26/12/2024
Guys i just bumped into my first wife. And she reminded me of our divorce.
Wait! You didn't know I was married before? No?
Ok, lemmie beat you my story 😂😂😂
So when i was 14yrs old my mother saw me kissing this other girl, we shall call her Mercy. I didn't notice that my mother had noticed anything.
When i got home my mother asked me to accompany her, so we walked to the other neighborhood which Mercie lived in.
We were approaching Mercie's gate when i asked her what we wanted there, she said we going to collect something.
Well, i suspected nothing so we walked into the yard.
We walked, passed Mercie who was washing her school shirt and socks by the outside tap.
As we sat on the couch inside with Mercie's mother sitting across us, my mother got down to business.
I wish i could type what she said in kipsigis.
She was like "jirani, so i'm getting off a matatu when i threw my eyes across the road, your daughter and my son are locking tongues."
Mercie mother was like "My friend what are you telling me?"
Then she called Mercy into the house.
She came in and sat next to her mother. Her mother went "Eeeh girl, you dont tell me that you have a man?... Meet your mother in-law."
All Mercy could do was look down.
Her mother pinched her thigh she screamed!
Her mother then looked at me and said" So, my son in-law, where do you work and how much do you earn?.... When are you planing to pay brideprice?.. When are you planning to take your wife and move into your house because there can't be two women living under my roof?"
..eish...i just kept quiet, the next thing i had a slap from my mom then she shouted" Answer! "
Heck! I had to pick up my ear on the ground and put it back.
Then Ma Mercy made Mercy fetch her teddy bear.
She said" So since you two have decided to do grown up things, this is your child, you will share custody of this bear, you will share custody fairly, should anything happen to this bear, you will know us.
Mercies's mum was a teacher, i think i know what kind of a teacher she was.
Mercy was a crazy mother!!! Can you imagine she would bring the child to me while im playing soccer in the streets just because she wanted to go play skipping with her friends and we would fight, then she would put the child on the fence and go. The child would get hit by the ball because her mother left her on the fence.
That day i got home with a dirty child, my mom made me wash it with warm water, sunlight, and a scrubbing brush.
She then put her elbow in the water to test its temperature then slapped me on the back of my head like Junior from the comedy "my wife and kids" while screaming
"this water is to hot to bath a child." ...
One Saturday morning Mercy had gone to town with her mother so i asked my mom to babysit for me so i can go play soccer.
she said "i will babysit for you, but you not going to play, you going to help John clean the garden, you are a parent now, you must act like one and work for your child."
John was the neighborhood gardener who did my mother's garden as well.
Then she took me outside to the garden and asked John to gimme a job, the pain of cutting grass while my friends were playing soccer in the street killed me.... John paid me 500..at least i was happy untill my mother said
" boy you better not spend that money and give it to your wife so she can buy things for your child. "
Finally my wife and her mother came over to fetch the baby and i gave her the money...that Saturday i saw her eating chocolates, i went to tell my mother that Mercy is eating the child's money.
she said" Keep me out of your merital affairs please. If you tell your mother about what your wife is doing, you will make your mother resent your wife because women are emotional creatures. Go find a group of married men like you and talk to them, you will find a solution"...
I was so confused ......
Sunday afternoon i saw with a mark on her foot, her mother had beaten her for forgetting the child behind the house.
We had a long talk and decided on a divorce, we called a family meeting during the week and told our parents we can't do this anymore, they said what about the child, i told them its not a real child, i got a slap on the back of my head from my mom. So they let us go.
Our parents remained close friends but as for us, from that day, we never spoke to each other for years, then her family moved. She tells me she has three kids with her husband and tells me her mother passed on last year.
We told her husband the story and he couldn't stop laughing.
But african mothers are abusive!!
Whenever i see a teddy bear, i get annoyed.
Ma 2000 and the rest, when we warn you about things, listen!! We have been your age and we were rescued from our stupidity.
