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Tsar Kevin, Kisumu (2024)

09/12/2024

AVOID THIS TYPE OF RELATIONSHIP
1. You should avoid a relationship that is based on s*x alone. It has no future. If all you do is to sleep with each other instead of
discussing things that will benefit your life then that relationship is a waste of time and destiny.
2. Avoid any relationship that has no direction, purpose or aim.
3. Avoid any relationship that doesn't add any positive impact on your life.
4. Run away from any relationship that gives you more sorrows than joy.
5. Run away from any relationship that makes you cry or gives you more tears and cry than laughter.
6. Do not stay in a relationship where you love someone but the person makes you unhappy many times.
7. When you see signs that a relationship can't work, don't try to make it work. IT JUST CAN'T WORK. There is no need remaining in such r/shp. Flee from it.
8. Avoid any relationship where you find yourself struggling to love your partner.
9. Avoid any relationship where you are caged or restricted from enjoying your basic fundamental human rights.
10. Most importantly and above all. Avoid any relationship that will keep you far away from God.
Tsar Kevin

08/12/2024

Most graduates won't like this post, because it's the bitter truth.

Highly educated unemployed youth should remember one thing.... 🤔

You can become a bike mechanic in 6 months.

You can become a car mechanic in 6 months.

You can become a bicycle mechanic in 6 months.

You can learn beekeeping in 6 months.

You can learn tailoring in 6 months.

You can learn dairy farming in 6 months.

You can learn the work of a confectioner in 6 months.

You can learn home electrical wiring in 6 months.

You can learn the work of a home plumber in 6 months.

You can learn mobile repairing in 6 months.

You can learn to make shoes in 6 months.

You can learn to make doors in 6 months.

You can learn welding work in 6 months.

You can learn to make clay pots in 6 months.

You can learn house masonry in 6 months.

You can learn yoga in 6 months.

You can learn mushroom farming in 6 months.

You can learn hair cutting in 6 months.

In 6 months you can learn many things that will not let your family sleep hun-gry.

Today the most unhappy people in the world could be categorized as those who are unemployed despite being highly educated.

The education which cannot provide you employment is of no use.

Being highly educated does not matter for you to merit an employment.

Think for yourself. Skill pays the bill and brings food to the table.
TTsar Kevin

08/12/2024

11 RULES OF S*X DURING DATING.

1. Don't sleep with a woman on the first day of seeing her naked body. Create an emergency and stop.

2. Don't sleep in a woman's house, whether it is your first night with her or the second or the last. Sleeping in her house is losing your power and control.

3. Use a condom on the first s*x attempt. Use a condom every day you have s*x until the day you decide to marry her. This is a MUST. Don't compromise on this.

4. The first s*x should be during the daytime. This allows you to understand her s*xual health and nature.

5. Talk vulgar deliberately. If she responds with vulgarity. End the relationship.

6. No s*x messages on WhatsApp or text. No nudes. Your inbox should always be as clean as a whistle.

7. Have a HIV test together as early as possible in the relationship. Remember, this is not a ticket for raw s*x. Some tests can turn out negative because of HIV treatment. This is called a false negative.

8. Find out if she is on any medication. Don't be a fool. Ask. Research.

9. If there is malodorous discharge on the condom, reprimand her. If there are traces of blood on the condom sheath, reprimand her. Don't be in a relationship with a woman who does not take care of her vag!nal health.

10. Know her menstrual cycle. This will save you from being a slave of the state.

11. Take care of your pen!s. This is your manhood. Don't sleep with anything in a skirt. Love Life Matters
Tsar Kevin

26/11/2024

AFTER S*X.

Most times, women feel more wanted before s*x and feel rejected after s*x. How the man treats her after the action makes the whole difference. Dear men, make that babe feel wanted and loved. Treat her like a queen.

1. Don't pull out of her immediately after Cu***ng. Don't be in a hurry to pull out. Stay in for a while, feel her warmth, let her feel your presence in her life. Talk dirty into her ears while there.

