Bernard simiyu

10/08/2024

I have reached 200 followers! Thank you for your continued support. I could not have done it without each of you. 🙏🤗🎉

10/08/2024

UNIVERSITY OF ADULTERY
FINAL YEAR EXAMS
COURSE: MARRIAGEMATICS

Time: 1 HOUR 30 MINS

INSTRUCTIONS

ATTEMPT ALL QUESTIONS

ALL QUESTIONS CARRY EQUAL MARKS

1. You are a married man and you have dated somebody's wife for two years, busy spending on her like there is no tomorrow. Eventually she drops you and concentrates on her innocent husband. Calculate the percentage of time wasted. (20 marks)

2. You bought a phone for your friend's wife and she gave it to her husband. Using trigonometric identities, derive a general formula for this type of love. (20 marks)

3. For Men You're dating around 15 ladies and every lady is demanding for a Samsung Galaxy and an iPhone x

(a) Plot a graph of detoothers against prices of phones.
(15 marks)

(b) Use your graph to estimate your future poverty (5 marks)

(c) Plot the percentage shame against volume of apologies to your family members. (5 Marks)

4. You are whatsapping and facebooking other people's wives yet you don't want to see your wife on the social network. Calculate the Percentage Error in your thinking capacity. (20 marks)

5. You are a civil servant, your wife is a petty trader, your combined household income is less than 10, 000k Your daughter is using iPhone 6s and Samsung Galaxy worth 30, 000k each. Calculate the percentage of your Parental Negligence. (20 marks)

6. For ladies You're a married woman and you have dated 20 guys with hard labour, use the law of diminishing returns to calculate the substance that will be left for your husband to enjoy. (20 marks)

7. You can't give your wife 2000k for a pot of soup, but you spend over 5000k in bars and restaurant.
Calculate the radius of your 'stupidity', take π=3.142 (20 marks)

8. You have been in the church and in your fellowship for years but your name is not in the book of LIFE because of the secret sin. Calculate the years you will spend in HELL? (30 marks) Benard wa story zieleweki

10/12/2023

06/12/2023

Wow finally nothing to hide my baby girl loves you mmmm♥️🌹

01/12/2023

Allah sema ka day kuzima pale alphax

01/12/2023

Kujibamba2

04/08/2023

Wele wee aiii

27/07/2023

Sasa safari tulienda na boss ilikua fiti, lakini kurudi from uganda to mbsa.
Kufika salgaa boss akasema ako njaa nkaweka gari kando tukaingia kwa mama nitiliye.....
Waiter kuniona tu hii akaniita kiongosiii nifanye k**a kawaida uwee...chai, na mandazi nane chafua supu ya getheriii..
Ju Boss nimsitinji akesema leta k**a hiii. Waiter akacheza kiyeye ....... Mm naye n nani nkafinyia waiter macho ju nko na namba yake nmemtumia msg nkamwambia alete bill boss analipa 5k boss hajaamini hii maneno ady sai .
Uyo waiter amenitumia zangu 4800. Nmetumia wife 4k alipie watoto shule.....

24/07/2023

Unasema umeona mengi 🤔🤔 we umewai ona pegs ya mbao 🤣🤣🤣 Wacha bwana 🤣

23/07/2023

Madem muache kulala kwa matatu
Kuna mwingine amelala kando yngu akasema "vaa condom " wasee wote wakaniangalia🤭🤦🏾😅😂😂😂😂🤔

23/07/2023

Afadhali stress za mapenzi hutuvunja tu moyo😭💔ingekuwa ikituvunja miguu am sure watu wote wangekuwa viwete sahii Kwanza 👉 ♿🤦

19/07/2023

Umeolewa na mtu wa butchery alafu usiku unaskia amekushika matiti aty "customer nikukatie wapi hii haina mifupa"😁

19/07/2023

Najua nasumbia but msijali ni stage 2 alafuuu yatapita Yana mwisho

19/07/2023

Nikiwa mdogo..walifrahia wakisema its a bouncing baby boy 😋na SAA izi nikibounce uku mnaniangalia k**a nmeua mtu 🙄💔🚮😂😂

10/07/2023

Unauliza jama direction anakuambia enda na na njia ukifika apo Pali kuna nyumba piga corner Sasa surely niende na njia nda beba aje

09/07/2023

Hello people that day has come to the beginning as they said the beginning of wisdom have blessed Sunday my people

08/07/2023

Nice time dear friends till we meet again I'll be back sooner bye enjoy and be safe

07/07/2023

Story Story 😁😁

A man was dating 3 ladies and wanted to decide who to marry. He then gave them a
test.

He gave each #100,000 and observed what each did with the money.

The first one Chimaka did a total make-over which
included a fancy hair style, make up and several new outfits. She then dressed up for the man and said, "I have done this to make myself more attractive to you bcoz I love u so much."
The man was impressed.

The second woman Eberechukwu went gift shopping for the man. She bought him a new phone, a watch and very flashy clothes. As she
presented these gifts to him she said,
"I've spent all the money on you because I love
u so much."
The man was again impressed.

The third one Uzoramaka invested the money in the stock market. She earned #400,000 and gave him back his #100,000.
She then deposited the remainder in a joint account. She told him that she wanted to secure their future bcoz she loved him so much.
Obviously, the man was very impressed.

The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money.

In the end, he married Chidinma his neighbor who has the biggest buttocks and brèàst 🏃🏃.

Oh! You thought he would marry the last woman abi??😂😂.

The way he shock you, na so he shock me too 🤣🤣🤣

Laugh loud, be happy and happy Friday...

Send a message to learn more

07/07/2023

Story zieleweki

Vijana wawili✌ waliiba bag kubwa ya matunda kutoka kwa jirani yao🙈😋...wakaamua waende place imetulia wagawanie huko...
Mmoja akasuggest waende kwa makaburi iliyokua hapo karibu😳😌
Vile walikua wanaruka ile gate ya makaburi matunda mbili kubwa zilianguka lakini hawakuzichukua,,,coz walikua na mingi kwa bag😋😋😊
Few minutes later mlevi mmoja akapita hapo karibu akasikia👂 sauti ikisema..."moja yako moja yangu, moja yako moja yangu "👀😏😅
Aliposikia ivo alikimbia 🏃 k**a ero ameibiwa shuka,,alifika kanisa iliyokua hapo karibu,,akapata pastor✋
" pastor kuja uone mungu na shetani waki-share maiti kwa makaburi "😳😳👀
Wote walikimbia kuelekea cemetery,,,walifika huko bado wakaskia sauti inaendelea..."moja yako moja yangu, moja yako moja yangu" kidogo kidogo ile sauti ikaacha kuhesabu...alaf ikaskika..."what about the two at the gate?"👀🙆🙆..mmoja akasema "yenye iko kwa gate ni yangu"😂
Kusikia ivo,,pastor alitoka mbio🏃 akapita gate ya church yake akishout..."bado hatujakufa?"..😅😂

Wakuu si tu Like hii sasa😂😂 help me invite more people

07/07/2023

IF HUMAN BEING HAVE RIGHT TO BEAR ARMS DO BEAR HAVE RIGHT TO HUMAN ARMS ???

07/07/2023

Not everything that counts can be counted and not everything that is counted counts