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Effective Islamic Parenting, adjacent LAUTECH TEACHING HOSPITAL Ogbomoso, Ogbomoso (2024)

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Adjacent LAUTECH TEACHING HOSPITAL Ogbomoso

02/05/2024

Is there anything like minor or household stealing by children?
Do we regard the licking of sugar, stealing of fish and taking the #20 on the table to buy sweet as theft? OK if not, what is it?

Islam emphasises preventive measures & principles inculcating right from childhood. However conscious, disciplined and pious parents will find it easier to build the moral values, discipline mindset and preventive habits to avoid children lieing & stealing culture.

Last Friday hundreds of parents discussed role of adkar and dua on the growth and success of our dear children. Join us this weak on our heart to heart open discussions on effective Islamic Parenting as we deliberate extensively on *preventing & curbing the habits of lieing, domestic theft and begging in our dear children* as charity begins at home.

*To our dear children, get set to read any aayat of the Qur'an for us* .

Let's learn effective Islamic Parenting together, invite your friends and families.

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*May we be blessed with great and honoured children*

28/04/2024

“ *Grow with them."*

As children grow and develop, we parents should also grow and adapt to meet their evolving needs, learning alongside them.

The way you treat your child when they are 4 years, won’t be the same way you treat your child when they are 10 years.

Parenting is a journey that involves constantly learning and evolving in order to become the best parents to our kids.

Loyalty and obedience is always enhanced by knowledge, wisdom & skills practiced not spoken.

You are the first teacher, mentor & model. Act WELL

Alhamdulillah for our maiden edition of H2H Open discussions on effective Islamic Parenting held last Friday. Tens of parents & children joyously interact on dua/adkar. It's more than a course.

Join us now to learn more practical skills on effective Islamic Parenting

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*May almighty Allah make it easier than envisaged.*

26/04/2024

Why is dua important for kids?

Ultimately teaching our kids about the power of dua and adkar from a young age will help them learn to rely more on Allah than humans. Not only would we increase their love for Allah, but it is also a way to teach them resilience that when mommy and daddy are not here Allah is always there for them.

Let's learn effective Islamic Parenting ethics together

Join us now for our weekly after Jummah heart to heart open discussions on effective Islamic Parenting

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May we be blessed with pious & successful children

21/04/2024

Today is 12th Shawwal 1445
*6 bitter truth about Discipline*
1. Build a strong emotional bonds with your children before the day you will need to impose discipline.
2. Not because your upbringing is tough, you must be. Recognise how your upbringing influences your approach to parenting
3. No parent or child is perfect, Embrace imperfection and learn from experiences
4. Set boundaries with love. Be clear & consistent. It will help the children to understand thier limits and responsibilities
5. Encourage independence & autonomy. Allow them to make choices, take risk and learn from thier experiences.
6. Model best characters & healthy relationships. Demonstrate kindness, honesty, fairness and empathy towards others
7. Discipline can be achieved perfectly without canning or inflicting injuries.
May almighty Allah bless us and our families.

*Join us for an educative, informative and entertaining heart to heart open discussions on effective Islamic Parenting*

*4:30pm on FRIDAYs*

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©️ Abu Faatimah DhikruLlah
Effective Islamic Parenting

19/04/2024

Please be very careful who you leave alone with your children. This isn't just about the adults you leave them with but also, other children

You might be raising your children so well, but what about your neighbors children whom you love to leave your child(ren) with.

What about your friends children who you leaves your child(ren) with.

Children are influenced heavily this days by child peers.

May almighty Allah bless us with successful children.

©️ Abu Faatimah DhikruLlah AbdurRaheem
Effective Islamic Parenting

17/04/2024

Piety , good deeds, best characters will influence our wives and children positively.

Just as our sins/ wrongdoings will have an impact on them negatively even after our death.

Both traits also with ripple effect. From father to children to grandchildren.

Let's choose wisely, as parents we deserve prayers both on earth and on qiyamah.

Prayers that will benefit us should come from righteous children.

