Home Of Halal Advice - HOHA

01/04/2024

When I was successful with Taju, I said Alhamdulillah, I have really tried.

As a human not to talk of as a mother, you should know you own nothing in this world, you might own a husband or wife temporary till you have to share, you might own children temporary till you have to share, you might own a property temporary till you have to share to your offsprings, that's to show you that you shouldn't be too attached with anything in this world if not, it will cause you your happiness, your peace, your heart, and your soul.

When you are a parent, have it at the back of your mind that, your children will leave you to be with their families, when you are a sibling, have it at the back of your mind that you will have to depart from your sibling to do what's necessary with your lives.
With this, hatred, jealousy, and enmity won't cross anyone's heart than to wish everyone well.

Before, I use to blame my uncles not helping me because I felt like they have, but didn't help as per how Nigeria families want us to think, then I realized, I am not supposed to even be having such thoughts even if I grow up with such thoughts. For instance, my father married my mum thinking he is man enough, so, is his responsibility to take care of his families from head to toes, not to talk of marrying more than one, he is capable, that's why he married more, so, he should take that responsibilities. Now, my uncles or aunties are siblings, they work with their sweats, they are paid for their working, not my dad's. So, for them to even give out from their wealth is their own choice and if they don't want to give, is their own choice, and if we have to look at something, he or she wasn't the one that bed with my parents, so, why put hatred on children because siblings choose not to help?.

Then, I told myself, I won't train my children that way, I will train them in a way they won't feel is the responsibility of my siblings to take care of them wether dead or alive. It should be my responsibilities or theirs if I am not alive, and if Allah wish, Allah will bestowed to them a giver when they needed it like He had bestowed to me when I needed it, so, hatred wouldn't be on Taju or Mumin because they have and they didn't give, no, they should have that mentality that they, my siblings, have their own responsibilities too, which I their parents might not also be able to handle.

Nowadays, the way Nigeria past parents has manipulated the thinking of children, to that of uncles and aunties, to nephew and everything, the envy and the hatred is uncalled for. This ppl didn't tell you to take a wife or a lover and did not have future plans for them, and most of this people self would have been galavanting their youthful time while the so called siblings that became an uncle or aunties were there struggling with their life to put things together, then later, when that one galavanting with his or her life had issues, they manipulate the kids to hate the one trying his or her best to make something for themselves, causing hatred here and there, haba 🤷🏼‍♀️, who send you In the first place.

A sibling that became an uncle or aunties should want to help willingly with love and care. And, not everyone is a giver, no, someone Allah destined not to give to anyone will never give to anyone, if you like, be dieing in front of them, it doesn't concern them. It takes a good heart to give from their sweat and it's not something we have to hate someone for, not to talk of a mother that trained their child in their shadow, can't give them the freedom to be the man they need to be, to know how to choose and get what they want if it's beneficial for them.

I use to watch comediesp on mother and wife competiting on who to be the one that comes first before the son, making it hard for the son to choose knowing fully well that both are important. How can a mother who has a husband already do that (if you no get husband, is it your daughter in-law fault?, get a husband na😃🤷🏼‍♀️), the day your daughter or your son have been married out, you have no absolute right over their decision with their family if they are doing well, but, if they are not doing well, the only thing you can say is to advice the two, tell mallams or even take them to court to do the right thing, but imposing yourself on your child? You have really failed, and you are one of the problems of the society.
Forget the fact that your parents were like that to you, make changes, not a repetition, it's the cause of most of the infidelity happening today.

Okay, take for instance, you control your son on everything in his marriage but don't want your daughter mother in-law to control your son in-law over your daughter 🤣, dey play my fans 😏. Or, you as a sister, you control your brother over his wife but don't want your husband's sister to control your husband over you, what a nons_ense human beings 🤣🥱.