2. Play with her hair, hands, fingers etc. She will never forget you.

3. Tell her how sweet she was and how much you want her again and again.

4. Look into her eyes and tell her how much you love her.

5. Cuddle her sweaty body, draw her closer, let her skin and yours be glued together.

6. While you're still inside the headquarter while talking, your chief of staff or microphone can grow hard and strong again. Start the second round immediately

After the second round, take her to the bathroom, you can do the third one there and finally carry her back to the bedroom. Where both of you should sleep soundly in each other's arms.
This night will be so sweet. Such a lady will be yours forever. 👌👌👌
TsaTsar Kevin

24/11/2024

LUOS AND ASSIMILATED LUO

There are two ways of being Luo: -
1. Paternal lineage to the primary Luo Cluster of Clans and Clans.
2. Paternal assimilation up to the 33rd generation.

But to belong to the Luo family, also entails being children of aunties and sisters married outside the Luo community and wives married into Luo Clans from other communities.

Most original Luos know their extended families (Anyuola), lineage (Dhoudi), Clans (Oganda) very well because Luo heirschy is very clear and strict. Those of a simulated Bantu groups find it difficult to trace their roots and fit. This is because most Bantus don't have strict Clan based hierarchy as Nilotes who have clear and distinct structure right to Clusters of Clans.

I therefore outline the various Luo Clans. The list is only comprehensive as far as Kenya is concerned.

1. Tekidi (Jo-ka-Jok, Joka-Omollo, Joka-Owiny):
Tekidi was an essential settlement for the Luo people after leaving Dog Nam.

(a) Jo-ka-Jok
1. Karachuonyo. (Chwanya)
2. Kasipul (Chwanya)
3. Kabondo (Chwanya)
4. Kabuoch (Chwanya)
5. Kanyamwa (Chwanya)
6. Karungu (Chwanya)
7. Kadem (Chwanya)
8. Alego (Julu, Seje and Nyajuok sub-clans. Alego later swallowed other non-Jok clans).
9.Oywa clan of Nyakach.
10.Owidi clan of Kisumu.
11. Jo-Padhola (this is in Uganda, the only Jo-ka-Jok group "left" behind)
12. Some Seme groups.

Luo groups that moved with Jo-ka-Jok.
12. Kano
13. Other Nyakach Clans
14. Kanyamkago

(b) Joka-Omollo / Gem and Ugenya(Kenya only)

1. Puny Clan: Settled in Mwer and Uhui.
2. Kagan
3. Kochia
4. Kanyada
5. Tewno (Uburi, Udogo, and Wamari, who are now assimilated into Samia)
6.Ragak (now Kakan people in Alego). They are notable as
7. Kager/Wiljak: ( Umira, Uhore, Kawagor, Kawuor, and Kogola) .
8. Teg/Gangu and Uhui.
9. Gem
10. Kanyidoto
* After the Alego kingdom fell, many became assimilated into Luhyia.
Kevin Ochieng Mcabayo

27/10/2024

Those who enjoyed free calls and bundles to be deducted directly from Mpesa. peter Ndegwa, Safaricom CEO

15/08/2024

REQUIREMENTS TO JOIN KDF.

1. Original ID.

2. Birth Certificate.

3. KCSE Certificate.

4. Certificate Of Good Conduct though it is not necessary but it will be added advantage to you.

5. K.R.A Pin Certificate.

6.Other Certificates i.e (Diploma or Death Certificate Of Parents 'In case You're An Orphan'

7. Must Be A Kenyan Citizen.

8. Must Be Of Age Between 18 - 26 Years.

9. Must Have No Any Criminal Record.

10. Must Be Physically Fit.

11. KCSE Mean Grade D (Plain) And Above.

12. Minimum Height For Both Men And Women:
5 Feets.

13. Minimum Weight For Men:
54.5kgs.

14. Minimum Weight For Women:
50kgs.

15. Any Serious Injury In The Body,, with Tatoo Automatically You're Disqualified.

16. Ladies Should Not Be Pregnant At The Beginning Or During The Process Of Training.

RECRUITMENT BEGINS 26TH AUGUST

26/07/2024

AFTERNOON JOKES 😂

1. I Saw a Science Student Crying
Me: What's The Matter☹️
Her: Matter is Anything That Occupies space and Has Mass
🚶I just left

2.BREAKING NEWS
A baby was born laughing
With 4 abortion pills in his hands
🙆

3.Married men will be watching football at a bar with their side chick and💁 still screaming that the referee is cheating

4.I hate talking to Indian's, especially those with Red dot on their forehead😂I think they are recording
🏃

