https://www.facebook.com/858092221045789/

Lion paddy, Eliminigwe phase I, Ibadan (2024)

19/12/2022

GUYS😉😉 STOP DATING A LIABILITY🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

1. A girl😏😏 who doesn't have transport fare to visit someone that she claims she love😍.

2. A lady who can't get u birthday💐💐 or valentine gift📦 but expect you to bring down the world for her during hers🤔🤔.

3. Someone who can't comfortably call you on phone for 5 minutes🙄🙄.
Always flashing and complaining she doesn't have airtime.😕😕

4. How do you cope🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️ with ladies that think relationship is an occupation🤗🤗 where she's supposed to be paid and taken care of💁‍♀️💁‍♀️.
(S*x is not a benefit to only men🙍‍♂️🙍‍♂️.)

5. Stop dating a liability no matter how beautiful she is👀😍😍.
Date a lady who add something beneficial to ur life💏.
Things like: financial intelligence: emotional intelligence: spiritual intelligence.☺️☺️

6. Date someone who's capable of calming down the storm within ur soul.
Not someone that will always be at the receiving end.🦋🦋

7. I'm not saying she must be rich🤑🤑.
But let her have something doing no matter how little it's😕😕.
Because no matter how u sees money, there must be a day that you will need urgent 2k from her🤨🤨.
Two✌️✌️ head are better than one.
Together👭 we shall move the mountain

Aunty come and beat me I dey house 😹😹
🚶🚶I come in peace🚶‍♂️🚶‍♂️

27/08/2022

*Breaking News*
*S*x specialists have just confirmed that
women enjoy s*x four times better than
men and women they also stand a better
chance of benefitting a lot from it...
*
*But based on that Scientists have also
proven that men are very stupid because
they are the ones that pay for it *
I always come in peace

31/05/2021

*_1) When a guy open a car door for a girl, it's either the girl is new or the car is new._*
*_2) A guy asked you for s*x and you asked, "Do you Love me?". What do you expect him to say, or Are you a LEARNER?_*
*_3) Half naked girls are hot, while well dressed girls are beautiful. Hell is hot, while heaven is beautiful. The choice is yours._*
*_4) You have been engaged to him for four (4) years and no wedding is forth coming. Please kindly remove the ring. Is your finger a key holder?_*
*_5) You have slept with over ten (10) girls without protection yet you go to the barbers shop with your personal clipper. What are you preventing?_*
*_6) Guys always know who their heart belongs to, so if you like cook chicken in diamond sauce or do monkey style in bed, if it's not you, it can't be you._*
*_7) In America when a couple go to bed they will say "Good nights my love" In Britain, "Sweet dreams darling" In Nigeria "Did you lock the gate, doors and windows?_*
*_8) You cannot say "I can't date you, I have a boyfriend" and be asking for money from him. Gt-bank staff cannot receive salary from UBA bank!_*
*_9) My name is A'square, I used my friend to set up my girlfriend to see if she'll cheat on me. Now they've sent me w**ding Invitation._*
*_What am I?_*
*_A) Learner_*
*_B)God sent_*
*_C) Fool_*
*_10) No Guy will ever tell a Lady "I've a Girlfriend" when asking her out. Their National Anthem is "We had issues and we've broken up"._*
*_11) Welcome to Nigeria where the government is responsible and blamed for every damn things. if mosquito bite you, you will blame the government._*
*_12) No guy is single, you either sn**ch him from someone or share him with someone, the most important thing is to be the highest Shareholder._*
*_13) I woke up today, someone somewhere just took their last breath. Thank You God for blessing me more than I deserve._*

