Zebedee Igbende

04/11/2023

!🙆

𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗦𝗧𝗜𝗡𝗚𝗦 𝗢𝗙 𝗗𝗘𝗣𝗥𝗘𝗦𝗦𝗜𝗢𝗡.

The wings of my hope
has been clipped by the sharp
pangs of a long term depression

The lightness of my thoughts
has been switched off,
I shuttled in a fuzzy direction
like a crab in a borrow,
searching for my thought's switch

The time I got close to the
switch, the hands of weariness
nudged me, I collapsed in the
sombre confusion

I tumbled harder in the
sombre confusion,
wriggled in torment cage,
my imagination disabled,
my peace of mind crippled,
the brilliance of my vision
got bedazzled in the throne
of sombre confusion

I screamed audibly for help,
but the Wolf in my heart
didn't allow the thunder of
my voice to strike sound via
my lips, and perch on the
ears of legion folks

This is where it hurts–
seeing the fuming flames of
depression roasting the temple
of my happiness impotently
like a withered grass that burns
without anyone around to
quench the fire.

-𝗭𝗲𝗯𝗲𝗱𝗲𝗲 𝗜𝗴𝗯𝗲𝗻𝗱𝗲.

08/07/2022

🙆!

𝗢𝗡𝗘 𝗗𝗔𝗬

My pen will devoid God's writing ink
Blunt its writing efficiency and accuracy
Shed tears of misery
Gushing on my books with haziness
Soaking its wise lines
With the shadow of ignorance

My books will blow a gasket
It will miss God's writing hand
That paints it contents with iron words
Watering wisdom and humour
And fetching compliments from readers

My soul will be in seventh heaven
Shake a leg to eternal kingdom
Delight in the embraces of relief

Death will fold up my life
Ceased my nostrils breath
Soil will decay my carcass
Vultures will prey on my corpsehood

That (one day) I will DIE.

01/04/2022

18/02/2022

🙆!

( \( \ )
,_ ; o > 𝗅ⁿᵈᵉᵉᵈ 𝖦ᵒᵈ ⁱˢ
{ `--. / (_) 𝗀ʳᵉᵃᵗ & 𝖬ⁱᵍʰᵗʸ.
`={ \`-.___/` | 😭😭
`-{ / -=`\ | 𝖮ⁿ ᵉᵛᵉʳʸ ˢⁱⁿᵍˡᵉ ᵈᵃʸ
`={ -= = _/ / ᵖᵉᵒᵖˡᵉ ᵏⁱˡˡ ᵘˢ ᶠᵒʷˡˢ
`\ .-' /` ᵃⁿᵈ ᵉᵃᵗ ᵉˢᵖᵉᶜⁱᵃˡˡʸ ᵒⁿ
{`-_.'===, ᵒᶜᶜᵃˢⁱᵒⁿˢ, ʰᵒˡⁱᵈᵃʸˢ
/ /` `\\ ᵃⁿᵈ ʰᵒᵗᵉˡˢ ᵇᵘᵗ ᵃᵗ ˡᵉᵃˢᵗ
/ / '/= ʷᵉ ᵗʰᵃⁿᵏ 𝐺ᵒᵈ ᵇᶜᵒˢ ʷᵉ
`\= ᵃʳᵉ ᵇᵉᵗᵗᵉʳ ᵗʰᵃⁿ 𝑁ⁱᵍᵉʳⁱᵃⁿˢ
ʷʰᵉʳᵉ ᵘⁿᵏⁿᵒʷⁿ ᵍᵘⁿᵐᵉⁿ, ʰᵉʳᵈˢᵐᵉⁿ, ᵃˢᵘᵘ ˢᵗʳⁱᵏᵉˢ, ᵇᵒᵏᵒʰᵃʳᵃᵐˢ, ˢᵒˡᵈⁱᵉʳˢ ᵃⁿᵈ ᶜᵒʳʳᵘᵖᵗ
ˡᵉᵃᵈᵉʳˢ ᵏⁱˡˡ, ˢᵘᵖᵖʳᵉˢˢ, ᵇʳᵘᵗᵃˡ ᵃⁿᵈ
ᵃⁿᵈ ᵐᵃʳᵍⁱⁿᵃˡⁱˢᵉ ᵃⁿʸʰᵒʷ....
😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣🤣

© 𝒁𝒆𝒃𝒆𝒅𝒆𝒆 𝒍𝒂𝒖𝒈𝒉 𝒇𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒐𝒓𝒚.
𝐽ᵒⁱⁿ ᵗʰᵉ ᵍʳᵒᵘᵖ & ᵇʳᵉᵃᵏ ᵘᵖ ʸᵒᵘʳ ʲᵃʷˢ.

12/01/2022

🙆!

She told me, she's feeling stomach pain after few weeks she ate the beans I gave her.....Help her in prayers friends 🙏
😭😂😎😋💔

02/12/2021

🙆!

𝗘𝗡𝗚𝗟𝗜𝗦𝗛 𝗡𝗢 𝗕𝗜 𝗨𝗥 𝗠𝗔𝗧𝗘
🤣🙈😎

Jeez! You better hush up the hurly-burly altercation or scotch vomiting hodgepodge of Jabberwocky, if Davido donated 250 million naira across orphanage homes in Nigeria doesn't mean is the best of all the Nigerian artists.

Nudiustertian when I was obambulating somnambulism or noctambulism via Customary court direct opposite BSU first gate, I heard some homo sapiens argle-bargling that Davido is better than Wizkid. Instantaneously, I was screamingly indignant and quite katzenjammer or flummoxed over the brouhaha which have no magnanimous or consequential germane to their lives. That whole poppycock tumult or rumpus razzmatazz my ataraxia to an extent I nearly collapse or have pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis.

When I resided back to my milieu after the scene, I did not stop ex-cogitating on that combustible lemma imbizo or ruckus that enervated and debilitated my peace of mind. Blive I have a phantom or phantasmagoria that every Tom, Dick and Harry on this world have a distinct role and mission to venerate on this cracked and fallen world and all fingers aren't the same. There's also an aphorism which succinctly mutters sagaciously that; "all members are the same but others are equal than others" so don't compare anyone to someone, people aren't the same.

Stop acting anencephalous and vocalizing balderdash or gibberish about people's ethics and idiosyncrasies. But better look forward to accomplish your God sent mission or else in a due time you will ululate lachrymosely or abyssepelagic like a lost child in the wilderness.

𝗛𝗮𝗽𝗽𝘆 𝗡𝗲𝘄 𝗠𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗵❣️
𝖦𝗈𝖽 𝖻𝗅𝖾𝗌𝗌🙏

31/12/2020

🙆!
2020 DON OPARI 2DAY!
Jah I tnk u 4 ya meci
nd blesins wey u show
2 mi /us🙏🙏.

Pls frnds mak una follow me
embark on dis trip to 2021 home
Of peace nd progres....kelekele
we go enta di place thru Jah
leading us 🙏🙏.

●★●―★―●★●
▬▬▬.◙.▬▬▬
═▂▄▄▓▄▄▂
◢◤ █▀▀████▄▄▄▄◢◤
█▄ █ー ███▀▀▀▀▀▀▀╬
◥█████◤
══╩══╩══
●●―★―●●

All di interested pesins are advised 2 cut dia ticket b4
12:00pm nd enroll for di flight to
takeoff @ 4:00 pm says; di pirate
JESUS and co-pirate ZEBEDEE
respectively.
WHO'S WITH ME?
_________•(██████)•
______•(█)_(▒)(▒)(▒)_(█)•
____•(█)(▒)_____ ___(▒)(█)•
__•(█)(▒)______XII____(▒)(█)•
_•(█)(▒)______\_|______(▒)(█)•
•(█)(▒)________\|__ _____(▒)(█)•
•(█)(▒)_IX_____ o ____III_(▒)(█)•
•(█)(▒)_________________(▒)(█)•
_•(█)(▒)_______________(▒)(█)•
___•(█)(▒)_____VI____ (▒)(█)•
_____•(█)(▒)________(▒)(█)•
_______•(█)_(▒)(▒)(▒)_(█)•
________•(███████)•

_____•(███)(_____)(███)•
___ •(███)_________(███)•
Cut ur ticket, don't left behind
di tym.
2021
SHALA ME ZA!

12/12/2020

🙆!

