Timon musa laboso

11/05/2023

One of the greatest tragedy of being broke is that peoples advices you from an assumptions that you have stopped using your brain

11/05/2023

Full meaning of G.K please??

08/05/2023

My friend lengunya commented on my post pricalia reply to him so to him he does she also replied back nikaona apana so i deleted the post 😃😃

08/05/2023

Allowing your children to support Man Useless issa sign of poor parenting!

Twaaaaaaak Makeeeende

04/05/2023

BREAKING NEWS!!!
Schools opening dates shifted by 2weeks.The Minister for Education shifted the 2nd term opening dates by 2 more weeks, a move that was well received by most parents, following the rain havoc in most parts of the country, making roads impassable. Both primary and secondary schools will open on 18th May. This is according to the Daily Nation...on Wenesday, April 1996 ....niko kwa butchery nasoma gazeti ya kufunga nyama....😂😂😎

12/02/2023

Governor Gorge natembeya man of the match

09/02/2023

Unaenda Churchill show unalipa 1k
Unacheka one hour
Na bangi ni 50bob unacheka week mzima
Tumia akili🤣🤣🤣🤣hope this is fun page

05/02/2023

BLACKS DO IT BETTER

1:The richest person in the history of the earth was Mansa Musa du mali (Black)
2:- The greatest Pop musician was Michael Jackson (Black)
3:-The greatest jazz singer "The famous Aretha Franklin. (Black)
4: - The greatest footballer was Pèle (black)
4:- The biggest boxer was Muhammed Ali (Black)
5: - The biggest and richest golfer is Tiger Woods (Black)
6:- The greatest Basketball player was Michael Jordan (Black)
7:- The biggest runner and only world record is Usain Bolt (Black)
8:-The biggest female tennis player is Serena Williams (Black)
9:- The biggest Hip Hop artist was 2 PAC (Black)
10 -The greatest philosophers were Malcolm X and Martin Luther King Jr (Blacks)
11:- The greatest Reggae artist was Bob Marley (Black)
12:-The most educated President was Robert Mugabe (Black)
13:- The world's greatest President was Nelson Mandela (Black)
14:- the man who successfully carried out the American space shuttle to the moon was called "Arineitwe" a Ugandan (Black)
15:- The most famous of the generals was Colin Luther Powell (Black)
15- The great surgeon in the world is Ben Carson (Black)
16: - The greatest Medical invention .. The revolutionary robot used in brain surgery by the Franco-Beninese Bertin Nahum (Black)
17:-The man who invented, Traffic signals,smoke hood and gas mask, called"Garrett A Morgan Sr, African American(back)
18:-The one who developed Global positioning system (GPS)" DR Gladys B west"African American(Black)
19:- The man who created the first cell phone back in 1971"Henry T Sampson" African American(black)
20:-The woman who invented The 3D movies"Valerie Thomas" African American(Black)
21:-The man who invented, TELEPHONE TRANSMITTER, RAILWAY SYSTEM, SUBWAY SYSTEM,ROLLER COASTER and more" DR Granville T woods" African American(black)
22:-The man who invented, LAWN SPRINKLER"J.W SMITH An African American(black) ETC more.........!!!
Blacks has the oldest and the greatest history.Dont let slavery be the only chapter you.

03/02/2023

THE IRONY OF LIFE!!!!

Did you know that Popcorns are normally fried in the same pot, in the same oil, at the same time and under the same heat conditions, but they do not all pop at the same time.

When flood comes, fish eat ants and when the flood recedes, ants eat fish. Only time matters. To make soap, oil is required. But to clean oil, soap is required.

This is the irony of life. Everybody needs somebody at one point in time. Do not despise or treat anyone with scorn. There is a time for everything and for everyone. Keep trusting and waiting on God. Your time to POP will soon come....mungu ni mwema

02/02/2023

Manchester United

24/01/2023

Current prices for chuma. Contact 0714541065

D8@560
D10@860
D12@1220
D16@2070
D20@3450
D25@5600
D32@11000
Hoop iron@2200
Binding wire@3550
Polythene@2000

BRCs
A610@4500
A66@5500
A98@24000
A142@35000

TUBES
3/4*3/4(16)@775
(18)@550

1*1(16)@960
(18)@655

11/2*1(16)@1230
(18)@830

11/4*11/4(16)@1195
(18)@800

11/2*11/2(16)@1545
(18)@1000

2*1(16@1410
(18)@955

2*2(16)@1925
(18)@1560

3*2(14)@ 3140

3*3(12g)@4690

4*4(10)@ 7640
4*2(12)@40 4430

*Flats*

3/4*1/8@320
3/4*1/4@655
1*1/8@440
11/2*1/8@630
2*1/8@830
1*1/4@830
2*1/4@1750
11/2*1/4@1450