31/05/2021

.................... Temporada 322
1) Someone said some men don't go to church to receive blessings, they go to church to see the blessing. Grace Glory and mercy * Any Blessing Grace Glory and Mercy here?
2) You dated 20 girls and said you don't understand me. Is my brother more math?
3) My sister, it's not just about having a pretty face._ * The question is, does it match the color of your legs? *
4) After four years of college, I went to NYSC camp and wrote on the wall.... ' GRACES TO GOD, NOW I'M A CO**SE '
5) Teacher: Give me an example of business failure due to careless management? Student: A pr******te getting pregnant. Teacher: Step out of my class!!!!!!!!!!!!!
6) At 6 years old, I already knew I was in the wrong country when I knew that the national oath ended with ′′ may God help me ′′
7) Make your wife proud 4 once, give 15 k for the soup in the presence of your friends, hug her and whisper in your ear. Bring me 13 k baby *
stop hating sinners in the name of God, even God is wondering who sent you! * ) ′′ Airtel - N1. 000-4378 4378 9876 1265 Etisalat-N500.-2156 2156 0088 0088 Glo - N1. 000 - 5647 3985 0471 3754 Mtn N1, 500-4532 2765 4565 1332 * These recharge cards were found by a good Nigerian at a gas station in Abakiliki. * * Please relay until you reach the right owner. * * My integrity doesn't allow me to carry am... *
10) she stole the money from her parents that ND gave me and I invested with it Now I'm successful... now, should I marry a thief
11) so all these beautiful girls I'm seeing I'm only going to marry only 4
*
12) when my mom starts yelling at me for no reason I always wonder ′′ Does this woman know who I am on Facebook?
13) Short people argue a lot Because they ain't tall enough to see the point
14) IF MY NAMORADE SAID YOU I LOVED YOU I IMPLIED HELP ME BLOCK HER NAH ONLY HER I GOT BIKO HELP HER BROTHER *
15) Some guys just born with evil... Simply because you broke up with her you're now wearing her pants
to clean your shoes.... smh
*
16) You don't even have a boyfriend and are looking for a husband... How? My sister, wish to ignore terms and conditions?
17) You're busy saying that dislike is painful....... The padlock fell on your leg before???
18) It is only in Nigeria that you will see a couple in a heavy jeep on their wedding day and the next day, they will be dragging seat inside KEKE.. Please what happened to the Jeep...
*
19) The pain of waiting for your girlfriend to eat...
20) I always act matured in church... But deep in my heart.. I also need those cookies that give kids *
22) Nobody walks faster than a guy who goes to a betting house to get his money *
23) You posted your boyfriend yesterday and today you are asking me for money today and your spirit is saying you have common sense.....
*
24) Ugly is when you're smiling and * * Someone passing by asks your sister who hit you? *
25) A FIRST CLASS SEA GRADUATE WHO CANNOT IDENTIFY A LADY WITH SEA SPIRIT IS THAT A SEA ENGRITY *
26) Person who doesn't fit, just dial the wrong number, make 2 faces or choose Davido . Must be Adamu from Kano? *
27) Some girls will be fine girl, great girl 2 bucket of water can't flush Especially those with small nyash. *
28) A guy said he'll never smoke w**d again That he can't believe he was the one watching the ants while they were moving
29) Are you a girl? Are you beautiful? Are you photogenic? Are you skinny? Do you have what it takes to model? * * If so please find something to eat if not ulcer will kill you
*
30) If you don't want to visit him, tell him: ′′ I don't know if I can come back, my dad is angry with my mom ′′.. *
31) Discrimination is when you hug girls with big b**b and shake hands with girls with small b**b *
32) People, whatever you do in this life, do not offend the people of your village. My neighbor got 500 k from MyBet and his girlfriend washed with his pants. * Now the guy is burning the fuse...

