KNOW THAT IT IS NOT A DELIBERATE ACT ON HIS PART TO HURT YOU HE IS NATURALLY WIRED THAT WAY
Few more examples:
Are you a newly wedded couple and you're worried about the sudden decrease in the quality of time he spends with you and the attention you get from him while he was courting you or how special he makes you feel back then. Well am glad to tell you that that hasn't change a bit. he only moved on from the box he was at that time having completed the task of getting married to you to the next task of establishing a home with you and that is to work and provide you with what will make you comfortable. so rather than nagging empathize and appreciate him

2. As a wife, have you ever ask him for something you needed and he never talked about it? you probably can't tell
he might have forgotten, Do not take offense, find an appropriate time to remind him.

Finally understanding our gender differences. how we are naturally programmed by God will go a long way to enhance peace, love, and stability in marriage relationships.

31/03/2023

SPICE UP YOUR MARRIAGE

HMCG #2

WIFE:
MAKE HIM FEEL NEEDED
Men are motivated when they feel needed. A man's brain is geared to solve problems. your husband wants to be your Superman solve all of your problems make every decision for you and be your hero. It is not a deliberate decision to infringe on your right, that is his reality

HUSBAND: LISTEN TO HER
Rather than trying to fix your wife's problem make a CONSCIOUS effort to PATIENTLY LISTEN AND UNDERSTAND WHAT SHE WANTS She may not want you to fix a problem she may JUST want you to LISTEN and understand how she feels.

26/03/2023

SPICE UP YOUR MARRIAGE

HELPFUL MARRIAGE CONNECTION GUIDELINES

HMCG #1. COMPLIMENT / APPRECIATION

A man's deepest fear is that he is not good enough or not competent enough, though he may never express it.

Food fills a man's stomach, but a compliment from the woman he loves fills his soul with confidence. Prof. Kristine Koetje-Balder

13/09/2022

Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. -Ephesians 4:2

09/04/2022

ESSENTIAL INGREDIENT IN GOD'S DELICACY "THE WOMAN "( part 2)
A Woman is a helper to God.
He need her help to raise godly offspring a generation of those who will love, fear and serve God wholeheartedly . As a woman or a mother you are the First Destiny Helper of your children when you connect them to God and help them build a cordial relationship with Him.

16/03/2022

Who is this creature called woman
What is the mystery surrounding her creation that made her a controversial being. How did God mould a single rib He took from Adam into a whole human being....

28/11/2021

SPICE UP YOUR MARRIAGE

SHOW APPRECIATION:

You will be amazed at how the magic word “THANK YOU.” can change end turn things around in your marriage Show your HUSBAND that you appreciate what he does on a daily basis. Show him that you are grateful that he works hard to provide for your family. Let him know that you are proud of him for everything he does.

28/11/2021

Does your wife in her opinion feel you are controlling and disrespectful of her? Is this a major cause of disagreement in your marriage ?Well,

To make sure she does NOT feel that way any more CONCENTRATE AND BE SENSITIVE TO HER FEELINGS about what you SAY and DO. BE careful with your choice of WORDS

TREAT her as your EQUAL and make her FEEL that way.

22/11/2021

THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT’S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND. NO MAN IS PERFECT. MAKE YOUR MARRIAGE WORK

11/11/2021

TRANSFORM your MARRIAGE through the power of PRAYER.
Talk LESS with MAN Talk MORE with GOD.

29/08/2021

https://fb.watch/7HOdKrP-tU/

22/08/2021

SECURE YOUR MARRIAGE BY MAKING THE HOLY SPIRIT YOUR BEST FRIEND AND COUNCELLLOR !

21/08/2021

GUIDELINE TO DEAL WITH DIFFICULT SPOUSES
(Treat them as you would like to be treated.)

Luke.6.27-31
"But if you are willing to listen, I say, LOVE your enemies. DO GOOD to those who hate you. PRAY for the happiness of those who curse you. PRAY for those who HURT YOU. If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn the other cheek. If someone demands your coat, offer your shirt also. GIVE what you have to anyone who asks you for it; and when things are taken away from you, don't try to get them back.
DO FOR OTHERS AS YOU WOULD LIKE THEM TO DO FOR YOU. (NLT)

20/08/2021

The Power of love and Appreciation in marriage

20/08/2021

Your Marriage Is Unique

20/08/2021

10/08/2021

TIPS FOR HEALTHY MARRIAGE RELATIONSHIP

*Make your wife HAPPY in marriage and you will never be STRANDED IN LIFE.

Col.3.19 Husbands, love your wives [be affectionate and sympathetic with them] and do not be harsh or bitter or resentful toward them. (AMP)

1Pet.3.7c........If you don't treat her as you should, your prayers will not be heard. (NLT)

10/08/2021

MAKE YOUR WOMAN (WIFE ) HAPPY IN MARRIAGE AND YOU WILL NEVER BE STRANDED IN LIFE !!!

Col.3.19 Husbands, love your wives be affectionate and sympathetic with them] and do not be harsh or bitter or resentful toward them. (AMP)

1Pet.3.7c......... If you don't treat her as you should, your prayers will not be heard. (NLT)

09/08/2021

TIPS FOR HEALTHY MARRIAGE RELATIOSHIP

* AS A MAN SEE YOUR SELF IN YOUR SPOUSE

Eph.5.28b He who loves his own wife loves himself. (AMP)

Gen.2.23 "At last!" Adam exclaimed. "She is part of my own flesh and bone! She will be called `woman,' because she was taken out of a man." (NLT)

The same way we all have short comings our spouses also have one and because she is PART of you, you can't judge her because that is the other side of who you are.