It's either we get sense or we don't know what's going on. Like me now, I told my brother, Mr man, the day you lay a hand on a lady, as small as I am which I am still your elder sister, I will deal with you. Also, if you want a good future for your daughter, treat someone own right. I have trained my siblings like I will also do with my son. I don't do decision making for them, I accept whatever good they want and correct the bad in it. I let them be a man and also make them know the important of our mother and who their future wife will also be to their children.
They can imagine what he will do to my father if my mother is being treated bad, the same thing will happen to their children. Most might support him but there might be some of them that has sko sko like me that will set him straight, so, to avoid all that, let him respect himself and have sense.

To mothers, I know our children will always look like a baby to us, but please, let them fly, let them breath, let them have the strength you have, let them be able to take over you because you will never always be there, what will then happened?. Train your children to be who work for themselves even if you are not alive, and they need help, Allah will send helpers to them wether from family members or an outsider, whatever happen, they should never hate on anyone because it's your fault not anyone's fault. You bringing them into this world, it's your responsibility not anyone's, but if it's unfortunate on you to need help, let it come from Allah genuinely and let your children still love everyone around them especially concerning financial aspect as it's not other people's responsibility.
And, if any family member do it when you needed, alhamdulillah, if they didn't, alhamdulillah, when there is life, there is hope🤗.

So, I hope and pray every family get better from this mentality, it's disheartening.

30/03/2024

Alhamdulillah
20 down
9-10 to go
May Allah continue to be with us and accept all our deeds as an act of Ibadah
Also accept our Duas too
Time to do night prayer back to back for laylatul Qodr. Time to double our Ibadah too🤓🙃🫶

30/03/2024

MY REPLY ON A POST ABOUT HOW NOW ADAYS IMAM DO RAMADAN LECTURE TO MY SISTERS AS IF WHAT WE SHOULD ONLY BE GOOD AT IS SE_X, NO FUTURE, NOTHING NOTHING, AS NA S_EX TOOL WE BE.

ME:-
If they like
They should continue with all those kinda lectures
I don't even attend so called Islamic lectures again
I rather take my Quran with translation, Hadith with explanation and be reading myself

The mallams of today just want to turn women to something else

That's why I tell all my gender to be wise and know what they are doing
They should learn and become educated

They should know their value and stick to what they want
They should know how to fight for themselves

Nothing like dragging head of the house with them, who that one help

Just have your respect from your man and also have your own self respect

When you have this
Men that will treat you like a s_ex tool or anything else will think twice before that

Always know that, if you are at home with man all the time, they will go and carry working class lady and insult you for just being at home, the one that only eat and nothing else

If you are a working class lady, they will still make an excuse to go and bring someone that stays at home all day, insult you for not being at home to do your wife duties as an excuse

If you requested for money, they will look for someone that isn't requesting and insult you for being too dependant on them as per you are jobless

If you no come ask for money and try to be helpful to him, they will still go and look for someone that is asking him for money down to maggi buying as an excuse that you want to feel you have it all, you want to control him

When you as a woman have all this ideas at the back of your mind
Love and adore yourself
Choose the one that gives you happiness

You are good to go
Whatever anyone is saying is usel_ess
And I meeeeeuuuuve 😎🥱🚶🏽‍♀️

30/03/2024

I finally believe that this two are no longer together because I watched the video the wife did. The fact that the husband made a video then of how he started from scratch when he had nothing and it was his wife that bought the camera he used when she saw his passion for what he was doing. The fact that the wife was supportive and everything till this year that they departed shows you that nothing keeps anyone. The same thing with Yul Edoche with his wife that was with him for so many years especially when he had nothing till he did, the only thing about this two women is that, when they were building the husband, they were building themselves too. Unlike my Nigeria genders🤣🥱🚶🏽‍♀️, na to endure or die in it because say she was there when he had nothing, dey play my fans🤣. Some said it's because they were posting their marriage on social media, it's due to evil eyes, ah ah, my people my people, what about those that don't even operate social media, been together for more than 30 years and still, they divorce 😃🤷🏼‍♀️?.