31/05/2021

1)You're here telling her to enter Keke and drop at Oshodi and then come and see u* *Another person is telling her "baby can I drive and pick you up so you'll have dinner"*
*brother put yourself in her shoe, which one you for go??*
2) Instead of buying insecticide 1k,why not allow mosquito to bite you,then you buy malaria drugs #600 and suya #400
3)There's a big difference between six packs and six ribs.*
*Don't confuse the two please*
*Free tutorials*
4) Can't believe I was naked when I was born those nurses must have seen everything chiiiii
5)My fellow Virgins....
Should we do it, this December or we should continue keeping it
6) Your mother will report you to your father, then start begging him to stop when he starts flogging you.
7)Pretending to be fine after breakup is not easy, a friend of mine fainted while smiling *
8)I don tire for this country ooooo, how can an ambulance jam person RUn
_
9)Some guys hold their girlfriend's hand at the mall because if they leave her hand, she will start shopping*
10)Being ugly is unfair, when a good looking person farts u become the prime suspect*
11)Divorce is for the rich people...imagin
e going to court for one room and 3 pots
*
12)You've been taking screenshots of clothes and shoes since the beginning of the year. We've entered November already*
*When will you buy them?*
13)Guys are searching for good girls with a sprinkle pr******tes vibes. While girls are searching for God fearing Husband with features of Yahoo Boi._
_Confused generation _
14)A drunk boy is like a liability but a drunk lady is an asset if you understand this maths even if you make heaven you won't see God *
15)I visited a friend's church yesterday and the pastor said do something crazy for God, I went outside and off the church generator na bad are do? *
16)Our pastor said, "let a husband who has never cheated on his wife lead us in prayer"* my People, up till now we're still in the church oo since morning
_prof Emma.
17) Please Can Someone tell me the name of the medicine that can be given to a wife to stop asking for money
18)Some Girls will be like I need a Man that can make me feel like a Woman.*
*my question is were you feeling like a Goat b4*
19)Instead of giving her umbrella you are telling her to enter your room make rain fall finish*
*Oga when did your room became Noah's Ark?*
*
20)Christmas is near o & men have started planning on how to cause quarrel between them & their galfrnds.My sister be obedient o even if he slaps u tell him God bless u *
21)
Guy if your name is still baby during arguments, you don't know what God has done for you. But if nah Ogbeni, alaye, ogaa, bro be your argument name. Your relationship don remain 25mb.*
22)Fat girls are the most selfish in the world. . They will sit down while wearing a miniskirt and u will see nothing
*
23)TEACHER* What do you called a girl who jumps from one guy to the another?
*STUDENT* A Bouncing Baby Girl
24) When i get married this are my rules to my wife if i catch u cheating u 're going
And if u catch me cheating u 're going Thank you
25)I came back to marry u..' naso them go take chop some gals for free this December.. by January everywhere go clear*

31/05/2021

1) Some people use Vaseline to make a way where there is no way , do you understand or I should go deeper?
2)A guy just return from 5 years imprisonment, you can't believe his girlfriend is asking him "what did you bring for me."*
Oohhhhhhh!! Daabi daabi
3)Let us pray....
Any lady that is busy deceiving one innocent brother to use as Xmas budget let the relationship scatter..
4)You are not dating me and you are commenting "my luv, "my baby " please you are confusing the serious candidates. My sister be serious
5) I can speak good English in my Heart, but if i open my mouth ehh
I couldn't does it
6) At what age did you realize that:
E.g means "Example Given"
I.e means "In Essence"?
I bet our teachers told us
e.g = "For example"
i.e = "That is" .
And they expect us to pass every exam when dey dey don't even know this simple thing.
Nonsense
7)If you want to make everyone happy, don't be a boss. Sell candies and w**d*
8)I really envy short people. They can snap full picture with front camera.*
9)Being cheated on is not a problem.the problem starts wen you start imagining them having s*x*
10)Vacancy Alert!*
*Guys with big stomach* *send your CV to ShopRite* *they need* *father Christmas*
11)Something is telling me to wear SARS uniform, go to Oshodi and shout SARS IS BACK!.*
*Abi How una see am? *
12) It has always been men before women, like Mr and Mrs, Husband and Wife, Adam and Eve until witches and wizards
13) Plsss, Don't call him honey its too cheap
*Call him onion*
14)Nothing more stressful than dating a girl who has no phone, you do 360 rotations around their house, in vain.
*
15) Na so I take 5k enter boutique, they test Suit of 75k. Now the zip don spoil, who did I offend in this life?
16)The problem with this Country is that those who have power have no sense and those who have sense have no Power
17) This hardship has affected even witches and wizards to the extent that they no longer serve food in dreams again
18)The older the p***y*
*The sweeter the taste*
*Young p***y be like today today stew, the ingredients never settle*
19)No matter how big your phone is, you can't see Man U on the premiere League table unless you go down*
20)9ja sef..*
*How can you use stolen palliative to pay bride price? Now they have arrested ur father in-law*
21)Real Joy is when you sit beside your Landlord in church and you owe him 9 months rents...Then the pastor says ........*
*Look your neighbour into their eyes and tell them, ‘Jesus have paid my debts.’
*
22) Rev. Father and Rev. Sister form is out!
For those of you who have given up on love .
*JUST DM ME FOR THE FORM OOO*
23)
*Special Dinner Party For All Group Members.* *Just To Thank You For The Time* *We Have Been Together In This* *Group All drinks and food on me*
*Date :- 29 December, 2020*
*Time: - 5pm.*
*Dress code:smart casual.*
*.Venue: - 世界上有太多的人在挨饿*
*Make sure you don't miss it*
24)Don't allow your man talk to another lady about his problems*. *A chest to cry on can become a BREAST to suck on*
*Na word of wisdom...*