*ANGLELINES*

11/2*1/8@1290
11/2*3/16@ 1630
11/2*11/2*1/4@ 2910
1*1*1/8@780
3/4*3/4*1/8@670
2*2*3/16@2830
2*2*1/4@3625
2*1/8@1910

Zeds
std(3/4) @ 980
1"@1300

TEES
3/4"@720
1"@1000

*Black pipes*

1/2"@840
3/4"@1155
1"@ 1600
11/4@ 2030
11/2"@ 2580
2"@ 3280
21/2"@4720
3"@5350
4"@8830

*Roundpipes*

3/4 (18g)@535
(16g)@765
11/4(18g)@720
(16g)@1070
11/2*38(18g)@840
(16g)@1050
11/2*42(18g)@915
(16g)@1390
2"(18g)@1040
(16g)@ 1580
3"(16g)@2530

* Round Bars*

R16@ 2190
R12@2010
R10@ 930
R8@440
R6@220

*Square bars*

16@ 2190
12@1210
10@1040

Nails ordinary 50kgs@7300
Roofing nails 50kgs @9200

*Wire mesh*

Light gauge@680
Medium @ 850
Heavy@ 1120

*Rods*
Maruthi @ 1250
Golden bridge@1100

Cutting disc@150
Grinding disc@180

Blacksheet 16g @ 4250
18g@2700
14g@6500

Zed purlin 4*2*2 4200

Checker plate @ 6700

*Chicken wire*

3/4@1500
1/2@1650


*Spades*

Imported@750
Local @580

*Wheelbarrows*

Small 2500
Medium 4000
Large 4200

*Barbed wire*

240m@20

23/01/2023

LADIES...

18 Years... I don't date highschool boys

21 Yrs ... I don't date broke guys

22 Yrs ... I can't settle for less I know my worth
23 Years.... pregnant

25yrs ... My child my everything,I love the woman I'm becoming

27 yrs ... Men aren't dogs,you can get one and love him

30yrs... We nolonger go for looks we go for peace,loyalty and maturity

33yrs...only a real and mature man will love you and your child like his own

35 yrs ... PATANISHO Am Edina from Kakamega with 2 kids looking for any man who can marry me I'm hardworking and God fearing woman

At 40yrs...Me sahii nkipata mubaba
yoyote naolewa, Bora awe anapumu..a😂😂😂....
At 41.. Nani ako na namba za Pastor Ezekiel? Aki nataka aniombee nipate bwa....
Naenda kuvuta ingine narudi wakuu 🏃🏽‍♀️🏃🏽‍♀️🏃🏽‍♀️
Follow Timon musa laboso

23/01/2023

After President Ruto finishes his two term this 'll be the new line up
Rigathi gachagua President
Wiclife musalia mudavadi deputy president
Onesmus kipchumba murkomen prime minister 🤔🤔waah hii kenya iko na wenyewe

23/01/2023

Raila Odinga: Kila mara (Rigathi Gachagua) anatishia eti yeye ni mtoto wa Mau Mau. Nataka kuambia yeye, alikua hajazaliwa. Yule ambaye alitetea Mau Mau kutoka jela ni Jaramogi Oginga Odinga. Huyu kijana Gachagua hajui pale tumetoka. Hata baba yake alikua hawezinitisha mimi. Mimi nilifungwa jela mara tatu. Mimi si rika yake kimaisha na hata kisiasa. Nataka kuambia Ruto na Gachagua waache upuzi, Kenya si yao.

04/01/2023

What We Know of the HELB fiasco so far!

The government is in a Process of laying the groundwork for a revolution in the education sector.

President Ruto promised to abolish Helb and TVET funding and to establish national skills and funding council to connect the two levels in order to provide a credit transfer framework and to support academic progression.

The National Education Fund which will replace HELB, will mobilise grants, bursaries, and scholarships from private and public sponsors to cover non-tuition costs.

This will double the current Higher Education Loans Board funding from Sh11 billion to Sh22 billion and eliminate interest on Helb loans.

While ringing in the New Year at State House in Mombasa, Ruto said the government intends to invest more money in the sector to give it new life.

He also proposed establishing a public university and increasing the number of technical universities from three to eight across the eight regions from the current three.