I use to say it, if you know you can't endure forever with someone, don't waste your precious time with the person for so many years and later departed. The same people that were using this people as their marriage role model are the one against them today. To me, no one is my role model, if you can't be like prophet Muhammad salallahu alaihi wasalam, so his wives especially to his first wife, there is nothing like role model to me. There is endurance in marriage, a time of trial and difficulties but it's on the two, not on one person, not the husband oppressing the wife or vise versa. A trial that one person doesn't have to feel good more than the other because, that's number one problem, for instance, the husband is happy and the wife is not, then, they tell the wife to endure simply because it's not all marriage that is sweet or vise versa, it won't work. But when the trial comes in a situation everyone is unhappy and when happiness comes, everyone is happy, that's trial in marriage to me🤷🏼‍♀️.

Another example is when the two can't bear children, the problem is with the husband, they told the wife to endure and continue praying but if the problem is with the wife, they tell the husband to marry another wife, it will be a blessing to the wife someday, and if later it didn't become a blessing, the wife without a child became a laughing stock among her mates, whereas she knows if she too leave her husband for a better person, she could find happiness. Which kind stup_id trial is that? That only base on one side🤣😃🤷🏼‍♀️. That endurance has to be on one side🤷🏼‍♀️?. Wallahi, the moment you feel discomfort and disloyal against your spouse, or maybe, changed feeling that is really deep, if you did not leave the marriage early, it will only take the grace of God for that marriage to last a life time. I usually wonder, if you can endure for more than a year or two (which in my own dictionary, it's not in it) born more than one child when your brain doesn't want to reset, trying to see if there will be changes which within you, you know there won't be, please, why did you later divorce the person 😃🤷🏼‍♀️. Something wey be say e don tey wey you dey endure, is it now that you can't endure again? Carry your cross na.

And let me tell you now, if you marry someone, the person didn't give you peace of mind, the family has a say on the marriage, your happiness, your freedom depends on your husband and the people around him and you are okay with it, toh, be prepared that you will have to be okay with whatever nons_ense it has to bring later if you did not divorce early, please, be in that marriage forever till Akhiroh, if not, if you are not okay, even a month into the marriage, warn your spouse, if you even do a year, you try, still warn your spouse, if there is no changes after a year, my dear brothers and sisters, divorce the person kia kia, no look back, that's who they are and will continue to be, they will pretend to change for sometimes but let me tell you, after everything have calm down, they will start again.

Do not listen to critics of eh, you that just married, e never reach how many years, you don divorce. Tell the person, eh, thank you🤣😃, he or she is free to marry the person and muuuuueeeeve from there. They said, the person that wears a shoe, knows where it pinches. The same people that are talking will be the one that will still talk when you endure, pray, try to see changes after 15-20 years then later divorce, they will tell you, "what are you looking for again, after how many years you con divorce, kai, you are not ashamed of yourself, after how many children, what are you looking for again?"🤣🤣🤣. So, you see ppl ba? That's how dynamic they are, do what befits you, do what make you happy, if the marriage doesn't give you peace within a short space, how do you think it will give you after a long space🤷🏼‍♀️?. It's the beginning of everything that determine the end. Be wise and do what will give you peace and I meeeeeuuuuve 😎🥱🚶🏽‍♀️.

I don talk am say, if I marry today and divorce next week, I no send any body papa, na my marriage, not your own
If I con marry today, no issues , got old with him, being happy in that marriage from day one till even death, I no send any body papa
I will post and un post. Love and unlove till I find that perfect man. I am not ready for all this stu_pid mentality endurance, if I am not okay with it, I am not okay with it and that's on period or I don't even need that marriage in the first place 🤓🥱😎🚶🏽‍♀️.

30/03/2024

DM

28/03/2024

Since 2012, before I started writing, I use to read alot of stories of different kinds like Islamic stories, secondary school book stories, online marital stories, blog stories, then had the intention to be a good writer like the person I am reading their stories. I remember when I wanted to wish someone birthday then, I literally don't know what to write, I had to browse them on the olden days google, the version you can use button phone to browse on, then I write it in a paper or text the person just to make the person feel special. I continue to read stories, read people, understand people, try to feel what it feels if I am in that person's shoe.