31/05/2021

1)Men like s*x. Men like s*x. Men can't do without s*x.* *Potiphar's wife that wanted to r**e Joseph is she a man*
2)Ur age mates are using their saliva to count money while u are using yours to wet private part My brother poverty is saying WELL DONE
3) People have so many things to say a about you but you have to die first.
4) No matter how ugly your girlfriend is. Inside her pant, their is life.
5)Camera quality will make you think that some people are not your level,
bt behind the camera
there is hunger.
6) Not getting a massage from your partner the whole is also a message.
7) I want a girlfriend that already has a boyfriend.
I want to fight for love .
A guy told his girl, 'I wish to marry, "I might not be rich, i hav no money or car or companies like my friend John, but i luv u & adore u".
She looked at him with tears in her eyes & hugged him like there was no 2moro & whispered in his ears.. "if u luv me, introduce me to John....
heeerh!!!!!!
9)You buy a car for a girlfriend.... another guy buys fuel
That's division of labour
You buy her new clothes..... another guy remove them
That's separation of power .
She tells you she is not ready for s*x... Whilst another guy drills her daily.
That's Satanism
you buy her credit... She call another guy.
that's witchcraft.
My brother if you can't fear the devil abeg fear women.
10) A doctor wanted to release 3 mad people from hospital.
He asked the first one 2+2?
the mad man said 3,700.
You are really mad, the doctor said.
He asked again the second mad man 2+2,he reply =Wednesday
You are not far from death
The doctor said.
He ask the third one 2+2
Mad man reply =4
BRAVO! How did you get the answer? The doctor asked again.
He replied, i devided 3,700 by Wednesday.
The doctor collapse
11) A prisoner has more freedom than a man who has promise to give a woman money.
12)I don't know who needs to hear this but please throw that empty* *perfume bottle in your room away*..
13) I wanna open a motuary,pls promise me you'll die to support my business
14)My mom will be like"Am not gonna curse u but whatever u do to me ur kids will do u too 10 times"
Mom u are advertising the curse
15) I was cooking when my salt finished pls who can help me with salt onions,Maggi crayfish,small pepper,tomato & 5 cups of Rice?
16)Ladies tears are the most expensive liquid we have on this earth because it is made up of 66%of water and 200%of makeup.*
17) I don't marry for beauty.. I marry for peace of mind, if my children decides to be ugly that's their own problems
18) My neighbor has started buying Xmas chicken... Am just laughing, chicken that will soon lost
19) Everyone has a right to be foolish but some idiots use it stupidly.
*Teacher* : Mention 10 wild animals
*Student* : 5lions. 5tigers
20)Some ladies hate new relationship because they have to act as if they don't like money for some months before true or false
21) I am tired of relationship, I want to try relation car or relationplane,I can even manage relationbarrow because is like all these my girlfriend is from water