5.When relationship is new 🤣
Boys will be like "babe have you eaten tomorrow"
🤭

6.Being an African man is so cool. You refuse to give your relatives money they blame your wife
😂💔

7.I hate people who make jokes about short pple🤧Do you know that short people can sweep the floor without bending

8.My roommate stole my girlfriend's contact from my phone🤧the idiot is sending love messages to his own sister

10Na you rüsh go prømise your papa fïrst cläss & 8A’s 🙄...
* Me I ønly prømise dem say “I NO GO JOÏN ÇULT * 🥲😂

11.Guys be carefül out therë if your gïrlfriend tëlls you to go with her thät her parënts wänt to meët you‚ no greë oo na bag of rice you wan go büy likë thät 😒😂

12.Biology teaçher: Whät cän be føund in a çell ?
Baçk bençhers: Prisonërs
Teaçher: Gët out of my cläss. 😂😂

13.Withøut lashës møst of y’all loøk likë thïs: “🌝” 😂

14.Imaginë livïng aløñe‚ At nïght you were bathïng withøut light and your soäp fälls to the grøund‚ you triëd to piçk it üp but becausë of darknëss you couldn’t fïnd it‚ jüst then...a händ tappëd you and handëd you the soäp. Whät wïll you do ?
Faintïng is alløwed... 😂

15. You are trying to go without reacting 🙄 heaven is far from you 😏🤦

08/07/2024

WHAT TURNS A WOMAN ON:

1. LOVE
The strongest aphrodisiac is love. When a woman loves a man her s*xuality is let loose, just thinking about or being near him can easily turn her on

2. FAITHFULNESS
As long as a woman knows that her man isn't making s*xual advances or flirting with any other woman she will fall for his suggestive advances. Women don't like to share

3. REALNESS
A man who speaks his mind turns her on. When he can unapologetically tell her when he is aroused, tell her his fantansies, be honest and raw about his hunger for her

4. RESPECT
A woman loves being respected. She will let her man go a long way with her if he respects her. Don't insult her like a foolish girl then expect her to let you touch her like a woman

5. A MAN WHO IS AFTER HER AS A PERSON
It is a turn off if all the man is after is having s*x with her. She is a person with a mind, spirit, heart, dreams; she wants the man to be interested in her as a person not a s*x object

6. AN INTELLIGENT MIND
A man who talks deep stuff turns a woman on, she loves it when he has a good head over his shoulders. Wow her with your mind and she will find you s*xy

7. INTIMATE CONVERSATIONS
Women love being aroused progressively. An engaging intimate conversation opens up the door to her s*xuality. She loves being slowly unwrapped with sweet affectionate words. She uses those words to confirm to her if the man's motive is right

8. THE RIGHT TOUCH
Women are touchy, they respond to touch. When a man knows where to touch and how to touch, she will get hot

9. POWERFUL EYES
Women study the man's eye contact, it tells her how hungry he is for her. Sometimes fire in his eyes is enough to get her in the mood

10. FIRM VOICE
Whether the man has a deep voice or a really deep voice, she loves a man who speaks with muscles in his voice

11. CLEANLINESS
Cleanliness is part of s*xiness

12. CONFIDENCE
A man with a good dose of ego is a turn on, he is comfortable in his own skin and comes to her chargingTsar Kevin

20/06/2024

Kenya sihami😂😂

20/06/2024

*Home And Kitchen Tips*

👉Burning a ring of onion will chase away flies in the kitchen
For bed linen and pillows to smell nice put baby powder it helps.

👉When you pick veggies from the garden put them in salty water for 5 minutes snails, aphids, worms etc will fall away,
When cooking meat put a teaspoon of margarine so that it doesn't overflow when boiling even when you close the pot.

👉A little bit of cooking oil and lemon juice, shake until it's mixed it will make your furniture shine just like Mukwa oil.

👉When cooking beans and you are putting soup add a little vinegar and tomato sauce and boil. U won't have bloated stomach.

👉Put vinegar in your bath water once per week especially those with bad body odour. You will be fresh.

👉Those with cracked feet put a ripe tomato then scrub afterwards they will disappear
If you see your electric kettle becoming yellow or brown at the bottom boil some water a bit then put bicarbonate of soda the stains will disappear fast.

👉If you want to clean black suede shoes and you don't have suede cleaner you can use vinegar.