Then, when I had the intention to start writing, I couldn't bring myself because I felt like, no one will love it 🥴, well, I later search for sisters group on Facebook in 2017, joined alot of them but SOJ group was my best then, so, when I saw a post related to what I have studied and read on from anonymous, I gave advice based on the solution to get out of such that's an action and a practice. I started posting there on some of the causes of what's happening and it's possible solution, but I never expected the admins to approve it because we sisters are much on the group. Then, one day, it was approved, I had alot of reaction and critics, smiles, as a new writer, I couldn't stop myself from replying all the critics and trying to make them understand my point. Then one certain time, I posted three episodes on how to deal with a cheating husband in 2018, then, cheating and ungrateful husbands wasn't even much as it is now but I was trying to make my sisters get the point of what's actually happening now. Come and see insult 😫🥴, comments like "you are st_upid, you are this, you are this" almost 80% of the sisters were insulting especially on the last episode of the post when I said, a cheating husband will be a cheating husband and there is nothing you can do about it. Even if you follow all the procedures from the first episode, they will always find an excuse to do what they want, so, as a wife, do the one you can do and leave the rest. Just love Allah and yourself more than anyone. BLA BLA BLA 😃. Omo, come and see, my husband can never cheat on me, my husband is a this, my husband is a that, if I have money, I will that, I will this and that. I was replying them though, trying to let them see where I was going, I wasn't actually telling them their husband will cheat, instead, there is still little out there that won't but they should love themselves more and prepare their self from being hurt when the time comes.

Well, I later had to because of that create Home of Halal Advice then and tell sisters that whoever agrees with my sense of reasoning should join it while those that don't should continue praying that their husband continue to be the best because of how men were being pushed then by their folks and as a competition as if, if they didn't have a concubine, they are not man enough, or, if they didn't cheat, they are not man enough. That's when it becomes a consistency, with time, it becomes a habit for me to always go against men hurting my sisters. Then it becomes who I am today 😁, you can imagine the years I use, so, you should understand now that all I have been typing on marriage isn't because of anything but because of who I have become, because of the years of training, commenting, fighting, posting 🤣, which later become a vawulence 🤪🥱. You can now imagine if a man tries nonsense with me, omo, I will give you time to do your nonsense then be on my way. People like me too don't care about what people say because to us, if we die today, you will blame us, if we live, you will blame us, if we are scared of you, you will blame us, no matter what we do, you will blame us, so, blame us all you can make we meeeeeuuuuve the meeeeeuuuuve. I am now an indabosky bahosa 😎, a writer, I do browse on learning new things but not when it comes to little writings like all this my birthday post, I don pass that one.

When it comes to Islamic, I have also read alot that you can't stand and barb my head on Islamic aspect, that one was inspired by someone who used Islam on me for his own personal benefits. Alhamdulillah, today, na the person make me who I am today according to my level of knowledge. So, to my sisters, you need knowledge and understanding, you need to know how to be strong and fight for yourself sometimes because even your shadow leaves you when it's dark. All that's happening today it's because of our dear soft heart and blinded by what we want to hear not what we want to know or feel, but what a mouth of a man says. No, when someone says, let the person also act on it or the say becomes useless. When someone promise, let the person act on it before you go over hill for such person. When someone offered to help, let that person help before you make yourself available for the person. Just know that alot of people are using what you like to hear to get the better of you. Though, I sometimes leave someone to use just a say on me only when I too have what to repay that person back if the say is different from the action. The person might think he or she is fooling me but don't know we are both fooling each other. Alhamdulillah for the wiseness Allah bestowed to my brain to think broad before anything, though, it's also due to my efforts from alot of bad experience.

And recently, I stopped giving advice to people because I found out that most of my sisters are fund of complaining, need an advice but when you give it to them, before you know it, that same person that treated her bad and still treating her bad become her life and death on an excuse of, what will people say or what about the children. Even, to the point of alot of people saying, if a woman doesn't stay with her husband, endure rubb_ish, the children will not have a blessing 🤣🤣🤣 (mumu), say, na because of that her endurance, Allah will bless those children, you can imagine that mentality 😃. This days, due to all those talks, anonymous about no_nsense husbands behaviors are flying up and down, What do you expect?. It's bound to happen, in as much as we, ourselves are not ready to have sense. So, before you can do anything, always remember this six image.

