HotKarl604

24/02/2024

24/02/2024

For all you beer drinkers out there, today is 2/24 henceforth known as 2 Two-Four Day. So grab a couple cases of beer, a couple buddies, and give’r like Terry Cahill at a backyard BBQ

24/02/2024

Cheese is just a loaf of milk 🤔

23/02/2024

Last night I went past a cemetery. 3 girls came up to me, they were scared to walk past alone. I agreed to let them walk with me. I said “I understand… I used to be freaked out too when I was alive”. Never seen anyone run that fast before 😂

22/02/2024

Well, I do hate coleslaw 🤷‍♂️

22/02/2024

Me: Bumps a picture frame putting my shoes on
Also Me: Apologizes to picture frame (in whisper voice while shrugging my shoulders)

21/02/2024

Why is tamales pronounced tamales but females is pronounced females instead of females

20/02/2024

So… my invite got lost in the mail or what? 😂

20/02/2024

Today I learned there is a Morehead, Kentucky, and now I want to move there

19/02/2024

Me sorting anything alphabetically (singing the alphabet song in my head)

18/02/2024

Accurate af 😂

18/02/2024

I never think about Reusable bags until I’m walking out the grocery like a juggler on America’s Got Talent

17/02/2024

I don’t always carry all the groceries in one arm, but when I do my keys are always in the other pocket

16/02/2024

Well that’s a relief 😅

16/02/2024

I’m proud to announce that I’ve just released my own fragrance… Nobody in the car seemed to like it 💨

15/02/2024

Took my wife to Subway so I could satisfy her with a footlong for Valentine’s Day 😂

14/02/2024

Welcome to adulthood… Where you’re always tired except when it is time to go to bed 🤷‍♂️

13/02/2024

Overheard a kid today tell his buddy he had to go to a dentist appointment to get his wisdom teeth taken out.. to which his buddy replied “why, gotta make room for more dicks?” and wow, insults have come a really long way since I was a kid 😳

13/02/2024

😂

12/02/2024

This opening act for the Usher concert is bu!!sh!t

11/02/2024

My wife: I need a stud finder (tool)
Me: Hunny, you are a stud finder 😎

10/02/2024

Hey, sorry it took me 6 days to reply to your text, I myself, am understaffed at the moment

09/02/2024

Funny how hotels will charge you $250 for smoking in your room but you can literally j**z on anything you want and there’s no charge 🤷‍♂️

08/02/2024

Why is it called diarrhea and not p**p soup?

07/02/2024

Another one 😂

06/02/2024

I’m sorry, but you can’t always be receiving a higher number of calls.
That’s not how averages work.

05/02/2024

When I see names carved into a tree I don’t think it’s cute, I just think it's strange how many people take knives on a date. 😳

03/02/2024

Nobody:
Children: this thing makes an annoying noise, I better do it over and over until someone notices