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17/08/2023

Kuna Mkisii amenipata kwa Hoteli akaitisha watermelon 🍉 na chai☕ Nimecheka 🤣
Karibu Ni mwage Soda yangu na Sukuma
😂👊

KelvKelvin Baha 254aKelvin Baha 254Kelvin Baha 254

15/08/2023

BREAKING NEWS

Watu wako around Thika road Na Kasarani to Kayole na area from nyayo, cabanas mulolongo please kesho stay indoors. Do your shopping today buy food stuff, stock as you can. Na kaa uko na relatives wako side hizo thafadhali help me pass this information wasitoke inje keshoo. Kwasababu kesho nitakua najifunza Kuendesha pikipiki.
Thanks in advance
ENJOY YOUR LUNCH.
Kelvin Baha 254

01/08/2023

The girl I have been treating like an egg, someone fried her yesterday😥😥.

WHY😢😢?

30/07/2023

CARO: kevo deeper please
KEVO: Sasa utanifunza kazi yangu
😂😂😂✔️✔️

29/07/2023

Teacher: mbona umekuja na ugali darasani🤔

Mluhya: si ulisema maswali ya leo itakua mboga😂🤣

03/06/2023

Kimewaramba!

Manchester city 1
Manchester United 0

Within 15 sec 😢

14/05/2023

Ukiajiri house girl...unafaa kuwait for how long ndio umuombee buyu la asali wakati wife akiwa job😋😋😋...

06/05/2023

A graduate in Biology was having
difficulty in finding a job. He saw an advert in one of the daily newspapers for a job at a zoo.🗞️👀
In the interview, the manager told him that their gorilla🦍, which had been a tourists attraction has died so they needed someone to dress up and pretend as a gorilla🦍.

The graduate was embarra$$ed, but since the salary was okay, he accepted the job. The first day, he put on the gorilla skin and entered the cage, he started jumping up and down, beating his chest and roared like a gorilla.

The next day, he put on a gorilla skin and started moving around the zoo ag*in and mistakenly entered another cage and found himself staring at a lion🦁. The lion r0ared and rushed towards him.

The scared graduate quickly forgot that he is a g0rilla and started shouting like a human, 🗣️"Help! Help!" The lion leaped onto him, knocked him to the ground and whispered in his ear👂*Dennis*, it's me Mike, your course mate."

My brother, No job in this country, Infact that croc0dile🐊 in that water is not a crocodilie it is John😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

05/05/2023

Yesterday I went out for a drink,I don't know what I told my fellow drunkards Kila mtu ananiletea CV🧐🤦

Halla me 👉🏽Kelvin Baha 254

05/05/2023

Kuna Hawa madem roho Safi💃💃 ukimuita sleep over anakuja Na fare yake💏 akifika anakuhug🙍🙍 hot kiss💃💃 anakujulia Hali 💏💏 huku amekubebea yoghurt 🍧 ama fruit🍎🍎 .... Dem Hana Maringo🤔🤔 just but friendly ❤️❤️ mnakula fruits mkijuliana hali how you missed each other 💑💑 ... After hapo anakuambia uende uoge🛀🛀 huku yeye anaingia kitchen to prepare a sweet delicious meal🍝🍝 with a sweet aroma💑💑 ukitoka bafu unapata amekutolea your favorite clothes 👖👕🧦 unavaa mnaenda dinning table 🙏🙏 mnaomba then mnakula mnalala 🙏🙏 mkifika bed anakuromance as in unakuwa Kwa moods 😍😍 ya Kula hii🍑🍑 forbidden fruit🤣🤣 unapewa styles zote mpaka unachanganyikiwa❤️❤️ ukichoka anakuride🙏🙏 yaani unafeel ni k**a umemwaga mpaka bone marrow 🤩🤩🤩 ikifika morning anakuoshea vyombo🍶🍴🥄🍽️ nyumba❤️ Na beddings mlilalia😍😍😍 anakuhug before aende🙏🙏.... Ladies is that too hard to do for your man🙏🙏🙏..
🤭🤭Infact natafuta mmoja mwenye tutajaribu hivi 🤣🤣 nani ako ready🙋🏾‍♀️.