👉When cooking tripe (cow intestines) cut some onions and put inside thn add a little cooking oil to get rid of flies and add salt so that it doesn't overflow and pour in a spoon of vinegar to avoiding coagulating while eating.

👉When cooking fish put a vegetable leaf at the bottom n place e fish on top. The fish won't stick to the pot.

👉When u see a black pot changing colour put jik or vinegar n fill with water then leave overnight.

👉If there is anyone with fungi between the toes or fingers put a little vinegar once a day, not those anti fungal powder. The toes will dry up very quickly.

If you don't want your seasoning cubes to get soft and start bringing out water....add garri to the container where you put your seasoning cubes. It wilk remain strong and fresh.

Don't throw away your left over pounded yam. Dry it and crush it. After its dried then use it to eat beans....its a great taste.

if

18/06/2024

Making these at 20bob

18/06/2024

A true friend is like a p***s, he stands up for you in times of need. A genuine friend is like a bra, she supports you at all times. A faithful friend is like a condom , he protects you from all harm. A loving friend is like a va**na, she accomodates you fully despite the size of your problem.

⭕1. Ka*****ra says : If you suck one ni**le, the woman herself offers the other one. And that was the origin of "buy one get one free"!

⭕2. Did you ever notice: everything on a woman's upper body starts with a "B". Blouse, Bra, Bikini, B***s & lower body with a "P" Peticoat, panties, p***y... That's origin of "BP"!

⭕3. Before s*x, you help each other get naked. After s*x, you dress only yourself. Moral: In life no one helps you once you're fu**ed.

⭕4. Success is like pregnancy. Everybody congratulates you but nobody knows how many times you got fu**ed to achieve it.

⭕5. Life is like a dick, sometimes it becomes hard for no reason.

⭕6. Practical thought: A husband is supposed to make his wife's panties wet, not her eyes. A wife is supposed to make her husband's dick hard, not his life..!

⭕When a lady is pregnant,
all her friends touch her stomach ad say "Congrats!".
But none of them come and touch the man's P***s and say "Well done!".
Moral: Hard work is never appreciated: Only results matter. Love and share to someone else to know this. If it's true
Tsar Kevin

18/06/2024

Growing mango trees from leaves by rooting banana trees
1. Select Healthy Mango Leaves
Choose young, disease-free mango leaves.
2. Prepare the Mango Leaves
Cut leaves with a small stem attached, about 4-6 inches long.
3. Prepare the Banana Tree
Cut a banana stem section (2-3 inches) or pieces of a banana peel.
Make small slits or holes in the banana section.
4. Insert the Mango Leaves
Insert the cut end of each mango leaf into the slits in the banana section.
5. Plant the Banana and Mango Combination
Fill pots with well-draining soil.
Place the banana and mango combination in small holes in the soil, burying the banana section.
6. Create a Humid Environment
Water thoroughly.
Cover with plastic bags or a bottle to create humidity, with ventilation holes.
7. Place in Indirect Sunlight
Position the pots in bright, indirect sunlight.
8. Monitor and Maintain
Keep soil moist but not waterlogged.
Check for new growth regularly.
9. Transplanting
Once roots and new growth appear, transplant to larger pots or the ground.
Tsar Kevin

09/06/2024

MY FIRST TIME TO HAVE S*X.

I entered a shop and bought a pack with three condoms, I looked at them curiously for a while wondering how on earth I could use them.

The Lady at the counter noticed my puzzlement and asked sincerely, ''Have you ever used a condom?

Do you know how to put it on?'' I blushed and said, "No!" The lady took one condom and opened it and wore it on her thumb as an example.

"This is how you put it. You have to make sure its tight!''

I was even more puzzled by this. I was just an innocent young man. She noticed how shy and confused I was.

"You must be a virgin," she said teasingly. "Have you ever had s*x?"... She asked.. l said, ''No!" Then she looked around the shop; there was no one but just the two of us.

She called me behind the counter, opened the door leading to the back rooms and invited me in. She quickly locked the door.

She told me to hurry up... "We don't have time!" She said. She pulled her short skirt up, her panty down, opened her legs and layed her back on a table. I was really shaking!

Then she told me to wear the condom on just like she had demonstrated to me. I did, and she pulled me close, and oh yes! there, I as right deep inside her wet sweet flesh. ......