May we be successful in this world and akhiroh

Let's grow together in effective Islamic Parenting

©️ Abu Faatimah DhikruLlah
Effective Islamic Parenting

15/04/2024

*MY HERO BOY; THE STRENGTH, THE WEAKNESS & THE INTRIGUES*

The almighty specially created both males and females and placed males above females as cited in the Qur’an فَلَمَّا وَضَعَتۡهَا قَالَتۡ رَبِّ اِنِّىۡ وَضَعۡتُهَاۤ اُنۡثٰىؕ وَاللّٰهُ اَعۡلَمُ بِمَا وَضَعَتۡؕ وَ لَيۡسَ الذَّكَرُ كَالۡاُنۡثٰىۚ وَاِنِّىۡ سَمَّيۡتُهَا مَرۡيَمَ وَاِنِّىۡۤ اُعِيۡذُهَا بِكَ وَذُرِّيَّتَهَا مِنَ الشَّيۡطٰنِ الرَّجِيۡمِ‏

He is a symbol of strength and power. He is a maker, fighter, defender, organizer, motivator, lover, tough, imam, Qodi, Mufty with an inbuilt sense of responsibility.

No disrespect to the female child, she is even more special; we all know that Islam values, protect and placed mothers & girl Child in an esteem position.

The male child is well loaded with strengths and abilities but not void of some damning weaknesses. Each of his strengths comes with an attached (equally potent) weakness.

How do we make the best out of him? Mind you, if we don't tend to him with knowledge, he involuntarily yields to his weaknesses and then, we have a terrible nuisance at our hands.

*HAVE YOU EVER WONDERED WHY OVER EIGHTY PERCENT OF CRIMINALS ARE FROM THE MALE STOCK?*

Boys should be equipped with life building skills (goal setting, decision making, assertive skills, values, negotiation skills, refusal skills, self-esteem) to help them navigate successfully through the vulnerable phase of their lives.

Essentially don't ignore, overwhelmed, exhausted of *ANY* misconduct, misbehaviour. Its a phase, it will InshaAllah come to past.

*PRAY, SEEK HELP, BE POSITIVE AND ENCOURAGE THEM*

May we be blessed with great & beneficial children.

Let's grow together in effective Islamic Parenting
©️ Abu Faatimah DhikruLlah
Effective Islamic Parenting

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13/04/2024

Don't exchange your presence with your kids with presents.
Spend good times with your children

13/04/2024

4th Shawwal 1445

Assalamu alaykum warhamatuLlah wabarakatuh
Dear sirs,
*NOT ALL ABOUT DISCIPLINE*

Sometimes like today, just seat with your children and gist. This is the practice of our beloved prophet Muhammad (SAW). He most times relate with children as adults.

Yes, gist, play around, have fun.

All this disciplinarian/old soldier/ I don't take nonsense attitude will do neither you nor the children good.

Visit most higher institutions even secondary schools, the most wayward children are the ones whose fathers are extremely strict. Affirming boundaries with love 💘& conviction is far better.

They bottle up so much and the moment they get an opportunity to escape daddy's over bearing presence, they will explore all at once, and that, is the big problem.

Every child's mind is created to explore, having a parent they can talk/ confined in is a great thing because they can come clean and you will help them navigate.

But when a child knows, my father will k**l me when he hears, they will go ahead to do it but find ways to keep it hidden.

Please be your children's friends now so that when you are old, you won't be begging them to take your calls or visit you.

May we be friends in this world and akhiroh upon good, virtues and Islam.

Abu Faatimah DhikruLlah AbdurRaheem
Effective Islamic Parenting

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27/03/2024

*Ramadan Day 17*

*Do They Just Act For No Reason*

📍 There is always a trigger and always something happening leading to the child/ teenage lashing out or behaving in the undesirable way.

📍 Very often, though not all the times the reason is simply Immature Brain 🧠 Development, Inability to Regulate Big Emotions and Control Impulse, but that’s still a Reason!

📍 As Muslims, we are encouraged to avoid conjecture and be very kind at all times in all situation towards the children.

📍 Punishments, Rewards, Shame and Exclusion are form of discipline that are not effective and damaging. It is because they completely ignore the *Why Behind The Behavior.*

📍 These approaches don’t help children/teenagers to resolve underlying issues and those issues build up. Children eventually learn how to mask and not trust us with their problems which later causes huge issues.