Follow me 👉🏽 Kelvin Baha 254Kelvin Baha 254Kelvin Baha 254Kelvin Baha 254

03/05/2023

My Crush called me yesterday 📞

"Hello handsome 🥰, am so hungry right now, please can you come to my house and when coming please buy a big chicken 🐓 so that I can prepare something delicious for us to eat."

Though I was very broke, I looked for where they were selling chicken and bought a big one and went to her house.

She then slaughtered it, cooked only 4 pieces for us to eat and she put the rest inside the fridge.

Just 10 minutes into her cooking, someone called her and she went outside to answer the call.

After receiving the call, she told me that her brother is on the way and she will not like her brother to meet me in the house and that if he meets me, he won't be happy 🙆

So she said I should go, that she will call me when her brother leaves 🤦

So I peacefully went to the saucepan of food, picked the 4 pieces of chicken, opened the fridge, took the rest and went to my house🚶

Since yesterday I have been calling her to know if her brother has left so I can go back but she is not picking my calls 😭😭

My people, did I do anything 🤷🏾‍♂️ wrong???

Baha 254

02/05/2023

*BREAKING NEWS!!!*
*Schools opening dates shifted by 2 weeks.The Minister for Education shifted the 2nd term opening dates by 2 more weeks, a move that was well received by most parents, following the rain havoc in most parts of the country, making roads impassable. Both primary and secondary schools will open on 18th May.
This is according to the Daily Nation...on Wenesday, April 1996 ....niko kwa butchery nasoma gazeti ya kufunga nyama*....

maandamano Tuesday😂
Kelvin Baha 254

18/04/2023

A mother used 2 serve her kids chicken everyday bt the kids got fed up...
Girl: Nitaambia mum aache kupika kuku.
Boy: Kwa nini?
Girl: Nimeanza kumea manyoya huku chini.
Boy: nilidhani ni mimi tu!
Girl: ata wewe? Ona zangu venye ni mob hebu nione zako.
Boy: (pulling his pants down)- ona kazi ya mum na kuku zake daily.
Girll: uuuuuiiiii!!!! g*i!!!!!! yako imezidi!! sii manyoya pekee, naona umemea shingo ya kuku pia.
Boy: hata si shingo pekee, shika usikie mayai mbili hapo chini!!!!!
😂😂

08/03/2023

ukitoka job jioni unakutana na Dem💃🚶Kwa stage Hana fare(makofi tafadhali👏)... Unamuuliza umlipie anakubali mnaingia Kwa matt🚎(makofi tena👏).. mnakaa kiti same then anakuambia amepoteza school fees🥹,unashtuka😳lakini unajikaza kimwanaume(makofi ya uoga👏)
Unamuuliza k**a ataenda kudoz kwako anakumbali mnaenda( makofi Kwa Mkuu👏)
Mnafika Kwa hao anaomba towel na anaenda bafu kuoga(makofi tafadhali 👏)anatoka bafu anakuja mnapika, mnakula alafu mnajitusha Kwa bed(makofi jameni👏🥰🤣)
🌧️kidogo kidogo mvua inaanza kunyesha🌧️(makofi Kwa wingi👏)unaanza kumguza guza mara phaap stima zinapotea fyiuu🌚(makofi wenzangu👏)
Alafu Sasa wapi makofi ya kusoma huu unjinga woote👏👏👏🤣🤣🤣
na Mimi wapi makofi Yangu yakufanya ucheke na ulikua umejam👏👏🤣🤣makofi tena👏👏👏🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
😂😂😂😂..

31/01/2023

I miss those days ungeleta kadem kako kwa Room kanaanza kulia kakiona unafunga mlango.😩😩😩Sahii tuko na akina Habakkuk na Wasadakayo sura za Zakayo 😩💔 😔 Kwanza anafunga mlango mwenyewe akiimba🎶 lero lero ni leroo 🤣😂
😩😩💔💔🚶🚶🚶

Nkt wacha niende hivi nizime hii kitu narudi🚶🚶🚶🚶follw my Page Baha 254

23/01/2023

I no longer hear noises in the streets 😅 Kwani what happened to Kiburi FC? 😂😂💔

20/01/2023

Trio Mio
"KCSE results can't feed me. The grade that I will score will not determine what I eat. For me, I will continue with music because I want to be a better musician, I will now focus on full production. I can do better things, like being a producer just like Boutros. For those who want to continue with school, that's okay,"

-Trio Mio, Young Kenyan Rapper.

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