04/01/2024
Are you going to be single forever?
BY: KOENA ELLIOT MOKOBOCHO
No one can know for sure, especially in the labyrinth that is modern dating. With the lines of gender roles and sexual boundaries blurring, everyone is doing what works best for their situation. Developing an open mindset can help you navigate the contemporary dating pool and increase your potential for finding a match. This can mean several things: dating outside of your regular circle, exploring new dating styles, downloading a dating app or two, and developing new standards. For some people, it can mean embracing vulnerability and putting themselves out there for the first time.
It can all feel very experimental, with no promise of a desirable outcome. Feeling intimidated and scared is an honest reaction. In the next few lines, we will explore what it takes to catch fish in this brand-new sea.
Cast a wider net.
Seeking familiar dating patterns can feel safe and even healthy sometimes. But why keep doing it if it doesn’t work? Dating all kinds of people besides the ones you normally date improves your chances of finding a partner. You have more options. Variety is the spice of life, for an actual reason. Imagine all the fun you might have experiencing different personalities, learning new ways of thinking, and maybe even picking up a skill or two. You are much more likely to have a desirable outcome if you diversify, and you might even end up with a second date.
Let go of conventional dating standards.
Most people are familiar with the heteronormative style of dating. The premise is that men generally seek out women, ask them out on dates, and, at a later stage, ask for their hand in marriage. That’s not how things work for everyone. If you are waiting for something romantic to happen to you, you may end up waiting forever. Take active control of your love life; set dates, pay the bill that you “shouldn’t” have to pay, and send that dreaded text to ask about creating an opportunity to see each other again. Do not let society define your understanding of relationships; create and live your meaning.
Allow yourself to be vulnerable.
Breaking down walls we worked so hard to build can seem like an impossible task, when in reality it can be an act of transformative change, opening you up to a world you never knew was possible. The issue of trusting someone with your emotions can become very dark very quickly. The most common cause is infidelity. Deception and betrayal can open old wounds, causing trust issues to resurface. However, no one person is the same; it is not every single person who is actively deceitful and untrustworthy.
There are over half a hundred ways you can learn to navigate through the not-so-traditional dating world. Reading comprehensive guides and books on the subject matter can help you gain a deeper understanding and appreciation of the modern world and its quirks. A simple internet search is also a great way to get very specific information quickly.