📍 Investigate, Be Gentle, Be Kind and expect reward for all these from *ALLAAH* plus laying foundation on raising calm, considerate and kind individuals.

📍May We Be Blessed With Great Children In This World And Akhiroh.

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Let's grow together in effective Islamic Parenting

©️ Abu Faatimah DhikruLlah AbdurRaheem
Effective Islamic Parenting

25/03/2024

*Ramadan Day 16*

*NOT COMPARABLE*

💐 Do you know that when a Dog and Elephant get pregnant the same day, the Dog might have more than a dozen Puppies before an Elephant get one.

💐 However, if an Elephant is asked why she didn’t give bIrth as the Dog, she might respond convincingly.

💐" Let’s understand something in life, What the Elephant carry is not a Puppy but an Elephant. She only give birth to one in two(2) years. When the baby Elephant hit the ground, the Earth 🌍 feels it. When the baby Elephant crosses the road, People stop and watch in admiration.

💐 What the Elephant carry draws attention. *IT IS MIGHTY & GREAT.*

💐 Don’t loose Faith or Confidence when you see other children Great and Successful. Don’t be Envious of others Achievements. Don’t Despair . Don’t Blame your children or Talk down on them. Don’t Compare Them.
*They Are In Shaa Allah GREAT ACHIEVEMENT in the Waiting.*

💐 Your child time is coming and when it hit the surface, people shall yield in admiration. Do not compare your journey to *ANYONE.* Continue to put up the best you can and pray for them.

💐 May We Be Blessed With Successful Children In This World And Akhiroh.

Let's grow together in effective Islamic Parenting

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©️ Abu Faatimah DhikruLlah
Effective Islamic Parenting Effective Islamic Parenting

24/03/2024

*Ramadan Day 11*

*Regulated Play.*

🤗Playisn'tthe Enemyof learning, it's learning partner. Play is like fertilizer for brain🧠 growth.

👍Value play because play is valuable. Play offerchildren so many things that nothingelse can offer.

Prophet Muhammed (SAW) spoke often of the love🩷 and mercy with children.
Had you spent some time with him you would have seen his Joyand playfulness with the youngones💃and in his community.

👉Free playis also natural means of helping children discover what they love.
In their play children try out many activities and discover where their talent lies.

📌In social play, children learn how to negotiate with peers, how to please others, and how to overcome anger that can arise from conflicts.

⛹🏿In Outdoor Play, children deliberately dose themselves with moderate amounts of fear, as they swing, slideor twirl on playground equipment and they thereby learn how to control not only their bodies, but also their fear.

*Let me appeal to you on behalf of my kids colleagues*

🫷'Don't STOP US from Playing, We love to Play, USE what WE love to achieve what YOU love". saidby Abu faatimahourbehalf.

©️ Abu Faatimah DhikruLlah AbdurRaheem
Effective Islamic Parenting

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13/03/2024

*Ramadan Day 3*

Seeing your children succeed at the same things you did when you were young is great, but watching them excel at things you failed at or didn't even try is even better.

To achievethese, we need to be discipline, focus, consistent and prayerful, above all support them to fly and not carry them on the back.

Give them praises rather than condemnation, because it is human nature and Sunnah for people to live up to the reputation that others give them.

Stop using hands to work and sometimes using legs to kick the works.

Let's grow together in effective Islamic Parenting

©️ Abu Faatimah DhikruLlah AbdurRaheem
Effective Islamic Parenting

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12/03/2024

*Ramadan Day 2*
Mum : What's wrong with you dear? Why are you crying profusely?

Halimah : ( crying) I failed my GCE exams. I just checked the result. SubhanaAllah, I put up my utmost best.

Mum: BarakaAllahu fih my dear ♥ girl. Let me see the result.

