Turkland Tiger

08/10/2022

No one is coming to save you. This life is 100% your responsibility.

07/10/2022

Utamu wa pombe🍷 ni kushikwa na makarau 😹😹🚶🏃🚴

07/10/2022

😂😂Apart from kunywa maji na jug ni freedom gani ingine unakuanga
nayo ukiwa pekee yako home? Hebu tembelea👉26 Mzizi Court 😁😁

06/10/2022

What was your primary school motto?

27/09/2022

Superhero flying and landing without using green screen effect.

22/09/2022

22/09/2022

Before urogwe ulikua unataka kukua nani in future?😹😹😹

27/08/2022

Na kumbe hizi emoji usoma vowels 😹
😂-a
😃-e
😁-i
😮-o
😯-u

26/08/2022

Some people will never support you because they are afraid of who you might become.

One day your success will shock those who laughed at you. Keep fighting. DON’T QUIT
Please follow Turkland Tiger

22/08/2022

HOW TO IDENTIFY CHELSEA FANS ON SOCIAL MEDIA AND IN PUBLIC.
1. Always claiming to be football experts meanwhile they're football illiterates
2. They'll still argue with you when they are wrong even with your facts.
3. They'll call other clubs achievement "history" meanwhile their Champions league victory in 2021 is present tenses
4. They can never reply a comment without insults
5. 90% of their fans don't know who wore the number 8 for their club in 2015
6. 90% of their fans don't even know the difference between "Willian" and "William"
7. 90 of their fans don't know the difference between "Fan" and "Fans" e.g I'm a Chelsea Fans
8. They cause troubles in viewing centres than any other club fans
9. 90% of their discussion will always include " in the past 10 years"
10. They'll always use their club Jersey for Farm works, pit digging works, even robbery; no respect to the logo on it
11. They'll always pick their team in every of their betting slips as straight win, if match didn't go as planned, bye bye to thousands of money.
12. 90% of their Facebook fans were all born after year 2000
13. They'll always support any team that plays against Manchester United
14. 90% of their fans don't know their football club anthem
15. 90% of their fans believed football started in 2015
16. They prefer to use Messi as a tool to mock Ronaldo rather than shamefully using one of their own legends
17. 90% of them are always vicious after they lose a game, so better avoid them that period, to avoid "Had I Know"
18. When you see an Okada man "motorcyclist" shout gooooall with his 59 size trousers on top pajamas, know that he's a real Chelsea fan.
19. They've forgot so quickly that Liverpool are currently Carabao cup champions, and scientists are still searching for Kepa's Ball.
20. 90% of them prefers to use the bush to poo, rather than the modern water system toilet
21. Any player that Joins their club automatically turns to a world class player in the eyes of their fans.

22/08/2022

English Premier League officials have drafted some rules to protect Manchester United to survive the relegation.

1) Eric Ten hag will be allowed to field 13 players at once and 7 substitutes.

2) manchester united will be awarded a free penalty at every match.

3)The Bt sport technicians are cautioned to avoid highlighting an manchester united goal as this will be regarded as scores.

4) manchester united will be awarded 1 point for a lose, 3points for a draw and 6 points for win.

5)Any attempt to tackle Rashford, Sancho, Maguire and Ronaldo will result to a straight red card +penalty regardless to the place the tackle took place.

6)Teams like Chelsea, Man City, Arsenal, Liverpool will be only allowed to field 10 players with no substitutes when playing against manchester united.

7)kdb, Gabriel jesus, Kane, Havertz, Kante, Salah, Martinelli and other EPL stars are banned to play against manchester united until further notice.
Follow Turkland Tiger please 🙏 guys

21/08/2022

K**a kiberiti ni rhino, unga ni ndovu, sufuria ni simba 🤣🤣🤣 Bwanako ni fisi uoni K**a unaishi game park 🤣

19/08/2022

Ushai kaa chini ukajiuliza mbona salon za wanawake hazinanga redio....
🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔

08/08/2022

When you die,

It’s your village which will sit and plan your funeral,

It’s the village women who will fetch water from the river,

It’s your village mates that will dig your grave,

It’s them village boys that will hold the spade and fill your grave,

We,

Your boys club or girls club, will hold a handful soil and drop it down the grave and go wash our hands.

Take selfies and caption them; Heaven received an Angel, Go well my friend, I can’t believe you are gone .....

With your eulogy booklet and a customized water bottle in our hands, we will leave before a last prayer is said.

Dear Human,

When you can, Fix Your People.

Connect homies with jobs,

Fix water for them,

Support community initiative, school fee here or a medical bill there,

If you can, please fix that road that leads home.

Be present,

Empower Home.

They matter most.
Follow Turkland Tiger

05/08/2022

Seven Facts About F***ing

1. F***ing twice a week
is good for your health.

2. F***ing gives proper relaxation for your mind
and body.

3. F***ing refreshes you.

4. After f***ing don't eat too much; go for more liquids.

5. When f***ing try to stay in bed because it can save you valuable energy.

6. F***ing can even reduce your cholesterol level.

7. F***ing makes you more committed and you can be sensitive and receive from above

SO REMEMBER - *FASTING* is good for your health.

May The Almighty cleanse your Dirty Mind if u were thinking of something else😹😹

Bless me with a FOLLOW 👉 TurTurkland TigergTurkland Tigery God bless you 💜💙🙏

03/08/2022

Chemistry was one hell subject!!!😂😂😂
Unaingia exam room unapata Q1 hujawai sikia tangu form one😂😂unaenda Q2,unapata inasema explain your answer in Q1above!!!👀unaisha na nguvu unasonga Q3,,kumbe inasema discuss your answer in Q2😲unangalia wenye wako around unaona huwezi discuss nao coz index number yao ni mbaya afadhali yako😂unaenda Q4 wanauliza types of bonds na zenye unajua ni Eurobond na james bond pekee😂unauma kalamu😎kidogo chopi anaendea extra paper unashindwa ni kurogwa ama nini?😂kabla huyo kuketi mwingine anasimama na kusema Q7 iko na shida na hio pekee ndio ulicalculate ukapata 0.076456 unaamua kulalia meza😇na unaota kuna uncle wako ako jeshi atakuorganizia uingie after chuo😂😂unaamka ghafla unakumbuka uncle wako ni jeshi la wokovu🤣🤣🤣sema 🏃🏃🏃😅😅😅

Turkland Tiger
Tiger

02/08/2022

Ebu andika place unaishi na Shembeteng😂Ebu wacha tuone vituko😂😂😂🖐