04/02/2026
Episode 17:
BECAUSE I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE PLANNING TO DO, ON 15TH FEBRUARY, IF YOU DON'T RECEIVE FLOWERS, I KNOW YOU!
Wamama wa hasira, wamama wa kupenda vita, wamama wa nyeri and its environs, wamama wale hasira inapanda k**a pressure, wamama wa anger issues, come infront.
Take a deep breathe. Breath in, breath out. Breath in again, breath out.
Count with me, from 1 -10 and then sit down.
YES I know you come from Nyeri and Kirinyaga where women milk lions while seated on porcupines.
YES I know, you are from Meru where you "gatagata" people and then think about it later.
YES I know, you have never been applied porridge since birth.
YES I know, you don't beg ndurikas.
YES I know you don't nonsense from anyone.
YES I know " ndikwenda ngoma" is your motto.
YES I know, your anger boils from 0 to 100, real quick and when that happens, nobody can tell you anything.
YES I know your great grandmother was a freedom fighter and that spirit keeps on looking for you all the time.
YES I know, you deal with enemies as they come, there and then.
YES I know, when you get angry you shake like those easter twigs used to celebrate the resurrection of son of man.
Girl I know.
Personally, I come from the clan of hyenas, where blood, sugar and salt rise in our bodies at the same time.
But I need you to listen to me,
When someone does you wrong,
and you feel your anger rising like our taxes,
call yourself to an emergency meeting immediately and,
Check your thoughts, check your tongue and check what you write!
This business of threatening to transport people to sayuni with your words of mouth ...receive deliverance. Eti oh, "wewe utanijua wewe, leo utalala montezuma wewe", eti oh, " kesho nakumaliza once and for all", eti oh, "I will silence you", eti oh, " oh nitakukatakata wewe".... my sister, receive deliverance! You know how women travel in a squad to threaten other people.... those squad members will be witnesses, and they will repeat what you said, you will see dim dim!
This business of threatening to transport people to sayuni using your mobile phones...my sister receive deliverance. Those threatening paragraphs you love sending to your Exes, and tushungwas... receive deliverance before it is too late. Investigators will request that green company to confirm who owns the simcard where those messages were sent, green company will even confirm serial number of your phone, whatsapp messages will be printed and you will see bad things, there infront!
My sister, you will be arrested, you will be produced in court and charged with the offence of ' threatening to sayuni people", under the penal code and if found guilty, you can cool porridge, inside kamiti, for 10 years.
So please,
Before you open your mouth, before you make that call, before you send that paragraph, breath in and out, bite your lips, do kegel exercises, listen to Apostle Selman and ask ancestors from your mother's side, to help you, to calm down.
Report your issues at the police station, wacha vitisho!
The only women allowed to threaten others with sayuni transportation are Field Marshall Muthoni Kirima, Lucy of Emilio, Prophetess Syokimau and Wangu Wa Makeri. If you are not any of these women, calm down or cool porridge!
Hio ni Krimino!