Halimah: Promise me you will not show it to anyone including my dad. He will be disappointed in me. ( she gave out the result)

Mum : MashaAllah, this is worth being grateful 🙏to Allah for. Dear daughter Let me teach you some unforgettable facts about life and failure today

1. Trust in Allah’s plans for you.
When you fail at something, know surely that Allah is aware and your appointed time is the best
2. Do yourself a favor and accept your failures. No excuses, Because if you don’t accept your failure, then you won’t be able to learn from them.
3. There’s a lesson to learn from every failure. Look back and reflect.
4. Don’t let the fear of failure stop you. You are destined to be great. When you fail, remember that you are merely one step closer to success. The setbacks you face make you smarter and more resilient, equipping you with valuable knowledge that prepares you for victory.

5. Act more smarter and harder. Relate with successful pious friends, read harder and pray fervently.
May almighty Allah make us successful both here and there
©️ Abu Faatimah DhikruLlah
Effective Islamic Parenting

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10/03/2024

*Embrace don't Embarrass*

Next Time your child is
Shouting, angry, crying, and not listening, please embrace and be gentle on him/her

Remind yourself
🍓There’s nothing wrong with my child, these are normal behaviors

🍊I don’t need to take this behavior personally. This does not say anything about my parenting

🍉 I can’t control how my child is behaving, but I can control how I respond

🍇My child is unable to handle his/her behaviors and needs my help.

🍍I will surely be rewarded for my patience & gentility by Allah

🍎 With care, pampering, right communication, positive attitude & dua, my child will be fine and great.

This will help you staying calm and being calm is our power.

*I will NOT*
🚫 beat
🚫 abuse
🚫 abandon

*I will remain positive*

©️ Abu Faatimah DhikruLlah AbdurRaheem
Effective Islamic Parenting

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06/03/2024

*DO NOT SAY YES, WHEN YOU NEED TO SAY NO*
Few months ago, I was in a mosque 🕌 for Solatul JUMMAH, a middle aged boy insisted to be directly behind the imam as he was the first to be there.

Despite the fact that it's disallowed 🚫 to talk 👄during khutbah, the Babas tried thier utmost best using signals, signs,pull & push,. the boy was firmed. He insisted on his rightful position.

They have no choice than to ignore the boy. After solah, I realised beside the boy being an Hafidhul Qur'an, he was also the first to be in the mosque.
*Children must know when to say NO to request, demands, pull & push.*

Sahl ibn Sa‘d (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Messenger of Allah (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) was given something to drink, so he drank from it. There was a boy on his right and old men on his left. He said to the boy: "Do you allow me to give it to these?" The boy said: "No, by Allah, O Messenger of Allah. I will not prefer anyone over myself with my share from you." So the Messenger of Allah (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) put it in his hand.

They must also understand and be convinced to say *NO* ALWAYS TO
🚫EXAMINATION MALPRACTICE
🚫 bad peer pressure
🚫 Sexual harassment etc

Our children should be confident with humility.
*May we be blessed with knowledgeable, bold,confident and humble children*

©️ Abu Faatimah DhikruLlah AbdurRaheem
Effective Islamic Parenting

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01/03/2024

Shout out to my newest followers! Excited to have you onboard!

Ally Ashabi Kifayat, Ismail Ali, Risqat Yusuf, Adekunle Abosede Abdul Wasi, Oseni Aminat Eluyemi, Hamja Alarabi, Moridiyah Bimbola, Kulchum Bakari

29/02/2024

*Why do children lie?🤷‍♀️*

*Parents* often worry why children lie and always looking for way out of every slight difficulties.
Kids lie for so many reasons but the most prominent is *FEAR*, Yes fear of being beaten, abused or punished.

Children don't lie because they are bad, No, they are mostly scared of our reactions especially to their failures, mistakes and errors. And don't forget this continue until it forms an Habit.

One very important question you need to answer is *"How did you react the last time your child was truthful about a mistake or even an error?"*

*Furious? Angry? Shame them?*

Answer the question sir/ma with utmost sincerity.
If answer to the question above was YES ! Then do you think he/she will be confident to accept mistakes, take responsibility and open up next time?.

*Of course not!!*

So instead of going the other route, why can't we be positive and try the following ways/steps.

To be continued in part II

©️ Abu Faatimah DhikruLlah AbdurRaheem
Effective Islamic Parenting

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