That's why Allah said, He judged by intentions and not by appearance or how many times someone goes to Makkah, prays etc. So, what's your intention today in your current situation? It will help you in a long way. For mine, never ever will I ever love anyone, not even my son more than Allah and myself, so, whoever is coming to my life that wants to be loved or anything should be careful how they will treat me because I can always shut my heart and turn from loving you with my dear life to hating you with all of me, I meeeeeuuuuve 🥱😃😎🚶🏼‍♀️.

28/03/2024

Omo, I saw this, I love it a thousand times🤗. If only alot of people know this but alot don't understand and I can't explain much.

20/03/2024

Shout out to my newest followers! Excited to have you onboard! Kafilat Salaudeen, Thayibat Shuaib, Umu Anas, Kafayat Oladamade Omobolanle Oyebode

18/03/2024

Humble advice k_ill you there, hindiot🙄.
When I thought I have seen it all, what's all this now, is like some of my female gender, their brain has turned to paper.

Well, go and meet the man that left you in a critical condition, who even after his parents forced him to deny your pregnancy, didn't fought for you and left you alone, radarada.
So, had it been you didn't meet this current man, sufferness finished you and you start begging or maybe enter as_hawo business just to take care of yourself and your baby, shey he will still want an asha_wo back? Like, I don't get 🤷🏼‍♀️.
Well, I said to myself, I am a single mother, not a kill_er or anything, I didn't kill anyone. Alhamdulillah, Allah sees my good heart to have sent my mummies to me and alhamdulillah, I didn't disappoint them. Alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah on that, and In sha Allah, I won't wait for any man to come and take any responsibility that okay o, my ex is back, I want to go back to him or something like that, may Allah forbids.
My own Dua is for Allah to give me money, family and good people, that's all. And if Allah has to bring a man, He should bring someone that didn't meet me in a state that made me need him.

Being single, wether a widow, single mother etc, you need to be prayerful, all this that is happening can happen to you, forget the fact that you have a perfect husband from the beginning, or you have a perfect person , if Allah throws trails to you, you will hear it. But what I want you to understand is, you didn't ki_ll anyone, so, pick yourself up and do what's right.

Don't think all this are forged, no, it's happening and it can happen to anyone. Don't think no, I can not or it can never be me, no no no, you want to try Allah?, smiles, Allah will show you wether you are the God or it's Him. When you see a situation like this, thank Allah and pray against being a victim .

And you men, before helping a woman, wether single, single mother anko, help because of Allah or God, not because you want her to be yours later, to avoid story that touches, so that Allah can send someone to you for your good deeds not because of what you want but because of your good heart. You can imagine if you are the man that help this go_at of a woman, how you will feel, I bet you will so regret it big time because even I as a lady, I am so disgusted by this, so, use your brain.

This woman now might think, he has apologize and sought, he is now living outside the country while this one is living in Nigeria, I can give him money to repay him back for all he has done and to sought himself out and all that but let me tell people like her this, genuine people or person are not bought with money, money can't even pay them.

The owner of this post, you might think his parents forced him, no, he chooses to, nothing like force here, when he was having s_ex with you, was he expecting a lizard or money to come out of it?
Instead of leaving you to travel out as per na you no get future, he get future, can't support you and try by all means to do what's right even if he has to leave later, but no, he did and now that you are living fine, the child has grown he now comes back to beg, wait, you, you didn't ask him which child is he talking about? Was it the one he denied or what? Because you don't get 😃, you too can't say you don't know what he is talking about and the child is not his as per he has also denied that fact. What about his parents, are they dead now? Or they want to acknowledge the child now that he has grown leaving you to take care of the child alone, all by yourself, mtcheew.

Wallahi eh, if you go back to that man, you will hear it 🤓, what you are looking for in Nigeria that you didn't see, you will go and see it in the US. Or your mind didn't tell you that he would have gotten someone better than you outside there and he is just here because of the child, when he has claim rights, you will be gone in a twinkle of an eye, some of you with nothing brain, as per he has travel out of the country now, radarada. Who tells you that if Allah destined this one that helped you when you needed it, won't travel out of the country one day or if he didn't, won't have enough money to take care of you if you support him and his growth, you think traveling out is everything, dey play my fans 🤣🤣, your eyes go soon clear.