31/05/2021

1" Threatening people in 2021 will be like
"If you don't Behave i will take u back to 2020'
2" In Nigeria "how far" means so many things, like, "where's my money? "U dey Road?,"food dey?" She later Come? Is she still Short?
3" When someone tell you "I love you "Ask the Person "Till When?" To Avoid Unexpectedly Heartbreak
4" Sorry if I ever told you that am taken
I was brought back with keke yesterday
5" Everybody keeps telling me, Don't give up!! Don't give up!!! Now that I have spent all my savings, pls should I give up?
6" That wedding u are planing to go on Saturday Do they invite you?
7" Acting like everything is fine after breakup is not easy..oh My neighbor woke up by 2am Shouting Am I Not good Enough?
8" If all the massages you post on fb are used as rew material to form a person, will that person look exactly like you?
9" So after eating other people's rice and chicken, U now want to have small wedding of 20 people...Try it and see
10" My Dear Forget about the six classes of food...... having a good Man in ur life is the total balance diet
11" Please is there anyone here that has dated a native doctor Before? Can you share your experience?
12" Ifeoma Oya Come Hop in my Masaratti Na So Dem take Kidnap Ifeoma
13" This one all my neighbors just dey tie their chickens inside their rooms. Me wey like to dey play with chicken, how I wan cope?
14" Finally the MTN girl have been sacked...
This country self
Who else noticed that?
15" My Dear Don't try to impress anyone this season..ooh just Iron ur wig , Buy Okrika, Shape am and Iron am too..if u also Need Perfume go and buy Aboki pef No police go hold u and ask u why u doesn't buy New Dress..Be Wise
16" BREAKING NEWS
The chairman of STINGY MEN ASSOCIATION OF NIGERIA (SMAN) Makurdi Branch has been dumped by his girlfriend this morning after being caught adding water into her body lotion.
17" Please opening a police station is how much if you have your thieves?
18" My neighbor just bought IPhone12 and is asking me if I want the carton. Please is this an insult?
19" My neighbor after smoking w**d for the first time covered his mama's pot with his cap instead of pot cover.
20" Any small money way come now na for enjoyment
I go reason my future
next year
My future no dey run!
21" You and Sugar daddy dey Climb okada go hotel
Suffer no dey tire some girls
22" I Don't Know The Ingredients They Use In Making Alcohol But I'm Sure They Added Happiness, Truth And English
I never knew..I could speak British English...till on that fateful day..Whenever I go back to that video, I still can't believe I was the one talking.
23I DON DIE FOR THIS ONE*
A Guy living abroad called his mum to say
OLA: "mom, I've got HIV n so I'm coming
home"
MOM: (begging) please, OLA, never come back
home".
OLA surprised) "why"
MOM: "If you come home, your wife will get it
and she will give it to ur brother, ur brother
will
give it to our house girl and she will give it to
your father. Your father will give it to me and I
will give it to our driver, our driver will give it
to
ur sister and if your sister gets it, then the
entire
village will get it. So we are counting on you to
die alone.

31/05/2021

1)I Don't Care How Much I Spend On You But Remember: When We Broke Up I Want My Money Back
2) Relationship stress is so painful, I scratched someone's head in a taxi thinking its mine
3)When* *you* *run* *out* *of* *words* *while* *talking* *to* *your* *crush* *and* *you* *be* *like* _so_ _what_ _kind_ _of_ _air_ _do_ _you_ _breath_ *?*
4) You got her pregnant and you say is by accident.
Sharrapp dia!!!!!
When did your s***m attend a driving school?
Accidentally sense
5)Stop taking my posts personal, they're just for fun,,, Even if I post your Bae just know we are having fun ```
6) These ladies on Instagram will make you feel that your girlfriend is not a female
7)Ladies will watch all kinds of romantic telenovelas but when they kiss you it sounds like itel screenshot "kekra*"
Never chase it, let it come to you.... Naso jollof rice and malt take pass me yesterday
Motivational speakers avoid me mbok
9)your boyfriend isn't allowed to talk to other girls buh you're there asking someone's boyfriend to send you money..your face like compulsory question
*
10) Some people should be glad and happy that mirror can't laugh.
11)I don't date boys who don't have money - says; a girl who baths with soap till it becomes the size of a sim card.*
12)Nah trust issues dey make us write exams. If not so, you don teach me, I don learn am. We suppose move on now."*
13)If you're reading this and you've money *
*I miss you , I really do *
14)Please someone should pity me and date me nau, it’s not good o. All the love songs in my head just dey waste, I no see who I go sing am give*
15)Changing positions is very useless bcos you will still put it in the same hole,why not keep the phone one place and charge it*
16)I love you with all my heart*
*same heart you couldn't label in biology during exam*
17)Someone is driving your future car in Japan as we speak *
18) The law of relationship states that no one is above broken heart
19)celebrity life is not easy ooo You cannot wear one shoe and shirt two times....*
20)Did you know that whenever your ni**le is scratching you, your man is cheating on you?*
21)I want three children.
Two Yahoo boys and 1 Lawyer to defend them
22) Dating A Food seller Is More Beneficial Than A Graduate At Least, Your Breakfast And Supper Is Always Assured... Say No to slayqueens...
Date Real women
23) Forget about dog, have u even been chased by tolotolo? That animal is a cultist oooo