But Oh My God no, in just two minutes inside it was just too much and I came, tsaaa tsaaa I WAS DONE!!

The lady felt it too, she felt the hot fluid inside her, and asks me, ''Did you put the condom on like I told you?" "Yes I did. Just like you showed me!" I replied.

She says, ''Lets see!" (I showed her) "Oh s**t!" she screamed. "You are supposed to wear it on your P***S not on your THUMB, you fool...!!!..That's how I became a dad. I am off to buy pampers😭"

The Moral Of The Story!

Out of ignorance, 99% of marriages were formed in this manner. No, proper counseling or education. And the bible says in the book of Hosea, "My people perish for lack of knowledge (Information)".

09/06/2024

HIV
Human Immunodeficiency Virus (HIV) is a virus that attacks the immune system, weakening the body's ability to fight off infections and diseases. It is primarily transmitted through unprotected s*xual in*******se, sharing of needles, and from an infected mother to her child during childbirth or breastfeeding. Early detection and medical treatment can help manage HIV, but there is currently no cure.

MICROORGANISMS THAT CAUSES HIV

HIV is caused by two types of the virus:
i: HIV-1
ii: HIV-2.
These viruses belong to the retrovirus family and are part of the Lentivirus genus. The main culprit responsible for the global HIV epidemic is HIV-1. The viruses are transmitted primarily through certain body fluids, such as blood, semen, va**nal fluids, re**al fluids, and breast milk, and they infect and gradually destroy the immune system's CD4 cells. Understanding how HIV spreads and taking preventive measures can help reduce its transmission.

SYMPTOMS OF HIV.
HIV symptoms can vary among individuals, and some people may not experience noticeable symptoms for years after infection. Common early symptoms may include:

1. Fever and Fatigue: Many people experience flu-like symptoms, such as fever, fatigue, and general malaise, shortly after HIV infection.

2. Swollen Lymph Nodes: Enlarged lymph nodes, particularly in the neck, armpit, or groin, can be a sign of an immune system response to the virus.

3. Sore Throat and Headache: These symptoms may occur during the early stages of infection.

4. Rash: Some individuals may develop a rash on the skin, which can be itchy and red.

5. Muscle and Joint Pain: Pain or discomfort in the muscles and joints may be present.

It's important to note that these symptoms are not exclusive to HIV and can be caused by various other conditions. Additionally, some people with HIV may not experience any symptoms for a long time.

As HIV progresses, without proper treatment, the immune system weakens, leading to more severe symptoms and in

09/06/2024

LIST OF CERTAIN DISEASES AND THEIR TREATMENT.

TO BE FAT

To be very fat is not healthy. Too much fat helps cause high blood pressure, heart diseases, stroke, gall stones, diabetes, arthritis and other problems.

To lose weight, eat only half of what you now eat and exercise.

DRUGS FOR OBESITY.
- Bupropion naltrexone
- orlistat
- Phentermine
- semaglutide
- setmelanotide.

PNEUMONIA

Pneumonia is an acute infection of the lungs.

Drugs for pneumonia
- azithromycin
- erythromycin
- clarithromycin
- aspirin

HEPATITIS

hepatitis is virus infection that harms the liver.
Types of hepatitis
- hepatitis A
- hepatitis B
- hepatitis C
- hepatitis D
- hepatitis E

Drugs for hepatitis
- sabusam
- livolin
- essentia forte
- ethambutol

VARICOSE VEINS

varicose veins are veins that are swollen, twisted, and often painful. They are often seen on the legs of older people and of women who are pregnant or who have had many children.

There is no medicine for varicose veins.

Tips
- do not spend time standing or sitting with your feet down.
- try to lie down with your feet up for a few moments every half hour.
- sleep with your feet up.
- use elastic stockings.
- use elastic bandages.

PILES

pile or hemorrhoids are varicose veins of the a**s or re**um, which feel like a little lumps or balls .they may be painful. Some appears in pregnant women and may go away afterwards.

Drugs for pile
- pilex
- liquid paraffin
- a**sol

CONVULSION

fits come from a problem in the brain.
In small children common causes of convulsion are high fever and severe dehydration. Some may be meningitis, malaria of the brain, or poisoning. If you have convulsion you may have epilepsy afterwards.

Treatment
- try to figure out the cause of a fit and treat it.