27/07/2021

That which you call a wrong marriage or mistake in your choice of a life partner is foreknown by God (psalms 139:1-5)
Enough of wallowing in self pity and regrets. Rise up to the challenge Talk to the one that created you ask for his help, wisdom and patience He will fix the situation.

10/07/2021

ONE FLESH Gen2:24(con't)

ONE FLESH WHAT DOES IT MEAN?

Oneness in marriage relationship is clearly defined in Phil2:2-4

Phil.2.2 - Fill up and complete my joy by living in harmony and being of the same mind and one in purpose, having the same love, being in full accord and of one harmonious mind and intention.
Phil.2.3 -
Do nothing from factional motives [through contentiousness, strife, selfishness, or for unworthy ends] or prompted by conceit and empty arrogance. Instead, in the true spirit of humility (lowliness of mind) let each regard the others as better than and superior to himself [thinking more highly of one another than you do of yourselves].

Phil.2.4 - Let each of you esteem and look upon and be concerned for not [merely] his own interests, but also each for the interests of others.
Does this scriptures define your relationship with your spouse? Evaluate and ask for the help of God. Unity/ oneness shot the door against marriage destroyers.

(to be continued )

04/07/2021

ONE FLESH

Gen.2.24 - Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and shall become united and cleave to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

ONE FLESH WHAT DOES IT MEAN?

WHY DO MOST COUPLES LIVE TOGETHER AS CO TENANTS?

Adam said "the woman " Gen.3.12 - And the man said, The woman whom You gave to be with me - she gave me [fruit] from the tree, and I ate.

DO YOU SEE YOURSELF IN YOUR SPOUSE
John.10.30 JESUS said I and MY Father are ONE
This is also the MYSTERY of MARRIAGE ( to be cont)

09/06/2021

WHY WAS ADAM BLAMED FOR LISTENING TO HIS WIFE.

GODS EXPECTATIONS FROM YOU AS THE MAN

3. SPIRITUAL SENSITIVITY:
As a spiritual leader in the home, Be careful and sensitive enough to recognize when the flesh is speaking through your spouse. Every suggestion, advice negating God's direct instructions or Word.is of the flesh (1John 4:1).
Cherish and Honor your relationship with God like Job who refused to heed to the voice of his wife to curse God and live.

Never compromise God's standard in order to please your wife in the name of love. That will spell doom for the family, the family might experience a closed heaven as a result of your action.

06/06/2021

GOD'S EXPECTATIONS FROM ADAM (cont)

*PRIORITY: God wants Adam's loyalty, total obedience and adherence to his instructions.

Have you eve wondered or ask yourself why Abraham didn't Inform Sarah
he was going to offer Isaac her son as a sacrifice to God?

God demands 💯 loyalty from you as a man He wants to be the topmost priority on your list every day.

As the spiritual head of the home Do not dialogue with your wife or anyone don't seek approval or a second opinion when it comes to your deallings with God.

God should always have the final say if you desire His consistent presence and guidance in your marriage.

05/06/2021

WHY WAS ADAM BLAMED FOR LISTENING TO HIS WIFE? GEN3:17

GODS EXPECTATIONS FROM YOU AS THE MAN OF THE HOUSE

*SELF AWEARENESS : Understand WHY you were created a MAN not a WOMAN

CHOSEN by GOD to be the SPIRITUAL LEADER in the Home

Gen.18.19 Yes, I've settled on him as the one to train his children and future family to observe GOD's way of life, live kindly and generously and fairly, so that GOD can complete in Abraham what he promised him." (MSB)

Never lower God's standard
NO SENTIMENTS NO COMPROMISE NO RECONSIDERATION GOD most always have the FINAL SAY in your home that's what He wants.
He wants you to Love Him enough to FEAR, RESPECT and HONOR Him And to be the SHEPHERD in your home

02/06/2021

Never consider Divorce as an option Never take a walk with out putting up a fight against the enemy of your MARRIAGE. You and JESUS can win any battle

02/06/2021

Found your self in an abusive life treatning marriage and you decided to take a walk,

well, that's the wisest decision you can ever make according to Deut 24:1-4
your peace with God is guaranteed if you have no condemnation in your heart.

Stay connected to God if you desire His devine intervention. He'll lead you to your safe heaven in Jesus name. 💖

01/06/2021

Which one does God hates?
The ACT OF DIVORCE or the DIVORCED.
Sympathize with the divorced and Stop the stigmatization!

01/06/2021

Mal 2:16 "God hates divorce" HE HATES SEPERATION from Him. You may be separated from man but not God. Your status as a Divorcee is NOT a determinant of your heaven.

16/05/2021

Discontentment a Subtle Home Destroyer

01/05/2021

More Lessons From The First Marriage in the garden of Eden

26/04/2021

SEASONS in the MINISTRY

What SEASON are you going through❔

The beauty of your of your assignment is revealed more in the most difficult and trying times of the ministry.

Labour with him, Stand by him Be a great source of inspiration

Therein lies your fulfillment

26/04/2021

GOD GOT HIS EYES ON YOU!

Your journey in life was ochestrasted by God

Ps.33.18 Behold, the eye of the LORD is upon them that fear him, upon them that hope in his mercy;

U are the Lord's Handmaid

DON'T BE AFRAID GOD IS WITH YOU

HE'LL MAKE EVERYTHING BEAUTIFUL FOR YOU AND YOUR FAMILY IN JESSU NAME

24/04/2021

A word for the pastor's wife
you are called the joy of many generation
Let your husband find solace in you. You and him against the world