Universities will be forced to focus on their comparative advantage in education.

“For example, the universities in Mombasa should have courses that focus on the blue economy while those in Turkana will focus on mining.”

11/11/2022

*UNIVERSITY OF MARRIAGE FINAL YEAR MATHS EXAMS*

*Time*: *3Hrs 30MINS*

*INSTRUCTIONS:*
1 *_ATTEMPT ALL QUESTIONS_*

2 *_ALL QUESTIONS CARRY EQUAL MARKS_*

*1.* You are a married man and you have dated somebody's wife for *two* years, busy spending on her like there is no tomorrow. eventually she drops you and concentrates on her innocent husband. Calculate the percentage of time wasted. *(20 marks)*

*2.* You bought a phone for your friend's wife and she gave it to her husband. Using trigonometric identities, derive a general formula for this type of love. *(20 marks)*

*3. For Men* You're dating around 15 ladies and every lady is demanding for a Samsung Galaxy and an iPhone 6s
*(a)* Plot a graph of detoothers against prices of phones. *(15marks)*
*(b)* Use your graph to estimate your future poverty *(5marks)*
*(c)* Plot the percentage shame against volume of apologies to your family members. *(5 Mks)*

*4.* You are whatsapping and facebooking other people's wives yet you don't want to see your wife on the social network. Calculate the Percentage Error in your thinking capacity. *(20 marks)*

*5.* You are a *civil servant*, your wife is a petty trader, your combined household income is less than N1,000,000. Your daughter who is awaiting *WASSCE* result is using iPhone 6s and Samsung Galaxy worth N700,000 each. Calculate the Percentage of your Parental Negligence. *(20 marks)*

*6. *For ladies* You're a married woman and you have dated 20 guys with hard labour, use the law of diminishing Return to calculate the substance that will be left for your husband to enjoy. *(20 marks)*

*7.* You can't give your wife N10,000 for a pot of soup, but you spend over N50,000 in bars and restaurant.
Calculate the radius of your 'stupidity', take π=3.142 *(20 marks)*

8.* You have been in the church and in your fellowship for years but your name is not in the book of LIFE because of the secret sin(Rev20:15). Calculate the years you will spend in HELL? (30 mark)

10/11/2022

A Kikuyu grandma was totally surprised after laying her eyes on and tasting a cake that looked like a traditional basket (kiondo).

The granny insisted that the basket-like cake wasn't a cake, but when she touched it, its 'handle' peeled off.

The granny's son told her to taste it, and she fainted after realising it was a real cake.

03/08/2022

An Aeroplane cleaner called Jeremiah was cleaning the Pilot's cockpit, when he saw a book titled, "HOW TO FLY AN AEROPLANE FOR BEGINNERS.

He opened the first page which said, "To start the engine, press the red button🔴, he did so, and the airplane engine started.

He was happy and opened the next page, "To get the airplane moving, so he continued reading then he saw "press the blue button🔵" He did so, and the plane started moving at an amazing speed 🛫

He wanted to fly, so he opened the third page 📖 which said, "To let the airplane fly, please press the black button ⚫" He did so and the plane started to fly ✈

He was excited, After twenty 20 minutes of flying, he was satisfied, and wanted to land, so he decided to go to the fourth page.

But page four says, "To be able to know how to land a plane, please purchase Second book at the nearest book shop 🙆‍♀️🙆‍♂️

Jeremiah's burial is tomorrow 😔 🙄🙄🙄🙆🙆🙆

22/07/2022

lets make it great by robustly liking destined for cohesive 💪💪

Send a message to learn more

22/07/2022

Kuna mama alikuwa anapenda kununua nguo kila siku so msichana wake akamuuliza "mum mbona wewe hununua nguo kila siku 🤔?".mum akamwambia"Ni pesa zangu naweza fanyia chenye nataka 😞😞". 2 days later mama akanunulia msichana wake dolly, next day mtoto akavunja mkono wa dolly, mama akamuuliza "mbona umevunja mkono wa dolly?" Msichana akamwambia" Dolly Ni yangu Na naweza fanyia chenye nataka nkt 😞". Hasubui yenye ilifuata Tena akavunja mkono ingine, Mum Akauliza "mbona umevunja mkono wa dolly 😞?". msichana akamwambia"Dolly Ni yangu Na naweza fanyia chenye nataka". Next morning akavunja mkono ingine,mum akamuuliza "mbona umevunja". msichana akamwambia "Dolly Ni yangu Na naweza fanyia chenye nataka 😞" next morning Tena akavunja mkono ingine... najua unajiuliza kwani dolly iko Na mikono ngapi? Bro au Siz hii story Ni yangu Na naweza fanyia chenye nataka. Najua umekasirika but uso Na Moyo Ni yako unaweza pia unaezafanyia chenye unataka 😂😂😆😆😂😂😂😆😆😂🚶🚶

