Iโm a wife, mother and former employee turned leader, entrepreneur and speaker.
Iโm a child of the late 1960โs and that puts me in my 50s.
Iโm happily married and mother to 2 wonderful children, both in their 20s.
I grew up like many people being told to study hard so I could get a good job that gave me a good salary.
I did that diligently and dutifully. I didnโt question anything or anyone.
I used to believe that I shouldnโt be too greedy as my life was nearly perfect.
I was happily married to a man who brought home a steady income. I have 2 beautiful children.
I worked so I have my own money to spend. I didnโt need to support my family.
What more could I ask for?
I was afraid that this pretty scene would be taken away if I hadnโt been contented.
So I put on a social mask that all was good for me. I was on auto-pilot mode and lived in a daze.
It was the same routine, over and over, day after day.
As a child, I was told that โchildren are meant to be seen, not heardโ.
I became a master at playing small. The older I got, the smaller I felt.
I fell into the old and widely accepted paradigm of an arch.
After age 40, I knew I was sliding down a very slippery slope, into oblivionโฆ
The image I had in mind then of a 60-year-old was an image of my great grandmother, in her traditional black pants and blue top. Most unforgettable, is the clip she used to โbunโ whatever hair she had left on her head.
With that image, who wants to be anywhere near 60? Time was passing too quickly as well โฆ
It was then that I met a group of energetic people, and a few are above 50 years old.
They showed me that there was nothing scary about growing older. They maintained an active life.
That was my first experience that showed me truly that age is just a number. Through them I understood why.
They also showed me that itโs a myth when people say they โneed very little to liveโ.
Itโs their excuse to keep themselves contented.
The Egoโs job was to keep us safe! So fear became really big.
For me, I had totally forgotten about myself and I was living for my children and family.
Come on, letโs be honest! After working your butt off for more than 40 years, are you ready to downgrade your standard of living?
Instead of dining at the usual restaurants (not even fine-dining ones), are you prepared to be spending your day in the neighbourhood coffee-shops? And daily conversations include complaining about what the government is doing.
That opened my eyes to reality! Who was I kidding with my socially acceptable answer to that question? I did that so I could stay small and be unnoticed.
And thatโs a term I lovingly use to refer to this stage of my life, after 50.
After the ups and downs of the first two acts (adolescence and middle age), Iโm ready to move on!
It didnโt come easy, trust me.
As I awakened from my stupor, I realised that I had not learnt the lessons that God wanted to teach me.
That was the reason circumstances kept recurring. How could I have been so blind?
Iโd spent years running away from one job to another.
I was infuriated when someone suggested that I could be the one with the problem since I had been the only constant factor in all those situations.
On hindsight, everything is so clear now.
I was so deep in the victim mindset that I couldnโt see clearly.
Iโd allowed the lies and excuses to take over and I didnโt take responsibility for any of my mistake.
I was on auto-pilot and hiding behind that socially acceptable mask.
No wonder I was always angry. I was standing in my own way all that time!
Iโm glad my eyes were opened and I began to live more consciously. No more playing small.
So I released my past and they became reference points or lessons for the future. They donโt determine my future!
All Iโm left to do now is to tie up any unfinished business there is.
And Iโm ready to create my future.
Accordingly, the first leg of journey is covered in my book, Doing Good and Doing Well, The Keys to a Happy and Healthy Life.
You can find out more here.
Following the launch of my book, I created a program to help women who are sick and tired of yoyo results to get their ideal body. Itโs called the Secrets to a LEAN You. If you want to know how this can help, simply schedule a call here.
Now Iโve stepped into another phase of my self-discovery,
I call it My Third Act. It thrives in service from the heart.
I want to start a movement for women 45 and above to deal with the changes in the mind and body as they move towards the silver years with grace and beauty. I will hold the space in love for all the ladies as each discover the experiences that make her unique.
I am a certified MAP (Manifesting All Possibilities) Practitioner. You can find out more about here.
Click here to see how we can be a team.
With Love and Blessings
Adeline Heng