31/05/2021

1)Telling Lies Start Frm Primary Sch with This Song.... "I Remember Wen I Was Soldier" Wen Were u a Soldier???*
2)The way our economy is now, if a guy takes you to a restaurant and suddenly picks a call after eating and starts going out, My sister please follow him asap
*
3)I bought 2 pure water yesterday and this woman said she don't put anything below #100 inside Nylon, I just bought recharge card now and I'm waiting for my nylon *
4)I’m one cheap guy on this planet. Never mind if I have a girlfriend, you can still sn**ch me and eat me for free.*
5) Couples at shopping malls
Whites
Nigerians
If u like no waka fast
6)Whoever will marry me should be ready to play the role of a mother and a father because I'll be part of the children*
7)The last time I got drunk*
*I ended up fighting with my shadows,I nearly killed d guy *
8)YOU DEY OWE ME MONEY YOU COME GO JOIN ARMY........ RUBBISH *
9)Girl:-* I had s*x with 4 boys and you had s*x with 8 girls, but everybody calls me a pr******te and they call you a real man.
Please explain to me Why?
*Boy:-* When a lock is opened by many keys, it becomes a bad lock.
But when a key opens many locks,
it becomes a Master Key...!...
10) Being single for a long time can make you to forget how to spell releshensheep...!!
11)I hate meet ups because I always have to explain why I am only beautiful on pics. *
12)Don't be a boring wife..once in a while when mother in law is around,go naked and touch your bombom and say Mama this is what your son is enjoying*
13)I have missed football so much Please is John Cena still in Liverpool*
14)A little kid asks his Dad, “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?” “No idea,” replied the Father, “I’m still paying for it…”*
15)When Words Are Not Enough To Express Your Feelings...Dont Think That You Are In Love......................It Means That You Need To Improve Your Vocabulary...*
16)In d book of trouble chapter 1vs6... it say "baby I haven't seen my period since last month.... Can CEO please read verse 2?*
17)Short ni**as act like everything is okay but deep down they also want high heels *
18)Native doctor son don impregnate pastor's daughter power* *jam power *
*Una say wahala be like* *wetin?*
19) I have bought a ring oo but the shame of kneeling down for a 20yrs lady is now the problem
20) The only thing you should leave with your Ex are those hoodies and shirts she stole, if the gift is above 100k collect that s**t back.
Offer Valid while relationship last!
21)After 4 hot slaps,* *African mother wil be* *lik... I wil not touch u till* *ur father comes* *bck..Abeg the slap na* *registration?*
22)So I told my girlfriend today I want to have 17 kids and she shouted ahh as if she's my Future Wife*
23) Is like all this mosquitoes had resumed back to work, let me drink small sniper and use the rest to rub my body
24) Girls, call him today and tell him you coming over, then switch off your phone and sleep like a baby... Let the brother sweep his room for once.
25)Your Girlfriend is not your Wife. Stop acting like a Commander in Chief.*
26)Stop talking pictures in peoples cars and at peoples gates, your village people will kill you for nothing..*
*Thinking you have made it...*