15/07/2022

RULES OF FOOTBALL WHEN WE WERE KIDS, BACK IN 90'S.
🤣😂😅


RULE 1
The fat kid was always the goalkeeper. 🤪

RULE 2
The owner of the ball decides who plays. 😇

RULE 3
The one who is not picked was responsible to fetch the ball when it got out of play in order to play the next game. 🤭

RULE 4
When the owner of the ball got annoyed, it's game over. 😏

RULE 5
When you hit your toes against a stone and you noticed blood, you quickly cover the area of injury with sand as a form of first aid and play continues. 😉😉😉

RULE 6
You can't dribble the owner of the ball too much, this may lead him to stop the game by taking away his ball. 😀😆😆

RULE 7
No offsides and there was no referee.👍🏽👍🏽

RULE 8
There is foul only if you fell and plenty of dust arise. 🤣

RULE 9
The owner of the ball is always mean 🙄and no one should comment about it or else game over.🤨🤨

RULE 10
The two best players can not play in the same team, so they challenge themselves and pick others. ⚽😆

RULE 11
If you are chosen last it means you are not good and you will remain in defense. 🤭

RULE 12
The best player is always in the same team with the owner of the ball. 😂👍🏽

RULE 13
To distinguish the two teams, one of the teams pulls off their shirts. 👕

RULE 14
There is always a house which when the ball fell in there, we knew game is over. So be careful!! ❌

RULE 15
Game will only be over when it is dark and we could barely see the ball. 😳

*Then, we all disperse in groups teasing one another until we get home to face another punishment by our parents.* 🧑🏽👨🏽

Chai🤔 We really enjoyed our childhood. If you are not one of us as described above , then you belong to another generation! In another world. LIVE LONG FOOTBALL LEGENDS OF OUR TIME 💪💪

11/07/2022

FINAL EXAM PAPER for LAW STUDENTS

Q5. A Woman was driving a Vitz car along Kisumu➡Busia road. She mistakenly hit a Mercedes Benz car at Buyangu Junction while turning to Butere.

The lady came out from her Mercedes Benz, insulting the other lady for not being careful, asking her to repair her Mercedes Benz car.

The Vitz car Woman called her husband, He replied, "I am very busy mama Jane, please try to fix up the matter by yourself"

The Mercedes Benz lady called her Boyfriend and said "Sweetheart, someone just hit the Birthday Gift you gave me, I am so angry, please come over.."

Few minutes later her Boyfriend arrived. He is the husband to the lady with the Vitz car!

Discuss the possible legal consequences for all 3 parties.. (50 Marks)
Discuss in groups
We will mark tomorrow morning.

09/07/2022

If a Kikuyu, Luo, Kalenjin and Luhya were all to be employed on the same day at the same organization say Kenya Ports Authority, Mombasa and you visited them after 10 years, this is what you would find:

KIKUYU
-Living in his own house in Mombasa; family living in Mombasa; happily settled at coast
-Has rental houses, matatu in Mombasa
-Owns a small car 1300cc EFI
-Meets a friend at a local cheap bar for nyama choma and one or two beers discussing business

LUO
-Living in a big expensive rented house.
-Has a big car 4000cc petrol on loan.
-Family living in Mombasa
-No investments; Thinks of investing back home but fears being bewitched
-Leader of KPA trade Union;
Always complaining, agitating for fairness/equitable distribution of resources
-Believes Kikuyu's are thieves
-Meets ten friends in a pub with loud music each person has six beers waiting to be drunk and politicking.

KALENJIN
-Family living in Kericho while he works in Mombasa; wishes there was a Port in Kericho so that he could be nearer home
-Has small car 1300cc which is in Kericho
-Has bought a small farm in Kericho
-Drinks beer/choma alone or with fellow clansmen and usually less discussions

LUHYA
-Has 2 wives; one in Bungoma, other in Mombasa
-Hopes to get a Luhya MD to give him promotion to ease burden of 2 families
-No investments. Beer/Choma, Lingala music and a sweet sixteen girls are his favorite.
-Amazed by Kikuyu's success.