𝙓𝙢𝙖𝙨 𝘽𝙤𝙣𝙪𝙨!
𝔽𝕚𝕟𝕖𝕤𝕥 𝕘𝕚𝕣𝕝.
⬆️🙈⬇️
You won't believe what happened to me yesterday night.I was coming back from somewhere around 9pm when I saw this beautiful damsel approaching me. She has the beautiful face of Beyonce, the sumptuous lips of Tonto Dicke, the backside like that of Jackie Appiah. The curves were like that of Mercy Johnson. She's got the height like that of Nadia Buhari. Her eyes were as beautiful as that of Ini Edo.She got the forehead of Rihanna, with bumper front package like that of Cossy Orjiakor. She was looking innocent like Genevieve Nnaji. I knew I had to talk to her, it will be the greatest mistake if I allow her pass without talking. So I said "Hi."She didn't reply but she smiled. So I continued, "My name is Zebedee, I will love to talk to you but I'm in a hurry right now. Can I please get your contact so that I can call you for us to meet again?"She smiled again and said, "Ok. ZERO (0) HATE (8) ZERO (0), TIRI (3) TIRI (3) HATE (8), SEFUN (7) TWO (2) TIRI (3), NOI (9) NOI (9)... NA MY HENTIHEN (MTN) LINE BE THAT. YOU WANT MY SAIN (ZAIN) LINE?"I fainted!!!
🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂
　　　r^つ
　　　| |┃
　　　| |┃
　　　|∧＿∧
　　　( ﾟ∀゜)　　n
　　　 /　　 ￣￣(_]
　　　 |　　 /￣￣
　 ＿_ノ　 (
　(　 ＿＿ノ
　 ＼ ＼＼ ＼
　　 ＼ `^)､ ＼
　　　 ) /　＼ `^)
ᴿᴱᴹᴱᴹᴮᴱᴿ,
⃣®⃣ø⃣γ⃣α⃣Ι⃣ ⃣Α⃣s⃣н⃣р⃣r⃣ ε⃣έ⃣τ⃣ τнε 🅰🅵🆁🅸🅲🅰.
😜💙
💻 🎽📲
👖
👟👟
Z⃣e⃣be⃣D⃣ee⃣

27/11/2020

OMG🙆!
╭══•==== ೋ•✧๑❤️๑✧•ೋ===•══╮
¡ 😂𝐈𝐧 𝐃𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐝, 𝙄'𝙢 𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝘽𝙚𝙨𝙩!🤣 ¡
! 𝐸𝑝𝑖𝑠𝑜𝑑𝑒 𝑂𝑛𝑒 (1⃣) !
╰══•==== ೋ•✧๑❤️๑✧•ೋ===•══╯
👇👇👇
👇👇
😂
I met this pretty lady some few days back, she approached me and initiated a chat with me. She was driving a SUV that day. We finally exchanged contacts. She works as a senior staff in America. She also own a couple of properties in Lagos and Canada. We became very close. As a poor guy, I was very loyal but she wanted me to be the man in the relationship. Each time we meet her friends, she will be like, "Baby please buy me this... buy me that...". It is her money but she paints a picture that I am the one spending on her. She buys clothes that I never would have looked at because of the outrageous amount it would cost, and says I bought it for her as a gift. She rented a 2 bedroom flat for me and each time she comes around, she washes my clothes and cooks for me. She suggested that I become independent, that I should quit selling okrika clothes and start a very standard business. She budgeted N15million for my business. I started asking myself what's going on? She hasn't even met my parents. I haven't even proposed to her. I went ahead and stop selling okrika clothes.We started preparing for my first business trip, buying of Visa and all that. She finally transferred the money to my account. That afternoon, I came to the bank to transfer the money to my domiciliary account, I waited for a long time, just when it was about to be transferred, my phone rang and it was a friend I owe N150 who woke me up from the dream...

