26/10/2021
NIGERIA: AMIDST YAHOOISM
The Moralist School, which I attended and strongly believed in its tenets and opinions, will never justify evil in whatever guise or form. A spade shall be called a spade, a monkey will never be a Monk because we want to give it a sense of belonging.
Many people have tried to logically portray 'Yahoo boys' as legitimate hustlers who were only trying to survive against all odds. They have been touted and seen as the hope for the recovery of our purported loot from Africa by the White Supremacists. A lot of rhetorics have been waxed to paint them as the modern day "Robin Hoods'', but in the ideal situation, are these people truly to be proud of? These are questions that beg for answers, sincere and apt one.
To be factual, we are not operating an ideal situation in our society and the country at large, so whatever people do, now is not the time to question the moral behind it. People do anything to survive, and that itself is not what the Moralist School could debate against and win with the Realist School. Man has eaten grass, fed on tree herbs, cooked poisonous animals and took gulps of urine and sewage just to stay alive. Since the ruling class has made life almost unbearable, Nigerians and indeed, Africans, have devised other ways, though illegitimate, to stay alive. Current among them is banditry, kidnapping, drug peddling and the rest. These mentioned ones are seen more as "extreme" crimes, why not the subtle ones?
And that's where the Yahoo Boy enters. He 'hustles' when others are sleeping, he stays hungry when others are feeding on their kobo and penny, he thinks when others seemingly engage in frivolities. And when the Yahoo boy balls in bars, people raise eyebrows! What's wrong in that? These are the kind of questions people ask to show support and solidarity. If you ask me, I blame not the supported and the supporter. The situation has left little room for critical reasoning because a lot of families are now on the brink. How does someone who hasn't eaten for two days think?
But are the Yahoo boys the only culpable group? No! The ruling class, the religious institution, the royal circle, the judiciary, the media and the society at large are the real Yahoo Boys! Theirs is an organized syndicate, cult, with a carefully woven web to do everything the Yahoo Boy does on a more organized level while enjoying the recognition of both the local and international community.
Oh, His Excellency has just siphoned the wealth of the country to the tune of billions of naira. He goes to the church to pay his tithe and offering or to the Imam for his zakaat and sodaqah. The clergymen know the Biblical and Qur'anic verses to quote, to 'purify' the loots of these Yahoo leaders in our political parties. They even organize vigils, fasting and prayer for them, and Heaven has remained patient! The royal seat is now a long table flanked either side by commonwealth vultures with an emperor who simply wants his own cut at the end of the table. They roll out chieftaincy titles for the highest moneybags with no moral or patriotism. They say "Ifa, baami agbonmiregun, okunrin kukuru oke igbeti" doesn't spend cowries anymore, they say he spends Bitcoin now. The judiciary knows the legal technicalities to set free a man who has impoverished the country, but a man that has just stolen a cup of rice will spend seven to ten years inside jail. May be the sight of a poor thief irritates them, unlike the one that reeks of billion. The media too is stashed with a lot of talented pen sycophants and literary naysayers. The highest bidder will have a favourable editorial, with fictions, facts and figures cooked and garnished with a craft and mastery only bettered by Satan's wit. Lori iro. They then donate, after receiving some humongous cuts from the cake, some fictitious awards like, "Man of The Year'', " Best Governor of The Year'', really? For constructing roads and paying salaries? Or for simply doing what he was elected to do? When all these pan out, the masses are turned to, with a little side of their Robinhood. They share cups of gari and rice with one thousand naira, or simply do the Amala party in their houses, with the poor thrown crumbs to, in front of their gates. After eating a wrap of Amala, these Yahoo paupers and never-do-wells will flood the town again, sometimes wielding dangerous objects, to praise their Yahoo thief who had stolen their destiny and that of their progenies on a platter of stomach infrastructure. Yeyenatu.
At the end, I realize that most people who are also in the Moralist School, castigating Yahoo Boys, are also not fit to throw stones. I have seen enough rot perpetrated by a lot of Popes and Sheikhs who have suddenly assume themselves to be the pinnacle of righteousness. I have seen holier sisters in the daytime whose wombs are no more due to multiple abortions. The holier men have embezzled what belongs to societies, some even go as far as bed the wives of their friends. Rots! Dirts!! Filth!!! They look holy, but before God, they are men whose sight are nothing more than carcasses. They preach with 'divine' grace, and the mumu you, will see yourself as a candidate of hellfire, hello? Yahoo boys may look like outlaws and menaces, yes, they are. But I feel comfortable knowing that they are not angels, because they never portrayed themselves as one. The ones we see as angels are the real devils, if only we know.
So, I ask, how many people are free from the 'Yahoo' tendencies? How many people will not 's**t' on the chair when allowed a sniffer on the throne? How many can say that their secret ways or activities are better than these Yahoo boys we now see as plagues?
This post, is in no way justifying the activities of Yahoo boys. It is rather exposing the silent hypocrisies in the lives of an average Nigerian irrespective of social and religious standings, young or old.
Indeed, everyone is a thief, the herbalist is a Yahoo boy too. (Ole ni everybody, yahoo ni babalawo).
BY: SIYANBOLA JIBRIL TUNDE
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