31/05/2021

1) Let me tell you the final truth the fact that you don't like some one doesn't mean they will suffer or not succed..God is not from your village
2)Since I was born and now I'm getting old, I have never seen a girl asking her boyfriend to buy her Bible. BROTHER, have u seen?*
3)I just passed my Neighbour's Window & I heard them saying, "Pls Put Oil, it is Very Dry".*
*Should i knock on their door n tell them that I have Olive oil and engine oil*?
4) Wearing Brazilian hair is only to impress your fellow ladies. We guys don't even know the difference btw Brazilian and rat hair
5) A minister told his congregation, "Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To help you understand my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17." The following Sunday, as he prepared to deliver his sermon, the minister asked for a show of hands. He wanted to know how many had read Mark 17. Every hand went up. The minister smiled and said, "Mark has only sixteen chapters. I will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying."
6)Dear God,*
*Whatsoever Mark Zuckerberg and Bill Gate said in their prayers I copy and paste them In Jesus name*
7)He knows wen your period starts and end, but he doesn’t know wen you need money, May God free you from gynecologist boyfriend*
8)Broke girls are always insulting broke guys because they lack the sense of unity*
9) I hope you know that if the world ends
Your money will be useless , So gimme small na
10) My guys how do you take your money back from a lady who borrowed from you? What method do you guys use?
11)Your breast is small coz u don't allow guys touch it.. See, a body will remain at rest unless acted upon by an external force *
Newton's first law of motion
12) Small chat and you are already saying
“ I can’t wait to have you in my arms”
Ayekoo coat of arms
13) You are Single and you are walking round with earpiece in your ear.
What if a guy calls you, how will you hear?
14)Are you happy in your relationship*
*Or*
*I should give you my number?*
15)My biggest fear is to suck small b**bs
what if I swallow it *
16) I told my MUM to buy me dog and she said that she can't train two animals
Wat did she mean?
17)Men are bad, men are not trustworthy. But ur mates are getting married every Saturdays to same men.*
*Ur village witch don finally jam u.*
18) I'm depressed
Someone should talk to me before I drink chilled malt and meat pie
19)please I need a tall, slim, beautiful , pink lips, vibrant shaped gal in this group to please borrow me salt*
20)I'm tired of being single, I'm dressing up tomorrow and going to court tomorrow to see who's getting divorced*
21) Type of Sentence
In an English class...
TEACHER: Mercy swept the whole Compound! What type of sentence is that?
AKPOS: Compound sentence sir!
I can't stop laughing oo
22) Sometimes I shake my head jxt 2 mke sure my brain is still inside. Bcoz anything can happen in this country without anybody noticing.
# simple lhyfe
23)I'm very hard to get"
But Dem use April fool toast you and you say yes. Ode
24)Once an African lady has some nice pictures to post on social media Boom! She becomes a motivational speaker**
25) When I was in school, I thought those who was wearing spectacles they know book ooo. Not knowing they can’t even see anything
26)When yansh & breast no gree grow,*
*They will now start calling themselves MODEL! Keep lying to yourself*
27) You are Slim, your girlfriend is slim, when you both are walking and holding hands, you will be looking like capital letter " H"
28)Did you know that your brain speaks perfect English but your mouth round it off to the nearest nonsense*
29)Never trust people born in MAY as they don't keep to their promises..*
*They MAY do it and they MAY not*

31/05/2021

1)You know say na 1k dey ur account and person post iphone 11pro max for sale...You get mind dey ask how much?*
*Leave W**d you no gree hear*
2) Breaking up doesn’t mean you should stop having S*### with each other , basically it’s the heart that broke not the Ge***al
3)I wonder what NEPA will tell God on Judgement day, Simple instruction let there be light they cannot obey ! *
4)today makes it exactly 2 years and one day that my uncle collected my account number and told me that he was driving*
5)A foolish man complains of his torn pocket while a wise man uses it to scratch his balls.
*
6)Sometimes I wish I was a chicken.. No school, no work, No chores .. just kurukuru and r**e! *
7)Nigeria girls are like NEPA once they give you light ,My brother be expecting crazy bills I advice you to go for prepaid*
8)If you don't know how to toast girl, rest abeg*
*Which one is "Hello lorry can i be your driver" *
9)I can remember when I started this facebook newly...
I will post picture and someone will like without commenting...and I will comment "Thank you....God will strengthen you"
10)If you slap me on my right cheek....I'll turn my left so you can slap that too....
Then we discuss how you want your funeral to be
11) Ladies don't forget to thank the person that made a bra, they made fallen soldiers look like new recruits.
If you know, you know.
12) I don't know the brother I'm prophesying to, but i know you are here. You see that girl you met online and you are planning to send transport money to, so that she can come over this weekend? She'll not come my brother
13)Nobody tells a story better than the one that was not even around when the incident occurred...*
If you know you know
Words
14)Nomatter what the problem is, find food, find a nice quite place and eat well, you'll notice that not even 10% of the problem is actually a problem...*
Words
15)You will be smiling alone thinking about yhur life, someone will just pass with no bra and wipe away memories*
16) You paid 5k to a party just to see wizkid. Wizkid came out and out of excitement you fainted and they carried you away and you ended up missing the whole show...mumu Ewu
17) Please I would need 17 people to volunteer to come to my place and watch a movie with me. I wanted to watch it alone but they said 18 and above...*
18) Portharcourt 2 mins men be like!
Babe,i don't wanna take much of ur time thats y i cm so quick,you know there is curfew in town!
19)I asked google wat year will Nigeria be better than america u won't believe it my phone switched off at 95%*
20)Some girls are like bag of w**d u love her but u can't introduce her to ur parents*
21)Imagine winning a lottery of 200million and Boom*
*Trumpet blow*
*Wat can u do ? *
22)"Community youths wan do election go request for police, DPO tell them to sign undertaken say them go return the police officers unharmed"*
23)Don’t sleep early, yahoo boys will collect your girlfriend.*