22/11/2020

🙆!

𝐃𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐑𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫?
Hmm....My sister you're 30 years
And above. And you have 4k followers
On Facebook, 10k followers on Instagram
and no single man follow you to your
Father's house ever once.... And you are
Happy posting on Facebook or Instagram
That, "you're daddy angel, mommy joy and
And you have zero worries"....Do you think
Your parents will be happy seeing this
Post of yours on social media? Or do you
Want to be Reverend sister?
Haba sister! At least, bribe a man should
Follow you to your father's house this
Time....Let him buy at least one mud of
rice for them as a Christmas gift.
𝔐𝔞𝔨𝔢 𝔞 𝔠𝔥𝔞𝔫𝔤𝔢 𝔱𝔥𝔦𝔰 𝔱𝔦𝔪𝔢 𝔰𝔦𝔰𝔱𝔢𝔯!

🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣

•°”˜˜”°•.¸☆ ★ ☆¸.•°”˜˜”°•.¸☆

╔╗╔╦══╦═╦═╦╗╔╗ ★ ★

║╚╝║══║═║═║╚╝║ ☆¸.•°*”

║╔╗║╔╗║╔╣╔╩╗╔╝ ★

╚╝╚╩╝╚╩╝╚╝═╚╝ ♡￥☆

╔═══╗

║╔═╗║

║╚══╗

╚══╗║ ....𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐲 𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐝

║╚═╝║

╚═══╝

╔╗─╔╗

║║─║║

║║─║║

║║─║║....𝐔𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭 𝐝𝐚𝐲

║╚═╝║

╚═══╝

╔═╗─╔╗

║║╚╗║║

║╔╗╚╝║

║║╚╗║║....𝐍𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐜𝐤𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

║║─║║║

╚╝─╚═╝

╔═══╗

╚╗╔╗║

─║║║║

─║║║║....𝐃𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐣𝐨𝐲

╔╝╚╝║

╚═══╝

╔═══╗

║╔═╗║

║║─║║....𝐀𝐥𝐦𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐲 𝐆𝐨𝐝 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐠𝐮𝐢𝐝𝐞

║╚═╝║

║╔═╗║

╚╝─╚╝

╔╗──╔╗

║╚╗╔╝║

╚╗╚╝╔╝

─╚╗╔╝─....𝐘𝐞𝐬, 𝐛𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐞𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐬𝐡

──║║── 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐙𝐄𝐁𝐄𝐃𝐄𝐄.

──╚╝── 𝔸𝕄𝔼ℕ!

---------------

http://www.Zebedeelaughfactory.com

https://facebook.com/groups/2436217026660121

----------------

Remember,

𝖨𝗍𝗓 𝗥𝗼𝘆𝗮𝗹 𝗔𝘀𝗵𝗽𝗿𝗲𝗲𝘁

𝑫𝒆 𝒃𝒓𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒏𝒆𝒘 𝒔𝒑𝒆𝒄𝒊𝒆 𝒐𝒇

🇦 🇫 🇷 🇮 🇨 🇦 .

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███▀▀▀███████

❣️THANKS!❣️

09/11/2020

🙆!

𝐖𝐡𝐨 𝐤𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐝 𝐀𝐛𝐞𝐥?

I went to the police station to certify my document. On arrival, I met one of the policemen reading the bible, specifically Genesis, I was so impressed so I asked him, "Officer, 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐤𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐝 𝐀𝐛𝐞𝐥, 𝐀𝐝𝐚𝐦'𝐬 𝐬𝐨𝐧?" He raised his head, looked at my face with dismay and said, "I don't know, ask 𝐒𝐭𝐠 𝐀𝐬𝐚𝐫𝐞, he is in charge of murder cases."
🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