At least, you even have someone to run to in Nigeria, who will you run to outside the country?, you will sleep on the street. That sufferness that guy didn't allow you to suffer for you to have sense, you will kukuma learn in the hardest way, an_imal. Mtcheew. 🚶🏼‍♀️🥱🚶🏼‍♀️

18/03/2024

Smiles. I told someone, when somebody becomes my ex, even their existence annoys me talk more of me talking to them, then the person answered that its because I am still in love with the ex, if I am not, there shouldn't be anything wrong with communicating and all that. Within me, I smiled and said to myself, if only you know me.

Now, except there is nothing like s*x between us, if there is anything like s*x between us, and with that, we had a reason to part ways, I know the heart is feeble and Shaiton is always ready but let me tell you now, you will never ever have a way in my life ever again😒 and I meant it. You know why? And why you can't even enter my eyes again😃. Before I gave up on you, I try to hate you to what you did to me, alhamdulillah, most of my ex self, always have that seeing another woman🤣 (a total 100% turn off of my feelings completely to zero even if they later had nothing in common) and lies upon lies.

I will also make sure to hold firm to a saying that, he is only coming back because he sees I am doing well without him. It's either he came back to prevent me from being happy, or he came back because the person he left me for isn't who the person turned out to be, and me, I hate to be a second option for any god damn person🥱. If you leave, try to leave forever. If you stay, try to stay forever or else, nothing, absolutely nothing can ever and ever make me to see you as someone again. Even if that my ex is the only man remaining on this earth for me to marry, I rather become single, successful and happy. Talk more of now that I have a son😎🤣.

So, according to this post, this is for people that always say, there is nothing wrong with talking to an ex and all that especially my female people. Dey play my fans 🤣. Wallahi eh, wether man or woman, ex comes back when they see you are doing well without them, happy and all that, they want to see you miserable like they left you to feel but you didn't, so, it pains them to see you are happy after everything, even some of the ex family will hate you for being happy and tag you as the reason for their son downfall if their son didn't have a future, but if their son has a future, they won't see you as the reason for their son success, radarada🤣.

This are all I keep telling myself that, even if I have a second thought to go back, omo, you sure say no be the baddest he will be when you go back. That's why no matter the sugar quoting an ex can be, e no dey move me, you became an ex, be an ex forever.

So my dear sister of this post, carry your cross. For even having the mind to make him be in a place your husband provided for you, you will surely loss that your husband of yours and go back into the streets, that's, if your ex even wants you. People like you are the one giving people like me insult upon insult, had it been there is nothing like a child or s*x between you two before, you didn't marry, e go better but you married, to a good man fa, and you did this, toh 🚶🏼‍♀️.

From a single mother like you with vawulence 🥱😎🚶🏽‍♀️

14/03/2024

I saw this in a sister group just now
My reply 👇, In case anyone needs it

I had this kinda dream then, even breast feeding a child
Then take in few months later
Just be prayerful

Dreams differs depending on your destiny

If you need a child
Tell Allah to please make it a reality with tahajud

Though I didn't do any prayer because I didn't even see it as anything and I wasn't expecting a child

But still
Alhamdulillah

That's my reply
Do note that
This month is also the month you have to sincerely let Allah see through your heart and be of help to you

Happy Fasting

10/03/2024

If you have questions about taraweeh prayers and others

Try watching all this link videos

https://youtu.be/EWZBN-WwDRQ?si=RqMRcv1bgHqkiiHd

For people like me who can't attend congregation taraweeh prayer

https://youtu.be/p32uKcz2sEM?si=818teGkCTaCTHK90
Differences between night prayers

https://youtu.be/DAuBcLPopOk?si=fyti0JdHzeDrmGkG
How to pray them

Access course materials, Test your knowledge & Get certified for FREE at https://ilmine.illumeacademy.com/courses/operation-hd-fiqh-of-marriage-sh-assim-al-h...